dani > Recent Status Updates

“for your final rites, you will fuck a fat girl”

oh no! not a thing i already wanna do! 🙄😑

i’m not signing shit! she’s nuts. i’m releasing that shit tot the public. don’t fucking play with me, boy!

i’m gonna need caleb and ramon to fucking die.

also caleb’s cousin and probably his daddy even though he hasn’t been here since like chapter 2z

listen, i’m scared because caleb is a hoe. now we both got chlamydia or some shit.

august is pissing me off. he’s in fucking la la land and my girl is in fucking hell. shut up!

911!

hopscotch!

kennedy ryan, you have harmed me!

she’s a fucking writer, man. this is a damn story. i don’t know why my dumb ass expected a cute little basketball love story when i have read 4 of her fucking books! i am so stupid. i am crying!

this man is down bad. he’s met this girl 3 times. he hasn’t seen her in like 9 months.

oh no, he called her a unicorn. she literally just likes basketball and mildly insulted him.

i’ve never been a big harry potter fan so maybe my ears just don’t perk up when it’s mentioned. i think i remember her mentioning dumbledore at some point. but she also mentioned lord of the rings so maybe it was gandalf. i don’t fucking know. i saw like 3 reviews mention that there were 3-4 references and i feel insane that i got to the end and didn’t notice.

“i’ve always wanted a daughter and now i finally have one”??? bitch! that was fucked. i understand the slip up though because i constantly watch tv shows and say “i wish i had a sister” despite having 8 fucking sisters.

is this book about me? every couple minutes she says something uncannily similar to my life. my mom also “doesn’t like the taste of water”.

girl, why the fuck are you lying like that?

i get why the book started by saying they used book logic for the jobs because there’s just no fucking way that a data analyst would be transferred to training staff. that just doesn’t make sense to me. i knew it would happen but i assumed we would see his qualifications for that job and he would apply. i dont give a fuck though i love this dumb fucking book.

i’m sorry? she’s a data analyst but she had to ask someone else how to recover a deleted email? that was only in the trash can? book you’re so funny!

he’s like me because if you really think the absolute worst of me like that then we’re down. i’m not gonna fucking bother. i hate being misunderstood and i’m quick to cut a motherfucker off.

don’t cry at work, babe. that’s embarrassing.

also in love? it’s been a week!

them telling hr about their relationship is so funny to me. y’all have only been together for 3 days. i don’t know how fast you’re meant to tell hr about these things but i find this so unserious.

emmy and gabe are the stupidest motherfuckers on the planet. put two and two together, baby!

he’s 6 feet and she’s like what 5’2/5’3? that does absolutely nothing for me.

also her reason for not liking him is not compelling to me.

damn, she mentioned a nemesis. obviously it’s him but what a fucking weird book logic coincidence.

this is already making more sense. he was given the wrong number at a bar. the other book is insane because he just happened to accidentally text his best friend’s sister? and they never explained how that happened either. where did he get her number from? whatever this is a different book, let me not harp on it.

i hope this one is better than mr. wrong number. the first scene is so similar (i haven’t even finished the whole scene yet.)

oh no, she’s not like other girls. 🙄

bitch, how the fuck are you gonna try to convince me to feel bad for you when your sister died because she tried to kill a baby? i’m supposed to feel sorry for that bitch, well i don’t. she had it coming.

i fucking knew it!

she went to abba? girl, i would never trust her! i wouldn’t trust a single soul but my dad. i don’t know if she’s untrustworthy but i ain’t trusting NO ONE!!

literally nothing is happening in this book. i’m almost done and there is almost no story. i’m having a good time though.

this is reminding more of twilight than the vampire diaries.

if you kill her then you’re no better than her? absolutely fucking not! she’s a serial killer who steals magic and has no regard for anything. she literally just killed a 7 year old. i hate that bullshit. please kill that bitch!

i hate this falsely accused nonsense. it just gonna lead me to the arms of the enemy. when these are the people who are supposed to be your allies who needs enemies?