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A Solivagant on the Inselberg
All this is making me think about my future. I don't want to get married or have kids. I don't want to be anything like my parents.
I think I'm going to go back to hurting myself again..... :/ Screw you, Life!
To-do List
My exams end tomorrow! Mum told me that I could turn the house upside down after my exams, so I'll be turning her life upside down. So at 12:30 p.m., a bell rings and the teacher says: "Time's up!" She will go around and collect all the papers, and I'll hand over mine the last since I'm the last person in that class (I'm so glad even though I always get the question papers the last! At least I don't have to hand it over first!) And then I'm officially a free bird until, I don't know, when's my next exam again? Who cares?
So the to-do list:
•Try to successfully kill self
• Watch all that I want to watch
• Read books (I've got around 7 with me!)
• Write reviews
• If Mum keeps her word, join computer class (Please Dad! I really want to go!)
• Online studies
• Try to make a mini stellarium
• Music! Write songs!
• Learn lyrics of Japanese songs
• Of course, participate in every single writing contest here.
• Tumblr up!
• Wattpad need more!
• Work on Witenberg Academy
• Make new group
• Roleplay all the way!
• Practice singing
• Work on template making and images
• Work on Drop Everything And Read
~ Challenges
~ Masthead an profile picture change
~ Make it more active
~ Organization
~ Something different for BOTM
~ If challenges are a hit, then Hall of Fame
~ Group videos
• Help make Rainbow Support Group! more active
And that's all I remember right now. It's rather long already!
Random thing but I noticed that you wanted to watch Death Note as well?
Yes, I do :) A couple of my classmates would love it if I watched it, and it does sound interesting to me.
I've actually read the first 3 of Death Note because a friend of mine as well said he really liked the manga and suggested I read it. I've watched probably the first 5-7 episodes of the actual show on Netflix.
Well, how did you like those? Does it look like it's worth spending time over?
The only other manga I've read was Naruto and it was probably the 40th issue or whatever but I genuinely enjoyed reading the manga, and the show, although its the same thing except characters are moving and speaking, I think you should probably watch it as well. For me, helps with becoming more immersed in the manga.
I've watched a couple of episodes from Naruto. My brother has the whole of Death Note and around 50 episodes of Naruto, and I doubt my library has them, so I'm going for the anime. The last time I checked I found only one manga that I liked, and the rest were all fluffy high school love stories O_O
Haha, I don't pay much attention for manga overall but if given, I don't mind reading it as well. Plus, my older half-brother used to love Naruto and the show so I always noticed it but never fully watched or read the manga. Didn't care to I guess, but Death Note might force me to rethink that as well.
Crashing, hit a wall
Right now I need a miracle
Hurry up now, I need a miracle
Stranded, reaching out
I call your name but you're not around
I say your name but you're not around
~ Don't Let Me Down, Chainsmokers ft. Daya
Word of the Day
Insipid: (Adjective)
Lacking flavor or zest; not tasty. Lacking qualities that excite, stimulate, or interest; dull
KAVY!!!! :) Welcome back to my mundane journal!
Nail of Plastic
I'm saving a larger post about my crappy life now for tomorrow, but for now, I'm just going to write about an injury that happened when I was almost 8.
So our school was building a new library, auditorium, and fixing the girls' lavatory, so they converted one of the boys' lavatory into the girls' lavatory temporarily. One day, my best friend then, Sam, and I went there almost at the end of the lunch break. It was almost deserted. I got into one of the cubicles while Sam waited from me outside my cubicle. When I tried to get out, the lock of the door was jammed. I was frightened, but somehow managed to open it. Sam realised that something was wrong with the lock too when she heard me struggling, so from that day on, we decided that we won't lock the door, but hold it for our friends.
A couple of days later, the whole clique when there. While Sam was holding the door, I stood outside to wait for someone else who had gone in. It was rather crowded that day, and I can't remember what exactly happened there - I couldn't remember even after the incident. Suddenly I felt a sharp pain from my left hand, and when I tried to lift it up to see, it wasn't on my side. Instead, my index and middle finger was between the hinges of the door. I screamed for Sam to let go of the door, and everyone freaked. I was actually going to wash my fingers and go back to class since it was going to be our first lab class that day, but Sam pulled me all the way down and told the teacher.
So the nail of my middle finger broke. Everyone in my class visited me at the nurse's office while I waited for my mum to come pick me up. The blood turned from red to black. It was disgusting. I was scared: I was afraid that my parents would scold. I was mentally preparing for the scoldings. I wanted my brother with me, but he was in another school far away. My parents arrived - both of them. I don't know why my dad was there, but he was at home as well. They didn't scold me. Actually it was the contrary. Then they took me to a reputed hospital (yeah, that's my dad. He won't go for anything less than the best.), and ugh! I don't even know how to describe it. It hurt at badly. My chest was hurting.
I had to have a surgery and had a plastic nail for a while before that came out (that was another nightmare itself!), but now, only the nail of my middle finger is different from the rest. It helps me differentiate my left from my right by just feeling it, but when you look at it, it looks so... Different. When I'm cutting it, it's different. When my brother came back home, I held out my bandaged fingers, and he almost screamed. Even today, he's scared to touch it even though it doesn't hurt.
The thing is, I don't feel that kind of pain anymore.
Nope, I don't. And most of my relatives are in Wales, so I don't have to meet them ^_^ I was supposed to go to my dad's relatives place (how is they guy related to me again?), but yay it got cancelled!
Agnostic atheist here too! *high five* My family doesn't know that except my brother so I'm safe. And my brother's an atheist, too, so I have enough confidence to say that you're relatives are absolutely irrational!
Oh no, I'm listening to Faded in repeat. I've got some bad emotions coming up here.
Masi wrote: "Yeah They talk about we don't follow culture or whatever bull they say. I can't understand religion that much though."I can't understand religion either. Hence, nihilist came up on my résumé. Is everyone else in your family believers of God?
Masi wrote: "Hallie wrote: "Masi wrote: "Yeah They talk about we don't follow culture or whatever bull they say. I can't understand religion that much though."I can't understand religion either. Hence, nihili..."
Wow! I've only got my brother. My dad is superstitious (-_-) and my mum is all about God. What about your friends?
Masi wrote: "Hallie wrote: "Masi wrote: "Hallie wrote: "Masi wrote: "Yeah They talk about we don't follow culture or whatever bull they say. I can't understand religion that much though."I can't understand re..."
Same with my friends :/ We've had countless debates on whether or not this religion thing is worth believing in, but ultimately they're just trying to get me agree with them.
I have Aethist in my family and they hate us and our family. (Jewish, Christian, and Mormons) Unfortunately, one follows Wicca and she hates all.
I wish my family and extended family would just get along. It seems that Christians and Mormons and some Jewish gets along. But others just...
I'm trying not to be rude or confusing or anything. The only time we see each other is on family reunions.
Mod
If you're feeling alone and helpless, this website can help. And even if not, just know that the mods on here care about you.
PinkLoki(Shine) RULER OF: CrimsonPeak, Asgard, Jotunheim, Midgard, AvengersTower wrote: "I have Aethist in my family and they hate us and our family. (Jewish, Christian, and Mormons) Unfortunately, one follows Wicca and she hates all."Oh Shine (haha I initially wrote Loki instead of Shine xD), I most certainly don't hate anyone who believes in God or religion! You're entitled to your own beliefs just like I am. It's only when people try to mess with my beliefs that I get mad. Rest assured, I still respect your opinions. I definitely don't hate anyone for being Christian or Catholic. In fact, I used to be a bit afraid of God when I was little, but I don't know, it just disappeared and something else took over me.
You don't hate me because I'm an atheist, do you?
Masi wrote: "I hate family reunions because I'm expected to talk with my relatives. Their like, "Tell me all about what you learned in social studies!" And I'm like deep down inside, "Do I give a flying f what ..."#sodarnrelatable! In my case, "Gosh you're so skinny! Eat more!", "You've grown taller. Hey *insert someone's name*, come over here! Let's see if Hallie is taller or you!" (And how come I'm mostly taller than them??????), "How is school?" (Well, it's.... Oh for goodness' sake! If you had some common sense, you wouldn't be asking that!) and so on.
Ummm.... Let me make something clear guys: I won't use the suicide prevention website. I just won't. I've really had enough. I'm pretty sure compared to others, my problems are laughable, but well, I'm different. I work on something else. I'm full of contradictions and flaws. Firstly, it's better for everyone if I disappear, and secondly, I'm paranoid that I'll be caught on that website, which I obviously don't want.
Tumblr!
I haven't been on Tumblr in forever. I wonder how many disgusting blogs are following me right now -_- I'm really going to have to get back there.
Uh so, I really need someone's opinion here. I was thinking of creating a private blog and letting some people from here view it. The blog will feature me *drumrolls* Sing! I mean, bray like a donkey. I'll keep it temporarily and delete it after I hear what you guys think about my voice. I really want to improve in singing, but well, this is the only way. Should I do it? I mean would you help and tell me what I should work on while singing?
Word of the Day
Ethereal: (Adjective)
Extremely delicate and light in a way that seems not to be of this world.
I love that word! along with kerfuffle; a pointless fight. its one of my favs!
Am I wrong for thinking out the box from where I stay?
Am I wrong for saying that I choose another way?
I ain't tryna do what everybody else doing
Just 'cause everybody doing what they all do
If one thing I know, I'll fall but I'll grow
I'm walking down this road of mine, this road that I call home
~ Am I Wrong, Nico and Vinz
Madi wrote: "I love that word! along with kerfuffle; a pointless fight. its one of my favs!"I agree! It's really beautiful! Especially the picture behind it when I think of it.
i love kerfuffle but people mess it up and say kerfluffle and I'm like I WANT TO SHOOT U POINT BLANK IN THE FACE WITH MY BOW AND ARROW (or preferably my crossbow)...either work... ;)
Haha sometimes people do mess up words xD I can forgive them once, but if they mess it up again, I'll help you attack them with my penknife :)
YASSSSSSSS! it just like (messes it up once) okay we good. (messes it up again) *comes in screeching Indian war cry and chops their head off* XD
Yes! We hereby condemn people who mess up the same word more than once! xD Get ready for Madi's crossbow or bow and arrow, and Hallie's penknife (mind you, it's sharp)!
Prankster At Night?
I forgot to tell earlier. Last night, when I was doing something else, my phone began to ring. It was 10:30 pm, so no one should be calling - at least not any relatives or friends. I ran since my parents were already asleep and my phone was outside the room. It was an unknown number. However, when I picked it up and spoke, no one responded. I spoke again, and still silence on the other end. So I cut the call: I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. Then I put my phone in silent mode so that no one else would be disturbed. Immediately, they called again. I picked it up, but silence again. So I left the phone and went away.
Around 15 minutes later, my brother went to the washroom, so I sneaked out of the room again and checked my phone. 4 missed calls! Who on earth was this person? Something is definitely fishy! They called six times in total when everyone was supposed to be asleep, and didn't get the point? I abandoned that thought for the night.
Today morning, I had 9 missed calls from the same number! They began calling at 6:30 am - I woke up at 7:30. Since it was in silent mode, no one else knows (I think). My parents didn't mention their sleep getting ruined because my phone rang in the night.
So basically this person tried to call me 15 times! 15! Which sane person would do that?!?! And some time ago, they called again! Something's not right!
And there's one of my favourite people on Goodreads! :) Hey Masi!! How's your day today?
Tell me when you remember :) I really need some recommendations from intellectual people!
I don't hate you. You're the friendliest ones on GR.
Hallie wrote: "Tumblr!
I haven't been on Tumblr in forever. I wonder how many disgusting blogs are following me right now -_- I'm really going to have to get back there.
Uh so, I really need someone's opinion ..."
You can find me at PinkJotunLoki.
That's my tumblr username.
I haven't been on Tumblr in forever. I wonder how many disgusting blogs are following me right now -_- I'm really going to have to get back there.
Uh so, I really need someone's opinion ..."
You can find me at PinkJotunLoki.
That's my tumblr username.
I'm thinking of deleting my account.Or leaving every single group of mine and deleting all my friends so that only the books and reviews remain.
it's personal
Books mentioned in this topic
Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982 (other topics)Lore (other topics)
The Glass Menagerie (other topics)
The Great Gatsby (other topics)
Orlando (other topics)
More...
Never really knowing why like me
You don't ever wanna step off that roller coaster and be all alone
You don't wanna ride the bus like this
Never ..."
I don't love it as such; just plain 'Yep, it's okay. At least I don't hate it', but right now, it portrays my feelings so well.