Rohan Monteiro > Rohan's Quotes

“Turkey Bacon. It's like saying "shoot" instead of "shit." It just doesn't quite carry the moment.”
― George Takei, Oh Myyy!

“There is more story in a minor character like Boba Fett than there is in all the clutter of various vampires in the Twilight franchise.”
― George Takei, Oh Myyy!

“Unfriending me when I didn’t even know we were friends? It’s like breaking wind when you’re home alone. If I can’t smell you, knock yourself out.”
― George Takei, Oh Myyy!

“The thing about smart mother fuckers is that sometimes, they sound like crazy mother fuckers to stupid mother fuckers...”
― Robert Kirkman, The Walking Dead, Vol. 9: Here We Remain

“It was one of the dullest speeches I ever heard. The Agee woman told us for three quarters of an hour how she came to write her beastly book, when a simple apology was all that was required.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, The Girl in Blue

“The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering.”
― Bruce Lee

“The doubters said,
"Man can not fly,"
The doers said,
"Maybe, but we'll try,"
And finally soared
In the morning glow
While non-believers
Watched from below.”
― Bruce Lee

“There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?'"
"The mood will pass, sir.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, The Code of the Woosters

“If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood. I'd type a little faster.”
― Isaac Asimov

“This sentence has five words. Here are five more words. Five-word sentences are fine. But several together become monotonous. Listen to what is happening. The writing is getting boring. The sound of it drones. It’s like a stuck record. The ear demands some variety. Now listen. I vary the sentence length, and I create music. Music. The writing sings. It has a pleasant rhythm, a lilt, a harmony. I use short sentences. And I use sentences of medium length. And sometimes, when I am certain the reader is rested, I will engage him with a sentence of considerable length, a sentence that burns with energy and builds with all the impetus of a crescendo, the roll of the drums, the crash of the cymbals–sounds that say listen to this, it is important.”
― Gary Provost

“For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“No mourners, no funerals. Another way of saying good luck. But it was something more. A dark wink to the fact that there would be no expensive burials for people like them, no marble markers to remember their names, no wreaths of myrtle and rose.”
― Leigh Bardugo, Crooked Kingdom

“Has anyone noticed this whole city is looking for us, mad at us, or wants to kill us?"
"So?" said Kaz.
"Well, usually it's just half the city.”
― Leigh Bardugo, Crooked Kingdom

“I'm a business man," he'd told her. "No more, no less."
"You're a thief, Kaz."
"Isn't that what I just said?”
― Leigh Bardugo, Six of Crows

“So avoid using the word ‘very’ because it’s lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don’t use very sad, use morose. Language was invented for one reason, boys - to woo women - and, in that endeavor, laziness will not do. It also won’t do in your essays.”
― N.H. Kleinbaum, Dead Poets Society

“Tiberius's brother, Gaius, was an absolute riot. Said to be the first person in Roman history to pull his cloak open and expose his shoulder while speaking, which is both pointless, and a bit sexy.”
― Emma Southon, A Fatal Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum: Murder in Ancient Rome

“While the wound was not fatal, Victorian medicine unfortunately was.”
― Emma Southon, A Fatal Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum: Murder in Ancient Rome

“Go Fuck yourselves!!”
― Rohan Monteiro, Shadows Revealed

“If you want to save your kid, his personality would be all in his head.. Why would you keep his body and use a random elephants head?”
― Rohan Monteiro, Shadows Rising

“Draupadi was clearly the kim kardasian of her time - someone with a clear head on her shoulders but nobody really paid attention to anything above her shoulders”
― Rohan Monteiro, Shadows Rising

“When Indra wanted to disrupt a sages penance, he would disburse Celestial hotties like OnlyFans subscriptions”
― Rohan Monteiro, Shadows Rising

“Kunti had been a gracious host to a wandering sage named Durvasa. Pleased with her devotion, he taught her a magical hymn that could be used to invoke any god to ‘bless her’ with a child. It goes without saying that dishing out boons like that to a teenager wasn't a smart idea.”
― Rohan Monteiro, Shadows Rising

“It turned out that sex with a god was divine in more ways than one. Once Surya was done illuminating places where the sun didn’t shine, a baby appeared.”
― Rohan Monteiro, Shadows Rising

“Some accounts suggest that Pandu got confused because the sage in question had a fetish for deer and was either dressed as one or having sex with an actual deer. Regardless, it was the last time Pandu assaulted anyone with a loaded weapon, friendly or otherwise.”
― Rohan Monteiro, Shadows Rising

“Despite his good intentions, Pandu was unable to keep it in his pants. Long story short, he got handsy with Madri; one thing led to another, and soon, Madri and Kunti became widows.”
― Rohan Monteiro, Shadows Rising

“The sane thing to do when finding out your spouse is blind would be to support him through the use of your perfectly functioning eyes
If you are really pissed, give him the cold shoulder, tell him you have a headache every time he is feeling amorous, sigh deeply and tell him “I’m fine’ when you are clearly not - maybe even re-arrange the furniture.”
― Rohan Monteiro, Shadows Rising

“Humans hadn't yet reconciled with the idea that a heartfelt unspoken prayer could achieve the same result as loudly thumping your chest and screaming out your devotion. Places of worship today were built primarily for stroking the egos of humans, not gods. And, to launch political campaigns”
― Rohan Monteiro, Shadows Rising