Keith > Keith's Quotes

“Cats are the lap-dancers of the animal world. Soon as you stop shelling out, they move on, find another lap. They're furry little sociopaths. Pretty and slick -- in love with themselves. When's the last time you saw a seeing-eye cat?”
― Andrew Vachss, Safe House

“People who don't have much get ugly about giving up the little they have left.”
― Andrew Vachss

“When you hunt predators, the best camouflage is weakness.”
― Andrew Vachss, Sacrifice

“A dog is like a person—he needs a job and a family to be what he’s meant to be.”
― Andrew Vachss

“I pulled the MG in beside him at the curb and he got in.
"This thing ain't big enough for either one of us," he said. "When you getting something that fits?"
"It goes with my preppy look," I said. "You get one of these, they let you drive around the north shore, watch polo, anything you want."
I let the clutch in and turned right on Dartmouth.
"How you get laid in one of these?" Hawk said.
"You just don't understand preppy," I said. "I know it's not your fault. You're only a couple generations out of the jungle. I realize that. But if you're preppy you don't get laid in a car."
"Where do you get laid if you preppy?"
I sniffed. "One doesn't," I said.
"Preppies gonna be outnumbered in a while," Hawk said.”
― Robert B. Parker

“The key to growing up well, is being tough enough.


”
― Robert B. Parker

“I hate mornings. They start so early.”
― Janet Evanovich, Plum Spooky

“One of us should stop her," Ranger said to Morelli, his eyes fixed on me.
"Not going to be me," Morelli said. "Have you ever tried to stop her from doing something she wanted to do?"
"Haven't had much success at it," Ranger said.
Morelli rocked on his heels. "One thing I've learned about Stephanie over the years, she's not good at taking orders."
"Has authority issues," Ranger said.
"And if you piss her off, she'll get even. She ran me over with her father's Buick once and broke my leg."
That got a small smile out of Ranger.
"Nice to see you boys bonding," I said.”
― Janet Evanovich, Twelve Sharp

“He [Ranger] stopped in front of my parents' house, and we both looked to the door. My mother and my grandmother were standing there, watching us.
"I'm not sure I feel comfortable about the way your grandma looks at me," Ranger said.
[Stephanie] "She wants to see you naked."
"I wish you hadn't told me that, babe."
"Everyone I know wants to see you naked."
"And you?"
"Never crossed my mind." I held my breath when I said it, and I hoped God wouldn't stike me down dead for lying.”
― Janet Evanovich, Hard Eight

“Is there anything else you need from me?" Ranger asked.

"Not right now."

"There will come a time," Ranger said. "Let me know when." And he disconnected.

I opened the freezer and stuck my head in to cool off. If there'd been any more innuendo in that conversation, I could have fried an egg on my forehead.”
― Janet Evanovich

“She'll be back," Ranger said. "But not tonight."
[Stephanie] "How'd you get her to leave?"
"Told her I was gonna spend the next twelve hours ruining you for all other men, and so she might as well go home."
I could feel the heat rush to my face.
Ranger gave me the wolf smile. "I lied about it being tonight," he said.”
― Janet Evanovich, Four to Score

“I don't need handcuffs to enslave a woman." -Ranger to Stephanie”
― Janet Evanovich, Hard Eight

“Babe," Ranger said. "You're looking a little strung out. Is there anything I should know?"
I'm on a sugar withdrawal. I've given up desert and it's all I can think about." That had been true five minutes ago. Now that Ranger was standng in front of me I was thinking a cupcake wasn't what I actually needed.
Maybe I can help you get your mind off doughnuts," Ranger said.
My mouth dropped open, and I think some drool might have dribbled out.”
― Janet Evanovich

“I see you looking at my cookies,' my father said to Morelli. 'Don't even think about it. Go get your own cookies.”
― Janet Evanovich, Twelve Sharp

“If she wasn't your grandmother I'd shoot her."
Ranger”
― Janet Evanovich, Hot Six

“Babe,' Ranger said. 'Do something with her.'

And he disconnected.

I called Ranger back. 'No,' I said. 'And I need information on Jelly Kantner. His apartment got blown up, and I need to find him.'

And I should do this why?'

Because you like me.'

There was a full beat of silence. 'I do,' Ranger said. 'I like you a lot. Sometimes I'm not sure why. Give me a couple minutes.”
― Janet Evanovich, Fearless Fourteen

“Ranger locked eyes with me. "Please," he said.
Tank and Hal were goggle-eyed. They weren't used to "please." I wasn't used to it either. But I liked it.
Okay," I said. "Be careful. He's insane.”
― Janet Evanovich

“I'm sorry about your Porsche."

"I can replace the Porsche. I can't replace you. You need to be more careful."

I was just sitting in your car!"

Babe, you're a magnet for disaster.”
― Janet Evanovich, Eleven on Top

“Ranger is an unusual name," she managed. "Is it a nickname?"
It's a street name," Ranger said. "I was a Ranger in the army."
I heard about them Rangers on TV," Grandma said. "I heard they get dogs pregnant."
My father's mouth dropped open and a piece of ham fell out.
My mother froze, her fork poised in midair.
That's sort of a joke," I told Grandma. "Rangers don't get dogs pregnant in real life."
I looked at Ranger for corroboration and got another smile.”
― Janet Evanovich, Three to Get Deadly

“[Ranger] "How's your mental health?" he asked. "I heard about Soder."
[Stephanie] "I'm rattled."
"I have a cure."
Oh, boy.
He put the truck in gear and headed for the exit. "I know what you're thinking," he said. "And that wasn't where I was going. I was going to suggest work."
"I knew that."
He looked over at me and grinned. "You want me bad."
I did. God help me.”
― Janet Evanovich

“There's me and then there's you, and you aren't ever going to be as good as me, Sweet Thing."
Ranger”
― Janet Evanovich, One for the Money

“Diesel is back," Ranger said.
Yes. How did you know?"
I woke up with a migraine this morning." Ranger said.”
― Janet Evanovich, Plum Lucky

“Babe, you've destroyed a car, burned down two buildings, stapled a guy's nuts, and you have sixteen stitches in your leg. Take a night off. Have a glass of wine, watch some television, and go to bed early."
-Ranger”
― Janet Evanovich, Lean Mean Thirteen

“I always wanted to eat with a Negro,” Grandma said.
Yeah, well I always wanted to eat with a boney-assed old white woman,” Lula said. “So I guess this works out good.”
― Janet Evanovich, Four to Score

“I rented Ghostbusters, my all-time favorite inspirational movie. I picked up some microwave, popcorn, a KitKat, a bag of bite-sized Reese's peanut butter cups, and a box of instant hot chocolate with marshmallows. Do I know how to have a good time, or what?”
― Janet Evanovich, Two for the Dough

“If you're not a race driver, stay the hell home. Don't come here and grumble about going too fast. Get the hell out of the race car if you've got feathers on your legs or butt. Put a kerosene rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat that candy ass.”
― Dale Earnhardt

“If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen.”
― Samuel Adams