gremlin > gremlin's Quotes

“But now that she was my apprentice, every such thought caused a guilty twitch in my neck, as if someone had dropped a sleek, stinky ferret there. Guilt ferrets are bastards.”
― Kevin Hearne, Tricked

“He was a god of rock. He nearly solved all the world's problems with nothing but power chords and anguished cries into a microphone.”
― Kevin Hearne, Tricked

“The key to faking deaths is a fine appreciation of arterial spray patterns. I have found that blood bags work very well at simulating spray with a strategically poked hole; apply pressure to the bottom of the bag, practice a bit, and before long you will be able to write stories of carnage and odes to gore.
A small fan brush-the sort that one dude used to paint happy little trees-can paint a picture of blunt force spatters if you flick the surface properly. You could even talk to yourself, as that painter did, while you flick blood around: "And maybe over here we have a nice stab wound. And, I don't know, maybe there's a few more back over here. Multiple stab wounds. It doesn't matter, whatever you feel like.”
― Kevin Hearne, Tricked

“Fuck it. Let's blow some shit up." - Shaun Mason”
― Mira Grant, Blackout

“It's the oldest story in the world. Boy loves girl. Boy loses girl. Boy gets girl back thanks to the unethical behavior of megalomaniacal mad scientists who never met a corpse they wouldn't try to resurrect. Anyone coming within a hundred yards of my happy ending had better pray that they're immune to bullets. - Shaun Mason”
― Mira Grant, Blackout

“If the directions say to do it, we do it," said Maggie. "That's what everyone says. If you don't listen to the Monkey, he doesn't meet with you."
"Let's hope the directions don't tell us to shoot a man in Reno just to watch him die," I muttered, and pulled out onto the street.”
― Mira Grant, Blackout

“So hell, maybe we just killed the last grizzly in the world. I'd feel bad about that if it hadn't been an infected zombie bear that wanted to eat my delicious flesh.”
― Mira Grant, Blackout

“Do they always flirt with biblical quotes?" Asil asked Tad.

In long-suffering tones, Tad said, "They can flirt with the periodic table or a restaurant menu. We've learned to live with it. Get a room you guys.”
― Patricia Briggs, Frost Burned

“Yes," he said sincerely. "Such a one deserves peanut butter on the seat of his pants.”
― Patricia Briggs, Frost Burned

“Paranoid? Probably. But just because you're paranoid doesn't mean there isn't an invisible demon about to eat your face.”
― Jim Butcher, Storm Front

“It’s only the beginning. Chase me if you like. Perhaps, if you remain interesting, I’ll even let you catch me.”
― A.A. Aguirre, Bronze Gods

“That is a noble idea, though I think it far to generous," Jupiter said. "Once a decade should be sufficient."
"I would rather be too generous than not in such cases."
"As you wish."
[One day, Atticus was amazed to discover that when Jupiter said, "As you wish," what he really meant was "I love you."]”
― Kevin Hearne, Hunted

“When you decide it's time to up the ante on getting into deep shit, you don't mess around, do you? You're just like, hey, what's the worst that can happen? That's the worst that can happen? Great. Let's do that.”
― Seanan McGuire, Chimes at Midnight

“Sorry... I got distracted listening to you and hot glued myself to my unicorn”
― Seanan McGuire, Chimes at Midnight

“What happened?” she breathed, staring at me.

“I got hit in the face with a pie,” I said.

Mags stopped, blinking. “You got...hit in the face with a pie,” she repeated. “I...what? I’m sorry, but I’ve been in charge of this Library for a long time. I’ve seen a lot of really ridiculous things. I lived in Wales. And there is no way being hit with a pie should have turned you human.”

“It was a really evil pie,” I said.”
― Seanan McGuire, Chimes at Midnight

“My name is Isaac Vainio," I said. "You smashed my library. Prepare to die."
Everything went better with Princess Bride references.”
― Jim C. Hines

“If we ruled the world, I guarantee you they never would have cancelled Firefly”
― Jim C. Hines

“Yeah, well, if he tries, I’m going to burn his office down to his red stapler.”
― Kim Harrison, The Witch With No Name

“We’d put a big sign over our territory saying, Nothing here is worth dying over, but if you insist, we will fucking kill you.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, Jason

“Tansy had acted like a thug and reacted like a heroine, and if that wasn’t one of the best combinations I’d ever encountered, I didn’t know what was.”
― Mira Grant, Symbiont

“None of my remedial education classes covered how to escape in the middle of a zombie apocalypse.”
― Mira Grant, Symbiont

“The cow-shaped cookies have a beef flavoring, the turkey-shaped cookies have a poultry flavoring, and..."

Jane held up one of the cookies. "Human-flavored?"

Meg stifled a sigh. That would be the first thing on her feedback list: don't make people-shaped cookies. The Wolves were way too interested and all of them leaped to a logical, if disturbing, expectation about the taste.”
― Anne Bishop, Murder of Crows

“Are there weapons in a bookstore?'
'It's a store full of books, which are objects that can be thrown as well as read,' Monty replied blandly.
The Crows cocked his head. 'I had no idea you humans lived with so much danger.”
― Anne Bishop, Murder of Crows

“I am, apparently, Darth Sullivan," he said, lifting a corner of bread to stuff the tomato back in. "I understand that building things, Death Stars or otherwise, isn't my particular strength.”
― Chloe Neill, Dark Debt

“My spreadsheets bring all the girls to the yard. Hi, Merit.”
― Chloe Neill, Dark Debt

“We can raise the dead. We can cure cancer. We can make the world better in every possible way, save one: No matter how hard we try, we just can't cure stupid.”
― Mira Grant, Please Do Not Taunt the Octopus

“I’m a cat. We aren’t required to make sense.”
― Seanan McGuire, A Local Habitation

“Consort,” I said. “You honor us.”
“Fuck you,” Dali said. “Fuck your shit. I quit.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Shifts

“You see, the mailman saw your husband during one of his walks."
"He's my fiancé," I told her. "We are living in sin."
Heather blinked, momentarily knocked off her stride, but recovered. "Oh, that's nice."
"It's very nice. I highly recommend it.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Shifts

“I will always be there. I will walk across the whole planet if I have to.”
I closed my eyes and whispered, “I’ll meet you halfway.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Shifts