2026 Reading Challenge

Eli > Eli's Quotes

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  • #1
    Douglas Adams
    “The story so far:
    In the beginning the Universe was created.
    This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
    ― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
    tags: humor, scifi
    23457 likes

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  • #2
    Susanna Clarke
    “I have been quite put out of temper this morning and someone ought to die for it.”
    ― Susanna Clarke, Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell
    tags: fairies, murder, temper
    52 likes

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  • #3
    Neil Gaiman
    “Hey," said Shadow. "Huginn or Muninn, or whoever you are."
    The bird turned, head tipped, suspiciously, on one side, and it stared at him with bright eyes.
    "Say 'Nevermore,'" said Shadow.
    "Fuck you," said the raven.”
    ― Neil Gaiman, American Gods
    tags: edgar-allan-poe, humor, nevermore, parody, poe, raven
    1884 likes

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  • #4
    Terry Pratchett
    “I commend my soul to any god that can find it.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Going Postal
    tags: humor, moist-von-lipwig
    374 likes

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  • #5
    Scott Lynch
    “You're one third bad intentions, one third pure avarice, and one eighth sawdust. What's left, I'll credit, must be brains.”
    ― Scott Lynch, The Lies of Locke Lamora
    tags: gentlemen-bastards, locke-lamora, the-lies-of-locke-lamora
    182 likes

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  • #6
    Percy Bysshe Shelley
    “My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
    Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!”
    ― Percy Bysshe Shelley, Ozymandias
    556 likes

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  • #7
    Neil Gaiman
    “It's still National Library Week. You should be especially nice to a librarian today, or tomorrow. Sometime this week, anyway. Probably the librarians would like tea. Or chocolates. Or a reliable source of funding.”
    ― Neil Gaiman
    tags: librarians, libraries, national-library-week
    258 likes

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  • #8
    Terry Pratchett
    “And then Jack chopped down what was the world's last beanstalk, adding murder and ecological terrorism to the theft, enticement, and trespass charges already mentioned, and all the giant's children didn't have a daddy anymore. But he got away with it and lived happily ever after, without so much as a guilty twinge about what he had done...which proves that you can be excused for just about anything if you are a hero, because no one asks inconvenient questions.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Hogfather
    tags: humor
    271 likes

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  • #9
    William Shakespeare
    “Lord, what fools these mortals be!”
    ― William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night’s Dream
    tags: comedy, elizabethan, robin-goodfellow
    2536 likes

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  • #10
    Douglas Adams
    “The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”
    ― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time
    tags: humor, perspective, science
    5860 likes

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  • #12
    Scott Lynch
    “To us — richer and cleverer than everyone else!”
    ― Scott Lynch, The Lies of Locke Lamora
    tags: clever, rich, self-confidence
    215 likes

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  • #13
    Terry Pratchett
    “I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
    Death thought about it.
    CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Sourcery
    tags: cats, death, life
    3630 likes

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  • #14
    William Shakespeare
    “Our revels now are ended. These our actors,
    As I foretold you, were all spirits and
    Are melted into air, into thin air:
    And, like the baseless fabric of this vision,
    The cloud-capp’d towers, the gorgeous palaces,
    The solemn temples, the great globe itself,
    Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve
    And, like this insubstantial pageant faded,
    Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff
    As dreams are made on, and our little life
    Is rounded with a sleep.”
    ― William Shakespeare, The Tempest
    tags: death, life, meaning
    742 likes

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  • #15
    T.S. Eliot
    “Do I dare
    Disturb the universe?
    In a minute there is time
    For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.”
    ― T.S. Eliot
    tags: life, poetry
    2047 likes

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  • #16
    Douglas Adams
    “Ford... you're turning into a penguin. Stop it.”
    ― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
    1505 likes

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  • #17
    Scott Lynch
    “I can't wait to have words with the Gray King when this shit is all finished," Locke whispered. "There's a few things I want to ask him. Philosophical questions. Like, 'How does it feel to be dangled out a window by a rope tied around your balls, motherfucker?”
    ― Scott Lynch, The Lies of Locke Lamora
    266 likes

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  • #18
    Terry Pratchett
    “Twoflower was a tourist, the first ever seen on the discworld. Tourist, Rincewind had decided, meant 'idiot'.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic
    tags: first, idiot, rincewind, tourism, twoflower
    311 likes

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  • #19
    Boethius
    “Si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses.”
    ― Boethius, The Consolation of Philosophy
    5 likes

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  • #20
    Scott Lynch
    “Mew," the kitten retorted, locking gazes with him. It had the expression common to all kittens, that of a tyrant in the becoming. 'I was comfortable, and you dared to move,' those jade eyes said. 'For that you must die.' When it became apparent to the cat that its two or three pounds of mass were insufficient to break Locke's neck with one mighty snap, it put its paws on his shoulders and began sharing its drool-covered nose with his lips. He recoiled.”
    ― Scott Lynch, Red Seas Under Red Skies
    203 likes

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  • #21
    Scott Lynch
    “What's the n-never-fail universal apology?"

    "'I was badly misinformed, I deeply regret the error, go fuck yourself with this bag of money.”
    ― Scott Lynch, The Republic of Thieves
    tags: apologies, apology, bribery
    242 likes

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  • #22
    Terry Pratchett
    “Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Jingo
    tags: humor, proverb
    12933 likes

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  • #23
    Douglas Adams
    “There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

    There is another theory which states that this has already happened.”
    ― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
    tags: humor
    7874 likes

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  • #24
    Lemony Snicket
    “Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.”
    ― Lemony Snicket
    tags: fate, humor, simile
    13155 likes

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  • #25
    Lemony Snicket
    “Wicked people never have time for reading. It's one of the reasons for their wickedness.”
    ― Lemony Snicket
    tags: humor-wicked-reading
    9726 likes

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  • #26
    Lemony Snicket
    “If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats.”
    ― Lemony Snicket, The Wide Window
    tags: humor-cats-allergies
    4305 likes

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  • #27
    Lewis Carroll
    “She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she very seldom followed it).”
    ― Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland / Through the Looking-Glass
    5872 likes

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  • #28
    Lewis Carroll
    “The time has come," the walrus said, "to talk of many things: Of shoes and ships - and sealing wax - of cabbages and kings”
    ― Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland / Through the Looking-Glass
    tags: alice-in-wonderland, carpenter, poem, walrus, walrus-and-the-carpenter
    720 likes

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  • #29
    J.K. Rowling
    “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.”
    ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
    tags: mischief
    37391 likes

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  • #30
    Terry Pratchett
    “This book was written using 100% recycled words.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Wyrd Sisters
    tags: conservation, environmentalism, humor
    1038 likes

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  • #31
    Terry Pratchett
    “And what would humans be without love?"
    RARE, said Death.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Sourcery
    2187 likes



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Tags From Eli’s Quotes

humor
scifi
fairies
murder
temper
edgar-allan-poe
nevermore
parody
poe
raven
moist-von-lipwig
gentlemen-bastards
locke-lamora
the-lies-of-locke-lamora
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libraries
national-library-week
comedy
elizabethan
robin-goodfellow
perspective
science
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rich
self-confidence
cats
death
life
meaning
poetry
first
idiot
rincewind
tourism
twoflower
apologies
apology
bribery
proverb
fate
simile
humor-wicked-reading
humor-cats-allergies
alice-in-wonderland
carpenter
poem
walrus
walrus-and-the-carpenter
mischief
conservation
environmentalism