Eli

“You're one third bad intentions, one third pure avarice, and one eighth sawdust. What's left, I'll credit, must be brains.”
― Scott Lynch, The Lies of Locke Lamora

“I have been quite put out of temper this morning and someone ought to die for it.”
― Susanna Clarke, Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell

“What's the n-never-fail universal apology?"

"'I was badly misinformed, I deeply regret the error, go fuck yourself with this bag of money.”
― Scott Lynch, The Republic of Thieves

“And then Jack chopped down what was the world's last beanstalk, adding murder and ecological terrorism to the theft, enticement, and trespass charges already mentioned, and all the giant's children didn't have a daddy anymore. But he got away with it and lived happily ever after, without so much as a guilty twinge about what he had done...which proves that you can be excused for just about anything if you are a hero, because no one asks inconvenient questions.”
― Terry Pratchett, Hogfather