Caleb

“The Ten Commandments? They're such a downer. Don't get me wrong. They're a very good starting point, but they're so negative. Thou shalt not do this and thou shalt not do that. What about things you shalt? Thou shalt have a nice cup of tea and a biscuit, for example.”
― Dave Turner, How To Be Dead #1-3

“is my fucking chicken doing a training montage? I watched his incredibly crisp kicks for a little longer.”
― CasualFarmer, Beware of Chicken

“If you see a child zombie. Run. They're the scariest. Fuck that shit.”
― Dave Turner, Serious Moonlight

“Very little social networking goes on. The majority of people just complain about things. Or complain about people complaining about things. Or complain about people complaining about the complainer and how the complainer is oppressing the original complainer's right to complain about things. And share pictures of cats in people clothes.”
― Dave Turner, How To Be Dead #1-3