Our second group anthology-Submissions to Ignite by end of September, please. Showing 551-600 of 1,221

[M.T.]

I have a picture the cat before last in that position on my Mum's lap. BTW, am I the only one who can't get onto the Amazon.co.uk forums any more. The page just doesn't load.

[Jim]

M.T. wrote: "I have a picture the cat before last in that position on my Mum's lap. BTW, am I the only one who can't get onto the Amazon.co.uk forums any more. The page just doesn't load."

we got your message about Scotch Eggs

[M.T.]

Phnark.... you've got more than you bargained for, I've posted the poem...

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

Now you've made me hungry again!

And right beside this typey box is an ad for some very snazzy corsets! I don't think so...

[David]

[waves hand in the air] Miss! I have a question!

What's the absolute maximum word count that a submission can be?

[Simon (Highwayman)]

Hmmm, what is the minimum word count?

[Kath]

David - max last year was nearly 13,000. Min can be a haiku but preferably not 17 syllabubs about beer, Simon dear.
I'm trying not to be too proscriptive about this. I want it to be a work of creative spontaneity! You'd think at my age experience would have triumphed over hope but I'm the eternal optimist!

[Jim]

Beer, dear but divine
Deep brown, rich tasty and yet
A drag, makes me fart

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

Custard, rich yellow
smothering my dessert and
so evocative

[David]

Thanks Ignite. Turns out the story I was considering submitting is, upon checking, four times that length...

[Kath]

Ah. A book, you mean?

[Jim]

Ignite wrote: "Ah. A book, you mean?"

At least it's not a victorian three volume novel ;-)

[Kath]

You could serialise it over the next 4 group anthologies. Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. Again!

[David]

Ignite wrote: "Ah. A book, you mean?"

I knew there'd be some technical term for it!

[M.T.]

Today I flew
Not take off
Not Chimney
Just snotty.

[Kath]

M.T. wrote: "Today I flew
Not take off
Not Chimney
Just snotty."

5, 7, 5 MTM. ;)

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

Hmmmm... haiku thread?

[M.T.]

Phnark! It was probably consciously written as a haiku but I've forgotten how do do them and what it is since then... ;-)

Cheers

MTM

[Darren]

Gingerlily (or Cyberlily..) wrote: "Hmmmm... haiku thread?"

Gesundheit!

[Patti (baconater)]

Comes out loose.

[David]

Right... after much indecision, I've finally started writing the story I'll be submitting! Nothing like a deadline coming at you like a freight train to concentrate the mind.

By the way, is the title for this still 'A Splendid Salmagundi'? :-/

[Emma]

David wrote: "Right... after much indecision, I've finally started writing the story I'll be submitting! Nothing like a deadline coming at you like a freight train to concentrate the mind.

By the way, is the ti..."

Yep, it is still called that David xx

[Jonathan]

It's called what now?!

[Pat ()]

A Splendid Salmagundi

[Jonathan]

OK, had to look up one of those words. (so that's what 'splendid' means ;) )

Ignite, I've messaged you!

Have finished a story for the anthology. Woohoo!

[David]

Will everyone duff me up if I confess I don't like the title?

Bit worried that potential readers may a) be confused, or b) think we're a bunch of pretentious whatnots!

[Tim]

David wrote: "Will everyone duff me up if I confess I don't like the title?

Bit worried that potential readers may a) be confused, or b) think we're a bunch of pretentious whatnots!"

Obviously we shall have to call it The Book of Most Quality Writers.

[Kath]

You don't have to like it! You just have to buy it.

The first was called A Goodreads Gallimaufrey. Because I like alliteration. This is a mixed, tossed salad. However, if anyone wants to suggest another title do feel free. This is a begign dictatorship but the dictator is open to suggestions.

The idea is to suggest our infinite variety! And I don't like dumbing down.

[Rosemary (grooving with the Picts)]

Well I like Salmagundi! But it was my suggestion :)
I think it is a pleasing word...

[Jonathan]

Wasn't there a song?

Salmagundi - born on a Monday...

[A.L.]

Solomon grundy - born on a monday
Christened on a tuesday
married on a wednesday
took ill on a thursday
worse on friday
died on saturday
buried on sunday
that was the end of Solomon Grundy

[Kath]

Proof reading myself - a benign dictatorship!

Note the important word - I do the work, I dictate! Well done Rosemary - a lady of taste and Most Quality.

PS Had a couple with my dinner - probably rambling a little!

[Jonathan]

I thought it was:

Salmagundi thought up on a Monday
Written on Tuesday
Edited on Wednesday
Uploaded on Thursday
Downloaded on Friday
Reviewed on Saturday
Smash hit on Sunday
And that's A Splendid Salmagundi!

[Jonathan]

And, please feel free to use that as promo material! ;)

[M.T.]

I'm not sure whether a Salmagundi is a kind of lizard or a cucumber... it sounds a lot more exotic than burpless tasty green.

Hmm...

[Patti (baconater)]

Jonathan wrote: "I thought it was:

Salmagundi thought up on a Monday
Written on Tuesday
Edited on Wednesday
Uploaded on Thursday
Downloaded on Friday
Reviewed on Saturday
Smash hit on Sunday
And that's A Splendid ..."

Jonathan, that is marvellous!!!!

[A.L.]

Hehehe yes

[Kath]

Maybe that should be the first poem?

[D.M. Andrews (author)]

It's not very realistic though. You have to wait about 7 days for the sample preview to go live, then there's emailing them to sort the categories out, then there's...

[Patti (baconater)]

D.M. Andrews (GoodReads Author) wrote: "It's not very realistic though. You have to wait about 7 days for the sample preview to go live, then there's emailing them to sort the categories out, then there's..."

Downer.

[Kath]

He's realistic Patti. I'm surrealistic!

[Jonathan]

OK, here's a more realistic one, once the book's ready to go live.
Salmagundi uploaded on the Monday.
Adjust the price on Tuesday.
Notice the formatting issues on Wednesday.
Reupload on Thursday.
Notice a typo on Friday.
Reupload on Saturday.
Nominated for Booker on Sunday.

[Elle]

LOL I love it!

[Darren]

Formatting issues?!

Is he impugning me, suggesting that I don't put in hours and hours of testing to make sure there aren't any?

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

Darren wrote: "Formatting issues?!

Is he impugning me, suggesting that I don't put in hours and hours of testing to make sure there aren't any?"

Well now is your chance to write your own version in refutation of that calumny.

[Kath]

Ne'mind what GL says - tell him he's wrong!

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

Thats what I said...

[Jonathan]

I was thinking more of formatting issues due to amazon's updates to certain devices causing problems, rather than human error. So your many hours spent on formatting are entirely appreciated and accepted in my mind, Darren!

And, at least we get nominated for the Booker.
What other prizes shall we try to win with the anthology?
Bad sex award? ;)

[Kath]

Someone better writes some sex then!
(Oh I forgot - my daughter did! - I blame the parents!)

[Kath]

Just an update - we have a book of 45,000 words currently and I've got a couple more stories promised.