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Wes > Wes's Quotes

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  • #1
    John Hodgman
    “A stopped clock is correct twice a day, but a sundial can be used to stab someone, even at nighttime.”
    ― John Hodgman, More Information Than You Require
    60 likes

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  • #2
    Mark Twain
    “Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.”
    ― Mark Twain
    34483 likes

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  • #3
    Steve Martin
    “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
    ― Steve Martin
    tags: humor, obvious, simile
    35264 likes

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  • #4
    Douglas Adams
    “I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
    ― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time
    tags: deadlines, humor, humour, work, writing
    32156 likes

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  • #5
    Douglas Adams
    “The story so far:
    In the beginning the Universe was created.
    This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
    ― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
    tags: humor, scifi
    23473 likes

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  • #6
    Douglas Adams
    “I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer”
    ― Douglas Adams
    tags: attributed-no-source, humor, misattributed-douglas-adams, wit
    11368 likes

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  • #7
    Douglas Adams
    “For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons.”
    ― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
    tags: humour
    10134 likes

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  • #8
    Alan Moore
    “My experience of life is that it is not divided up into genres; it’s a horrifying, romantic, tragic, comical, science-fiction cowboy detective novel. You know, with a bit of pornography if you're lucky.”
    ― Alan Moore
    tags: life
    6790 likes

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  • #9
    “Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck.”
    ― Joss Whedon
    tags: individuality
    3630 likes

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  • #10
    Douglas Adams
    “A learning experience is one of those things that says, 'You know that thing you just did? Don't do that.”
    ― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time
    tags: life
    3610 likes

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  • #11
    Christopher Moore
    “People, generally, suck.”
    ― Christopher Moore, The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror
    tags: humor
    2436 likes

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  • #12
    Douglas Adams
    “A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.”
    ― Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless
    tags: design, foolproof, ingenuity
    3749 likes

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  • #13
    Douglas Adams
    “Don't Panic.”
    ― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
    tags: h2g2, hitchhiker-s-guide, humor, panic
    4707 likes

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  • #14
    Douglas Adams
    “The major problem—one of the major problems, for there are several—one of the many major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it; or rather of who manages to get people to let them do it to them.
    To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it.
    To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.”
    ― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
    tags: elections, hg2g, politics, rulers
    2910 likes

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  • #15
    Janet Evanovich
    “Is that a bulletproof vest? See, now that's so insulting. That's like saying I'm not smart enough to shoot you in the head."
    Eddie DeChooch”
    ― Janet Evanovich, Seven Up
    tags: humor
    1538 likes

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  • #16
    Herman Wouk
    “When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.”
    ― Herman Wouk
    tags: danger, humor
    1197 likes

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  • #17
    “People love a happy ending. So every episode, I will explain once again that I don't like people. And then Mal will shoot someone. Someone we like. And their puppy.”
    ― Joss Whedon
    tags: television, writing
    1553 likes

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  • #18
    Rachel Held Evans
    “My interpretation can only be as inerrant as I am, and that's good to keep in mind.”
    ― Rachel Held Evans, Evolving in Monkey Town: How a Girl Who Knew All the Answers Learned to Ask the Questions
    tags: bible, inerrancy, interpretation, spirituality
    67 likes

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  • #19
    Andy Warhol
    “Don't pay any attention to what they write about you. Just measure it in inches.”
    ― Andy Warhol
    tags: criticism
    1128 likes

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  • #20
    Oscar Wilde
    “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
    ― Oscar Wilde
    177601 likes

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  • #21
    Oscar Wilde
    “Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”
    ― Oscar Wilde
    tags: attributed-no-source, enemies, forgiveness, strategy
    81919 likes

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  • #22
    Oscar Wilde
    “I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.”
    ― Oscar Wilde, The Happy Prince and Other Stories
    tags: intelligence, self-deprecation
    71744 likes

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  • #23
    Groucho Marx
    “Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
    ― Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx
    tags: animals, books, dogs, friends, humor
    38004 likes

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  • #24
    Timothy Zahn
    “If you don't want to be noticed, you don't use a Star Destroyer.”
    ― Timothy Zahn, Heir to the Empire
    tags: obvious, subtlety
    176 likes

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  • #25
    Jim Henson
    “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
    ― Jim Henson
    26432 likes

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  • #26
    “Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.”
    ― Paul Terry
    tags: exercise, humor, laziness, misattributed-to-hutchins
    24397 likes

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  • #27
    Robert A. Heinlein
    “Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”
    ― Robert A. Heinlein
    tags: cats, humor, women
    28815 likes

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  • #28
    Charles M. Schulz
    “All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.”
    ― Charles M. Schulz
    tags: chocolate, food, humor
    26812 likes

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  • #29
    I love mankind ... it's people I can't stand!!
    “I love mankind ... it's people I can't stand!!”
    ― Charles M. Schulz
    tags: humor, mankind, people
    18555 likes

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  • #30
    Terry Pratchett
    “The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Diggers
    tags: humor, open-mind, thinking
    21445 likes



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humor
obvious
simile
deadlines
humour
work
writing
scifi
attributed-no-source
misattributed-douglas-adams
wit
life
individuality
design
foolproof
ingenuity
h2g2
hitchhiker-s-guide
panic
elections
hg2g
politics
rulers
danger
television
bible
inerrancy
interpretation
spirituality
criticism
enemies
forgiveness
strategy
intelligence
self-deprecation
animals
books
dogs
friends
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exercise
laziness
misattributed-to-hutchins
cats
women
chocolate
food
mankind
people
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thinking