P.J. Fox's Blog, page 35

Readers, Your Input Is Needed!

I tried this question a few days ago, but the conversation got derailed.

As far as upcoming projects, The White Queen is of course coming out on August 26.  The sequel to The Price of Desire, A Dictionary of Fools, is also coming out shortly (although specific release dates aren’t something I have yet, for that one).  So that’s the next installment in each series, so whichever’s your favorite that’s hopefully good news!  I’m also working on my contributions to a horror anthology, I, Demon.  Which I think will also have some great stuff in it, for both old readers and new.  There are a couple of novellas, as well as a number of short stories.

But the question is, beyond that, what should I write next?  I have my own ideas about this, of course, but I’d love some reader feedback.  Should I finish The Black Prince Trilogy?  Work on something else entirely?

In the pipeline are:

The Black Prince , the third and final installment in The Black Prince Trilogy
The Pleasures of the Grave , the third installment in The House of Light and Shadow
A Thousand and One Nights , my stand-alone novel set in modern day
My as-yet untitled personal memoir
An as-yet untitled (but outlined) guide to success in indie publishing
The first volume in my as-yet untitled (but again planned) epic fantasy series
[the product of your choosing--describe in the comments, below]

I want your feedback!

Cover Art Reveal for ‘Exile’ by James Cormier

pjfoxwrites:

So excited!

Originally posted on Evil Toad Press:

We’re so excited to reveal the cover art for Exile by James Cormier.  Part one of The Book of Ever trilogy, Exile is a young adult science fiction novel set in a postapocalyptic United States.  Exile will be released by Evil Toad Press in August 2014.

Centuries after the Fall, the United States has been wiped away.  The crumbling remains of the great American empire are home now only to savage, lawless tribes and packs of ravening Damned—the twisted children of the apocalypse.  Most of those few who survived humanity’s destruction spend their short lives in a violent struggle for survival.  But some light still flickers in the darkness: the Blessed of Bountiful live in seclusion, relying on walls both physical and spiritual to protect them from the Desolation that their world has become.  Among them are the Saints, those few men and women born with superhuman abilities that…

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How Did You Write So Many Books, So Quickly?

The short answer is: I didn’t.

The longer answer begins with an observation (the regrettably late) Richard Laymon made years ago when asked how long it took him to write a book.  His reply was that it took twenty five years and six months: six months to write the book, twenty five years to learn how to write.  And I’ve found that, at least going by my own experiences, that that’s accurate.  I started writing a great deal less than twenty five years ago, of course, but the theory is the same.  Before I produced anything readable, I produced garbage; and before that, I struggled to produce anything at all.  As my actual writing skills have improved, so have my production skills.

These days, I can more or less budget six months per manuscript.  Some, like The Price of Desire, have taken me a great deal longer.  Others, like The Demon of Darkling Reach, just came pouring out.  The White Queen took me just about six months.  None of which, of course, explains how I’ve managed to produce five books (The Price of Desire, The Demon of Darkling Reach, I Look Like This Because I’m A Writer, and the forthcoming A Dictionary of Fools and The White Queen) in seemingly less than three months.

Which, therein comes the magic.  Of rejection.  You see, before I decided to go ahead and take matters into my own hands, I dealt with agent after agent telling me no and on a very long timeline.  Why it should take someone a year to write back to you and tell you, I’m not interested is a mystery to me.  And, indeed, one of the reasons I decided to go the indie route was also that this “hurry up and wait” philosophy just didn’t work for me.  We’re all only given so much time on this earth; I didn’t want to spend it waiting for some arbitrary gatekeeper to decide if my writing was any good.  I’d rather let potential readers do that.

I was still working on The White Queen when The Demon of Darkling Reach came out; were this a traditional publishing situation, you, the reader, would still be looking at another year or so before The White Queen hit shelves–regardless of when I’d written it.  But, this being the world of indie, the only thing standing between you and a completed book is the actual nuts and bolts of turning a manuscript into a completed book.

Because I kept writing while I thrilled to the word “no,” over and over again, I have quite a backlog.  Not all of it is publishable in its current state–or ever.  A few things are half done; some I plan on going back to finish (for example, a stand alone novel set in the modern day), and some I don’t.  But between the last of this run of books coming out (A Dictionary of Fools will hopefully be hitting shelves before Halloween) and the next offering, you’re probably looking at a wait time of six to eight months.

Which begs the question: what are you most hoping I’ll work on next?

In the pipeline are:

The Black Prince , the third and final installment in The Black Prince Trilogy
The Pleasures of the Grave , the third installment in The House of Light and Shadow
A Thousand and One Nights , my stand-alone novel set in modern day
My as-yet untitled personal memoir
I, Demon , a compilation of horror shorts and one novella
An as-yet untitled (but outlined) guide to success in indie publishing
The first volume in my as-yet untitled (but again planned) epic fantasy series

I’d love your feedback!

The White Queen Arrives August 26!

Good news!  The White Queen, the second installment in The Black Prince Trilogy and the sequel to The Demon of Darkling Reach, hits shelves (and Amazon) on August 26!  Fans of TDODR will have their most burning questions answered and, for new fans, The White Queen is both a sequel and a complete tale in its own right: of one woman’s confusion, and of one man’s struggles–and, ultimately, of how a demon becomes a man and a man, in turn, becomes a demon.  Of what happens when we turn our back on the light to court the darkness within.

Follow along for continuing updates!

The Writing Guide is OUT!

Good news!  I Look Like This Because I’m A Writer has been released–and early!  This week, it’s only available on Kindle; by the end of next week, the print version should be available as well.

I am very excited about this book, and believe that its contents represent some of the best of me.  I owe a debt of gratitude, too, to the authors who took time out of their busy personal and professional schedules to read advance copies, and to blurb me (you’ll see more on the back cover, when the print version comes out, but in the meantime you can read more on Amazon).  I hope that, if you purchase it (or borrow it through the Kindle lending library), you enjoy reading it as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it.

Gratitude: A How-To Guide

Gratitude isn’t about pretending that everything’s perfect, when it isn’t; or about refusing to recognize–and thus arm ourselves to effectively deal with–the real problems in our lives.  The first is insanity; the second is cowardice.  Only someone who’s completely out of touch with reality responds to every situation in the exact same way.  Being “happy all the time,” regardless of one’s circumstances, is being fake.  To others but, worst of all, to yourself.  Real happiness isn’t that cheap.  And pretending everything’s fine is, past a point, also a means by which those with no real moral courage convince themselves that there’s “nothing they can do” or, conversely, nothing they need to do.  No.  Gratitude is about choosing to interpret the events of your life through a different lens.  The lens of this is an opportunity rather than the lens of, this is an excuse to feel sorry for myself.

So, take the following list.  I’m not pretending that these things don’t suck; I’m saying, there’s something in them to feel good about.  Something in them that’s inspiring.

This morning, I broke my foot.  Well, hey.  My primary occupation is sedentary; this would be a lot worse if I danced for a living, or were in construction.  I can write, and edit, sitting down, with no real loss of productivity.  Moreover, I have family members who love me and are willing to do things like bring me snacks so I don’t have to keep getting up.  And hey, I have snacks!  And a roof over my head!  And my house is in a safe place, where I can work outside on the porch with no fear of anything happening to me–unlike much of the world’s population!  And I have access to excellent medical care.  Hey, this really isn’t so bad.
My son took advantage of my condition to smear poop all over the walls.  Well, it’s only poop and poop washes off.  He, too, is happy and healthy and safe.  He didn’t do it to spite me; toddlers are incapable of real spite.  He’s just expressing his creative spirit.  Hooray, I’m glad he has such a creative spirit!
Money is tight right now.  Which is to be expected, when you switch careers.  We have what we need and, most importantly, we have each other.  Mr. PJ is gainfully employed.  Money comes and goes, but the opportunity to wake up every morning excited to do what you love and share that with the world is worth more than any check for any amount.

See?  Everything’s fine.  I finished reviewing the galleys for I Look Like This Because I’m A Writer, and now I’m going to switch gears and start editing the sequel to The Price of Desire.  I had written both books, originally, last summer, while I was bedridden with a serious illness and thus had plenty of time on my hands–and no real ability to do anything that involved more than sitting up.  I spent the next few months trying to court an agent and, when that failed, I decided to go out on my own.  And then I realized, hey, I can also help other people!  So that was pretty awesome, and that’s when I and a couple of other folks decided to start Evil Toad Press.  The upside is that I have a lot more material waiting in the wings and ready to go than a lot of writers, which is pretty fantastic.  The biggest thing slowing me down right now, in terms of getting my work out there, is coming up with the funds for each individual book.

That and, of course, the fact that I have other obligations.  You know, real life and all.  But really, on the whole, that’s a pretty awesome problem to have.

Praise for The Price of Desire

Highlights from various reviews around the web include…

“The Price of Desire is military science fiction at its finest.  It’s a story of two people–a psychologically damaged Imperial naval commander and the woman he rescues from slavers while en route to an assignment meant to end his career–finding a common fate against a backdrop of galactic imperialism, war, and revolt.”

“The characters have become so real to me that I often find myself thinking of them as actual friends and acquaintances. When I face a difficult daily decision, I ask myself: what would Kisten do? How would Aria handle this? It’s that level of great.”

“The book’s treatment of PTSD is subtle, but powerful: it slowly becomes clear that Kisten’s emotional disabilities have very precise causes, and the choices he makes (as well as the feelings he has) both leading up to the story’s opening and throughout the narrative will ring true for anyone who has experienced this kind of trauma. Aria, too, suffers from the same symptoms, albeit with a different, no less serious cause. It might sound corny, but it’s really a story about redemption lying around the next corner. It spoke to me very powerfully at a very difficult time in my life, and I look forward to seeing what awaits these characters as they move forward.”

“I was on a cruise when I started this and couldn’t put it down!”

“I can honestly say I was shocked at how much it had me interested and WANTING to read.”

“The Price of Desire will appeal to fans of science fiction and fans of adventure and intrigue alike.  It has been described as The Far Pavilions meets Starship Troopers, an engaging combination of M.M. Kaye’s romantic adventure and Heinlein’s hard-boiled militarism.  Its characters are real, damaged, people, struggling to make their way in an increasingly uncertain universe.”

Interested?  The Price of Desire is available on Amazon, and through all major retailers!

Dealing With Bad Reviews: Advice For Authors

I love this article by Matthew Dunn.  I particularly like how he reinforces the point that, as an author, you don’t have to “deal with” bad reviews and, in fact, shouldn’t.  You should rise above the situation and, instead, realize some things about the reviewer himself.  He points out, “The majority of people who couldn’t write a book are very successful in other ways – their jobs, family life, friendships, hobbies etc. They would never consider disparaging someone by writing a 1 star review. But abject failures want other people to fail [emphasis added].”

He’s right.  They do.  You wouldn’t believe–or maybe you would–the backlash when I published my first book.  Especially from other would-be writers.  Some people were passive aggressive; others were downright horrid.  And by horrid, I mean, “you’re qualifying for your own Lifetime movie on the evils of cyberbullying” horrid.  Which brings me to the best part of Dunn’s article, which I’m sharing here:

HATERS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN AROUND, BUT NOW THEY HAVE A VOICE.

That voice is the Internet. When Sir Tim Berners-Lee invented the net so that we could stop doing annoying things like going for a healthy walk and talking to people face to face, it quickly became a voice for the masses. Unfortunately, as ever, a small percentage of the masses just plain and simple doesn’t like life. You’ll find their embittered ramblings in the comments sections under news stories, in nonsensical Tweets, and in Amazon reviews.

Before the arrival of the Internet, newspapers were pretty much the only place one could vent one’s opinion in print. But if one wrote a rambling, illiterate, vitriolic letter to the editor of The Times, hoping it would be posted in the newspaper’s “Letters Page”, the editor would simply tear it up because it was not worthy of being included in his prestigious, literate, and intelligent paper. The Internet, by comparison, has very few checks and balances and virtually no quality control.

So, if you get a review from a hater, just remember: he hates his life and, tragically, is probably going to kill himself soon.

His reference to suicide is, of course, tongue in cheek.  Suicide is no laughing matter.  Neither, of course, is the fact that we live in a world where people get their kicks out of bringing each other down.  And yet we have to laugh, at some point, or the burden of knowledge–that this is what we’ve come to, collectively–can be simply too much.

Another piece of advice he offers is to never feed the trolls:

People who write bad reviews want you to bite by responding to their review. Why? So that they’ve got your attention, can – aged 40 – momentarily stop surfing the net for porn in their loft bedroom in their parents’ house, and can briefly gain an “Internet Friend”. An Internet Friend doesn’t have to be someone who likes the hater. “Like” has nothing to do with it. Instead, the hater is hoping to connect with someone, whether positively or negatively.

What do these haters hate the most? Silence and being ignored. It eats at them, makes them desperate, angry, and probably makes them want to throw themselves out of the loft window. Head first. Let them do that. It’s not against the law for you to do so.

This is worthwhile advice to remember, but hard advice to take.  Extremely hard.  Especially if you’re in the position, which many of us–including myself–find ourselves in, of knowing the person who chose to leave a bad review.  For, naturally, unstated reasons of their own.  Rare is the person who writes, “I’m leaving this hateful review because I’m a jilted superfan, who has a problem with the fact that you’re already married.”  That would, ah, rather reduce their credibility.  Rather, they tear your book apart in the hopes that this will hurt your book sales.  Which isn’t really any different, if you think about it, than stealing someone’s toolbox or setting fire to their truck.  You have an issue with them; you want to sabotage their livelihood.

And especially when you have a child to support, someone casually–or, indeed, with malice aforethought–trying to sabotage your livelihood is incredibly hard.  Facing the fact that people who do not know you could bear you such ill will is incredibly hard.  But you have to ignore it.  Not because, as Dunn (correctly) suggests, it will hurt the hater but because doing anything else will hurt you.

At the end of the day, you can’t be responsible for others’ conduct.  You can’t be responsible for how even well-intentioned readers who actually are strangers see your book, or whether they hate it, or what they decide to say about it.  And you certainly can’t be responsible for the actions of people who’ve proven that things like the golden rule mean nothing to them.  Someone who actually knows you, through whatever channels, who chooses to bite back at you in this way, is beyond your power to help.  Trust me on this.

Pouring your energy into trying to fix other people is like pouring your energy into a black hole.  The only result you’ll get is making yourself miserable–and, of course, draining valuable time and energy away from other, more worthwhile pursuits.  Like writing your next book.  Or, indeed, getting outside and enjoying some time with your family.  The only person you can be responsible for is you; don’t let another person’s conduct, whatever their intentions, or your belief about their intentions, compromise your values.

Do negative reviews affect sales?  I don’t know.  I think so.  But so do positive reviews.  Focus your energy on believing in yourself, and in believing in the quality of your product.  And on writing your next book.  Haters–of all stripes–will hate, but I do honestly believe that cream rises.  In the end, regardless of what people say, or whether everyone understands your vision, quality will out.  Remember the ugly duckling?  When you read those negative reviews, remind yourself: these ducks think my duckling is ugly, because it’s a swan.

Kirkus Indie Is a Scam

So let me tell you about my experience with Kirkus Indie, a publication which claims to provide professional and unbiased reviews of indie books.

For a fee, of course.

But that’s not my problem.  Nor is the idea that one might pay a fee and, in return, get a spectacularly bad review.  Honestly, speaking as both an editor and a consumer here, I’d hope so!  The idea of paying for good reviews would be even worse of a scam than the one I’m discussing.  No, my problem with the good folks at Kirkus Indie is that they take your money and then don’t read the book.  And it’s not cheap, either.  So while no, I’m not expecting to pay for a good review, I am expecting to pay for a review.  A review that involves reading the book and then having some, you know, cogent opinions about its contents.  Again.  Contents.

Mr. PJ had a long and storied tenure as the editor of his various school publications; he informed me that if someone had submitted this review to him in high school, he would have told them to go back to the drawing board and that they could do better.  So what did the review consist of?  In essence, first a cut and paste from the blurb on the back cover followed by a thought that I can only cogently summarize as, “this isn’t fantasy, because it doesn’t seem much like Terry Brooks.”  Which, well…no!  It doesn’t seem much like Terry Brooks.  But no actual mention of the characters, their evolution, or the actual plot of the book was mentioned.  Because, you know, pretty obviously, the so-called “reviewer” clearly didn’t read the book.

Since I write my own blurbs, what I essentially did was pay some unnamed, faceless person a premium for reading my own words back to me.  And believe me, don’t I feel stupid.  In fact, so stupid that I really don’t feel like writing this post–much less hitting the “publish” button.  But I am, because I want other authors to benefit from my experience.  Better that I look stupid, than that the rest of you waste your hard-earned money.

I’d never purchased a Kirkus Indie review before and, based on this experience, never will again.  I understand the appeal; it’s hard to get people to review your books, even on Amazon.  And I’ve offered a lot of people a lot of review copies, most of which they haven’t wanted.  Which, well…the thing about writing is, you kind of have to check your ego at the door.  But part of me does wonder if Kirkus Indie doesn’t essentially exist as a vanity offering: quote the person’s own blurb back to them, more or less, and you never risk saying anything to offend the paying customer.  Never really get into depth and, well, you never really get into depth.

So the bottom line is this: you’re being charged a premium for something that, at least in my experience, you’re not getting.  One of my more disappointing experiences, in college, was being informed by my thesis advisor that he’d given me an A on my thesis because he hadn’t had time to read it, and didn’t want me to contest the grade.  Because, you see, he knew that he’d been unethical; by throwing that sop to Cerberus, he (he thought) gave us what we both wanted.  And he did, in a sense; I didn’t contest the grade.  I just felt kind of disillusioned.  But see, at least he knew that what he was doing was wrong.

So save your money, or at least give it to someone who’s serious about earning it; and who’s serious enough about their own reputation to do their job.

What To Expect at a Mormon Wedding

So, your friend is a Mormon.  Or, as he’s apt to say, LDS.  A member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  And you’ve been invited to his wedding and while you’re excited for him, you’re also vaguely worried that actually showing up for the grand event means you’ll be set upon by crazy cultists hell-bent on converting you.  And what happens at these shindigs, anyway?  Just how strange are they?

Here’s a handy primer on what to expect.

First, if your friend is getting married in the Temple, and you’re not LDS, then you haven’t been invited to the actual ceremony but to either the reception or the reception and a second, less formal ceremony usually referred to by Mormons as the “ring ceremony.”  The ring ceremony is what will contain all the things that, to non-Mormons, traditionally say “wedding.”  Flowers, music, readings, marches down the aisle, all of these things are appropriate at a ring ceremony and are, at the same time, totally absent from a Temple sealing.

I’ve written more about it elsewhere on my blog, but here’s a short primer on what a sealing actually is (and isn’t):

A Mormon wedding, called a sealing, is performed inside a Temple in a special–and really pretty deluxe–room called a sealing room.  Sealing rooms are small; the large ones usually accommodate only 40 or so guests, so even at a wedding where everyone’s capable of attending the actual ceremony most aren’t invited to it.  Rather, they’re invited to the reception.  Mormons believe that families can be together, not just in this lifetime but in the eternities.  Getting sealed in the Temple is our earthly means of accomplishing this goal.  Other types of sealings occur in Temples, too–such as, for example, the sealing of adopted children to their parents (which, if anyone’s interested in learning more, let me know and I’ll address the topic in another post).

Only those members who’ve previously been endowed and who are in good standing with the church can attend a sealing.  Which, to those used to, say, Catholic (or other types of more mainstream Christian) weddings can cause a lot of confusion.  And anger.  Sometimes, people feel as though they’re being purposefully excluded; as though they’re being relegated to the role of second class citizens, because they’re not Mormon.

This could not be further from the truth.  All religions have a cultural, as well as a faith-based component and I think this topic would be easier to address if people realized how different their expectations were.  Mormons, especially those from parts of the world where everyone’s Mormon, are often flummoxed by these responses because they don’t understand them.  They’re used to being excluded from sealings, too.  Religion aside, the Mormon cultural expectation is that only close family and maybe one or two friends will attend the actual sealing.  Younger siblings who haven’t been endowed don’t attend.  Worthy Mormons who simply haven’t been through the Temple yet don’t attend.  People who the sealing room can’t fit don’t attend.  Growing up as a Mormon, you grow up thinking this is normal–because, to you, it is.  The real fun is at the reception, anyway.

But to people who’ve grown up thinking that “wedding” means everyone and their uncle sees the ceremony, this can be devastating.  And I think the mystique around sealings is where a lot of the “cult” rumors come from.  What are they doing in there, anyway?  The truth is, they’re not doing anything all that unusual or different.  But many of the things you’d expect to see at, again, say, a Catholic wedding–readings, ring ceremonies, etc–simply don’t happen at a sealing.  Sealings, rather, are essentially the same for everyone.  A high degree of personalization reflects ego, which is inappropriate within the Temple; where the focus should be on the bride and groom (and everyone else) as servants of God and on how everyone is equal in God’s eyes.

Which means that the good news is, if your friend does have a ring ceremony, you’ll be enjoying all those “wedding” things for the first time right along with him.  A ring ceremony is, in some respects, similar to any other wedding ceremony; and, like any other wedding ceremony, can be either extremely simple or the epicenter of the world’s greatest hoopla.  This is where, if there are any, you’ll see bridesmaids, etc.  There will be an officiant, usually the couple’s bishop; he’ll give a short talk, and then the couple will exchange rings.

If your friend isn’t having a ring ceremony, then you’ll arrive for the reception.  Arrive on time; these are not events where “fashionably late” is appropriate.  And if you’re wondering…

What should I wear?  Appropriate attire for church events is a suit and tie for men, and a dress (or a more formal skirt and blouse combination) for women.  Of course, if you’re not a member, then the same standards of dress are not expected of you.  And, in any case, we’re all free to do as we please.  However, for those who want to blend in, it’s worth pointing out that Mormons themselves will not wear anything sleeveless or, for women, a skirt that hits substantially above the knee.  Which doesn’t mean you need to kit yourself up like an extra from Little House on the Prairie ; we shop at the same stores you do!  Just not, you know, for tube tops.
What gift should I bring?  Gifts of money, household appliances, art, or, of course, something from the couple’s wedding registry (if they have one) are appropriate.  Practical gifts, such as toaster ovens, are especially appreciated as this is not a couple who’ve (if they’re members of the church in good standing) ever lived together before or had a chance, as many modern couples do, to build up their own stock of these supplies.  Gifts of alcohol, tobacco, or sex-related “gag” gifts are not appropriate.  We must have gotten a hundred bottles of wine, between getting engaged and actually getting married, from well-meaning acquaintances.  Which, while we appreciated their generosity of spirit, Mormons do not drink.  This is a prohibition that all practicing Mormons take extremely seriously; there is really no such thing as a “cafeteria Mormon.”  So please, when selecting a gift, be considerate!
What will happen?  Overall, more or less the same thing that happens at every wedding reception: a plated dinner involving a chicken breast that looks specifically like an embalmed hamster, and the opportunity to make awkward small talk with the table mates you’ve never seen before.  Then there will be dancing, and cake.  And, although there’s no religious injunction against having a huge blow-out wedding, per se, most Mormons do tend to favor a less expensive wedding and thus save their pennies for something else.  The idea that more money equals more serious, is absent from the Mormon way of thinking.

Most Mormon wedding receptions are relatively sedate.  No alcohol will be served.  Depending on that particular family’s tradition, there may or may not be toasts offered at the actual wedding reception; many families, if they have them at all (and some don’t) have them at the rehearsal dinner the night before.  Unless you are specifically asked to give a toast, do not get up and do so.  Do not assume that “open mic”-type toasts are welcome; they’re usually not.  And if you do give a toast, remember that toasts with sexual content, however mild, are unwelcome.  Implying intimate knowledge between the bride and groom is not only rude, but suggesting that both may have committed a serious transgression in the eyes of the church.  A transgression serious enough to, potentially, result in disfellowshipping.

Likewise, although there probably will be dancing, anything even approaching dirty dancing is in extremely poor taste.  No twerking, no below the belt touching of any kind, including with your spouse.  Mormons enjoy sex (a lot), just not in public.  Moreover, although I’ve heard of this happening at some weddings, at the vast majority of weddings I’ve been to activities like rummaging around for the bride’s garter belt are also unwelcome.  The goal of every social event, even remotely connected to the church, is to have as much fun as possible while keeping it clean.  And, in the case of a wedding, reverent: both for the bride and groom as individuals, who probably don’t want to be pawed, or otherwise made to feel awkward by having their personal boundaries violated, but also for God.  This is, after all, a celebration of what’s arguably the single most important ordinance within the church.

Topics of conversation to avoid:

Why the bride and groom didn’t get married in the Temple, if they didn’t.  To get married, or sealed, within the Temple both the bride and groom must adhere to an extremely strict standard of personal conduct.  If they’re both members of the church, and not getting married in the Temple, the reason may be due to immorality in one or both parties.  Bringing this up is thus awkward.  Mormons, as a rule, take an extremely dim view of premarital sex or, indeed, premarital sexual contact of any kind.  This is not a subject for jokes; it is not funny.
What you think of the church.  If you have questions, that’s great; Mormons (like most people) love to answer questions about themselves.  What’s not appropriate is launching into a “discussion” of why you think the religion is stupid, or cult-like.  Use the golden rule, here, and common sense; if you wouldn’t want a total stranger attacking your way of life, then don’t turn around and do the same thing to someone else.
Alcohol.  However massively awesome your “when I was drunk” stories are, no one at the table will be able to relate.

And remember, finally, that although the groom isn’t directly responsible for your conduct, and isn’t going to be held responsible for another person’s conduct, as we all have free agency, your behavior is going to reflect on him.  On him, and on the bride.  You don’t want to embarrass your friend at his wedding, or for the impression you leave with a bunch of complete strangers to be, “gosh, what a horse’s ass.”  Participating in a new cultural experience should be fun, and a chance to learn!

And remember: so long as you keep a good attitude and an open mind, remembering that there are lots of different ways to have fun (with and without alcohol) and that people are people, even if they seem different from you on the outside, you’ll be fine.