Please Do Not Taunt the Octopus Quotes

“Usually what everyone knows is insulting and sort of ableist, because the people who know everything always seem to think of themselves as being perfectly normal.”
― Mira Grant, Please Do Not Taunt the Octopus

“It’s a hard world these days, and no matter how hard we try, it just keeps on getting harder.”
― Mira Grant, Please Do Not Taunt the Octopus

“Good dogs should never be asked to prove that they’re good dogs. If there’s anything in this world that we should take on faith, it’s good dogs.”
― Mira Grant, Please Do Not Taunt the Octopus

“Indiana Jones and the Middle of Fucking Nowhere, coming never to a theater near you.”
― Mira Grant, Please Do Not Taunt the Octopus

“We can raise the dead. We can cure cancer. We can make the world better in every possible way, save one: No matter how hard we try, we just can't cure stupid.”
― Mira Grant, Please Do Not Taunt the Octopus

“That was what separated us from the zombies.”
― Mira Grant, Please Do Not Taunt the Octopus

“I'm a mad scientist, aren't I? We all have master plans. Without them, we'd just be fairly disgruntled scientists who think we really ought to form a committee to discuss our grievances.”
― Mira Grant, Please Do Not Taunt the Octopus

“Tom, you’re with me. Bring the tranq gun, we don’t want to kill her, but if she so much as looks funny in my direction, you’re going to send her off to play with the magical pastel bunnies in the Shouldn’t-Have-Fucking-Done-That Meadow.”
― Mira Grant, Please Do Not Taunt the Octopus

“The lab isn't evil, it's ethically challenged. We do good things.

I bet Frankenstein told himself the same thing.”
― Mira Grant, Please Do Not Taunt the Octopus

“Never yell in the middle of a mystery. It distracts people from the core issues—those being “What the fuck is going on?” and “How do we all get through this alive?”
― Mira Grant, Please Do Not Taunt the Octopus

“I had been around long enough to understand that sometimes love doesn’t look like anything you would expect.”
― Mira Grant, Please Do Not Taunt the Octopus

“Some days I think the world as it is was invented just to fuck with us. And then I realize that doesn't make any sense at all, because it assumes a childish, vengeful God. If there is a God, He or She isn't a child. God is a scientist, and all this shit we're wading in is our agar. It's the only growth medium we're ever going to get.”
― Mira Grant, Please Do Not Taunt the Octopus

“One, you don’t know everything. Two, what you don’t know can absolutely hurt you. And three, someone’s getting fucked. The only question is, who’s wearing the strap-on?”
― Mira Grant, Please Do Not Taunt the Octopus

“Logic was a story we told ourselves to keep from going completely insane in the face of all the impossible things reality threw at us on a daily basis.”
― Mira Grant, Please Do Not Taunt the Octopus

“There are people who will tell you that the ends justify the means, right up until they’re talking about their own ends. Then, suddenly, morals and ethics matter. Funny thing, that. —Dr. Shannon”
― Mira Grant, Please Do Not Taunt the Octopus

“I’m a mad scientist, aren’t I? We all have master plans. Without them, we’d just be faintly disgruntled scientists who think we really ought to form a committee to discuss our grievances.”
― Mira Grant, Please Do Not Taunt the Octopus

“...she was going to learn that the world was under no obligation to make sense either now or ever. Logic was a story we told ourselves to keep from going completely insane in the face of all the impossible things reality threw at us on a daily basis.”
― Mira Grant, Please Do Not Taunt the Octopus

“The first rule we were taught in medical school was “A cadaver is not a toy.”
― Mira Grant, Please Do Not Taunt the Octopus

“Science is a cruel mistress. That means you should always have a safe word before you try to change the world. Otherwise, how will science know when to let you go? —Dr. Shannon Abbey”
― Mira Grant, Please Do Not Taunt the Octopus

“I swallowed the urge to sigh. Sometimes it can be easy to forget that I don’t really work with anyone my own age. Except on the rare occasions where Joey or Danika decide to call me up for a chat, I am the lone adult in a sea of children, like Captain Hook finally taking full responsibility for the Lost Boys after getting rid of that loser Pan.”
― Mira Grant, Please Do Not Taunt the Octopus

“I present you a single dose of space lobster bait. To be taken orally, and only if you're really, really sure you don't like the reality the rest of us are living in.”
― Mira Grant, Please Do Not Taunt the Octopus

“...no elves or CPAs or other mythological creatures appeared to do my paperwork in the interim”
― Mira Grant, Please Do Not Taunt the Octopus

“There was just something about an overly dramatic dog that amused the hell out of me”
― Mira Grant, Please Do Not Taunt the Octopus

“...brains are the only things that stand between a living person and a gruesome death. Or maybe brains and Kevlar.”
― Mira Grant, Please Do Not Taunt the Octopus

“Logic was a story we told ourselves to keep from going completely insane in the face of all the impossible things reality threw at us on a daily basis”
― Mira Grant, Please Do Not Taunt the Octopus

“I am the lone adult in a sea of children, like Captain Hook finally taking full responsibility for the Lost Boys after getting rid of that loser Pan.”
― Mira Grant, Please Do Not Taunt the Octopus

“And everyone knows I’m a mad scientist. It’s amazing what everyone knows, isn’t it? Usually what everyone knows is insulting and sort of ableist, because the people who know everything always seem to think of themselves as being perfectly normal. But that’s neither here nor there.”
― Mira Grant, Please Do Not Taunt the Octopus