Zeus Is Dead Quotes

“This problem cannot be solved with baked goods!” “Well! Certainly not with that attitude.”
― Michael G. Munz, Zeus Is Dead: A Monstrously Inconvenient Adventure

“Not that it isn't sometimes fun to mention things for no reason. The platypus, for example, is not actually a terrestrial animal but a bioengineered probe designed to blend in amongst the planet’s other creatures, sent to Earth by aliens who did not do enough research. There’s no reason at all to mention that right now, but wasn’t it fun? Don’t make that face; it’s rude.”
― Michael G. Munz, Zeus Is Dead: A Monstrously Inconvenient Adventure

“I swear on a screaming box of bunnies, nobody listens to me!”
― Michael G. Munz, Zeus Is Dead: A Monstrously Inconvenient Adventure

“Like Douglas Adams? Oh, now there’s a man that got it!”
― Michael G. Munz, Zeus Is Dead: A Monstrously Inconvenient Adventure

“It was difficult to take them seriously, even in the swarms in which they generally traveled. Sharp claws? Check, but attached to a kitten. Piercing teeth? Yes, but, again, in the mouth of an adorable little kitten! One in ten able to chew through metal? Oh, you’d better believe it, but wookit da kitty! Obviously this schmoopifying effect diminished after people actually encountered the playfully savage swarms of the things. Coos of adoration would swiftly turn to shrieks of dismay, which would then escalate into screams of terror when the abhorrent act of killing one adorable creature resulted in two more of them springing alive from its corpse. On the rare occasion this failed to happen, it was only because the creature’s death instead resulted in a fiery explosion and—in a characteristically laughable fashion—a shower of peppermint candy. (Some hypothesized that similar creatures in ancient times had inspired the modern piñata, but the idea fell out of favor due to lack of evidence and the fact that no one likes a piñata filled with death.) Those first few survivors who attempted to tell their tale of terror-by-kittens were ridiculed by their friends, dismissed by the mainstream news agencies, and finally laughed out of UFO conventions.”
― Michael G. Munz, Zeus Is Dead: A Monstrously Inconvenient Adventure

“Formed of the emanations of the thousands who had died of boredom while on hold with customer service, phlegmatic fields represented the most powerful of the few joint creations of Hades and Hephaestus.”
― Michael G. Munz, Zeus Is Dead: A Monstrously Inconvenient Adventure

“There’s one thing you didn’t think of, Alecto!” he yelled. “I am a leaf on the wind! Watch how I soar!”
― Michael G. Munz, Zeus Is Dead: A Monstrously Inconvenient Adventure

“Like Douglas Adams? Oh, now there’s a man that got”
― Michael G. Munz, Zeus Is Dead: A Monstrously Inconvenient Adventure