Chris Rodell's Blog, page 27
March 27, 2019
The joys of saying "I told you so ..."
(710 words)
I have to tell you right up front you’re not going to like this one. So don’t say I didn’t warn you. But I’ve got to call you out for your poor judgement and duplicity.
First, you’re persisting in reading despite my honest admission that this one’s a stinker.
Second, I know you’ve been lying. It’s a huge lie, one I’ll bet you tell at least once every six or so months
I have to tell you right up front you’re not going to like this one. So don’t say I didn’t warn you. But I’ve got to call you out for your poor judgement and duplicity.
First, you’re persisting in reading despite my honest admission that this one’s a stinker.
Second, I know you’ve been lying. It’s a huge lie, one I’ll bet you tell at least once every six or so months
March 20, 2019
My surprising feat of strength & March 29 guest bartending in Irwin
(711 words)
I did something unintentional the other day in my office that literally caused the jaws of both my daughters to drop. They could not believe their eyes.
It was like they’d seen me do something that shattered their every notion of me as their father, like I revealed I was a spy or a stealth member of SEAL Team 6.
What had they seen the old man do?
Ten measly pull-ups.
I did something unintentional the other day in my office that literally caused the jaws of both my daughters to drop. They could not believe their eyes.
It was like they’d seen me do something that shattered their every notion of me as their father, like I revealed I was a spy or a stealth member of SEAL Team 6.
What had they seen the old man do?
Ten measly pull-ups.
March 8, 2019
I get screwed by Bay Hill ... again!
(994 words)
Many supportive friends are asking if my Arnold Palmer book is for sale this week in the Bay Hill pro shop for the PGA’s Arnold Palmer Invitational. They wonder this because they think I’ll sell a lot of books and I’ll make a lot of money.
Well, it is not for sale.
I should have concluded things between me and the Bay Hill poobahs were going to crater when my Dec. 18
Many supportive friends are asking if my Arnold Palmer book is for sale this week in the Bay Hill pro shop for the PGA’s Arnold Palmer Invitational. They wonder this because they think I’ll sell a lot of books and I’ll make a lot of money.
Well, it is not for sale.
I should have concluded things between me and the Bay Hill poobahs were going to crater when my Dec. 18
March 4, 2019
Our dear friend Sue is gone; here's one way her memory will go on forever and ever
(743 words)
Being alive in a small town means you spend a substantial amount of time mourning those who suddenly or otherwise no longer are. You attend a lot of funerals.
Each is compelling and sad in its own way so I’m often drawn to write about them.
This can be tricky. I don’t want to say anything rude or be less than honest memorializing, say, a beloved town drunk.
And you
Being alive in a small town means you spend a substantial amount of time mourning those who suddenly or otherwise no longer are. You attend a lot of funerals.
Each is compelling and sad in its own way so I’m often drawn to write about them.
This can be tricky. I don’t want to say anything rude or be less than honest memorializing, say, a beloved town drunk.
And you
March 1, 2019
Chris Rodell: Palmer author/ Latrobe tour guide
(685 words)
Go ahead. I’ll let you start with the jokes at my expense. Jokes like:
“What, are you going to start the tour by announcing, ‘This is the bar stool I daily drink upon for three hours. I invite you to sit here and watch me until 6 o’clock when I go to the second floor bar where I sit and drink for another three hours!”
No, sorry, it won’t be a tour of the heirloom Latrobe
Go ahead. I’ll let you start with the jokes at my expense. Jokes like:
“What, are you going to start the tour by announcing, ‘This is the bar stool I daily drink upon for three hours. I invite you to sit here and watch me until 6 o’clock when I go to the second floor bar where I sit and drink for another three hours!”
No, sorry, it won’t be a tour of the heirloom Latrobe
February 28, 2019
Tweets of the Month (again)
Are you the kind of reader who won’t settle for anything less than the freshest, most organic tweet? Follow me at 8days2Amish!
• Just because I think it would be super fun to mess with 'em, I'm thinking of sending the SuperMax warden a sexy Rita Hayworth poster and asking him to give it to El Chapo.
• On this chilly winter day I just saw a man at the bus stop wearing nothing but a
• Just because I think it would be super fun to mess with 'em, I'm thinking of sending the SuperMax warden a sexy Rita Hayworth poster and asking him to give it to El Chapo.
• On this chilly winter day I just saw a man at the bus stop wearing nothing but a
February 25, 2019
Go ahead & build your wall; Americans will still love drugs
(773 words)
I think one of the most surprising aspects of my life to many of my friends is that I never became what the propaganda films used to call a “dope fiend.”
I don’t do drugs. Never snorted coke, tried LSD or was tempted to stick a needle in a vein.
And I rarely smoke pot. I’ve never even gotten high.
I’ve tried many, many times, but my efforts usually come to an
I think one of the most surprising aspects of my life to many of my friends is that I never became what the propaganda films used to call a “dope fiend.”
I don’t do drugs. Never snorted coke, tried LSD or was tempted to stick a needle in a vein.
And I rarely smoke pot. I’ve never even gotten high.
I’ve tried many, many times, but my efforts usually come to an
February 20, 2019
My tribute to the great (& gorgeous) Robert Redford
(733 words)
One of the most glaring contradictions of my life is how in no way do I consider myself a homophobe, but would watch every single one of my male friends die before I’d resort to mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
It would just be so everlastingly awkward and I would much rather do nothing and end their lives than do something and end our friendship.
I was thinking of this
One of the most glaring contradictions of my life is how in no way do I consider myself a homophobe, but would watch every single one of my male friends die before I’d resort to mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
It would just be so everlastingly awkward and I would much rather do nothing and end their lives than do something and end our friendship.
I was thinking of this
February 18, 2019
My personal threat assessments & what they have to do w/ girls volleball
http://tinyurl.com/c3cctps
(782 words)
I walked into the gym and alertly, as is my custom, surveilled the occupants. The first thing I do in every room is threat assessment: who in here could kick my ass and who would I easily dominate if things went sideways?
Sadly, I judged it about 50-50.
I learned the threat assessment custom from a retired army colonel who said, “Be polite,
(782 words)
I walked into the gym and alertly, as is my custom, surveilled the occupants. The first thing I do in every room is threat assessment: who in here could kick my ass and who would I easily dominate if things went sideways?
Sadly, I judged it about 50-50.
I learned the threat assessment custom from a retired army colonel who said, “Be polite,
February 15, 2019
A Happy Birthday update on my condition
(775 words)
It’s been one year and one day since a brusque tech with no time for blow-softening small talk told me test results indicated I have Parkinson’s Disease and that there is no cure.
I asked what I could expect next.
“Well,” she said, “are you still capable of feeding yourself?”
I told her I’d heroically downed a donut for breakfast but some of the pink Valentine
It’s been one year and one day since a brusque tech with no time for blow-softening small talk told me test results indicated I have Parkinson’s Disease and that there is no cure.
I asked what I could expect next.
“Well,” she said, “are you still capable of feeding yourself?”
I told her I’d heroically downed a donut for breakfast but some of the pink Valentine
