Laura Cushing

“You may not be the person your mother wants you to be, but you are you. Our job here is to try and separate the wheat from the chaff and figure out who you are and not who your mother thinks you are.”
― Fannie Flagg, The All-Girl Filling Station's Last Reunion

“I’m driving the minibus on Saturday, right?" "No, I’ve promised Darren he can do it." "What?" "He does at least know how to drive." "Hang on, you’ve seen me on Grand Theft Auto. I’m a driving genius." Michael shook his head. "We’re taking the cubs to the museum, Jeremy. If I ever need anyone to cruise round, picking up prostitutes and getting into car chases with the police, I’ll ask you." "I will hold you to that," Clovenhoof pouted and dragged himself back into the funeral parlour, grumbling as he went.”
― Heide Goody, Pigeonwings

“A person who suffers from his own bad habits is almost never likely to blame himself. Everyone else becomes a target. And the folks who are different become the biggest target. Travis”
― Gregory Miller, The Uncanny Valley: Tales from a Lost Town

“BTW, notice that cannot is all one word! That is a very frequent mistake, also,” said Grandpa. “You don’t write can not, it is cannot.” “Hey, why is did not two words and cannot is one word?” asked Morgan. “Go ask your mother,” smiled Grandpa.”
― John Choisser, Grandpa, When Do We Say Me, Myself, or I?: Let's Stamp Out Grammar Demons!