it's personal discussion
300+ views
>
A Solivagant on the Inselberg
message 51:
by
Hallie
(new)
Jan 09, 2017 02:48AM
reply
|
flag
Record of the day
Today,
• We were supposed to have 6 free period, but not all of them were free because some other teachers came
• I stammered like hell during my reading test
• Ran across the ground twice in a running race, because I actually qualified the first round. I came second! I lost in the semi-finals, though, but I didn't expect any more.
• Had major depression and anxiety attacks at school
Why am I still alive.....?
Just why am I still alive?? Just why? Why can't I just drop dead? Label it as heart attack. I don't care if I become a huge best selling author or an amazing singer or not - I just want to die now. I don't care how. I just don't want to live! I'm so lonely - everyone, literally everyone is ignoring me! And when I'm not ignored by my parents, I'm being pushed down into the mud by them. No one would care if I was dead. Okay, maybe some of my online friends might be worried, but no one would care in real life: not my mum, not dad, not my brother who I've always hoped would be my best friend forever. I love him whether he has a billion flaws or not. I can't say the same for my parents, though. I know I shouldn't hate them - a part of me wants to not hate them, but the rest of me wants to hate them so much that when I grow up, I'm just going to cut all relations with them. That's my mind about then now. And I it. I hate myself for being so malevolent about them. Then there are my friends who seem to enjoy life better without me around. So maybe I'll just stay over if their lives. Forever.
*hugs Hallie* I love you Hallie <33333333
Story Time!
Let me tell you the story of a little girl who wished to be free forever.
Once there was a girl named Hallie. She wished to be a star shining in the vast expanse of the night sky. She believed that the sky's main purpose was to hold all the stars. However, she wanted to be different; she wanted to be a shooting star. It was a comet that she had never seen, Hailey's coment, that inspired her to be different.
Sadly, Hallie suffered from a simple but significantly troublesome problem knows as "social anxiety". It dominated her life, paralysing her from doing a lot of things she wanted to do, but could only watch others do.
She was once a girl who respected her parents and believed that they would be her everything. Well, that was how naïve she was. As she grew up, she realised that her parents cared only about her grades at school. It was only that. They even put her grades over her health. And even when she did get good grades, she didn't receive anything she expected. Perhaps a little bit of felicitations? None.
Now, her mother loved her son over her daughter. Hallie sometimes felt that her mother hated her. This was because she was always favouring him while boasting about her children before her relatives. Hallie couldn't help but notice that her mother had encouraged her brother to try out extra-curriculars, but never her. In fact, she even said on the occasion of the prize distribution day, " You don't have any prizes, do you?" with a rather negative tone.
Then the pressure got bad. Hallie got tensed and dysphoric. She started becoming suicidal. She didn't want to do anything anymore - screw being a shooting star, she wanted to be a star of the dead - you know, the ones that look over you from the sky. Everyone was telling the same thing. And finally, she began to loathe herself.
"I hate myself!" She told to herself.
"I hate myself!"
"I hate myself!"
"I hate myself!"
"I hate myself!"
"I hate myself!"
"I hate myself!"
"I hate myself!"
"I hate myself!"
"I hate myself!"
"I hate myself!"
"I hate myself!"
"I hate myself!"
"I hate myself!"
"I hate myself!"
"I hate myself!"
"I hate myself!"
She told it over and over again until she believed it even more than she believed that she existed. One fine day, when the rest of the world was busy with something else, she walked over to the kitchen, took out the insect repellant, and tried to repel the monster inside her.
The world did not miss her even for a millisecond.
Hallie....I'm so sorry....I love you and care for you a lot....always remember that.....*hugs*
Kavy *begins to weep* I feel so empty....
*hugs Hallie* it's okay Hallie.....I'm here....we're in this together.....
I screwed up, Kavy. I really did! Badly! I really just screwed up my life!
This is different. I've done things like this before, but this time I crossed the limit.
Hallie wrote: "I screwed up, Kavy. I really did! Badly! I really just screwed up my life!"Hallie wrote: "This is different. I've done things like this before, but this time I crossed the limit."
What happened Hallie?
I screwed up my tests, and they count for final credit. I doubt I'll even pass! I can't believe I just wasted ALL my time in Christmas break, and I don't know, I have zero motivation to study. Every time I pick up a book, I can't focus; I get depressed.... I don't know.... I don't even know if any of this makes sense.
I...... *sighs* You should see me typing this. I haven't sighed the number of times I sighed in the last 2 minutes my entire lifetime!
Personal Survey Time
Stolen from my amazing friend, Kavy
What's your name?
Hallie
How about your age?
15
Gender?
Female
Birthday?
August 9
Height?
5'4" I think. I measured in centimeters, so I should be around 164 cm
Weight?
96.5 lbs
Zodiac sign?
Leo
Birthstone?
Peridot (These questions are easy to answer, because Kavy already did it for me xD Good thing we're both born in the same month :D)
Eye color?
Dark brown
Hair color/style
Black/long
Current fitness?
I er, don't know?
Skin tone?
Hm, please don't ask this!
Romance Section (This is going to have hopeless answers)
Sexual orientation?
Straight - I think
Current relationship status?
How does single and don't want anyone sound?
How many relationships have you been in, and could you give a brief description of them?
0 and proud :)
What is your favorite feature of your preferred gender?
Well, being a girl does suck sometimes, but we're no lesser than men! And we're not jerks like a lot of boys!
Are you a virgin?
Yes
How often do you go on dates with your partner?
Um, I don't have a partner?
If you aren't already, do you hope to marry the person you are with?
I'm not with anyone, but the thought of marrying is ludicrous!
If you aren't in a relationship, then do you have a crush on someone?
Nope!
Where is your favorite spot to be kissed?
Um..
How old were you when you had your first kiss?
Never been kissed.
Seven Deadly Sins Section
Would you consider yourself a glutton?
Haha no! Quite the contrary!
A sloth?
Generally no, but I can be lethargic sometimes.
Lustful?
Nope
Envious?
Yes!
Wrathful?
Yes! Yes! And yes!
Greedy?
No to a larger extent. I'm better at being the selfless person.
Prideful?
Oh, yes! Even though I diss myself 23/7
"Naughty" Section
Ever done crack?
No.
Smoked weed?
No.
Done meth?
No.
How about tried speed?
No.
Heroine?
No.
Shrooms?
No.
Do you often drink?
Not yet, but let me confess, I really do want to dink now.
Do you watch any form of pornography?
No.
Ever stolen something?
I did once steal some money from my brother's wallet when I was 5, but I told him later, and he explained that stealing was bad. He did let me keep it, though. Actually, he threw in a little more. Is that considered stealing?
Ever abused or bullied someone?
No.
Ever been arrested?
No.
Ever cheated on someone?
Nooo.
Have you ever gotten alcohol poisoning?
No.
Have you ever abused over-the-counter drugs?
No.
Education Section
Are you still in school?
Yes, unfortunately :/
If so, then what grade?
10
Your best subject in school?
English, I guess.
Worst subject in school?
Math with all certainty
Did you ever drop out of school?
No!
If you are in college, then what is your major?
I'm a little schoolgirl :(
Family Section
Describe your relationship with your parents
It's actually pretty complicated. I've stopped liking and respecting them, but pretend I still love them and all. Oh, and I've got something planned for them -_-
Relationship with your siblings?
I adore him even though he can be a pain sometimes!
With your family in general?
Er...
Ever experienced the death of someone close to you?
Someone close? My dad's parents are both dead, but I don't miss them. Now is anyone convinced that I'm a cold-hearted person?
Life Section
Do you have a lot of friends?
Nope.
Would you consider yourself a loner?
Yes! I don't consider myself a loner; I am a loner.
Briefly describe your childhood.
Amazing! A hell a lot better than now.
Best aspect of life right now?
Goodreads, music, books
Worst aspect?
Everything excluding the three from the previous question
Religious Section
Do you have a religion?
Eh?
Do you believe in a god or a form of intelligent design?
No!
Do people need to live by morals or just to have fun?
I'll have o think about this.
"Life Sucks" Section
Do you have any allergies?
Yeah :/ But no one believes them, so who cares?
Addictions?
I'm addicted to Goodreads..
Health problems?
Depression, anxiety, social anxiety, something that's bad and seems more like paranoia to me
Permanent injuries/scars?
The nail of my left middle finger is, um, different from the rest. Its to remind me about a small incident back in year 3. And, my heart is broken (if I have one)
Favorites Section
Color?
Purple, blue
Style of music?
Pop
Food?
None
Drink?
Tea (?)
Animal?
I'm actually scared of animals...
Plant?
What are these questions supposed to mean?!
Book?
To Kill a Mockingbird, Harry Potter, Divergent etc.
Movie?
The Shawshank Redemption
Song?
Too many, but most of them are by Ariana Grande
Album?
Let me think
Band?
Hm, Poets of the Fall? Nightwish? Within Temptation?
Sport?
Badminton?
Candy?
Loliepops!
Weather?
I don't think I like any weather.
Time of day?
I don't know.... The time when I drop dead
Smell?
The smell of books
What was the last…
Movie you saw?
The Mask
Book you read?
All the Bright Places
Thing you ate?
My breakfast - pancakes
Thing you drank?
Plain water
Piece of art you did?
Maybe a glass painting?
Time you cried?
A few minutes ago
Have you ever…
Punched someone?
I don't really remember, but knowing me, I might have.
Kissed, or done more with, someone of the same gender?
Nope.
Thrown up on someone?
No - well, hope I never threw up on Mum when we were travelling.
Been thrown up on?
No.
Been to a rave?
No.
Danced on a table?
No! Who made these questions?!
Had a hangover?
No.
Flashed someone?
No.
Sneezed more than three times in a row?
Yes.
Hugged a zebra?
No! What's with these questions?!
Seen a ghost?
Nope, since I don't believe they exist.
Talked to an inanimate object?
Lots of time!
Evelyn wrote: "Hallie wrote: "Personal Survey TimeStolen from my amazing friend, Kavy
What's your name?
Hallie
How about your age?
15
Gender?
Female
Birthday?
August 9
Height?
5'4" I think. I measured in c..."
Just finished the full thing, and ????? It was more entertaining than my idiot craft teacher's face!
There's something hilarious on my journal? I must be on the wrong thread!
That's the second joke of the year! People say I'm an alien with the emotions of a robot :/
Well those ppl are idiots, Hallie and don't let them get to you cause you are an amazing person
Well, I actually do act mechanical sometimes. The truth is, I am trying to become unemotional.
What on earth is going on here????!!!!!Edit: In the third episode for I don't know what sorrow, but I found one thing a little funny.
So over the past few days, my "best friends" have been neglecting me a lot because they got a new topic to speak about. Okay, I do admit that I stay away from them sometimes when I'm really down, but they don't really bother, so guess it's avoiding each other. The problem is that when I'm with them, they're always talking about Boys Over Flowers and try to tell me that it's really funny. I don't get a single thing what's funny in that.
H came to me and said, "Hal, in BOF, when he gets humiliated, his friends laugh at him," and began to laugh. I put on my unemotional face and said, "Not very different here." And then she started laughing crazy - when I say crazy, I mean really, really crazy. She almost rolled on the floor. I quietly asked what's wrong with her, and she was like, "She kicked him!" My expression looked like
I've heard that at least 10 times every single day since she began to watch it. S has already seen it, so they're both always talking about it. And I stay
Hence, I decided to watch it. I actually have a plan: feign innocence and pretend I don't care, but I've actually watched it, and break them off if they try to talk about it. Okay, I know this sounds preposterous, but I don't know how to explain it, and I've got my own reasons.
I watched two episodes last night, and I wasted two precious hours of my life! I even saw the part that they found hilarious: the infamous "she kicked him" scene, and guess what, I found the birds flying in the sky more funny! I actually looked like this (replace beautiful Emma Watson with ugly Hallie)
Either they're being too ridiculous, or the scene is actually hilarious and I'm in fact a very um, unemotional person who has no sense of humour whatsoever.
The Dream I Had Was A Nightmare!
I had a bad dream the night before. I couldn't really sleep well after that :/ It was so strange, so terrifying to me, and moreover, it felt real. It felt as though that could really happen. And I hope not!
Of course, I have no remembrance on how it got there, but it was one fine day at school: I remember clearly that there were actually a lot of people. Both my friends were late than usual - I came to the conclusion because I'm so stringent about going to school almost an hour early that I can't even dream of being even five minutes late. I have but that happened because my Mum was at her parents' place, and Dad wouldn't let me go alone to school, but he took a lot of time getting dressed :/ That's the only way, but it was definitely mum who dropped me in my dream. Besides, there were more people at school than the number who come at the time I do. So basically they were late, and I was impatient. I saw S carry H and she set her on the railing near the park in our school. H wasn't moving at all; not even breathing. Everyone knew it - she was dead. I kept staring at her body with tears in my eyes. It's a dream, I know, but even after I woke up, I know that I was the one responsible for her death. I don't know how, or why, but I know it was me who had killed her. It was my fault that she was dead.
The rest of the dream was senseless: H began to walk even though she was dead, and then her ghost appeared when a girl who she always drops at school touched her. Then out of nowhere, President Obama appeared! I don't know what relation he has with this, but he was just there. And then I sarcastically asked H's ghost whether she could re-appear if humans touched her, and she replied that she could. Then Obama and were surprised and tried dealing with that rationally (you know, I'm actually relieved that it wasn't Trump who had decided to appear. Now that would be an even more frightening nightmare #I'msoproudthatI'mnotanAmericanwhileTrumpisthePresidentthere I have nothing against Americans; I'm just against Trump)
And then that ghost began hanging out with us! Even our teacher allowed her to stand in the line with us!
Letting aside the second half of the dream, which, I candidly agree, is very absurd, but what disturbs me is that feeling of me being responsible for her death. It feels like I might even do it in real life, but I really don't want to.It's just.... I can't explain what I feel exactly, but it just makes me feel like a bad person - like I'm worthless, and this is all I'm capable of. It's *sighs and moves out of the page before she deletes this post*
*hugs* Hallie you are not worthless, no matter what anyone says, you are worth more than gold *hugs* I love you Hallie
No matter how many times you say it, I'll never agree to that.
You're not nuts!And that's a lie, unless it's opposite day!
Evelyn wrote: "Ok ok.....so I don't believe it.So....
You are an amazing friend.
You are an amazing friend.
You are an amazing friend.
You are an amazing friend.
You are an amazing friend.
You are an amazing ..."
Evelyn wrote: "You are not worthless.
You are not worthless.
You are not worthless.
You are not worthless.
You are not worthless.
You are not worthless."
I SECOND THAT
Evelyn wrote: "Gosh!! It's not opposite day!!!!Else you're not nuts would have been a lie too!!"
Well, if it isn't opposite day (since you rightly pointed out that you aren't nuts), then me being amazing/not worthless is a lie.
Princess Kavy of Books ~So everybody come on~ wrote: "Evelyn wrote: "Ok ok.....so I don't believe it.So....
You are an amazing friend.
You are an amazing friend.
You are an amazing friend.
You are an amazing friend.
You are an amazing friend.
You ..."
Downvote!
Evelyn wrote: "Hallie wrote: "Princess Kavy of Books ~So everybody come on~ wrote: "Evelyn wrote: "Ok ok.....so I don't believe it.So....
You are an amazing friend.
You are an amazing friend.
You are an amazi..."
Downvotes!!! x Infinity
Tears in the Night
I spent last night crying. Why? Well, my Science teacher wanted another experiment aside from the two we've already done for Science, and she decided to tell yesterday that we have to submit it tomorrow. At home, my mum was frowning about me not studying, and my brother tried to figure out one for me while I simply turned the pages of my textbook to pretend as though I was studying.
I might have posed sad because my brother kept asking why I looked like all the air came out of me (inside joke in our house xD), and even gave me a hug! Finally! Someone noticed!
However, in the end, I had no project to show. The internet was useless; he couldn't finish the robot since he didn't have enough parts; the simple pendulum he liked so much showed the gravitational force of the earth as 11. something instead of 9.8 :/ Hence the crying!
Today morning, though, I got an idea. I took along my experiment which had a picture to measure blind spots. Of course, that requires some calculation, but I skipped all that, and will explain about blind spots in the human eye to my teacher since we have it in our book. Fingers crossed! Hope she'll accept!
To-do List
• Sterilize my Swiz Army penknife
• Study at least something
• Create characters at Harry Potter roleplay group
•Read Double Down
• Read The Book Jumper
• Read Drop Everything And Read BOTM
•Poison myself
• Research on mental disorders, Dignitas, and psychological facts
• Forcefully watch BOF
• Formulate a plan to transform into someone new
It did! Well, sort of, but I'm not going to be in trouble any more!
But I do need to write a synopsis, and do a small change tomorrow because I have no time for it at home :/
Hehe I'll need some of that because Lady Luck is frowning at me.
Yep, the evil smile that people give when they see their nemesis suffer.
*looks around to see who Evelyn is talking to* Okay, guess I am luck to have you! :D And you're the awesome person here!By the way, I did accept your friend request, didn't I? My phone might have inadvertently done something even though I pressed accept.
I'm not a really great friend, but I'm honoured to be friends with you :)
Very true!!! I make a bad human being on the whole thanks to pathetic socialisation skills!
Time to Kill
Okay, so today started out bad! I was actually hoping for an okay day, but guess what, my school decided to ruin all our lives!
My class teacher walked in, took the attendance, and then called out a couple of names and told them to stand up. Mine was there, too, and so were H and S. We all kept looking around at each other, and then she told us to take our bags. We were so confused and began questioning why. She said it more firmly, and told us to go outside. We were like, "Teacher, at least tell us where you're taking us!" The next minute, we were all out. That's when we noticed that the other section had people coming out as well.
To explain, the year is divided into two divisions: Year 10 A and B. I'm a proud person from B! And then the teachers told the selected people from B to go to A! Apparently in a stupid meeting with the idiot secretary yesterday, he was disappointed with our performance in mock exams (hey! We had no time to prepare, and they expect 100 in everything!), and so he decided to shuffle the classes and put the "bright" students in A and the "dull" in B! That is no way of judging students! No one is dull, and no one is bright! We're all equal! I might be sorted into the class with the "intelligent" ones, but they judged that based on the grades we get, and let me tell you what, grades signify nothing! They don't show that anyone is smart or not.
So now we have a different class teacher! Our annoying English teacher! I do admit my favourite subject is English and my least favourite is Math, which was taken by my actual class teacher, but almost everyone despise the English teacher - even if she likes me because I'm er, good at English (I might have accidentally got a perfect score this time, so her liking to me might have increased a bit, but I'm actually ashamed to admit that). So here I am, frowning at this class because:
1. It isn't my class.
2. The ambience is completely different.
3. The people are not my real classmates.
4. Class B has better people in it.
5. Class B might be the worst class in the school, but even though we broke a window just before this shuffling, we still have the best unity in the whole world!
It's so different here, and so saddening. I can't seem to understand a thing that the teachers are saying! I most certainly cannot study from here! In fact, most of us are at the verge of tears! I want to go back there - with my amazing classmates who are the perfect people for me! I wouldn't be surprised if we all vandalized and boycotted everything at the school for this!
For now, I'm having lunch in my class, B, and I'm definitely going to hug the others left there! I want back Sam! I miss her sitting beside me and cracking jokes and commenting and telling me stories. I miss her catchphrases - and telling back my own catchphrases to her, too. I miss the annoying boys who prank others, behave rudely and always naughty. That's then only good thing in my school! And the secretary is killing it! Well, mind you, next time he comes here, he's going to have two options:
1. Let us go back to our respective classes and settled this diplomatically
2. Forbid us from doing that, and face the wrath of us, and even lose the reputation of the school
No, we will not do anything to bring glory to the school. In fact, we'll shame it so much that they will regret having done this! They will pay!
Hallie wrote: "Evelyn wrote: "Hallie wrote: "Princess Kavy of Books ~So everybody come on~ wrote: "Evelyn wrote: "Ok ok.....so I don't believe it.So....
You are an amazing friend.
You are an amazing friend.
Y..."
Upvote x infinity to the power of 10000000
Peter wrote: "I'm ENFP. We're almost opposites xD"I'm infp
Princess Kavy of Books ~So everybody come on~ wrote: "Hallie wrote: "Evelyn wrote: "Hallie wrote: "Princess Kavy of Books ~So everybody come on~ wrote: "Evelyn wrote: "Ok ok.....so I don't believe it.So....
You are an amazing friend.
You are an am..."
Downvote x infinity to the power of infinity
Upvote x infinity to the power of the power of infinity
Princess Kavy of Books ~So everybody come on~ wrote: "Upvote x infinity to the power of the power of infinity"Downvote x infinity to the power of the power of infinity +1
How people break other people?
This is what my status says today: If you don't understand a person, you end up breaking them into a million pieces; crushing them under your weight; tearing them apart; and ripping out the hopes in them.
I've got 4 likes and two comments saying that's it's true and beautifully written, but the reason why I posted that status was all thanks to a siblings fight.
Yesterday, during lunch, I came a little late because I was studying, and wanted to sit at my usual seat next to my brother though mum set my lunch opposite to him. Mum told that I could shift if I wanted and moved my plate over, but then this brother of mine began telling me to sit opposite to him. He pushed the plate back while I went to get a glass of water, and needed some help from Mum to stop him from gripping my plate hard. The reason why I didn't want to sit opposite to him is that I find the way the rest of my family - scratch that - almost everyone I know east very disgusting. Well, candidly, I'm the odd person eating differently, but I'm so particular about keeping things clean and eating without noise and stuff (this is hard to explain!), but the rest of them could care least about that. They really don't understand that I feel sick just watching them eat. Yes, I've thrown up my food multiple times seeing my dad and mum eat in the most disgusting way ever. If I sat opposite to him, then I'd see the way he eats (and he has tomatoes, and I've got an irrational allergy towards tomatoes that people again don't understand). I did not want to see my lunch after swallowing it! That was one instance where they didn't understand me and left me sad.
Mum went out earlier in the morning while I was having a bath, and when I came back, I was in a happy mood. I was ordered to study by the time she was back, but I decided to listen to one song in the kitchen because I had been studying for hours! I was really tired, and even when I said that I wanted a break, Mum refused to let me. I had barely reached the pre-chorus of "Faded" and my brother came along and saw me. He was like, "Go study!" and kept staring at me. I told him to go away but he kept staring at me very um, abnormally. When I moved, he moved along with me and blocked my path. Okay..... So since he didn't look like he'd go away, I thought I'd get out some candy for both us from the refrigerator, but he stood next to the door, and prevented me from opening it. I gently tried to push him away TWICE but he pushed me and kept standing and staring at me. So I got mad and pushed him more hardly. Hey! I wasn't going to hurt him by opening the refrigerator; in fact, I was going to offer him some candy, too. But he pushed me harder, and tears started rolling down my cheeks. I didn't want to cry, but tears of anger left my eyes. What did I do to him? In my defence, I pushed him gently and I wouldn't have done that at all if he hadn't acted eccentric. So I got mad and hit him on his head because that was the only place I got hit him. And, for real, I did not hit him hard; it was more little a pat with slight force, but then that boy sadistically hit my head rather hard thrice. He stared at me for a while longer, and then left. After that, neither did I have the mood to listen to songs, nor eat the candy. I couldn't even study; all I could do was think about how he just didn't get that I wanted a break and I don't like being stared at. For crying out loud, I'm his sister! I'd forgive a stranger if they stared at me like that, but my own brother.
Later he took out the candy himself, and by the time, I had stopped crying. He took out two pieces and offered me one. I could feel River Thames flowing from my eyes again even though I didn't want it to. I refused to take it, so he left it on me. I think he did that only because I would have done that. I try to offer everyone my stuff even if I love it a lot, so while my parents term him the "selfish" one, and me the "selfless". Don't get the wrong idea: I can be selfish at times, too, but I like sharing. And if I don't want to, I'll tell why I don't want to. Since I hadn't eaten it even after some time, he took it back and ate it himself. Now that's something I wouldn't have done.
And when mum came back, I went to the washroom. So she asked him where I was, and he replied that I was cross. Mum was like, " You made her cry???? Idiot!" When I came out, she asked me what happened, and I said that he was a jerk. So this boy acted cool and said, "She hit me, so I hit her back!" Hey! I was not the one who started this! He made it sound like I have no better work than randomly going and hitting him. Even if I do that, it's as a joke, and barely painful. It would be more like a pat because I don't hurt my brother (only him) unless absolutely required. I actually had to explain what he did, and then Mum frowned at him and said, "I knew it! You'd do something like that! She wouldn't hit you unless you're at fault!" Not entirely true xP But in this case, he was simply trying to pass the buck on me. I couldn't help but associate this with yesterday, and posted that states.
No one's ever going to understand me. It took me years to understand that, but it's breaking me, and I'm going to continue suffering until I find someone who can understand me, and perhaps explain that to my family and friends, too. I know I'm different from others, but that could be related to other things. I could be OCD, which is why I freak over arrangement of my books. I could have an eating disorder which is why I'm so thin and have plastic taste buds in my tongue. I'm not saying I could definitely have this without any diagnosis; I mean, there are small chances that I am, and maybe something like that is the explanation to why I'm not like them.
I'm sorry Hallie.....I know how you feel about no one understanding....my parents know about my depression and anxiety but they don't understand....and they never will understand me....:(
My parents don't know, and even if I try to tell them, they won't bother to understand -_- We're pretty much on the same boat here, and that's frustrating me. Me having this situation - acceptable; but you facing it too - not good!
:( *hugs* the only ppl that I can actually open up to about this stuff is you guys and my friends on GR :( irl I have a hard time opening up about my feelings
it's personal
Books mentioned in this topic
Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982 (other topics)Lore (other topics)
The Glass Menagerie (other topics)
The Great Gatsby (other topics)
Orlando (other topics)
More...
