Caleb > Caleb's Quotes

“Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.”
― Terry Pratchett, Jingo

“Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.”
― Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time

“And so it goes...”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five

“Don’t you want to be alive before you die?”
― Anthony Doerr, All the Light We Cannot See

“All data is stale. The photons reaching your eyes are stale. They tell you that you are looking at something real, but you have no information that the objects before you still exist. They may have vanished into oblivion the instant those photons took wing.”
― Alastair Reynolds, House of Suns

“To see something marvellous with your own eyes - that’s wonderful enough. But when two of you see it, two of you together, holding hands, holding each other close, knowing that you’ll both have that memory for the rest of your lives, but that each of you will only ever hold an incomplete half of it, and that it won’t ever really exist as a whole until you’re together, talking or thinking about that moment ... that’s worth more than one plus one. It’s worth four, or eight, or some number so large we can’t even imagine it.”
― Alastair Reynolds, House of Suns

“...inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened.”
― Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures

“Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Timequake

“I say in speeches that a plausible mission of artists is to make people appreciate being alive at least a little bit. I am then asked if I know of any artists who pulled that off. I reply, 'The Beatles did'.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., Timequake

“You were sick, but now you're well again, and there's work to do.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Timequake

“All persons, living and dead, are purely coincidental.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Timequake

“Extenuating circumstance to be mentioned on Judgment Day: We never asked to be born in the first place.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Timequake

“Listen: We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different!”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Timequake

“In real life as in grand opera, arias only make hopeless situations worse.”
― Kurt Vonnegut , Timequake

“Artists,” he said, “are people who say, 'I can't fix my country or my state or my city, or even my marriage. But by golly, I can make this square of canvas, or this eight-and-a-half-by-eleven piece of paper, or this lump of clay, or these twelve bars of music, exactly what they ought to be!”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Timequake

“Let me note that Kilgore Trout and I have never used semicolons. They don't do anything, don't suggest anything. They are transvestite hermaphrodites.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Timequake

“Not that it isn't sometimes fun to mention things for no reason. The platypus, for example, is not actually a terrestrial animal but a bioengineered probe designed to blend in amongst the planet’s other creatures, sent to Earth by aliens who did not do enough research. There’s no reason at all to mention that right now, but wasn’t it fun? Don’t make that face; it’s rude.”
― Michael G. Munz, Zeus Is Dead: A Monstrously Inconvenient Adventure

“This problem cannot be solved with baked goods!” “Well! Certainly not with that attitude.”
― Michael G. Munz, Zeus Is Dead: A Monstrously Inconvenient Adventure

“I swear on a screaming box of bunnies, nobody listens to me!”
― Michael G. Munz, Zeus Is Dead: A Monstrously Inconvenient Adventure

“is my fucking chicken doing a training montage? I watched his incredibly crisp kicks for a little longer.”
― CasualFarmer, Beware of Chicken

“Remember that everything is connected,” I finally settled on. “The water we drink, the air we breathe, the food we eat. Everything has some part of it that leads into each other. Disrupting one thing can disrupt many others. Fixing one thing can fix many others.”
― CasualFarmer, Beware of Chicken

“Roses are red, Foxgloves are purple, I appear to have trapped myself, In a linguistic corner".”
― Dave Turner, Old Haunts

“There's no 'I' in team. But there is 'tea'. So put the kettle on,”
― Dave Turner, How To Be Dead

“Very little social networking goes on. The majority of people just complain about things. Or complain about people complaining about things. Or complain about people complaining about the complainer and how the complainer is oppressing the original complainer's right to complain about things. And share pictures of cats in people clothes.”
― Dave Turner, How To Be Dead #1-3

“I think we should all just worship cake.”
― Dave Turner, Paper Cuts

“Death liked the English. He enjoyed the real ale, biscuits and cricket. Any nation that could invent a game that went on for five days and invariably ended in a draw truly grasped the futility of existence.”
― Dave Turner, How To Be Dead #1-3

“Whether you live a blameless life or drown yourself in sin, time will simply pass its bored gaze over your existence and you will be forgotten by all those who follow. You can show yourself out.”
― Dave Turner, Four Horsemen

“Every time you tell a lie an angel punches a unicorn in the face with a kitten.”
― Dave Turner, How To Be Dead

“At twenty-five, he had learned that there were three key stages to employment: A) 'Oh. This is new!' B) 'I don't know what I'm doing.' C) 'Could someone please stab me with this pen?”
― Dave Turner, How To Be Dead

“If Star Trek has taught humanity one thing, it's how to bang hot alien chicks. If Star Trek has taught humanity two things, it's also that you will transcend your corporeal forms and become entities of pure energy. I don't know where you'd put your bloody car keys, though.”
― Dave Turner, How To Be Dead #1-3