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Our second group anthology-Submissions to Ignite by end of September, please.
message 501:
by
Tim
(new)
Aug 28, 2012 03:09PM
Hehe, I didn't even notice that -- grope!! Anyhow, the GROUP [checks...] gave some good feedback, and I should soon have a second draft that's in pretty good shape :)
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Flash shorts. HeheSuch a filthy mind, me.
Patti (Migrating Coconut) wrote: "Flash shorts. HeheSuch a filthy mind, me."
I suspect it's something to do with the writers grope.
As Typos go that one is one to remember. At some point it's worth fitting into a book!
I always try to avoid Gypos.
I had a note book of all the REALLY stupid things customers used to say when I worked as deputy manager in a discount book shop. One of those ones where it is mainly books but also pens, calendars and toys.So some one comes in "Do you have a book- it's blue"
Um yes.
"Do you sell fireworks?"
After standing under the sign advertising calendars at the end of 2 shelves worth of calendars "Where are the calendars?"
"Do you sell books?"
I mean really. Maybe I should publish that as a satirical "sayings of the numpti-people."
I havent seen it for a while so I may well have lost the note book.
Ha ha - great ones.Actually I think somebody's beaten you to it. I'm sure I saw a book of stupid things people had asked for in bookshop on the counter at Waterstones.
Actually, it seems to be literally called Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops. Looks like Louise-Lesley has read it...
Damn I was too slow. I added that one to my reading list. I reckon something happens to people in shops, they suddenly get really stupid.
Thanks for sharing this link:)
Mind you,I think there is the other side of the coin. I have occassionally been served in bookshops by people who gave the impression that they'd abandoned evolution at the stage when microscopically grooming each other of fleas was still the social norm, and that coming down from the trees was still an option to be explored :-)I suspect it is a question of numbers, given the far larger number of people coming into shops, there will undoubtedly be a far larger number of stupid things said.
But I would still suggest that those who own or work in bookshops have a far higher level of eccentricity
Oh yes indeed:)I have been served in shops by all sorts of people missing several genes and evolutinary steps.
And yes I am eccentric
My dentist's practice is next to a betting shop. From the outside they look pretty similar. A few years ago I was sitting in the chair at the dentist's, and a man came to the open door (of the room, not the front door) and asked my dentist where he could place a bet.And yes, that's totally true!
For a moment I thought my dentist was making some money on the side. I wonder what they'd bet on? Number of screams?
The only stories like this that I know are undoubtedly apocryphal. Perhaps it's because I sew that I remember the fabric shop stories. - 'Do you keep ticking?'
(Ticking's the stuff they used to make pilloow cases from when pillow cases were stuffed with feathers.)
'Can I get felt here?'
I mean, they can't be true, can they?
Rofl.That is like my friend claiming she knows someone called Dwane Pipe.
I have a low idiot tolerance and forturned most people didnt notice when i was being sarcastic back.
Oh on another note whilst a student i worked at a late night supermarket- we had a thief come in and stuff packets of bacon and ham into his trousers- right in front of the security cameras. Security nicked him but funnily enough we didnt really want to replace the items back for sale.
Can I get felt here? That one is good.
I once got rather..shall we say merry and walked down to the elf garage to get munchies and asked for an elf in the elf shop. either the assistant didn't get the joke or didnt think it was funny.
Alexandra wrote: "Rofl.That is like my friend claiming she knows someone called Dwane Pipe..."
I once met someone called Wayne Kerr, (it might not work in all accents) I really felt sorry for the guy. That was until he proved himself to be living up to his name.
re the elf shop, I used to work in the shop on a New Forest campsite called Sandy Balls. There are only a couple of jokes you can make about places with silly names, and they get very old very quickly. My favourite reaction was to laugh so loudly and for so long that customers thought I was having some sort of psychotic episode.I did once speak to a guy on the phone called Michael Hunt. The first thing he said was "Call me Mike". I replied, "I'd really rather not..."
Oh and there was a Dickon Head at my school. He had a blonde sister called Blair Head. Parents can be really cruel.
We had a Richard Long at school. Naturally, being an English boys school, everyone was referred to last name-firstname. He never shortened his name.
Hahahan ex friend of mine webnt to schioold with someone who was called Strawberryfields Forever.
Oh and my partner knows someone called Nineteen Eightyfour.
Really you have to wonder
I had an old Guinness Book of Names when I was a child, and it talked about this issue. There was a child at one point christened Depressed Cupboard Cheeseboard.
I've heard of a Claude Balls!
http://www.largerfamilylife.com/2012/...http://www.largerfamilylife.com/2012/...
http://www.largerfamilylife.com/2011/...
Gingerlily (or Cyberlily..) wrote: "I had an old Guinness Book of Names when I was a child, and it talked about this issue. There was a child at one point christened Depressed Cupboard Cheeseboard."LOL
My friend is married to a chap who is in the army. At the time he was Major Dick Head. I kid you not. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't mind my telling you this because he's a very laid back, humorous bloke.Cheers
MTM
He'd have to be! Boy named Sue syndrome eh?
M.T. wrote: "My friend is married to a chap who is in the army. At the time he was Major Dick Head. I kid you not. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't mind my telling you this because he's a very laid back, humorous bl..."Suddenly Major Major Major Major doesn't seem so improbable!
Phnark. I think he's very happy to be a Lieutenant Colonel now.
When is this likely to be put together- do we know?
October. Hope it will be out by the end of the month.
I've emailed my short story through, hopefully people will enjoy it. I've tried for a bit of humour with this one.
I'm still not sure what to write. :( Though I do have an idea for a short ghost story - I just hope I can keep it short enough!
This was a spur of the moment idea, glad I followed it through though :-)
Awesome something to look forward to then.
We can cope with long shorts (bermudas?) D.M.
I have a very short short. One careful owner. Things are not looking inspired. Early days yet though. I'm not free to write anything until after 20th September so it will be a fairly last minute job. ;-) Cheers
MTM
We'll wait - you're worth it, as the hair adverts say!
OMG I remember bermuda shorts. I had a pait as well in my non goth days. Wow that was a long time ago:)
When you're my age it was only yesterday!
what's a pait? I googled it and got a type of fish but I don't see how that is related to non-goth stuff
pate? (as in bonce rather than pâté)
lol go away all of you. I have my wrists splints on today and I can't type properly. I also have Monday brain so i am excused:)
Ahahaha! I didn't even think about it being a typo, my confusion was genuine I wasn't taking the piss.
the one slumped on the floor - didn't make it as far as the bed...
Today it actually pained me to open my eyes and get out of bed. It took me 45 minutes.
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Pompomberry House (other topics)Lipstick and Knickers (other topics)
Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops (other topics)
The Man From U.N.D.E.A.D. - The Curious Case Of The Kidnapped Chemist (other topics)
J.R.R. Tolkien 4-Book Boxed Set: The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings (other topics)
