Luísa Leão > Luísa's Quotes

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#1

“Have you ever noticed how ‘What the hell’ is always the right decision to make?”
― Terry Johnson, Insignificance

tags: humor, misattributed-to-marilyn-monroe, philosophy

13806 likes

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#2

“Jesus!" Luke exclaimed.
"Actually, it's just me," said Simon. "Although I've been told the resemblance is startling.”
― Cassandra Clare

tags: humor, jace-wayland, simon-lewis

13685 likes

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#3

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
― Albert Einstein

tags: attributed-no-source, human-nature, humor, infinity, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe

147968 likes

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#4

“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
― Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx

tags: animals, books, dogs, friends, humor

37975 likes

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#5

“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

tags: deadlines, humor, humour, work, writing

32128 likes

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#6

“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”
― Robert A. Heinlein

tags: cats, humor, women

28775 likes

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#7

“I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
― Woody Allen

tags: death, fear, humor, life

25643 likes

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#8

“Reality continues to ruin my life.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

tags: calvin-and-hobbes, humor, life

21144 likes

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#9

“Remember, we're madly in love, so it's all right to kiss me anytime you feel like it.”
― Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games

tags: humor

17931 likes

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#10

“Be careful about reading health books. Some fine day you'll die of a misprint.”
― Markus Herz

tags: books, health, humor, misattributed-mark-twain, misprints

13748 likes

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#11

“Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources”
― C.E.M. Joad

tags: creativity, humor, misattributed-to-einstein, paraphrased

13063 likes

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#12

“I don't want to be a man," said Jace. "I want to be an angst-ridden teenager who can't confront his own inner demons and takes it out verbally on other people instead."
"Well," said Luke, "you're doing a fantastic job.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

tags: clary-fray, demons, growing-up, humor, jace-wayland, luke, teenager

12376 likes

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#13

“I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer”
― Douglas Adams

tags: attributed-no-source, humor, misattributed-douglas-adams, wit

11373 likes

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#14

“Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.”
― Thomas Szasz

tags: humor, inspirational

9758 likes

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#15

“Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.”
― Mark Twain

tags: humor, writing

9627 likes

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#16

“If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.”
― E.B. White

tags: activism, humor, life, pleasure

9189 likes

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#17

“Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”
― Mark Twain

tags: humor, politics

9097 likes

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#18

“When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, There's just something about you that pisses me off.”
― Stephen King, Storm of the Century

tags: god, humor, religion

7973 likes

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#19

“Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.”
― Isaac Asimov, Foundation

tags: humor, inspirational, philosophy, wisdom

7714 likes

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#20

“I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
― Mark Twain

tags: classic-insult, funeral, funny, humor

7621 likes

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#21

“I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.”
― Mae West

tags: humor, temptation

7019 likes

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#22

“I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.”
― Mark Twain

tags: humor, knowledge

6880 likes

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#23

“Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!

But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money!”
― George Carlin

tags: atheism, humor, life, religion

6664 likes

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#24

“I have great faith in fools - self-confidence my friends will call it.”
― Edgar Allan Poe, Marginalia

tags: faith, fool, humor, self-confidence, self-irony

6451 likes

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#25

“My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.”
― Winston S. Churchill

tags: humor, taste

5972 likes

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#26

“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”
― George Burns

tags: family, happiness, humor

5599 likes

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#27

“I have something I need to tell you," he says. I run my fingers along the tendons in his hands and look back at him. "I might be in love with you." He smiles a little. "I'm waiting until I'm sure to tell you, though."
"That's sensible of you," I say, smiling too. "We should find some paper so you can make a list or a chart or something."
I feel his laughter against my side, his nose sliding along my jaw, his lips pressing my ear.
"Maybe I'm already sure," he says, "and I just don't want to frighten you."
I laugh a little. "Then you should know better."
"Fine," he says. "Then I love you.”
― Veronica Roth, Divergent

tags: beatrice, divergent, humor, love, tobias

5437 likes

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#28

“If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember.”
― Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies

tags: cats, humor, life

5163 likes

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#29

“You guessed? You must have been pretty sure, considering you could have killed me."
"I was ninety percent sure."
"I see," Clary said. There must have been something in her voice, because he turned to look at her. Her hand cracked across his face, a slap that rocked him back on his heels. He put his hands on his cheek, more in surprise than pain.
"What the hell was that for?"
"The other ten percent.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

tags: humor, paranormal-romance

5139 likes

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#30

“If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

tags: humor, talking, writers

4821 likes

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humor
misattributed-to-marilyn-monroe
philosophy
jace-wayland
simon-lewis
attributed-no-source
human-nature
infinity
science
stupidity
universe
animals
books
dogs
friends
deadlines
humour
work
writing
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women
death
fear
life
calvin-and-hobbes
health
misattributed-mark-twain
misprints
creativity
misattributed-to-einstein
paraphrased
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demons
growing-up
luke
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misattributed-douglas-adams
wit
inspirational
activism
pleasure
politics
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religion
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atheism
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