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Haremlit Quotes
Quotes tagged as "haremlit"
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“I had contingencies for snipers, satchel charges, and drone-guided ordnance. I did not have a contingency for celebrity.”
― Undercover Archmage
― Undercover Archmage
“It turned out that rumors of excessive, unchecked violence are the best marketing campaign a Battle Mage could ask for.”
― Undercover Archmage
― Undercover Archmage
“Not bad. I'd neutralized a walking armory using a tablecloth, a punch bowl, and gravity.”
― Undercover Archmage
― Undercover Archmage
“Dying, it turned out, was remarkably similar to a wet Tuesday night in Arlington.”
― Undercover Archmage
― Undercover Archmage
“Spending more hours worrying about variables I couldn’t control wasn’t the sign of good command. It was just anxiety with a better vocabulary.”
― Undercover Archmage 2
― Undercover Archmage 2
“Counterpoint. You’re an emotionally repressed weapon of the state with a gun fetish. But I suppose you do have nice shoulders, so I’m inclined to keep you around.”
― Undercover Archmage 2
― Undercover Archmage 2
“Once more I found myself reflecting that we really needed to rethink our policy of handing loaded firearms to teenage Wizards with trust funds.”
― Undercover Archmage 3
― Undercover Archmage 3
“The reward for being the only functioning adult in the room is, invariably, more room to clean.”
― Undercover Archmage 3
― Undercover Archmage 3
“Turns out, you don't need a dark lord to end the world anymore. You just need a corrupt accountant and a missed payment.”
― Undercover Archmage 3
― Undercover Archmage 3
“I'll just add 'saving the world' to my to-do list, right under 'laundry' and 'not getting evicted.”
― Undercover Archmage 3
― Undercover Archmage 3
“We operate exactly like a cult. A heavily armed cult. We just possess better dental coverage and a higher body count.”
― Undercover Archmage 3
― Undercover Archmage 3
“The golem is on fire now, Professor. The origin of the combustion does not alter the current status of the combustion.”
― Undercover Archmage 4
― Undercover Archmage 4
“The gargoyle will give you a riddle, but the answer is always 'sherry.' It has been for sixty years. I keep meaning to update it.”
― Undercover Archmage 4
― Undercover Archmage 4
“Nothing exploded. I counted this as the single greatest professional achievement of my entire career.”
― Undercover Archmage 4
― Undercover Archmage 4
“Nobody shoots at you while you're painting a wall. The wall doesn't have a mana signature. The wall just needs another coat.”
― Undercover Archmage 4
― Undercover Archmage 4
“I ate my egg and looked at neither of them, because there are firefights a wise man does not walk into, and every single one of them was at this table.”
― Undercover Archmage 5
― Undercover Archmage 5
“Mind the third step, darlings. It’s been loose since March and it knows what it did.”
― Undercover Archmage 5
― Undercover Archmage 5
“Ravenwick was built in 1643 by people who were worried about the seventeenth century, and its defenses have been improved since then by absolutely nobody.”
― Undercover Archmage 5
― Undercover Archmage 5
“You were asked to woo the woman and you’ve instead gone and been decent at her in a corridor, which is the same thing done backwards and much slower.”
― Undercover Archmage 5
― Undercover Archmage 5
“The thing about a compromise nobody understands is that nobody can tell whether they've lost.”
― Undercover Archmage 5
― Undercover Archmage 5
“I have been thirty-one years in this post and have never yet found a good reason to be the second-cleverest person in a room.”
― Undercover Archmage 5
― Undercover Archmage 5
“The first rule of defensive driving is to remember that, at 3 a.m., everyone else on the road's an idiot.”
― Undercover Archmage
― Undercover Archmage
“Paranoia is a muscle: if you don't exercise it, it atrophies. And then you die because you didn't check the wheel well of your car for a shaped charge.”
― Undercover Archmage
― Undercover Archmage
“You see, facing down certain death’s easy when your life’s a rental with no insurance. You drive it into a wall, and if you walk away, you get to dispute the charges on your credit card.”
― Undercover Archmage 2
― Undercover Archmage 2
“In my experience, espionage tends to ignore most of the fundamental aspects of sporting behaviour, Headmaster. It’s really just gossip with a body count.”
― Undercover Archmage 2
― Undercover Archmage 2
“Call me a bluff old traditionalist, but I’ve always preferred my students to be breathing.”
― Undercover Archmage 2
― Undercover Archmage 2
“Guns may well be highly effective, Battle Mage, but never overlook the power of a gigantic fucking fireball.”
― Undercover Archmage 2
― Undercover Archmage 2
“Most people consider a locked, reinforced door an obstacle. Vexia treats it as a high-velocity projectile waiting for an excuse.”
― Undercover Archmage 3
― Undercover Archmage 3
“The second rule of real estate, right after "location, location, location", is that if a room has been sealed shut for thirty-two years, there's usually a perfectly good reason.”
― Undercover Archmage 4
― Undercover Archmage 4
“No, darling, you stay perfectly still and think calming thoughts and let the rest of us run away.”
― Undercover Archmage 4
― Undercover Archmage 4
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