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Do you recommend this book for a 16 yr old girl? The girl read Room a few years ago and wasn't upset about the upsetting stuff and actually loved the book.

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Ophelia jesus christ reading some of these answers you'd think you'd asked about a 6 year old not a 16 year old; yes, it's completely fine for a teenager to read this; not only fine, but smart because it explores a lot of traps people can fall into when dealing with predators; just explain to her the trigger warnings and tell her that if she has any concerns and wants to discuss it with you, she can
ValeriesBooks Definitely not. It was hard to read even as an adult. The rape scenes are graphic and the narrators perspective romaticises the abuse. For a 16 year old this would be confusing and she might not recognise the abuse like an adult reader would.
Maria Adaway I am going to answer this as from my stand point that I am eighteen years old and loved this book and I have a sixteen year old sister too.

From me as the age I am now, I would not say this is something to hide from a sixteen year old. It's informative and well written and I think it is so important to read. When I was sixteen I would read and watch similar themes as shown in this book as well. Besides, as a sixteen year old, this topic is in a lot of teen shows (eg Riverdale although obviously in not so much detail). And you learn about this off the news and generally in everday life.

What's more, I have recommended this to my sister. I honestly think sixteen years olds can handle this well. Like I siad, it's nothing we are not unaware of anyway.
Kathryn Cope This is a difficult one. It's a fabulous book that raises important issues but perspective is everything in this novel. Adult readers quickly realise that the protagonist's point-of-view is unreliable. She romanticises the abuse she suffers as a coping mechanism. I would hate to think of a teenage girl reading the book and not understanding this. I'm not sure if I would have fully grasped this at 16.
Isabel I'm reading it and I'm 16, I think we've grown up in a society where things like this are discussed a lot and also put in media and such. Reading it, I find it disturbing and understand that it's abusive, although I'm quite familiar with texts of all kind and have read/watched things with similar themes and I understand it's abusive subject matter even though it's not explicitly said. It's not a yes or no question, it all depends on someone's experiences, hope this helps!
Muriel (The Purple Bookwyrm) Yes, absolutely! Or at least, it all depends on the 16 year-old. I'd read both Lolita and Lady Chatterley's Lover by the time I was 16, the former of which remains a favourite novel to this day (re-read it last year, most definitely held up!). I'd also read adult fantasy such as The Chronicles of Pern. So, honestly, it really depends on the individuals' intellectual and emotional maturity.
Jane Oldenburg No. As a mother of 5 and a high school and middle school literature teacher, much of the nuances may be lost on you. It is somewhat graphic in nature, but most importantly the plot and characters are disturbing. The main character in this novel is just not thinking straight and has been brainwashed. Someone as young as 16 may think that what happens to Vanessa is her choice, but do not be fooled. It is not. Skip this and read something else. If you are interested in some cool thriller lit, check out the author Ruth Ware.
Meah I read it and am 16 years old. I don't regret reading it, but it was shocking and I would have liked to know beforehand about the very graphic rape scenes. As other answers have said, I am sure there are elements of the book that I am too young and immature to understand. I had to ask for clarification on many actions depicted in the book. Overall, if a 16-year-old would like to read it and is adamant about it, then it would be fine. It might be helpful to explain that there are extremely graphic scenes to lighten the shock. It is a book that should be read by most women, however, the age when this happens should only occur when they feel ready.
Sophie It definitely depends on the person. I’m 16 and I believe i understood this completely. It is very clear how the main character was manipulated and groomed, yet you understand why she fell for it (i’m not saying it’s her fault at all). It is also very clear how she romanticized the abuse, and you know that going into it, and not to believe it. She is a very complicated main character and I wanted to hug her at times and yell at her at others. I do think this was very graphic at times, and I wish I knew that going into it. I would say just make sure she understands what it is about and what she is about to read.
Meghan I would NOT recommend a 16yo read this. The book is written from a teen's point of view and I would worry that a young person wouldn't recognize that it's not a romance novel, as that's how the teen sees it.
Hannah As a 18 year old yes, you could read and enjoy this book. Every reader is different and is able to deal with confronting issues in different ways. I found myself having to put the book down and process specific moments of abuse but didn't find it overly 'upsetting', just confronting and thought provoking. I feel as though the question is not can she read it, yes, she can and probably processes these issues in a similar manner as I did. However, will she be able appreciate the topics talked about and realise that whilst these are difficult moments to read they are necessary and defining in the overall message of the novel? If so, I suggests she picks it up.
Debbie Hagan Personally, I wouldn't recommend it. The sex scenes are rather graphic. What would concern me even more, though, is the narrator's perspective, believing this relationship was good for her, how it helped her by giving her self confidence, how some girls are just more mature and can handle a relationship with an older man than others. Vanessa craves his attention and adoration. This could potentially skew a young girl's thinking, believing this is a valid viewpoint, when, in fact, it is abusive on a number of levels. If this were my daughter, I'd want, at minimum, to have a discussion with her about the book and the narrator's view. Legally this is rape.
Cathy O'Neal That is definitely a tough call. You know the 16-year-old in question much better. I would have read it when I was 16, but then my mother never censored anything I wanted to read. I think I would have been as horrified then as I was now. It could also be a really strong cautionary tale. Your call.
Gabrielle Jarrett I would make it required reading for teen girls.
Janet Allen I'm a 52-year-old woman and this is a tough read. The depictions of rape are graphic. There is much of this a 16-year-old would not understand. IMHO. This is quite different from Room.
Andrea That's a tough call !!!!! It reads like it could have been a memoir the sex scenes are explicit and it is extremely disturbing. Personally , I think its probably a bit much for a young girl as it even references how their brains aren't fully developed at the age . And the concepts are very adult. Hope that helps!
Judith Frasca Yes, absolutely a 16 yer old could read this.
Jennifer Gray I would most certainly NOT recommend it for a teen, boy or girl.
Dominic This book fundamentally is about the subtle evil of the narcissist and the invisible pain of someone suffering from Complex-PTSD. I don't think the book would traumatise a 16 year old, it would simply go over their head. However, it can play a role in their life possibly as a warning to a very similar dynamic which happens more often but with just as damaging consequences: at university when a narcissistic 3rd year targets an naive and vulnerable fresher and "keeps" them for as long as is convenient.
Robert Blumenthal If Room was okay with you, then I think you are safe with this one. I would definitely require that she discuss the book with you as she is reading it.
Kim Bergshoeff 16 year old me would have read this without any problem, but I am Dutch and grew up in a very open society. And, needless to say, I read a lot of books. It depends on the person and what their frame of reference is. And most importantly: do they want to read it?
Kerry I wouldn't let anyone under 18 read this book.
Stephanie This is difficult to answer. I finished this a few days ago and I cannot stop thinking about it. It was difficult to read and left my stomach churning. While I believe there are valuable lessons for young teens to learn from this book, I'm not sure I would recommend someone so young this just yet.
Crystal Hansen Yes. That being said, this is a book that requires conversation. Let her read it, but talk about it as she does. I do not believe in censoring what teenagers read. They need to be aware that things like this happen, and books are a safe place to learn about them. It scares me when I see people trying to shield their kids and teens from difficult topics. They need to know. The world is not a kind place. They need to be prepared.
Mari I'd show just the beginning of the book to the 16 y.o. girl. So she knows for the future that when a teacher says something like "your hair is like marple leaves" she should scream and run away as quickly as possible.
Jane I'm 15 and had no issues with it and fully understood that it's about abuse (it's literally in the blurb and it's pretty obvious throughout despite Vanessa resembling an unreliable narrator). As long as the person reading it understands that this is about abuse and not a romantic relationship I think it's fine.
Mariam I read this when I was 15. A lot of adults here are saying "Absolutely not, you wouldn't understand." Maybe for some teenagers, they wouldn't. It's ultimately up to you to decide whether you're in the right mindset to understand biased narration, nuances, and read such disgusting, horrible things. But that applies to everyone, not just teenagers. We're growing up in a time where social media/activism/battling rape culture is really prominent. A few years ago I thought possessiveness in romance was "hot" and that's not the case anymore because there's so much more awareness. I wouldn't shy away from this book because of age BUT there are other reasons this book might not be for someone, so I'd look into that.
Rilo At what age did you read Lolita and how did you feel about it? As always, it depends upon the 16 year old. As a parent I always applaud reading and not censorship. However, my children are adults now.
Cleo Everyone has their own level of intellectual capability. But, the answer to this question depends on whether the said teenager has the right environment or has a safe space to discuss the subject material.

I strongly disagree that the main character romanticizes abuse as she had (in multiple chapters) talked about escaping it and fearing it and being repulsed by it albeit in a flowery language that talks about oceans and groceries. In fact, Vanessa employs a defensive mechanism of denial and rebrands her abuse as a love story to live with her own self-loathing.

The language Russell uses is straightforward enough that young adults of varying backgrounds can appreciate the work. The book serves a dual purpose of being a realistic cautionary tale and conversation piece to a hot issue. In the right setting for discussion, it can be uplifting and empowering.

Melissa Mendez My parents never, ever restricted what I could read. It was around 15-16 my parents (also avid readers) started to pass on books to be they had already read, yes, sometimes I was shocked they passed it to me, but they were also really good books so it was something we shared as a family. They also suggested I read books about teens and sexuality and teens and drug use- I think it was easier for them to read a book and then discuss or not if we wanted to. I am very grateful for this- one for opening me up to authors I was not interested in at the time, but also for the content and the writing. I would let my daughters read this as a teen- and discuss the manipulation with them- you never know what they are going through in school or sports teams and you never know what their friends are going through unless you are willing to discuss it and let them know right from wrong and that you are here to help them. While I found the book too long and drawn out at times (I had to put it on 1.5x on audible to make it through), I think its a topic that HAS to be discussed with teens of all ages.
Sharon Sheppard Ugh. 16 yr old's will read want they want whether they understand or 'get' what's going on or not.

This book should be used in some sort of course on how to identify approaches by pedophiles. Funny how we hand out rape whistles to teenagers and say you're on your own, but young people are never given clear, practical information about stuff like id'ing the particular behaviors of sexual predators. It would actually be handy for young people to know given we live in a society where you can buy child pornography on the internet with a visa card. There are, unfortunately, way too many guys like Stane out there.

I would tell the 16 y.o. it's about a 15 y.o. who was psychologically groomed and manipulated to prime them for exploitation by a pedophile and how the experience altered the kid's and later adult's sense of self.

It totally illustrates how pedophiles appear average and normal and 'fit in' in all sorts of conventional settings like prep schools, universities, etc. and operate by trying to make their marks feel special and unique and draw them into secretive behavior etc.
Cathy Douglas I wouldn't suggest it to a teen, but if they already wanted to read it, I'd let them.

With adult guidance interpreting the characters it could be appropriate, even a very powerful choice for some kids. The most important thing would be to talk about the concept of an unreliable narrator, and about how the effects of abuse don't go away just because the abuse stops, or even when the abuser dies.

When I was a teen, any book adults said we shouldn't read was catnip to me. I would sure to find a way to read that book. It was not hard to find what I was looking for then, and even less so now. So if the teen shows interest in the book, I would give them a copy and then commit some time to discussing it with them. And make sure they understand the concept of an unreliable narrator before they even open it.
Beth I definitely would not recommend to a sixteen year old! I don't think a sixteen year old would be able to understand all the complexities, subtle points. It is a disturbing read. A teen may read this with a superficial understanding, but not understand the depth. Wait a few years.
Gwen Yes, when I was 16, I read Lolita and others with this theme.
Liv i’m 16 and read the book when i was 15! it’s a tough read for any age, but i think it’s an important one. it depends on the maturity level of the 16 year old, but definitely not off the table.
Dimitriy Yaroshchuk Y’all think teenagers are stupid.
Read this for my literature class when I was 16 and don’t worry, I get the point of the book.
April I don't think a 16-yer-old would "get" it the same way as an adult.
Zbegniew I'd say it depends on the girl. If she's intelligent, mature and thoughtful, then sure. If she's immature or troubled, I'd wait.
Sarah Yes. And get them to watch Sex Education on Netflix too.
Adam Wolstenholme Depends. I'd say as part of a varied diet, then many 16-year-olds would be riveted by this book and it would do them no harm. What makes me hesitate is that it portrays such a negative view of sex and relationships. Part of Vanessa's tragedy is that this is the only relationship she has. She never gets to fall in love with one of her peers and experience all the joys that entails. I hate the thought of an inexperienced 16-year-old reading this and thinking that's what relationships with men are like. Maybe temper it's negativity with something romantic.
C.J. Zahner No, no, no, and no!
Jess God no, unless she reads it with an adult so they can discuss the material from an adult's point of view because reading this as a teenager could easily be romanticized. Otherwise, no. I would have bought into the whole narrative as a teenager esp as someone who has experience with this stuff, so I'm glad I'm reading it now and can see it for what it is. I'm not advocating for teenagers not to read difficult and provocative work but pairing it with real discussions with an adult would be helpful.
Monica ... yes , everyone should read this including 16 year olds. Because truths bring awareness to hard issues we are faced with in this life , including pedophilia. 16 year olds are exposed all kinds of junk on social media. So be it one we wish upon none of them but a true life occurrence for so many. Again., truth our truths Vanessa's truths sets us free and hold all of us accountable to the process and understanding of how this happens and how we can begin the deep dialogue with our children to help prevent and begin the healing process.
Andrea Tobin absolutely not so much of her abuse was based on her thinking it was not abuse. a mature reader would be able to discern that fact.
Alice20042306 Hi! I'm 16 year old girl. Actually my teacher recommended this book to me and I absolutely would recommend this book for you. It is very graphic at times but to me it brought perspectives and made me think about it. At points it was quite disgusting to read. Overall I still recommend it!
Jessica Yes. I believe everyone should this book. If you are worried about the teen getting the wrong idea from this book just have a discussion before and after they read the book. Keeping these types of book from teens doesn't protect them. It just possibly makes them more vulnerable to being taken advantage of. Because they haven't been exposed to this type of situation.
Amber No, I am 37 and I was still very disturbed.
Lee No. I have a daughter who is seventeen and I wouldn't recommend it for her. It is difficult for me to get through.
Kathleen I wish every teen girl could read it to make them aware of the subtle way a predatory man can groom and seduce them. The sex scenes would be too explicit for a young teen though. At the very least I wish every mother of a teenage girl would read it and warn her daughter.
Cynthia That depends very much on the 16yo.

There's a certain amount of texturing and stock-taking by the narrator in her 30's that I think makes it a little harder read than simply being the story of what happened to her when she was 15.

There's being intellectually old enough to "get" a book but there are a lot of books it took me far longer to be able to appreciate and work through emotionally. This is in many ways a very wrenching read.
Linda Metzger Absolutely .....NO
Milie2112 No Way would I let a 16 year old read this. Perhaps you should read it yourself and then judge whether your daughter should read it.
As an adult I found the sex scenes to be really disturbing.
Damien Roberts I'd air with no. I also wasn't incredibly sensitive to what happened in Room, but this is VERY graphic and VERY unsettling. Its good, don't get me wrong...but it is not Room.
June Lim No.I think the sex scene are very explicit for that age.Talking and explaining the edited content to a 16 year would be great especially covering the thinking and intentions of the teacher.
Avid I do not recommend this for a 16yo girl. However, if my 16yo daughter wanted to read it, i would not try to keep her from it. I just wouldn’t recommend it to her.
C (one.chapteratatime) This is nothing like ROOM. Room mentions rape in the background as it is told by the child who hears a bed squeaking. This has fully detailed rape of a 15 year old repeatedly. When she is 16 in the book she still regularly has sex with the teacher and convinces herself it is okay and no one else understands. The book takes the stance eventually that Vanessa was too young and chances are your daughter is too.
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by Kate Elizabeth Russell (Goodreads Author)
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