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A Solivagant on the Inselberg
There is a graphic novel of Anne Frank's diary?!?! You've got to be kidding me!
Thanks for murdering your sanity, Hallie. Now all you have to do is jump off the building and everyone will know about the fucked up shit you did.
How do you know if something that you heard was actually real?
Random memories of the past cooking to my mind. Am I finally dying?
Random memories I didn't tell anyone about.
Hallie *hugs* I love you so much.
also I'm pretty sure some ppl on twitter would think I'm terrible person because I love a band, who are really good guys but they've made some mistakes in the past so now ppl except for their fans, think their a terrible band because of their mistakes even tho they have apologized a bunch of times for their mistakes and they are trying to be better ppl. and they are actually really sweet ppl who has been there so many times for their fans and they've stopped shows for some fans that have passed out and they've went and helped a girl who passed out but the security wouldn't go and help her. they've done so many good things but ppl only see the bad in them because of some mistakes they've made and now everything is a mess with this band drama and now I'm pretty sure most ppl on twitter hate me because I love that band and most ppl from other fandoms hates fans of that band I love, and I'm a fan of that band. some ppl have even said ppl that are a fan of that band don't deserve human rights and they are even bullying other ppl that supports that band. That band I love is Palaye royale btw.
AHHH AND NOW ONE OF THE MEMBERS JUST FOLLOWED ME ON TWITTER
Spoopy Alex ~They/them~ (The Phoenix Reincarnated) (Shadow of Whales) (Bvbarmy) (aa family) (Royal council) wrote: "AHHH AND NOW ONE OF THE MEMBERS JUST FOLLOWED ME ON TWITTER"Congrats :)
Hallie we all love you. We are here for you. Don't you dare leave us so soon. Trouble us some more. A lot more. Please.
Reminisce
I'll just write out all of these because I really want sleep, but these keep bothering me. I'm hoping just having to narrate it will at least let me sleep. Although they are all from different ages and probably have no connection whatsoever, so this is going to be confusing and preposterous. If anyone's reading, now is your time to exit the page.
I don't know why, but for some strange reason, something that happened in school when I was 6 comes to my head. Back then, a girl called Sam was my best friend (I just have mentioned her multiple times in the initial pages of this journal). There was a boy in our class - notorious and a real pain. Even though I want to, I'm not going to describe his character because that was 11 years ago, and he must have changed a lot by now. So no point in judging his demeanour when he was a little kid to portray who he is.
Anyway, one day, right before the teacher could arrive, Sam and he got into a fight over something I don't remember. She was walking away when that guy clenched his fist and almost attacked her from behind. I saw this and I stepped up saying, "You can do whatever you want to me, but don't you dare lay a finger on my friend!" Well, he took it up as a challenge or something because he looked at me for a minute and then smirked. He then stepped - no, stomped on my foot. I remember that it hurt a lot, but I didn't scream and just glared at him because as long as Sam was fine, everything's fine, right? I thought he would stop, but he didn't. He continued to step on my foot so harshly that I was surprised I didn't cry. Then he went away and I just stood there thinking 'I should have beat him. I should have beat him.' What I realize now is that it hurt so much, but I never told anyone about it. Not Sam, not my parents, not the teachers. I could have and he would have learnt not to bully people, but I didn't. Well, either way, he got expelled at the end of the year and we never saw him again.
I just wonder if I'll ever do something like that for a friend again. I mean I did threaten to kill myself in front of my friend if K hurt herself, but that was different. Very, very different. But hey, at least we know I wasn't all malevolent when I was six
The second one is something that happened very recently, and it freaked me out so much.
So one day, the bus dropped me at my stop and I was walking back home from there. My stop is near my old school, so it's less than five minutes away. All I have to do is cross the road (nearly kill myself) walk about 80 steps and turn, walk about 20 steps and I'm home. Right when I was close the turning point, I heard a man say: "What's your name?" I also saw this guy sitting in a cab and looking somewhat in my direction. I just turned away confused, but then I heard the voice again. "What's your name you dirty fucking bitch?" Okay that freaked me out. I was already near the gate, and I looked back and saw that guy looking out in my direction again. It was creepy.
I was afraid I would have to tell my dad or something, but after that day, I never saw him. Well candidly, I wouldn't recognize his face, but nothing like that happened again. The whole thing just feels so weird because that side of the road is kind of a poorer region, and the way he said that..... It's just so weird.
Gah, I'll continue this later.
I had three notifications earlier, and all of a sudden, I have eleven.
I love what you did. That was brave and that was sweet and caring of you. Yes perhaps you should've spoken then or just hit him too but I think a part of u wanted to prove it to him that yoh can indeed let him do it if it meant your friend wouldn't get hurt. That was scary. If it were my sister, she would've never kept her mouth shut. She'd have totally freaked out. I guess I wouldn't been more mad at him. I don't think it was you that made him say that. He must have been going through something. And he just took it out on you. Or maybe he was just a creep.
I'm glad you said that. Took it off of your heart :)
Hallie wrote: "I had three notifications earlier, and all of a sudden, I have eleven."That's good unless u really wanna sleep 😉
Aqsa wrote: "I love what you did. That was brave and that was sweet and caring of you. Yes perhaps you should've spoken then or just hit him too but I think a part of u wanted to prove it to him that yoh can in..."That's what I think too. But he got into trouble plenty of times and like I said, was expelled, so hopefully he learnt his lesson and changed his ways.
I don't think he directed it at me either. I didn't think he was talking to me even as I walked by him, but now I don't think he was talking at all. I mean I barely even saw him and my brain just freaked out and dumped it on him because I didn't see anyone else around (which, now that I think of it, is really strange, because that place is never empty. Never.) I lost my mind that day thinking about it, and I'm still unable to put that away.
Aqsa wrote: "Hallie wrote: "I had three notifications earlier, and all of a sudden, I have eleven."That's good unless u really wanna sleep 😉"
Well, I don't think I can sleep now, though 😅
Spoopy Alex ~They/them~ (The Phoenix Reincarnated) (Shadow of Whales) (Bvbarmy) (aa family) (Royal council) wrote: "also I'm pretty sure some ppl on twitter would think I'm terrible person because I love a band, who are really good guys but they've made some mistakes in the past so now ppl except for their fans,..."Alex! Sorry I missed this post, so I didn't reply sooner. Anyway, those people are jerks and ignorant. You are an amazing person and it's a universal truth! Just because some idiots with extremely low cranial capacity think you're terrible because you like a certain band (which, I believe, is a ludicrous reason to hate on someone) doesn't make you one. I'm pretty sure you've tried to explaining to them that Palaye Royale is inherently good and we must forgive their mistake, but *sigh* these trolls..... Tell them to go get a life. You can like any band you want and support anyone you want with impunity, and they can't challenge you. I'm tempted to make a Twitter account and show them this: (view spoiler)
Yay!!!!! Which member is it? See? You're worth it! No celebrity will ever follow moi.
Kill me now, kill me! I just gathered the courage and sent V a DM for a TBH, and I regret it!!!! It's not like she will say anything bad, but I'm just freaking out for no legitimate reason.
Well, I got the French fries but I also got 'actually, you're not supposed to eat too many French fries'. Unlike other subjects, I actually pay attention during Biology, so you think I don't know that?
And on top of that, do you think I care?!
Hallie wrote: "Kill me now, kill me! I just gathered the courage and sent V a DM for a TBH, and I regret it!!!! It's not like she will say anything bad, but I'm just freaking out for no legitimate reason."She replied a couple of hours ago, and she said the first thing that comes to her mind when she thinks of me is a book because I always have one in my hands.
I still remember that. I was all lonely in the bus and this girl was socializing with all her friends and suddenly asked the everyone, "Does anyone here read?" I raised my hand and I was legit the only one. She and I were like seriously? These people here are missing out on so much. Then she asked me what I read and listed a couple of books to see if I read any she liked, and it just clicked. The truth was I had wanted to talk to her since when school started because she is one of my distant relative's best friend and his mum used to talk about her a lot, but I was really shy to talk to her. Fortunately, she was an extrovert and soon we realized that we had a lot in common. I mean if she had not asked that, I might have never talked to her ever.
^ Not sure why I wrote all of that. Ignore me.
What happened to the world when I was sniffing glue?
You were sniffing glue. . ? I mean, what would I say, I might absolutely love the smell of permanent markers. . . heh.
I spent all of year 6 and 7 singing a couple of songs, but an old friend posts herself singing the same songs impromptu and she's a 10000 times better than me.
jellybean wrote: "You were sniffing glue. . ? I mean, what would I say, I might absolutely love the smell of permanent markers. . . heh."You don't even want to know what I've been doing....
![Jaxon(Jax)[They-He] | 4642 comments](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1749715398p1/46156450.jpg)
So, doesnt matter if someones better at it, if you enjoy singing or singing that song then sing
Hallie wrote: "I spent all of year 6 and 7 singing a couple of songs, but an old friend posts herself singing the same songs impromptu and she's a 10000 times better than me."Anywho..... Yeah, I'm jealous as fuck.
But I can't be too jealous of her because I am luckier than her.
And for that, I only sympathize and hope for the best.
Raven(Hopefully can change my name to Eris)~They/them, Chikorita, music lover, anime lover, Moon Demon Company soldier, I refuse to use female pronoun wrote: "So, doesnt matter if someones better at it, if you enjoy singing or singing that song then sing"I try, but I hate hearing myself.
Hallie wrote: "jellybean wrote: "You were sniffing glue. . ? I mean, what would I say, I might absolutely love the smell of permanent markers. . . heh."You don't even want to know what I've been doing...."
Why can I relate all the time? I've been reading roleplays that I've done months ago during school when I should be doing work. I probably need a good dose of "jelly needs to pay attention" medication.
I hate hearing myself as well honestly but I enjoy singing
jellybean wrote: "Hallie wrote: "jellybean wrote: "You were sniffing glue. . ? I mean, what would I say, I might absolutely love the smell of permanent markers. . . heh."You don't even want to know what I've been ..."
Candidly, I freaked for a second when I read the first sentence. Whew! No one can blame you for getting distracted by your roleplays :)
Raven(Hopefully can change my name to Eris)~They/them, Chikorita, music lover, anime lover, Moon Demon Company soldier, I refuse to use female pronoun wrote: "I hate hearing myself as well honestly but I enjoy singing"I love singing (it's one of my top five professions to do), but the way I sing is ughhhh!
Practice makes perfect
You can't make a rotten apple ripe.
Hallie wrote: "jellybean wrote: "Hallie wrote: "jellybean wrote: "You were sniffing glue. . ? I mean, what would I say, I might absolutely love the smell of permanent markers. . . heh."You don't even want to kn..."
Woah. Is that a compliment I hear? Make it go away! Make it go away now! God my first roleplay that I did with my favorite character made me barf out of pure hatred. I wish I could go back and roleplay it all over again and actually try and write it well. God, I loved those days. . .
But! No need to worry about me! I'm more worried about you right now mate. :)
Hallie wrote: "You can't make a rotten apple ripe."^ I don't know where I got that from, but I hope they frying my stupid brain and send it into outer space after I die.
jellybean wrote: "Hallie wrote: "jellybean wrote: "Hallie wrote: "jellybean wrote: "You were sniffing glue. . ? I mean, what would I say, I might absolutely love the smell of permanent markers. . . heh."You don't ..."
*compliments come closer and hug Jellybean* Ehee! *looks at Jellybean's old Roleplays* Uhhhhh these are a million times better than mine will ever be, so don't worry!
Oh crap!
Albeit I do think I might have sniffed too much glue for one day because I'm acting really weird......
Hallie wrote: "jellybean wrote: "Hallie wrote: "jellybean wrote: "Hallie wrote: "jellybean wrote: "You were sniffing glue. . ? I mean, what would I say, I might absolutely love the smell of permanent markers. . ...."*Jelly falls to the ground wheezing* I don't like complimentsssssss ahhhhhhhhh.
False! False! The only part of my roleplays I liked were with Azetho! MAKE THE OTHERS BEGONE MATE. BEGONE. THEY SUCK. AH!
it's personal
Books mentioned in this topic
Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982 (other topics)Lore (other topics)
The Glass Menagerie (other topics)
The Great Gatsby (other topics)
Orlando (other topics)
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I can't really change anything in my routine. It's pretty rigid, and I can't do anything to it right now.