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Michael Cargill
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Michael Cargill - 2nd edition of Saying Goodbye to Warsaw
I DO NOT CHEAT!!!! Good to see you here though and I can now say that I have had at least 1 good idea :-)
Oh, and everyone you should read 'Shades of Grey' and 'Shelter from Thunder' I have and they are ace!!!
I'm sure you don't cheat Emma. I don't either.
Here is one of the articles from my blog. It is one of the more popular ones;Lightbulb has no regrets as filament finally burns out
Ignite
An incandescent light bulb has stated that although he is sad that his life as a light-provider is now over, he is “more than happy with the life I led” and is proud to say that he “probably managed to prevent a rape or two”. ”This is a pretty rough area” he warned. ”Plenty of scumbags around just waiting for a prolonged period of darkness so that they can carry out their scumbaggery. Well, not on my watch they didn’t. I like to think that every lady who walked within my sphere of bulbousness felt safe the entire time.”
Describing the penultimate moment just before his filament finally fizzled out, he said that it was “not as bad as I thought it would be. I could definitely sense it happening. There was a kind of a silence and then what sounded like a train coming towards me. You know that feeling you get when you are about to burp? It was like that but with a few thousand volts of electricity running through your backside. And then that was it. It went all dark and I just stayed there wondering if I was going to get a gold watch or a certificate or something.”
Burnt
The bulb went on to say “some people really don’t understand bulbs at all, which surprises me. Once someone tried to unscrew me right after turning me off. I sat there the whole time thinking ‘don’t do it man, don’t be stupid’. All he had to do was go and check on something for a few minutes whilst I cooled down, but no. He got a nice set of burnt fingers as a result. You know what they say, more haste less speed.”
Speaking about the new energy-saving lightbulbs that are swamping the marketplace he said “yeah, those new guys are definitely the future. Guys like me, we are just dinosaurs now with our delicate little filament wobbling away every time we are moved. The traditionalists will miss us. You can tell by the way they sometimes put us up by their ear and shake us to see if we are still working that there is an emotional bond there. It’s sad but there you go.”
“I just hope I get put into the correct recycling container this evening. No way do I want to end up with the paper waste.”
Nice! I tried to read this on my tablet from facebook yesterday and the words kept on disappearing! I though you were being ironic or something.
Good morning Mike.You already have an author thread.
This one
http://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/7...
Which one would you like me to delete?
So I do. That original one didn't appear on the main list when I looked.Edit - Ah, it was on another page.
Delete the old one please!
Michael, here is the Amazon links to your booksShades of Grey http://www.amazon.co.uk/Shades-of-Gre...
Shelter from Thunder http://www.amazon.co.uk/Shelter-from-...
Slaughter in Barnaby Close http://www.amazon.co.uk/Slaughter-in-...
Diary of a Dork http://www.amazon.co.uk/Diary-Dork-Ar...
I searched for your name and there it was!You do know we haveva search function in the group, eh? :)
Patti, are you proud of me? All those links (I think) go through the group store :-)
Very proud, Emma!Have a cookie.
Oh have you read them all, Ems?Which would you suggest I read first?
I have read the first 2 on that list. Both very good. Shelter from Thunder is a great short and Shades of Grey is a collection of 3.
I would recommend reading Shelter from Thunder first. It is short and sweet and also free!http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/...
It is free on Amazon US but, annoyingly, not on Amazon UK. I have used that link where you can try to get it price matched to B&N, Sony, etc. but to no avail.
No worries Michael.I certainly don't mind paying for it!
Off to click!
Thanks, both!
Well this is good news. Shades of Grey is now in the Top 40 of the anthology chart on Amazon US:http://www.amazon.com/Shades-of-Grey-...
Oh, and Patti if you are the naughty person who bought Shelter from Thunder on Amazon UK then please, I implore you, get a refund once you have finished reading it.
It's very short and I hate the fact that people are paying for it.
I paid for it too Michael a few weeks ago! Is less than a pound and well worth it lovely x
It's okay Michael. The soup kitchen is serving tonight.;)
Yay! For shades of grey too. Meant to say that in my first post and forgot!
You two ladies are far too good to me. But you are very bad for disobeying me like that.Don't do it again, y'hear?
Michael wrote: "You two ladies are far too good to me. But you are very bad for disobeying me like that.Don't do it again, y'hear?"
Ah, but we are not so good as to let you win at scrabble ;-) x
Hmmm, never was the agony bit so appropriate!
Banana are quite stressful!
Nurse Ratched is the agony aunt world's equivalent of Batman.
Well my latest book is now done!Sort of.
Editing. Cover. Proof-reading. Title.
Can I just sit here and sulk instead of doing all the boring stuff?
Latest blog update is now up:A stag beetle reviews the Australian cricket team
http://michaelcargill.wordpress.com/2...
Michael wrote: "Latest blog update is now up:A stag beetle reviews the Australian cricket team
http://michaelcargill.wordpress.com/2..."
Funny as always Michael.
Thank you Sadie, glad you enjoyed it!The idea for that one popped into my head whilst at the gym last night.
Yo peeps.I have, by and large, finished my latest book. I have already done a fair bit of proof-reading but I would love it if anyone was willing to offer an extra set of eyes to help out.
I am not looking for people to write reviews, but for people to read through it and look for spelling mistakes, grammar silliness, etc. as well as general feedback.
You can, of course, write a review once the thing is published and I will give you a free copy of the finished article.
It is a thriller called Underneath and is about 46k words in length. Ideally you will be able to read it and get back to me in about two weeks after I send it to you, but I have never done this so don't know how reasonable that is.
I presume that Word or PDF files are the easiest to send out but can probably do mobi or epub if needed.
The synopsis will be something like this:
Look at the person sitting across from you. It doesn't matter whether it is a loved one, a friend or a complete stranger.
Look at their face. Are they smiling? Are they angry? Can you even tell?
How well do you actually know the people who are closest to you?
Have you ever seen the true person that lies underneath what you see...?
Hi Michael, I would be keen to help you out. And I have just finished a book so am looking for my next read
Right then. My latest work is now in the hands of the kind and beautiful beta readers who agreed to sift through it prior to publication. My thanks go out to them.It's actually quite strange not having a story to update or check on all of a sudden so I took the bold step of updating my blog! Yes!
Proofreading is time consuming and even exhausting work sometimes so I had been letting things slide for a bit.
Here is today's opinion piece:
Scrabble, Scrabble, toil and double word score
http://michaelcargill.wordpress.com/2...
You trying to get your confidence back? Psyching yourself up to beat us? Well do your worst. . .
If I can't beat them, I mock them.Or at least try to.
Michael, we haven't played for aaaages ! At least you do beat me, sometimes :)
Michael wrote: "If I can't beat them, I mock them.Or at least try to."
You're a real mocha!
Bit of news about my current book. I have had another proof-reader get back to me with some grammar/punctuation changes that need to be made which is good.Feedback on the story itself is very positive so, with any luck, I should be able to publish it in the next couple of weeks or so. Mind you, I said that very same thing a couple of weeks ago as well...
Anyway. Todays blog post is...
Snivelling toads really get my goat
http://michaelcargill.wordpress.com/2...
Yay Michael! I am so looking forward to reading another of yours :-) xx
Thank you Emma, I am glad that at least one person is on the edge of their seat about it!By the way, anyone else been playing Paladog? It's a nifty little Flash game that is on the PC and also available in the Apple store.
You control a little paladin dog on horseback and summon extra animals to help you. If you die, you just go back the start of the level but keep any extra XP and gold you got.
Play it here or download a free demo from the Apple store - http://armorgames.com/play/13262/paladog
Sup dudes. I have had just about all the proofreading responses I am going to get for my latest book, so it's just a case of getting the formatting done now. Which shouldn't take long.The cover is done, and the synopsis just needs a bit of tweaking. Hoping to have it out within a couple of weeks...!
All the feedback for the story has been positive, so anyone who likes thrillers should be sorted for this 'un.
I have also updated my blog...!
These days, it’s the cakes that are the real terrorists
http://michaelcargill.wordpress.com/2...
Yay Mike!I hope you don't mind being called Mike...
Just my brother is a Michael and everyone calls him Mike.
Nah, being called 'Mike' suits me fine. It's less formal and more friendly, and stuff.Mind you, most people seem to call me by my surname...
I am actually planning on making this latest book of mine free for all Goodreads mods, and anyone who works for the British NHS. The work the mods do on here has been a great help to me, so it is only fair to give something back.
Also, the Tories seem to be doing their level best to belittle the good work done by doctors and nurses (along with all the support staff, of course), so this is a little something for them.
Yay!!! Fanks Mike xx am more than happy to buy though x
No problem at all Emma, but don't you dare purchase it!You have already disobeyed me once by actually buying Shelter from Thunder, when I told you it was free.
Oh Mike that really is truly kind of you. Or Mr Cargill, rather. ;)
Please don't feel you must. I help out with the group cuz I love it, not for free books. :)
I am a natural suck up to authority, no way am I backing out of this one.
Lol! I'll still buy it before I post a review for it though. So there.
I am hoping to release my new book on Monday! This is the synopsis and the cover:Look at the person sitting across from you. It doesn't matter whether they’re a loved one, a friend, or a complete stranger.
Now look at their face. Are they happy? Are they sad? Or are they angry? Can you even tell?
How well do you actually know the people closest to you?
Have you ever seen the real person that lies just underneath what you see...?
Oooh! I like the cover too Michael. Looking forward to reading this one as I have loved your other stuff :-)
UK Amazon Kindle Forum
Books mentioned in this topic
Saying Goodbye to Warsaw (other topics)Shades of Grey (other topics)
Underneath (other topics)
We Go Again (other topics)
We Go Again (other topics)
More...
Hello. My name is Michael Cargill.
I have written and self-published seven books. I also have a blog that I update regularly with satire news items and other silly things.
I was playing Wordfeud with someone from here and she suggested I post some of the stuff from my blog in my own thread. Initially I was suspicious because she cheats, but then I realised it was actually a good idea. Thank you, kind lady who cheats, for your good idea.
I may occasionally post other relevant stuff as well. Or maybe I will forget. I don't know.
My latest book is called We Go Again.
My blog of satire - http://michaelcargill.wordpress.com/
Facebook - http://www.facebook.com/MichaelCargil...
A handy website I found that is handy for finding things - http://www.google.co.uk/