P. Kirby > Recent Status Updates

I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn't even know that I'm alive

Amen.

"Laura."
"Laura. Okay. Well, I hope you don't mind dealing with weirdos. Because they come out at night."
"I'm sure they do. I can cope."

Dead Wife's working the dead shift. *Snort.* Twenty more pages! At this rate, I might finish this doorstop by fall.

Murdered by crucifixes is good. ;P

Shall I return to my embroidery? Lizzie mocked. Shall I break your pox-ridden nose with my forehead? Shall I grab you tiny balls and squeezed until your face turns black?

LOL! Love Lizzie. She's delightfully bloodthirsty.

I don't expect this to be good, but it'll probably be an action-packed conterpoint to a certain award winning book. Yeah, American Gods, I'm lookin' at you.

Four whole pages read! The "action" consisting of a lugubrious conversation between Shadow and his "dead wife" where dead wife says, "I came all the way from Texas to say 'Hi." And now that I've done that, it's back to Texas." And Shadow says, "Uh-okay."

Riveting. NOT!

In the past 20 pages of so, Shadow has gone for long walks, taken the occasional road trip with Wednesday to meet various peculiar god-spirit persons (meetings happening off-screen), taken more walks, and sniffed the bright, cold winter air. This book is the most over-written thing, like...EVER! ZZZZzzzzzZZZZzzzzZZZZZZZZz..zZZzzzz

"Look around. In a world where department stores exist, where do king and princes even fit in anymore?"

Ah, Dad, you're so awesome.

"You're my friend. If you stopped sewing today you're still the best friend I've ever had."

Now that's romantic! <3 <3 <3

"You?" he finally said. "You are Princess Selene?"

*Face palm.* Stupidest...prince...ever.

I can't be on a spaceship. I have a country to run."

Honey, you're so stupid, I wouldn't let you run the dishwasher.

"Jacin Clay," she whispered. "Sybil's guard, with the blond hair and beautiful eyes and the rising sun in his smile."

Welcome to the land of painfully white fairy tale heroes.

The rooftop. The kiss. He'd kept his promise. He'd given her a kiss worth waiting for because she was about to die--they were both about to die. She know it had been a risk, and probably a stupid one. And that was the choice he'd made rather than let her died without experiencing that perfect moment.

Oh for fuck's sake, child. You have NO IDEA what real love is.

"And you think my entire opinion of you was based on one incident that happened when you were thirteen years old?"

Well, it is. You've known each other a total of what, four days?

"You're telling me that this teenage girl has not only escaped from your prison and evaded capture by your highly trained military, bu has now invaded your palace and the private quarters of the emperor himself, kidnapped him, and gotten away with it?"

Alas, Levana, it's true. You're trapped in the Fifth Circle of Lazy Writing.

Wolf had lain on his side on the lower bunk bed of one of the crew quarters, his face buried in a pillow. Cress had assumed it was his bed, until Thorne informed her it had been Scarlet's.
She pitied him, of course.

I don't. I love my hubs with passion of a billion suns, but if he dissolved into a puddle emo-shit-glue instead of rescuing me, I kick him to the curb.

The "I am your father" contrivance is such lazy writing.

Throne room scene with Scarlet being threatened with the amputation of a finger. And I'm quoting Pooh-Bah from The Mikado: "Chop it off! Chop it off!"

Kai cursed beneath his breath. "You know, I'm beginning to think I entered into this marriage thing a bit hastily."

Ya think? Holy monkey balls, you are stupid! QUICK! Somebody get Kai to the vet for neutering because no one who's this stupid should breed.

Lookie! I've read two whole pages in two days. Somebody get me a cookie. Stat!

It's the end of the world and...nobody wants to solve a murder. Heh.

Well, that all went to shit at the speed of light! LOL. Like previous books, thar be flaws, but the plot on this one is clipping along at a good speed.

Cress is interesting; I still like Cinder; Thorne is the bomb; Wolf is meh; and Scarlet is still irritating.

"Maybe Cinder is onto something. Maybe Princess Selene is still out there."

Ya think? I hope you really are pretty Kai, because you're dumber than a bag of hammers.

Slowest...book...ever.

No man, proclaimed Donne, is an Island, and he was wrong. If we were not islands, we would be lost, drowned in each other's tragedies.