Chris Rodell's Blog, page 50
September 16, 2016
I"m quitting my imaginary job
(713 words)
This will come as a blow to those of you eager for my existential stability, but I’m bailing on the only real job I’ve ever had in 24 years.
It may help soften that blow to know it was all make believe.
Yes, I’m quitting the imaginary job I’ve held at the imaginary hardware store where I’ve been pretending to work since February.
It’s just driving me nuts. More
This will come as a blow to those of you eager for my existential stability, but I’m bailing on the only real job I’ve ever had in 24 years.
It may help soften that blow to know it was all make believe.
Yes, I’m quitting the imaginary job I’ve held at the imaginary hardware store where I’ve been pretending to work since February.
It’s just driving me nuts. More
September 14, 2016
Amish porn & word counts (from '12)
(719 words)
Astute readers will notice I’m introducing a new parenthetical feature. It’s not code. It’s not enigma. It’s another reader service designed to make your visit more efficient.
And let me be clear, I think anyone who stops by to read my stuff is very astute -- and that includes all of you who mistakenly stumble here based on search terms like “amish porn,” “amish breasts,” and
Astute readers will notice I’m introducing a new parenthetical feature. It’s not code. It’s not enigma. It’s another reader service designed to make your visit more efficient.
And let me be clear, I think anyone who stops by to read my stuff is very astute -- and that includes all of you who mistakenly stumble here based on search terms like “amish porn,” “amish breasts,” and
September 13, 2016
Kansas robber would rather go to prison than stay married
(698 words)
A 70-year-old Kansas City man who told police he robbed a bank because he thought he’d prefer prison to marriage will likely get his wish.
I guess Lawrence John Ripple, whose record is otherwise spotless, will refuse lenient house arrest.
It’s an interesting case.
Ripple angrily wrote the terse robbery note — “I have a gun, give me money” — right in front of his wife
A 70-year-old Kansas City man who told police he robbed a bank because he thought he’d prefer prison to marriage will likely get his wish.
I guess Lawrence John Ripple, whose record is otherwise spotless, will refuse lenient house arrest.
It’s an interesting case.
Ripple angrily wrote the terse robbery note — “I have a gun, give me money” — right in front of his wife
September 12, 2016
A random post on Pitt-Penn State with nods to Dave, Bruce, Dylan, Quinn and the guy who robbed the bank to end his marriage
I try to avoid taking topic requests because the result always comes across as forced, stilted.
I’m making an exception today because fanatical reader Dave Angus is the one doing the requesting.
Give me 1,000 readers like Dave and I could rule the blogosphere. You may recall from earlier posts that Dave quits reading the blog cold turkey for six weeks every fall so he can then binge
I’m making an exception today because fanatical reader Dave Angus is the one doing the requesting.
Give me 1,000 readers like Dave and I could rule the blogosphere. You may recall from earlier posts that Dave quits reading the blog cold turkey for six weeks every fall so he can then binge
September 9, 2016
See "Hell or High Water" (and stories of two great bank heists)
(748 words)
I’ll make this brief: Drop whatever you’re doing and go right now to see “Hell or High Water” with Jeff Bridges, Ben Foster and Chris Pine.
And take me with you!
It’s that good. Val and I saw it Wednesday and thoroughly enjoyed it.
It had 98 percent Rotten Tomato rating and we love the actors so I thought it would be a satisfying shoot’em up.
It is that, but it’s so
I’ll make this brief: Drop whatever you’re doing and go right now to see “Hell or High Water” with Jeff Bridges, Ben Foster and Chris Pine.
And take me with you!
It’s that good. Val and I saw it Wednesday and thoroughly enjoyed it.
It had 98 percent Rotten Tomato rating and we love the actors so I thought it would be a satisfying shoot’em up.
It is that, but it’s so
September 8, 2016
Pull tab donations & "Last Baby Boomer"
(811 words)
I remain charmed by the many crayon keepsakes friends and readers have bestowed on me over the past three years. Each warms my heart.
But a friend gave me a surprising “Last Baby Boomer” related gift that tops them all.
Well, let’s say tabs them all.
The gift?
A little plastic baggy with about three hundred utterly useless aluminum can pull tabs.
They’re from
I remain charmed by the many crayon keepsakes friends and readers have bestowed on me over the past three years. Each warms my heart.
But a friend gave me a surprising “Last Baby Boomer” related gift that tops them all.
Well, let’s say tabs them all.
The gift?
A little plastic baggy with about three hundred utterly useless aluminum can pull tabs.
They’re from
September 6, 2016
When houseflies meet barflies
(598 words)
I’d like to be a fly on the wall anytime flies on the wall discuss their bafflement over why any human would like to be a fly on the wall.
I’m so proud of that nifty line I vow to use it any time I write about flies, which means I’ll use it about twice every 1,711 times I post.
Yes, this is only the second post I’ve ever devoted to the common housefly or Musca domestica
I’d like to be a fly on the wall anytime flies on the wall discuss their bafflement over why any human would like to be a fly on the wall.
I’m so proud of that nifty line I vow to use it any time I write about flies, which means I’ll use it about twice every 1,711 times I post.
Yes, this is only the second post I’ve ever devoted to the common housefly or Musca domestica
September 5, 2016
Let's change Labor Day into Leisure Day
(589 words)
If anyone thinks by blogging on Labor Day I’m engaging in actual labor they know even less about blogging than they do about labor.
About the only things farther from labor than blogging involve sex and sleeping -- and as soon as I learn how to comfortably blog while lying flat on my back even that point will be moot.
Blogging is something I enjoy, something that releases
If anyone thinks by blogging on Labor Day I’m engaging in actual labor they know even less about blogging than they do about labor.
About the only things farther from labor than blogging involve sex and sleeping -- and as soon as I learn how to comfortably blog while lying flat on my back even that point will be moot.
Blogging is something I enjoy, something that releases
September 1, 2016
When Facebook becomes Fakebook (from '12)
I did something yesterday for which I’m feeling justifiably small: I tried to bust someone for fibbing on FaceBook.
It’s not exactly “60 Minutes” going after Big Tobacco, is it.
And I should know better.
Facebook is a perfectly innocuous place where we all go to post our prettiest pictures and give the shared impression we all live in a happy, shiny place free of discord and things
It’s not exactly “60 Minutes” going after Big Tobacco, is it.
And I should know better.
Facebook is a perfectly innocuous place where we all go to post our prettiest pictures and give the shared impression we all live in a happy, shiny place free of discord and things
August 31, 2016
My weakest monthly tweet round-up
If you’re mentally craving great 8days2Amish tweets, I recommend you skip the following and go straight to this. I often feel it’s been a month of poor quality only to be surprised to find dozens of witty bits worthy of your attention.
Not this month. My mind’s been on so many other things and the cerebral silliness necessary for me to conjure bright tweets has been absent. It’s a pity,
Not this month. My mind’s been on so many other things and the cerebral silliness necessary for me to conjure bright tweets has been absent. It’s a pity,
