Seven Up Quotes

“Is that a bulletproof vest? See, now that's so insulting. That's like saying I'm not smart enough to shoot you in the head."
Eddie DeChooch”
― Janet Evanovich, Seven Up

“Thinking very often resembles napping, but the intent is different. --Stephanie Plum”
― Janet Evanovich, Seven Up

“Truth is, I think naked men are kind of strange looking what with their doodles and ding-dong hanging loose like they do. Nevertheless, there's the curiosity thing. I guess it's another one of those car crash experiences, where you feel compelled to look even if you know you'll be horrified.”
― Janet Evanovich, Seven Up

“You'd tell me if we were getting married, wouldn't you? I mean, you wouldn't just appear on my doorstep one day and say we were due at the church in an hour.”
― Janet Evanovich, Seven Up

“It's been almost a month since you found a body. I knew you were due."
Carl Costanza - Seven Up”
― Janet Evanovich, Seven Up

“You never want to look in a mirror," Lula said. "Men love mirrors. They look at themselves doing the deed and they see Rex the Wonder Horse. Women look at themselves and think they need to renew their membership at the gym.”
― Janet Evanovich, Seven Up

“Holy Crap,' Carolli said. 'You shot Jesus. That's gonna take a lot of Hail Marys.”
― Janet Evanovich, Seven Up

“Maybe it's just not the right time for us to be married. I don't want to be a bounty hunter for the rest of my life, but I certainly don't want to be a housewife right now. And I really don't want to be married to someone who gives me ultimatums.

And maybe Joe needs to examine what he wants from a wife. He was raised in a traditional Italian household with a stay-at-home mother and domineering father. If he wants a wife who will fit into that mold, I'm not for him. I might be a stay-at-home mother someday, but I'll always be trying to fly off the garage roof. That's just who I am.”
― Janet Evanovich, Seven Up

“I could use some help with an FTA.
What's your problem?
He's old, and I'll look like a loser if I shoot him.”
― Janet Evanovich, Seven Up

“He's going to jail. He can't see. He can't hear. He can't take a leak that lasts under fifteen minutes. But he has an erection and all the other problems are small change. Next time around I'm coming back as a man. Priorities are clearly defined. Life is simple.”
― Janet Evanovich, Seven Up

“I guessed my mother figured if my father got right down to the task of eating he wouldn’t be so inclined to jump up and strangle my grandmother.”
― Janet Evanovich, Seven Up

“Princeton isn't actually part of New Jersey. It's a small island of wealth and intellectual eccentricity floating in the Sea of Central Megalopolis. It's an honest-to-god town awash in the land of the strip mall. Hair is smaller, heels are shorter, asses are tighter in Princeton.”
― Janet Evanovich, Seven Up

“helped Grandma off and removed her helmet. She stepped away from the bike and straightened her clothes. “I can see why people like these Harleys,” she said. “They really wake you up down there, don’t they?”
― Janet Evanovich, Seven Up

“You hung up on me,” he said. “Don’t ever hang up on me.” His voice was quiet, but as always the authority was unmistakable. He was wearing black dress slacks, a long-sleeved lightweight black sweater pushed up on his forearms, and expensive black loafers. His hair was cut very short. I was used to seeing him in SWAT dress with long hair, and I hadn’t immediately recognized him. I guess that was the point.”
― Janet Evanovich, Seven Up

“He grabbed me by my jacket lapels, pulled me to him, and kissed me. His tongue touched mine and I got a rush that was just a millimeter below climax. His hands slid inside my jacket and circled my waist. He was hard against me. And suddenly nothing mattered but a Ranger-induced orgasm. I wanted one. Now. The hell with Eddie DeChooch. One of these days he’d drive himself into a bridge abutment and that’d be the end of that.”
― Janet Evanovich, Seven Up

“Ranger is one of the few civilians in Trenton with a permit to carry concealed. He owns office buildings in Boston, has a daughter in Florida by a failed marriage, has worked worldwide as a mercenary, and has a moral code that isn’t entirely in sync with our legal system. I have no idea who the heck he is . . . but I like him.”
― Janet Evanovich, Seven Up

“The third message was from my mother. 'Why me?' she said. 'Why do I have to have a daughter who finds dead bodies? Where did I go wrong? Emily Beeber's daughter never finds dead bodies. Joanne Melanowski's daughter never finds dead bodies. Why me!' News travels fast in the Burg.”
― Janet Evanovich, Seven Up

“There are lots of things we've never talked about."
"Such as?"
"Children. Suppose we have children and it turns out we don't like them?"
"If we can like Bob, we can like anything," Morelli said.
Bob was in the living room licking lint off the carpet.”
― Janet Evanovich, Seven Up

“We’ve got to get into shape,” I said to Lula. “We should go to a gym or something.” “I’d sooner set myself on fire.” That about summed it up for me, too.”
― Janet Evanovich, Seven Up

“He’d wait. I turned to go into the house and he pulled me back. His hands slid under my shirt and my breath caught. “The wire,”
― Janet Evanovich, Seven Up

“Ranger released my ponytail but kept a hand on my neck. I tried to act calm, but his touch was humming through me all the way to my toes and points in between.”
― Janet Evanovich, Seven Up

“He pulled me toward him, lowered his mouth to mine, and kissed me. The kiss was slow and deep. His hands were firm on my back. I grasped his shirt and leaned into him. And I felt his body respond.”
― Janet Evanovich, Seven Up

“Problem was, I just didn’t know if I was ready for marriage. Marriage is scary stuff. You have to share a bathroom. What’s with that? And what about fantasies?”
― Janet Evanovich, Seven Up

“able to walk away. I was firmly pulled back by my ponytail. Ranger had come in behind me and had me by the hair. “Glad to see you’re hard at work looking for Mooner.” “Shhh. I want to hear Joyce bark like a dog.” Ranger had me flat against him, and I could feel the heat from his body seeping into mine. “Not sure that’s worth waiting for, babe.”
― Janet Evanovich, Seven Up

“I might be a stay-at-home mother someday, but I’ll always be trying to fly off the garage roof. That’s just who I am.”
― Janet Evanovich, Seven Up

“For the better part of my childhood, my professional aspirations were simple—I wanted to be an intergalactic princess. I didn’t care much about ruling hordes of space people. Mostly I wanted to wear the cape and the sexy boots and carry a cool weapon.”
― Janet Evanovich, Seven Up

“You have to step on people’s feet and kick them in the back of the leg,” Grandma said, “then they move away from you.”
― Janet Evanovich, Seven Up

“I’m a book junkie. When I retire from wrestling I’m going to open a mystery bookstore.” “Can you make a living selling mysteries?” “No. Nobody makes a living selling mysteries. The stores are all fronts for numbers operations.”
― Janet Evanovich, Seven Up

“What was the deal with me today? It was as if my mouth wasn’t connected to my brain.”
― Janet Evanovich, Seven Up

“We didn’t do this sort of emotional display. We did temper and sarcasm. Anything beyond temper and sarcasm was virgin territory.”
― Janet Evanovich, Seven Up