Dan Deluca

“I feel stretched out, like too little butter scraped over too much waffle. And then it all falls down into one of the waffle holes and there's none left for the rest of the waffle and you sort of have to tilt it to make it run out.”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

“Around us, the disembodied human limbs were piling up, forming a circle around the fountain, fusing themselves to each other like Satan’s LEGO set.”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

“Miss," John interrupted. "We have reason to believe your dog was possessed by some kind of Hell demon. Has Molly ever spoken to you before?"
Pause.
"Who are you guys?"
"Just answer the question. Please," John said. "Has there ever been any levitation?"
"What? No."
"Are you sure?"
"Ma'am," I said, "if your dog was dabbling in the occult while you had her it's best you tell us now. We're experts.”
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

“Butterbean!” came Katherine’s voice from the woods.  Chaz wondered, as he lazily chucked another pine cone onto the fire, if he were given an infinite amount of time and paper, and were asked to continue writing what he thought the next word he was going to hear out of Katherine’s mouth just a moment ago, how many centuries and libraries’ worth of paper he would go through before he came up with the word “butterbean”.”
― Robert Bevan, Critical Failures