Johnna > Johnna's Quotes

“First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, May she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her

When crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels.

What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen. Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, That she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back.

“My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.”
― Tina Fey, Bossypants

“If you trust in yourself. . .and believe in your dreams. . .and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men

“I’d heard you were dead.”
"I heard you wear a red lace corset,” I said matter-of-factly. “But I don’t believe every bit of nonsense that gets rumored about.”
― Patrick Rothfuss, The Wise Man's Fear

“The room was full of murmured conversation as wealthy customers gambled, drank, and talked about whatever rich people talk about. How to properly beat the stable boy, I guessed. Or techniques for chasing the chambermaid around the estate.”
― Patrick Rothfuss, The Wise Man's Fear

“Good job, Ambrose," Wilem said sarcastically. "You caught him. He stole your fire." One of the onlookers chimed in, "Yeah, make him put it back!”
― Patrick Rothfuss, The Wise Man's Fear

“People said Ove saw the world in black and white. But she was color. All the color he had.”
― Fredrik Backman, A Man Called Ove

“I'm not running a cat repair company”
― Fredrik Backman, A Man Called Ove

“Sam's phone buzzed. She fished it out of her pocket, checked the screen, and cursed. "I have to go."

"You just got here."

"Valkyrie business. Possible code three-eight-one: heroic death in progress."

"You're making that up."

"I'm not."

"So...what, somebody thinks they're about to die and they text you 'Going down! Need Valkyrie ASAP!' followed by a bunch of sad-face emojis?”
― Rick Riordan, The Hammer of Thor

“Since moving to Valhalla, I'd learned an impressive number of Old Norse cusswords. Meinfretr translated as something like stinkfart, which was, naturally, the worse kind of fart”
― Rick Riordan, The Hammer of Thor

“Even with my sunglasses on, my eyeballs were screaming in pain. Stupid beautiful sunrise in stupid Elf World.”
― Rick Riordan, The Hammer of Thor

“Can I help you?" said the footman. Richard had been told to fuck off and die with more warmth and good humor.”
― Neil Gaiman, Neverwhere

“Originally it had had two settings: Stun and Kill. These had proved inadequate against the ridiculously well-armored skin of monsters from particularly rough planets, so I'd found a way to tinker with the built-in limitations. The dial now had a third setting, labeled with the handwritten words 'Solve All Immediate Problems.”
― Yahtzee Croshaw, Will Save the Galaxy for Food

“Oh, traccy traccy ply ply bracket doints and divs”
― Yahtzee Croshaw, Will Save the Galaxy for Food

“This meant that Alexander's side business was actually the revenge business. Though to be completely honest, he had just the one customer, himself.”
― Cynthia Hand, My Plain Jane

“Yeah, but broken isn't the same as unfixable.”
― Marissa Meyer, Winter

“Did you see any rice in there? Maybe we could fill Cinder's head with it."

Everyone stared at him.

"You know, to...absorb the moisture, or something. Isn't that a thing?"

"We're not putting rice in my head.”
― Marissa Meyer, Winter

“[He] spat. Literally spat on this gorgeous tile floor.
"EW!" Iko cried, "You heathen!”
― Marissa Meyer, Winter

“One might even have said that I was a connoisseur of the bus, if one used words like “connoisseur” for a thing that had no air-conditioning or heat and often smelled like pee and Fritos.”
― Kate Williams, The Babysitters Coven

“Every person has the power to change their fate if they are brave enough to fight for what they desire more than anything.”
― Stephanie Garber, Caraval

“She especially felt the women, judging her freshly mussed curls and her nearly backless gown as they whispered to one another words that Tella didn’t need to hear to imagine. Few things were quite so brutal as critical ladies.”
― Stephanie Garber, Legendary

“There was also the Duchess of Dao. Wanted for inland piracy, selling poisons, and seduction. “I didn’t know seduction was a crime,” Tella murmured. “Depends on who you’re trying to seduce.”
― Stephanie Garber, Legendary

“The stars were spectacularly fiery that night,”
― Stephanie Garber, Legendary

“He set her down, then turned his blue eyes skyward. No longer was he smiling. No longer did he look like an overhyped imbecile on a gaudy parade float. His eyes met Nova’s, and she swallowed.”
― Marissa Meyer, Renegades

“Oh, you mean instead of grabbing you?” Ben flinched as though he’d been slapped.”
― Holly Black, The Darkest Part of the Forest

“He shook his head without looking at her. “Did you know there are different names for different moons? This month it’s going to be the Hunter’s Moon, but March has the Worm Moon and the Crow Moon. May has the Milk Moon, July the Mead Moon. February has the Hunger Moon and late October the Blood Moon. Aren’t they lovely names? Aren’t they something, Hazel? Aren’t they warning enough?”
― Holly Black, The Darkest Part of the Forest

“Libraries were full of ideas—perhaps the most dangerous and powerful of all weapons.”
― Sarah J. Maas, Throne of Glass

“Our image of ourselves, and our role as good, caring parents, was even deeper than our image of our son and perhaps influenced”
― Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change

“We knew that social comparison motives were out of harmony with our deeper values and could lead to conditional love and eventually to our son’s lessened sense of self-worth. So”
― Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change

“Thus, reflecting on our racial frames is particularly challenging for many white people, because we are taught that to have a racial viewpoint is to be biased. Unfortunately, this belief protects our biases, because denying that we have them ensures that we won’t examine or change them.”
― Robin DiAngelo, White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism

“By the way, in this relationship, I am absolutely the Han and you are absolutely the Leia. Don’t try to argue because you’ll be wrong.”
― Casey McQuiston