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119 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2012
“Customer: Where are your fictional novels.”
"Bewildered by the modes of material nature, the ignorant fully engage themselves in material activities and become attached. But the wise should not unsettle them, although these duties are inferior due to the performers' lack of knowledge." (Bhagavad Gita 3:29)
"Customer: What books could I buy to make guests look at my bookshelf and think: 'Wow, that guy's intelligent'?"
"Customer: You should consider arranging your books by size and color.
Bookseller: But then no one would be able to find anything.
Customer: Well, that doesn't matter. It’d look pretty”
“CUSTOMER: Have you read every single book in here?
BOOKSELLER: No, I can’t say I have.
CUSTOMER: Well, you’re not very good at your job, are you?”
“CUSTOMER: Do you have any books in this shade of green, to match the wrapping paper I’ve bought?”
“CUSTOMER: Where are your fictional novels?”
“CUSTOMER: Do you have any pop-up books on sex education?”
“CUSTOMER: Do you keep the pornography in the photography section? –”
“CUSTOMER: Do you have a restricted section?”
(My guess is that’s where they keep the pornography photography from the quote above)
“CUSTOMER: You know that film, Coraline?
BOOKSELLER: Yes, indeed.
CUSTOMER: My daughter loves it. Are they going to make it into a book?”
“CUSTOMER: What kind of bookshop is this?
BOOKSELLER: We’re an antiquarian bookshop.
CUSTOMER: Oh, so you sell books about fish.”
“CUSTOMER: Doesn’t it bother you, being surrounded by books all day? I think I’d be paranoid they were all going to jump off the shelves and kill me.
“CUSTOMER (having read the blurb to Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief aloud to his son): Excuse me, is this book based on a true story?
BOOKSELLER: It’s about an American teenager discovering he’s the son of Poseidon by accidentally vaporising his maths teacher.
BOOKSELLER: So, no.”
CUSTOMER: Do you have any old copies of Dickens?
BOOKSELLER: We’ve got a copy of David Copperfield from 1850 for £100.
CUSTOMER: Why is it so expensive if it’s that old?
CUSTOMER: Who wrote the Bible? I can’t remember.
CUSTOMER’s FRIEND: Jesus.
CUSTOMER: “Doesn’t it bother you, being surrounded by books all day? I think I’d be paranoid they were all going to jump off the shelves and kill me.”
CUSTOMER: Do you have this children’s book I've heard about? It’s supposed to be very good. It’s called ‘Lionel Richie and the Wardrobe.’
BOOKSELLER: Hi, can I help you at all?
CUSTOMER: I don’t give a damn about books – they bore me.
BOOKSELLER: I’m not sure you’re in the right place, then.
CUSTOMER: No, I am. I just wanted to ask what specific colour you painted your bookshelves? I love this colour. I mean, the right colour can make books look more appealing, can’t it?
BOOKSELLER: Can it?
CUSTOMER: And the smell of the paint takes away the smell of the books, too. Which is also a plus.
هلا رشحت لي كتابا
هل تريده كتابا عن القطط
لا بل أسألك لأنني أراك تقرأ كثيرا وأنا بالكاد أقرأ فواتيري و بعض أوراق العمل فأردت أن أستفيد من كونك قارئا متميزا.
فماذا تريد أن تقرأ؟
لا أعرف فأنا أصلا لا أحب القراءة. ربما قرأت يوما ما صفحتين في كتاب ثم طرحته جانبا.