Chris Rodell's Blog, page 47
November 10, 2016
A presidential "Last Baby Boomer" excerpt
It is said great satire doesn’t mimic the times, it predicts them.
I wrote the following “Last Baby Boomer” excerpt in 2004. It’s about how minor TV star used a progression of popular sitcoms to in 2032 become president. It would, ahem, be unseemly for me to declare its greatness.
But I have no problem letting another 5-star amazon review do it for me. It’s at the bottom.
I think
I wrote the following “Last Baby Boomer” excerpt in 2004. It’s about how minor TV star used a progression of popular sitcoms to in 2032 become president. It would, ahem, be unseemly for me to declare its greatness.
But I have no problem letting another 5-star amazon review do it for me. It’s at the bottom.
I think
November 9, 2016
Questions about the bully in the bully pulpit
(696 words)
I can’t tell today whether America needs a marriage counselor or a divorce attorney.
So many questions …
Can you use campaign contributions for bail money?
Locking up Hillary Clinton was a primal mantra of Donald Trump’s supporters. They felt the way about seeing that come to pass the way I felt about sensible legislation to address climate change.
Trump promised he
I can’t tell today whether America needs a marriage counselor or a divorce attorney.
So many questions …
Can you use campaign contributions for bail money?
Locking up Hillary Clinton was a primal mantra of Donald Trump’s supporters. They felt the way about seeing that come to pass the way I felt about sensible legislation to address climate change.
Trump promised he
November 8, 2016
America's Last Undecided Voter .... Me!
(790 words)
If I have the guts to pull it off I’m pretty sure you’ll hear about it, which means I’m pretty sure you won’t.
It’s too bad, too, because I imagine it would be a dandy practical joke.
Like all great practical jokes there’s nothing practical about it. I’d do it because I think it would be funny.
It would involve hours of standing, pained expressions, flop sweat and
If I have the guts to pull it off I’m pretty sure you’ll hear about it, which means I’m pretty sure you won’t.
It’s too bad, too, because I imagine it would be a dandy practical joke.
Like all great practical jokes there’s nothing practical about it. I’d do it because I think it would be funny.
It would involve hours of standing, pained expressions, flop sweat and
November 7, 2016
Election leftovers and other random thoughts
• When I read that Janet Reno, our first female attorney general, died Sunday at 78, I thought, man, I hope she was an early Clinton voter. I wonder, if you’ve voted already and subsequently croak, does your vote still count? If I had time, I’d look into it. I do not. In fact, the election is tomorrow and I have about five or six related stories I won’t be getting to. I thought that was as
November 3, 2016
Cubs win! Let's all write-in Theo Epstein for Prez!
(669 words)
Something happened late last night that convinced me to do something I never dreamed I’d ever do.
I’m not voting for Hillary.
Trump? Hell, no.
Third party? I’ll not waste my vote.
What are my plans?
I’m writing in Theo Epstein!
If he can in just 12 years vanquish a collective 188 years of World Series droughts between the Boston Red Sox and the Chicago Cubs
Something happened late last night that convinced me to do something I never dreamed I’d ever do.
I’m not voting for Hillary.
Trump? Hell, no.
Third party? I’ll not waste my vote.
What are my plans?
I’m writing in Theo Epstein!
If he can in just 12 years vanquish a collective 188 years of World Series droughts between the Boston Red Sox and the Chicago Cubs
November 2, 2016
Hoping for Game 7 extra-extra innings
(665 words)
I’m thinking of DVRing tonight’s World Series game 7 and watching just two pitches every night until the game’s concluded about four months from now.
See, I like to savor my baseball.
No matter who wins tonight, I lose. I’ll be without baseball until pitchers and catchers report for Spring Training Feb. 18 (that’s 107 days, but who’s counting?).
But I recognize
I’m thinking of DVRing tonight’s World Series game 7 and watching just two pitches every night until the game’s concluded about four months from now.
See, I like to savor my baseball.
No matter who wins tonight, I lose. I’ll be without baseball until pitchers and catchers report for Spring Training Feb. 18 (that’s 107 days, but who’s counting?).
But I recognize
November 1, 2016
My favorite Bob Dylan story
(1,052 words)
My favorite Bob Dylan story is about the time he was arrested in Long Branch, N.J.
If you think he was arrested protesting some social injustice, you’re mistaken.
The man who wrote dozens of indelible protest songs has never to my knowledge deigned to ever protest any social injustice.
No, Dylan, was arrested for vagrancy. (Note: it wasn’t an official arrest, but he
My favorite Bob Dylan story is about the time he was arrested in Long Branch, N.J.
If you think he was arrested protesting some social injustice, you’re mistaken.
The man who wrote dozens of indelible protest songs has never to my knowledge deigned to ever protest any social injustice.
No, Dylan, was arrested for vagrancy. (Note: it wasn’t an official arrest, but he
October 31, 2016
A month in my mind; October's best tweets
Follow me @8days2Amish! It's like spending the entire month inside my head but without the hangovers...
• Ever-present distractions & video substitutes, for the first time in history humans are at risk of engaging in deliberate illiteracy.
• It may be that I'll always be broke, but by God I'll never be broken.
• I wonder if parents of boys born above the Arctic Circle ever
• Ever-present distractions & video substitutes, for the first time in history humans are at risk of engaging in deliberate illiteracy.
• It may be that I'll always be broke, but by God I'll never be broken.
• I wonder if parents of boys born above the Arctic Circle ever
October 29, 2016
Mom's hip nipples & breast cancer awareness (from '13)
(737 words)
Me and the girls were coming home from seeing Pittsburgh’s giant rubber duckie when Nana told us the story of her migrating nipples.
It was a very surreal day.
I had trouble believing something that consequential could move around so easily.
And I’m talking about her nipples, not the great big duck, which I understand can be moved with a tug boat and steel cables.
So
Me and the girls were coming home from seeing Pittsburgh’s giant rubber duckie when Nana told us the story of her migrating nipples.
It was a very surreal day.
I had trouble believing something that consequential could move around so easily.
And I’m talking about her nipples, not the great big duck, which I understand can be moved with a tug boat and steel cables.
So
October 28, 2016
Lying about my height on my driver's license
(677 words)
My Pennsylvania driver’s license contains one bold-faced lie, a tall tale as it were.
It says I’m 5-foot-10. I’d need to stand on my tippy toes to reach 5’10.
I’m more like 5’7.
Why I chose to tell such a petty bureaucratic lie, I do not recall.
Maybe I thought a cop would be less likely to tangle with a 5’10 dude. Or maybe I thought the deception would be useful
My Pennsylvania driver’s license contains one bold-faced lie, a tall tale as it were.
It says I’m 5-foot-10. I’d need to stand on my tippy toes to reach 5’10.
I’m more like 5’7.
Why I chose to tell such a petty bureaucratic lie, I do not recall.
Maybe I thought a cop would be less likely to tangle with a 5’10 dude. Or maybe I thought the deception would be useful
