Mei

“A man is not entitled to be called a father merely because he once had a well-timed spasm of the loins.”
― Lisa Kleypas, Marrying Winterborne

“An eternity later, they reached what he thought might be the end, and King Henry waved his turkey leg in the air, loudly proclaiming, “This land shall be mine, henceforth and forevermore!”
And indeed, it seemed that all was lost for the poor, sweet shepherdess and her strangely changeable flock. But just then, there was a mighty roar—
“Is there a lion?” Richard wondered.
—and the unicorn burst onto the scene!
“Die!” the unicorn shrieked. “Die! Die! Die!”
Richard looked to Iris in confusion. The unicorn had not thus demonstrated an ability to speak.
Henry’s scream of terror was so chilling, the woman behind Richard murmured, “This is surprisingly well acted.”
Richard stole another look at Iris; her mouth was hanging open as Henry leapt over a cow and ran behind the piano, only to trip over the littlest sheep, who was still licking the piano leg.
Henry scrambled for purchase, but the (possibly rabid) unicorn was too fast, and it ran headfirst (and head down) toward the frightened king, plunging its horn into his large, pillowed belly.
Someone screamed, and Henry went down, feathers flying.
“I don’t think this was in the script,” Iris said in a horrified whisper.”
― Julia Quinn, The Secrets of Sir Richard Kenworthy

“Follow your heart, but keep it on a leash.”
― D.B. Woodling

“Wife number three: Lynette. She looked like a horse and kind of walked like one, too. Not surprisingly, neigh was her favorite word and seven nights a week.
~Detective Mike Malone”
― D.B. Woodling, Final Claim