Twain Quotes

Quotes tagged as "twain" Showing 1-30 of 31
Mark Twain
“Human beings can be awful cruel to one another.”
Mark Twain, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

Mark Twain
“Do something everyday that you don't want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.”
Mark Twain

Mark Twain
“Conservatism is the blind and fear-filled worship of dead radicals.”
Mark Twain

Andrew Carnegie
“Put all your eggs in one basket and then watch that basket.”
Andrew Carnegie

Mark Twain
“The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.”
Mark Twain

Jesse Ventura
“Why should I have to hide the fact that I don't believe there’s a supreme being? There’s no proof of it. There’s no harm in saying you’re an atheist. It doesn't mean you treat people any differently. I live by the Golden Rule to do unto others, as you'd want to be treated.

I just simply don't believe in religion, and I don’t believe necessarily that there’s a supreme being that watches over all of us. I follow the teachings of George Carlin. George said he worshipped the sun. He was a fellow atheist. I’m in good company … Albert Einstein, Mark Twain, Charles Darwin. It’s not like I’m not with good company and intelligent people. There have been some good, intelligent atheists who have lived in the world.”
Jesse Ventura

Mark Twain
“I think the Cincinnati Enquirer must be edited by children.”
Mark Twain

Mark Twain
“We met a great many other interesting people, among them Lewis Carroll, author of the immortal "Alice"--but he was only interesting to look at, for he was the silliest and shyest full-grown man I have ever met except "Uncle Remus.”
Mark Twain, Autobiography of Mark Twain: Volume 1, Reader's Edition

Mark Twain
“I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time. I have no other restriction as regards smoking.”
Mark Twain, Autobiography of Mark Twain: Volume 1, Reader's Edition

Mark Twain
“I know all about audiences, they believe everything you say, except when you are telling the truth.”
Mark Twain, Autobiography of Mark Twain: Volume 1, Reader's Edition

Robert  Richardson
“Warm summer sun, shine friendly here
Warm western wind, blow kindly here;
Green sod above, rest light, rest light,
Good-night, Annette!
Sweetheart, good-night!”
robert richardson

Dave Matthes
“Hemingway is overrated,
Twain is even more lost at sea,
And all truths point to the mouth of a woman,
Where both her whispers and her screams,
Are born.
Pour another glass,
Beer, wine, whiskey,
I don't care,
So long as its wisdom is sharp,
And it tells lies instead of promises.”
Dave Matthes, The Kaleidoscope Syndrome: An Anthology

Mark Twain
“A wise man does not waste so good a commodity as lying for naught.”
Mark Twain

Mark Twain
“Everybody has heard of the great Heidelberg Tun, and most people have seen it, no doubt. It is a wine-cask as big as a cottage, and some traditions say it holds eighteen hundred thousand bottles, and other traditions say it holds eighteen hundred million barrels. I think it likely that one of these statements is a mistake, and the other is a lie. However, the mere matter of capacity is a thing of no sort of consequence, since the cask is empty, and indeed has always been empty, history says. An empty cask the size of a cathedral could excite but little emotion in me. I do not see any wisdom in building a monster cask to hoard up emptiness in, when you can get a better quality, outside, any day, free of expense.”
Mark Twain, A Tramp Abroad

Mark Twain
“I have never taken any exercise, except sleeping and resting, and I never intend to take any. Exercise is loathsome. And it cannot be any benefit when you are tired; I was always tired.”
Mark Twain, Autobiography of Mark Twain: Volume 1, Reader's Edition

Mark Twain
“Tom Sawyer the Pirate looked around upon the envying juveniles about him and confessed in his heart that this was the proudest moment of his life.”
Mark Twain, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer

Dennis R. Miller
“For me, all writing -- storytelling and style -- gets back to the Bible, Twain and Hemingway, and not in that order.”
Dennis R. Miller

Mark Twain
“Of all God's creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash. That one is the cat.
- Notebook, 1894”
Sam Clemens
tags: twain

Arthur Daigle
“A thousand curses on you and those who spawned you! You've plagued me long enough, you stygian fiend! I don't know what sulfurous pit you've crawled out of, but I mean to return you to it! I'll send you on a voyage down the river Styx if it's the last thing I do!" Twain directed his attention back to the phone. "No, I wasn't talking to you, but most of what I said still applies.”
Arthur Daigle, William Bradshaw and Fool's Gold

Mark Twain
“We saw also an autograph letter of Lucrezia Borgia, a lady for whom I have always entertained the highest respect, on account of her rare histrionic capabilities, her opulence in solid gold goblets made of gilded wood, her high distinction as an operatic screamer, and the facility with which she could order a sextuple funeral and get the corpses ready for it.”
Mark Twain

Mark Twain
“Of all God's creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash. That one is the cat.”
Samuel Clemens
tags: twain

Mark Twain
“إن البيض لا يريدون إلا الخير عندما ينتشلون سمكاً بشرياً من المحيط ويحاولون تنشيفه وتدفته وإسعاده وإراحته في قن الدجاج .”
Mark Twain
tags: mark, twain

Mark Twain
“We wished to go to the Ambrosian Library, and we did that also. We saw a manuscript of Virgil, with annotations in the handwriting of Petrarch, the gentleman who loved another man's Laura, and lavished upon her all through life a love which was a clear waste of the raw material. It was sound sentiment, but bad judgment. It brought both parties fame, and created a fountain of commiseration for them in sentimental breasts that is running yet. But who says a word in behalf of poor Mr. Laura? (I do not know his other name.) Who glorifies him? Who bedews him with tears? Who writes poetry about him? Nobody. How do you suppose he liked the state of things that has given the world so much pleasure? How did he enjoy having another man following his wife every where and making her name a familiar word in every garlic-exterminating mouth in Italy with his sonnets to her pre-empted eyebrows? They got fame and sympathy--he got neither. This is a peculiarly felicitous instance of what is called poetical justice. It is all very fine; but it does not chime with my notions of right. It is too one-sided--too ungenerous.”
Mark Twain, The Innocents Abroad

Mark Twain
“No! You mean you're the late CHarlemagne; you must be six or seven hundred years old, at the very least."
"Trouble has done it, Bilgewater, trouble has done it; trouble has brung these gray hairs and this premature balditude.”
Mark Twain

Mark Twain
“You mean you're the late Charlemagne; you must be six or seven hundred years old, at the very least."
"Trouble has done it, Bilgewater, trouble has done it; trouble has brung these gray hairs and this premature balditude.”
Mark Twain

Arthur Daigle
“Twain please!" Peck blubbered. "It was never personal. It was just business!"
"Oh Peck, do you think I'm mad at you? I"m a lawyer. I don't get mad. I don't get even." Twain gave him a wicked smile. " I sue people.
Arthur Daigle, William Bradshaw and Fool's Gold

Mark Twain
“Dear, dear, it only shows that there is nothing diviner about a king than there is about a tramp, after all. He is just a cheap and hollow artificiality when you don't know he is a king. But reveal his quality, and dear me it takes your very breath away to look at him. I reckon we are all fools. Born so, no doubt.”
Mark Twain, A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court

Kamil Ali
“THE TWAIN DOTH MEET

East and West are relative to their shared starting point

Kamil Ali”
Kamil Ali, The Initiates

“Nadie que haya leído a Mark Twain puede ser enemigo de los Estados Unidos”
Juan Emilio Bosch Gaviño

Mark Twain
“Nichts lieben die Deutschen so von ganzem Herzen wie die Oper. Sie werden durch Gewohnheit und Erziehung dahin geleitet. Auch wir Amerikaner können es ohne Zweifel eines Tages noch zu solcher Liebe bringen. Bis jetzt findet aber vielleicht unter fünfzig Besuchern der Oper einer wirklich Gefallen daran; von den übrigen neunundvierzig gehen viele, glaube ich, hin, weil sie sich daran gewöhnen möchten, und die andern, um mit Sachkenntnis davon reden zu können. Letztere summen gewöhnlich die Melodien vor sich hin, während sie auf der Bühne gesungen werden, um ihren Nachbarn zu zeigen, daß sie nicht zum erstenmal in der Oper sind. Sie verdienten dafür gehängt zu werden.”
Mark Twain, Meistererzählungen

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