dani > Recent Status Updates

third story this week where a spouse dies in a car accident on the way to the store. what the fuck is going on?

she better not be pregnant

these books have so much plot for no reason.

i now understand the tournament arcs in dragon ball z. this is so fucking good.

daddy!

a declaration of war? nicki chan is so fucking hot!

nicki chan is a lesbian! there is a god! i felt it in my bones.

bowe, baby, i love you. he learned a little spanish for her? barely. very michael during his wedding to jane of him.

bowe! my man, my man, my man! i am dangerously in love with you (i don’t like men)

i’m the problem because she said she wants to be friends and i said please fuck him.

it’s so fucked when you ruin your own child’s life and then you get disappointed that they’re the way you made them. like you didn’t let her be a kid, or teach her how to make friends, and told her she was gonna be the greatest. that’s who she is now.

carrie’s just like me fr because i said no immediately when they asked if she felt bad about about going after her ankle. the bitch loves to claim she’s injured, then be injured for real. fuck you.

damn, 2 books in a row where a wife dies by being hit by a car after going to the grocery store.

now i wanna start learning spanish again, i hate recognizing words but forgetting what they mean.

also media needs to stop making tennis seem interesting. now i wanna learn tennis.

the plot of real love doesn’t sound oscar worthy at all. like walk the line is the one that won that year. she should’ve lost, hell, she shouldn’t have been nominated.

i’m surprised she started a new agency instead of getting into the school. she hates her job.

why are they putting random news in the middle of their serious conversation? especially when it doesn’t sound like it even has plot relevance.

i never know what the fuck is happening in the sex scenes. i prefer when they just straight up tell me what they’re doing.

a tug on her heart and her clit? please shut the fuck up!

this book is so gross. it keeps talking about farts and shit. like what are we doing?

the kiss that absolutely flooded my basement? her clit practically jumps out of her jeans? you’re losing me! you’re fucking losing me!

her vagina gulps? i hate that sentence a lot.

i do think getting with someone new 1 year after the death of your partner of 12 years is kinda soon but whatever. i can’t criticize.

actual wrinkles? girl, you are 35? is that normal? my mom is 52 and she doesn’t have wrinkles.

ali, bitch, i’m gonna need you to go to fucking therapy!

ali is very annoying to me. i understand why she is the way she is but i just don’t like it.

1. cara sounds hot
2. there is no way from that description that anyone on earth would believe she’s straight.

her middle name is danielle? she really is me. what the fuck?

i forgot toys exist. 🤦🏾‍♀️

how well sex gonna go with her carpal tunnel?