Codependency Quotes

Quotes tagged as "codependency" (showing 1-30 of 68)
Sam Keen
“There are two questions a man must ask himself: The first is 'Where am I going?' and the second is 'Who will go with me?'

If you ever get these questions in the wrong order you are in trouble.”
Sam Keen, Fire in the Belly: On Being a Man

Sam Keen
“The psyche cannot tolerate a vacuum of love. In the severely abused or deprived child, pain, dis-ease, and violance rush in to fill the void. In the average person in our culture, who has been only "normally" deprived of touch, anxiety and an insatiable hunger for posessions replace the missing eros. The child lacking a sense of welcome, joyous belonging, gratuitous security, will learn to hoard the limited supply of affection. According to the law of psychic compensation, not being held leads to holding on, grasping, addiction, posessiveness. Gradually, things replace people as a source of pleasure and security. When the gift of belonging with is denied, the child learns that love means belongin to. To the degree we are arrested at this stage of development, the needy child will dominate our motivations. Other people and things (and there is fundamentally no difference) will be seen as existing solely for the purpose of "my" survival and satisfaction. "Mine" will become the most important word.”
Sam Keen, The Passionate Life: Stages of Loving

J. Kenner
“You’re what gives me strength. If I am what centers you, Nikki, then you are what anchors me. Every time I touch you, every time I bury myself deep inside you—Nikki, don’t you see?
You are the talisman of my life, and if I lose my grip on you, then I have lost myself.”
J. Kenner, Complete Me

Coco J. Ginger
“A POCKET-SIZED GIRL

He keeps me in his pocket
for a rainy day;
he swears I'm not an object
as he yo-yo's me away.

A friend is what we'll call it,
but my friend, he does not know,
each time it rains I love him—
so to his pocket, I must go.

He thinks he's being clever,
but I am not a fool;
his love ain't worth a penny,
so to my heart I must be cruel.”
Coco J. Ginger

“Many of us live in denial of who we truly are because we fear losing someone or something-and there are times that if we don't rock the boat, too often the one we lose is ourselves...It feels good to be accepted, loved, and approved of by others, but often the membership fee to belong to that club is far too high of a price to pay.”
Dennis Merritt Jones

Melody Beattie
“We Are Lovable
Even if the most important person in your world rejects you, you are still real, and you are still okay.”
Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

Coco J. Ginger
“MY MOON

I'll always wonder what time it is there; if you're dreaming, or awake. My moon is your sun; my darkness, your light.

I'm in the future, you'd jokingly say.

And I know where you are, because I'm watching you from the past.”
Coco J. Ginger

Coco J. Ginger
“7am

They said that I’d forget you,
and I knew it wasn’t true.
But sometimes I wake up now,
and my heart’s no longer blue.

I press the Keurig button,
dancing across the room—
Sometimes it’s nearly seven,
before I’ve thought of you.

And though we sleep together,
all night side by side,
one day I’ll have my coffee
without you in my mind.”
Coco J. Ginger

Coco J. Ginger
“WORTHY


If you ever decide to feel— feel this:
I love you. I always have. I always will.

Not because you're charming, beautiful
or lovable.
But because I choose you.
Everyday I wake up and I choose you—
again, and again, and again.

But if you cannot feel, and if you never
feel this, then know:
I do not love you. I never have. I never will.
Because you're not worth my love.

(Come back my love, I am drowning.)”
Coco J. Ginger

Coco J. Ginger
“A WISH

Sometimes I wish
that he will live
and I will see him.

But mostly I wish
that he will die, and take
my memories with him.”
Coco J. Ginger

Melody Beattie
“Once they have been affected---once "it" sets in---codependency takes on a life of its own. It is similar to catching pneumonia or picking up a destructive habit. Once you've got it, you've got it.

If you want to get rid of it, YOU have to do something to make it go away. It doesn't matter whose fault it is. Your codependency becomes your problem; solving your problems is your responsibility.”
Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

Melody Beattie
“A codependent person is one who has let another person's behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior.”
Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

Susan B. Anthony
“There is not a woman born who desires to eat the bread of dependence, no matter whether it be from the hand of father, husband, or brother; for anyone who does so eat her bread places herself in the power of the person from whom she takes it.”
Susan B. Anthony

“The man reeks of mental illness. I can taste his pathology... Goes well with my palette.”
Juditta Salem

“Tell me, is there someone in your life who's been sharing your life too closely? A friend or a loved one? Is there someone who's been taking up your time and not giving any of it back?”
Alexandra Kleeman, You Too Can Have a Body Like Mine

Aletheia Luna
“As empaths, we are not here to be sponges or enablers. We are here to be helpers, guides, and supporters.”
Aletheia Luna, Awakened Empath: The Ultimate Guide to Emotional, Psychological and Spiritual Healing

Aletheia Luna
“Because empaths can see the world through their partner’s point of view, they frequently tend to completely mesh with the viewpoints of their abusers. So when an empath is told that he or she is uncaring from a narcissistic partner, the empath will genuinely feel as though they are a horrible person due to the fact that they can feel and embody the emotions of their partners.”
Aletheia Luna, Awakened Empath: The Ultimate Guide to Emotional, Psychological and Spiritual Healing

Daniel Marques
“There's no point in fighting for a woman that is rude and boring, just because she's hot. Such woman shortens your lifespan.”
Daniel Marques

Grace W. Wroldson
“If I am this capable of loving an alcoholic so much, imagine how awesome I could be at loving myself.”
Grace W. Wroldson, So You Love an... Alcoholic?: Lessons for a Codependent

Grace W. Wroldson
“It wasn't so much about breaking free of him, as it was about breaking free of me.”
Grace W. Wroldson, So You Love an... Alcoholic?: Lessons for a Codependent

“It's so exhausting, so mentally and emotionally draining when you care about a drug addict and they never miss an opportunity to disappoint, manipulate or hurt you.”
Oliver Markus Malloy, Bad Choices Make Good Stories - Finding Happiness in Los Angeles

Beverly Engel
“It is only when we feel deprived that we resent giving to others. Self-care does not mean you stop caring about others; it just means you start caring more about you. Start thinking about yourself more and others less. Since you have a choice between taking care of someone else, or giving to yourself, try choosing yourself sometimes.”
Beverly Engel, The Right to Innocence

“Narcissists Cheat. If they have been caught in other lies, what makes you believe their cheating lies? What is your die hard boundary on cheating? Once? Twice? Remember your children are watching and learning how they should be treated. Stand up for them.”
Tracy Malone

Grace W. Wroldson
“I was dating the same man over and over again, expecting a different relationship. Where's the sanity in that!?”
Grace W. Wroldson, So You Love an . . . Alcoholic?: Lessons for a Codependent

Vironika Tugaleva
“One particularly harmful idea carried by our cultural narrative is that you need to find someone who will love you. Imagine if we believed this about any other basic need: food, water, oxygen. If you needed another person to provide you with those, you’d be considered dependent—if not disabled. Yet we so willingly put ourselves in this state with love.”
Vironika Tugaleva, The Art of Talking to Yourself

“We each can foster loving and kind relationships through meditation and repeating mantras.”
Eknath Easwaren, Conquest of the Mind

Melody Beattie
“Detachment also involves accepting reality—the facts. It requires faith—in ourselves, in God, in other people, and in the natural order and destiny of things in this world. We believe in the rightness and appropriateness of each moment. We release our burdens and cares, and give ourselves the freedom to enjoy life in spite of our unsolved problems. We trust that all is well in spite of the conflicts. We trust that Someone greater than ourselves knows, has ordained, and cares about what is happening. We understand that this Someone can do much more to solve the problem than we can. So we try to stay out of His way and let Him do it. In time, we know that all is well because we see how the strangest (and sometimes most painful) things work out for the best and for the benefit of everyone.”
Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

“So many mothers are unable to let their children go into the adult life and become literally attached to them giving rise to codependency”
Sunday Adelaja

Robin Sacredfire
“People that can’t control their behavior have a problem with discipline. But lack of discipline over the body originates in a restless mind. The restless mind does not stop because it is not at peace. The mind cannot be at peace if the heart is in distress. A heart in distress is in search for love. The less love is in the heart, the more thoughts are in the mind, and as a consequence, the more troubled is life. We then look at what reflects back at us in the form of lack of love but it is just and always a reflection of what is and has been within us. Nevertheless, we can’t love the reflection expecting it to vanish into love; And, we can’t love ourselves when we are constantly vanishing into our reflection. We can only understand that both are the same; and, in loving both, none will remain as it was. In doing so, we lose our ego and our reputation but win love.”
Robin Sacredfire

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