The Republic of Thieves Quotes

“A boy may be as disagreeable as he pleases, but when a girl refuses to crap sunshine on command, the world mutters darkly about her moods.”
― Scott Lynch, The Republic of Thieves

“Stand aside, and try not to catch fire if I shed sparks of genius.”
― Scott Lynch, The Republic of Thieves

“What's the n-never-fail universal apology?"

"'I was badly misinformed, I deeply regret the error, go fuck yourself with this bag of money.”
― Scott Lynch, The Republic of Thieves

“Quit being so hard on yourself. We are what we are; we love what we love. We don't need to justify it to anyone... not even to ourselves.”
― Scott Lynch, The Republic of Thieves

“I don't expect life to make sense," he said after a few moments, "but it could certainly be pleasant if it would stop kicking us in the balls.”
― Scott Lynch, The Republic of Thieves

“He said that life boils down to standing in line to get shit dropped on your head. Everyone's got a place in the queue, you can't get out of it, and just when you start to congratulate yourself on surviving your dose of shit, you discover that the line is actually circular.”
― Scott Lynch, The Republic of Thieves

“When the sky’s falling, I take shelter under bullshit.”
― Scott Lynch, The Republic of Thieves

“What is government but theft by consent?”
― Scott Lynch, The Republic of Thieves

“I can’t name the poison that’s killing your friend. But the one that’s killing you is called hope.”
― Scott Lynch, The Republic of Thieves

“My disinterest in your bullshit is so tangible you could make bricks out of it”
― Scott Lynch, The Republic of Thieves

“Yeah, but if I don't start my nervous pacing now, I'll never have it all done in time.”
― Scott Lynch, The Republic of Thieves

“Are you smarter than a pig, Locke?”
“On occasion,” said Locke. “There are contrary opinions.”
― Scott Lynch, The Republic of Thieves

“That’s how luck works, lad.
You can bitch all you like about how things could have been more favorable for you, but rest assured things can always be worse.
Always.”
― Scott Lynch, The Republic of Thieves

“Didn't Chains tell you about the Golden Theological Principle?"

"The what?"

"The single congruent aspect of every known religion. The one shared, universal assumption about the human condition."

"What is it?"

"He said that life boils down to standing in line to get shit dropped on your head. Everyone's got a place in the queue, you can't get out of it, and just when you start to congratulate yourself on surviving your dose of shit, you discover that line is actually circular.”
― Scott Lynch, The Republic of Thieves

“You want a lesson, boy? If you find yourself being born, climb back in as quick as you can, because life's a bottomless feast of shit.”
― Scott Lynch, The Republic of Thieves

“You can knock down kingdoms on a whim. What you need is someone to make sure you don't get hit by a carriage when you cross the street.”
― Scott Lynch, The Republic of Thieves

“You're my favorite complication.”
― Scott Lynch, The Republic of Thieves

“Key, crown, child,” he muttered. “Well, fuck you, Patience. Three things must you kiss before I let you spook me for good. My boots, my balls, and my ass.”
― Scott Lynch, The Republic of Thieves

“You’ve the presence of a mouse fart in a high wind. Stand aside, and try not to catch fire if I shed sparks of genius.”
― Scott Lynch, The Republic of Thieves

“I’m a little overdressed for this, but I think I can compensate by toning down my manners.” “Overdressed for what?” said Jean. “Insulting complete strangers,” said Locke, loosening his neck-cloth. “Got to mind the delicate social nuances when you inform some poor fellow that he’s a dumb motherfucker.”
― Scott Lynch, The Republic of Thieves

“I keep asking myself," whispered Sabetha, giving Locke's arm a squeeze, "ARE we smarter than that woman's chicken?"

"At the moment, it's an open question," said Locke.”
― Scott Lynch, The Republic of Thieves

“Nobody admires anyone else without qualification. If they do they're after an image, not a person.”
― Scott Lynch, The Republic of Thieves

“Nah, if she’s the rose, he can be her thorn.” Calo snapped his fingers. “The Thorn of Camorr! Now, that’s got some shine to it!”
“That’s the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever heard,” said Locke.”
― Scott Lynch, The Republic of Thieves

“Have you considered extreme, desperate measures like talking to her again?"

"Yeah, but, well..."

"You've yeah-but your way to this point," said Jean. "You're going to yeah-but this mess until it's time to go home, and I don't doubt you'll yeah-but her out of your life. Quit circling at a distance. Go talk to her, for Preva's sake.”
― Scott Lynch, The Republic of Thieves

“I shall give you a little prophecy, Locke Lamora, as best as I have seen it.
'Three things you must take up and three things you must lose before you die: a key, a crown, a child.' Patience pushed her hood up over her head. 'You will die when a silver rain falls.”
― Scott Lynch, The Republic of Thieves

“But that’s precisely what you’re doing. Listen, if you walk into a whorehouse and find yourself getting sucked off, it’s because you put some money on the counter, not because the gods transported a pair of lips to your cock.” “That’s … a really incredible metaphor, Jean, but I think I could use some help translating it.”
― Scott Lynch, The Republic of Thieves

“We like what we like, we want what we want, and nobody needs to give us permission to feel that way!”
― Scott Lynch, The Republic of Thieves

“Until you finally lose the strength for sarcasm, Locke, I wouldn’t hire any mourners.”
― Scott Lynch, The Republic of Thieves

“Sloppy idiot,” Sabetha muttered at last. “You’re trying to be charming. Well, I do not choose to be charmed by you, Locke Lamora.”
― Scott Lynch, The Republic of Thieves

“Interesting,” said Sabetha, “that I mention my own feelings, and you seem to think that what I’m after is reassurance concerning your perceptions.”
― Scott Lynch, The Republic of Thieves