Codependency Quotes

Quotes tagged as "codependency" Showing 1-30 of 105
Sam Keen
“There are two questions a man must ask himself: The first is 'Where am I going?' and the second is 'Who will go with me?'

If you ever get these questions in the wrong order you are in trouble.”
Sam Keen, Fire in the Belly: On Being a Man

Melody Beattie
“Codependents are reactionaries. They overreact. They under-react. But rarely do they act. They react to the problems, pains, lives, and behaviors of others. They react to their own problems, pains, and behaviors.”
Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

Melody Beattie
“Ever since people first existed, they have been doing all the things we label "codependent." They have worried themselves sick about other people. They have tried to help in ways that didn't help. They have said yes when they meant no. They have tried to make other people see things their way. They have bent over backwards avoiding hurting people's feelings and, in so doing, have hurt themselves. They have been afraid to trust their feelings. They have believed lies and then felt betrayed. They have wanted to get even and punish others. They have felt so angry they wanted to kill. They have struggled for their rights while other people said they didn't have any. They have worn sackcloth because they didn't believe they deserved silk.”
Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

Sam Keen
“The psyche cannot tolerate a vacuum of love. In the severely abused or deprived child, pain, dis-ease, and violance rush in to fill the void. In the average person in our culture, who has been only "normally" deprived of touch, anxiety and an insatiable hunger for posessions replace the missing eros. The child lacking a sense of welcome, joyous belonging, gratuitous security, will learn to hoard the limited supply of affection. According to the law of psychic compensation, not being held leads to holding on, grasping, addiction, posessiveness. Gradually, things replace people as a source of pleasure and security. When the gift of belonging with is denied, the child learns that love means belongin to. To the degree we are arrested at this stage of development, the needy child will dominate our motivations. Other people and things (and there is fundamentally no difference) will be seen as existing solely for the purpose of "my" survival and satisfaction. "Mine" will become the most important word.”
Sam Keen, The Passionate Life: Stages of Loving

J. Kenner
“You’re what gives me strength. If I am what centers you, Nikki, then you are what anchors me. Every time I touch you, every time I bury myself deep inside you—Nikki, don’t you see?
You are the talisman of my life, and if I lose my grip on you, then I have lost myself.”
J. Kenner, Complete Me

“Many of us live in denial of who we truly are because we fear losing someone or something-and there are times that if we don't rock the boat, too often the one we lose is ourselves...It feels good to be accepted, loved, and approved of by others, but often the membership fee to belong to that club is far too high of a price to pay.”
Dennis Merritt Jones

Melody Beattie
“We Are Lovable
Even if the most important person in your world rejects you, you are still real, and you are still okay.”
Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

Melody Beattie
“A codependent person is one who has let another person's behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior.”
Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

Melody Beattie
“Once they have been affected---once "it" sets in---codependency takes on a life of its own. It is similar to catching pneumonia or picking up a destructive habit. Once you've got it, you've got it.

If you want to get rid of it, YOU have to do something to make it go away. It doesn't matter whose fault it is. Your codependency becomes your problem; solving your problems is your responsibility.”
Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

P.A. Speers
“There's always something in it for the person who is allowing to be taken advantage of." Psychotherapist David in Type 1 Sociopath”
P.A. Speers, Type 1 Sociopath - When Difficult People Are More Than Just Difficult People

“Everything happens because there was a lesson you needed to learn. Move on from the messenger they were not the lesson. Find the lesson and you will never repeat it again.”
Tracy A Malone

“The greatest gift we give ourselves is to give up the need for vindication. Trust in karma, move on and learn to let go.”
Tracy A Malone

“When you forgive it means you are ready to walk away from the fight.”
Tracy A Malone

“Always remember who you were before knowing a narcissist. If you don't know who you were, invent who you want to be.”
Tracy A Malone

“Forgiveness is letting go of the anger that unforgiveness holds. Forgive once, or resent everyday that is your choice.”
Tracy A Malone

“Forget the past, you cannot change it. Always remember the lesson, and stay the hell away from your abuser.”
Tracy A Malone

“Always do the right thing, despite the games someone else is playing.”
Tracy A Malone

“Betrayal is a double edge sword. When victims are betrayed, they struggle to find the reasons 'why' and they resist healing. Release the anger, because holding onto it means you still care.”
Tracy A Malone

“People pleasing is a very dangerous lifestyle. In the end you lose yourself in the needs of others.”
Tracy A Malone

“Everyone has fears, it is the bravery of heart that triumphs over all fears.”
Tracy A Malone

“Don't let fear of your unknown future paralyze you. You get to write the next chapter so get out your crayon. Dream it plan how you will get there and build it.”
Tracy A Malone

“Loss of a relationship is painful, but if you lose yourself in a relationship, when it ends, it's devastating, because you are lost.”
Darlene Lancer

“Allowing others to suffer the consequences of their own actions, without enabling them, is the best motivation for them to undertake the difficult task of change.”
Darlene Lancer

“Face your fears, by creating a plan. We are usually afraid of the unknown, so expose it, plan it and conquer your fears.”
Tracy A Malone

“Keep dreaming - when you have a dream, set goals on how to get there. When you work hard for your dreams it makes them that much better when they come true.”
Tracy A Malone

“Life will always deliver problems, thankfully, there is always a solution to every problem. Your job is to solve the problem, absorb the lesson and move on.”
Tracy A Malone

“Today is the day to forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made. Learn the lesson and move on.”
Tracy A Malone

“Their is a lot of life after "I don't give a shit." What will your life look like when you don't give a shit?”
Tracy A Malone

“Recovery from emotional abuse is a unique journey for everyone. Start by controlling what you can, grab a hold of your new chapter. Learn to let go of the past, because you never really had control of that.”
Tracy A Malone

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