Ikea Quotes

Quotes tagged as "ikea" Showing 1-12 of 12
Maria Semple
“You know what it’s like when you go to IKEA and you can’t believe how cheap everything is, and even though you may not need a hundred tea lights, my God, they’re only ninety-nine cents for the whole bag? Or: Sure the throw are filled with a squishy ball of no-doubt toxic whatnot, but they’re so bright and three-for-five-dollars that before you know it you've dropped five hundred bucks, not because you needed any of this crap, but because it was so damn cheap?”
Maria Semple, Where'd You Go, Bernadette

Douglas Coupland
“Hi! I'm Ethan, I shop at Ikea. I bought a $300 dining suite and it took me three days to assemble!”
Douglas Coupland

Brooke Davis
“You see, Squirt, there's heaven, and then there's hell. Hell is where they send all the bad people, like criminals and con artists and parking inspectors. And heaven is where they send all the good people, like you and me and that nice blonde from MasterChef.

What happens when you get there?

In heaven, you hang out with God and Jimi Hendrix, and you get to eat doughnuts whenever you want. In hell, you have to, uh . . . do the Macarena. Forever. To that "Grease Megamix."

Where do you go if you're good and bad?

What? I don't know. IKEA?”
Brooke Davis, Lost & Found

Thomas Pynchon
“Look at this. A barstool, named Sven? Some old Swedish custom, the winter kicks in, weather gets harsh, after a while you find yourself relating to the furniture in ways you didn't expect?”
Thomas Pynchon, Bleeding Edge
tags: ikea

Keith R.A. DeCandido
“I can follow pretty much every programming language out there, I can make a two-hundred-year-old diary out of some really nasty ingredients, I can even make sense out of the instruction booklets that come with IKEA furniture, but I can*not* make heads or tails of this nonsense right here.”
Keith R.A. DeCandido, The Zoo Job

Nino Cipri
“We're here to tell you what to do if a worm-hole opens up on your shift!”
Nino Cipri, Finna

Paul Murray
“I only meant, you know, you shouldn’t be wasting your time on imbeciles. I know how hard it is to find the right person, but that’s no reason to exhaustively work your way through all the wrong people. You seem to be living your romantic life by some kind of process of elimination. It’s like matching a Louis Quatorze armchair with one of those plastic patio tables. It simply doesn’t work.” “Oh, I see,” Bel said. “I’m an armchair, is that it?” “A Louis Quatorze armchair,” I qualified. “And my boyfriends are patio tables.” “Actually,” I remembered, “this one’s more like one of those self-assembly Swedish wardrobes.”
Paul Murray

Romain Puértolas
“Para alguém de um país ocidental com tendência democrática, o senhor Ikea desenvolvera um conceito comercial no mínimo insólito: a visita forçada ao seu estabelecimento.
Assim, se quisesse aceder à zona de self-service situada no rés do chão, o cliente era obrigado a subir ao primeiro andar, percorrer um gigantesco e interminável corredor que serpenteava entre quartos, salas e cozinhas em exposição, cada espaço mais bonito do que o anterior, passar por um restaurante aliciante, comer umas almôndegas ou wraps de salmão e só depois descer à secção de vendas para finalmente efetuar as suas compras. Em suma, uma pessoa que quisesse comprar três parafusos e duas cavilhas saía quatro horas depois com uma cozinha equipada e uma boa indigestão.
Os suecos, pessoas muito previdentes, tinham inclusive desenhado uma linha amarela no chão para indicar o caminho a seguir, não fosse dar-se o caso de um visitante ter a má ideia de se desviar do rumo certo.”
Romain Puértolas, L'Extraordinaire Voyage du fakir qui était resté coincé dans une armoire Ikea

“Only while sleeping one makes no mistakes. Making mistakes is the privilege of the active — of those who can correct their mistakes and put them right.”
Ingvar Kamprad

“The most stylish and successful rooms are not those who slavishly follow a theme, but those who evolve gradually.”
Anoop Parikh

“While making inexpensive furniture may be what IKEA does prac- tically, the vision of “creating a better everyday life” for people has emotional resonance we can rally behind. These are the words of a movement, and I would argue that without them, Ikea would be much less successful. Combine commitment to a meaningful purpose with flawless execution and it makes the difference between the world’s largest furniture retailer and a local purveyor of cheap junk.”
Alan Philips, The Age of Ideas: Unlock Your Creative Potential

Grady Hendrix
“Orsk svým zákazníkům sliboval "všechno, co potřebují k životu", ať se řečený život zrovna nacházel v libovolném stádiu - nabízel vše od kolébek Balsak až po houpací křesla Gutevol. Jediné, co v nabídce chybělo, byly rakve. Aspoň prozatím.”
Grady Hendrix, Horrorstör