Chris Rodell's Blog, page 29
December 17, 2018
My left arm is dying
(728 words)
This is the first blog I could have written with one hand tied behind my back.
Not because it was a breeze or required little agile effort. No, the reason I could have written it with one hand tied behind my back is because Parkinson’s Disease has rendered my left hand virtually useless. It just hangs there, an anatomical ornament dangling from an untrimmed trunk.
When I
This is the first blog I could have written with one hand tied behind my back.
Not because it was a breeze or required little agile effort. No, the reason I could have written it with one hand tied behind my back is because Parkinson’s Disease has rendered my left hand virtually useless. It just hangs there, an anatomical ornament dangling from an untrimmed trunk.
When I
December 12, 2018
Here's how I ask you to give me money
(689 words)
I’ve always understood one of the most confounding aspects about my existence was how I could have such a massive ego with so little foundational accomplishment.
Why be egotistical when you have zero professional acclaim, skimpy prospects and often less-than-break-even income?
Well, thanks to so many of you, 2018 has been the year when the foundation was poured and warm
I’ve always understood one of the most confounding aspects about my existence was how I could have such a massive ego with so little foundational accomplishment.
Why be egotistical when you have zero professional acclaim, skimpy prospects and often less-than-break-even income?
Well, thanks to so many of you, 2018 has been the year when the foundation was poured and warm
December 6, 2018
How I became junk mail (and announcement of Tin Lizzy Christmas book signing)!
(752 words)
I’m forever confused whenever I hear people complain about postal surliness. Maybe it’s because I conduct the majority of my postal business at the Youngstown post office just up the street from the Tin Lizzy.
Sue and Lexi are so fun, sweet and cheerful it’s like they were hired by postal party boy Benjamin Franklin.
So I enjoy going in there, as I often do to mail
I’m forever confused whenever I hear people complain about postal surliness. Maybe it’s because I conduct the majority of my postal business at the Youngstown post office just up the street from the Tin Lizzy.
Sue and Lexi are so fun, sweet and cheerful it’s like they were hired by postal party boy Benjamin Franklin.
So I enjoy going in there, as I often do to mail
December 5, 2018
My friend's new book cures hangovers!
(884 words)
The greatest tribute anyone’s ever said about me is that just by telling my stories I once cured their hangover.
I mean, if you believe Scripture, that’s something even Jesus never did.
It was 2015 and I was the breakfast keynote speaker for the Pennsylvania Restaurant and Lodging Association. I was there to give my “Use All The Crayons!” talk.
I’ll let my Lazarus tell
The greatest tribute anyone’s ever said about me is that just by telling my stories I once cured their hangover.
I mean, if you believe Scripture, that’s something even Jesus never did.
It was 2015 and I was the breakfast keynote speaker for the Pennsylvania Restaurant and Lodging Association. I was there to give my “Use All The Crayons!” talk.
I’ll let my Lazarus tell
November 30, 2018
November Tweets of the Month (in the nick of time)
No preamble. No intro. No distractions. It’s Friday afternoon. The weekend is nigh. And I’m left to wonder how productive I’d out of necessity be if every moment of every working day were 10 minutes ’til the Happy Hour …
• It’s unfathomable to imagine how much better off the world would be if every time we felt moved by a good intention we acted on it.
• People who want to appear
• It’s unfathomable to imagine how much better off the world would be if every time we felt moved by a good intention we acted on it.
• People who want to appear
You don't need the parade to smile at strangers
(693 words)
For me, the most indelible memory will be the faces of the children. The bright faces shown with joy, hope and cheer. They’d braved temperatures in the high teens to see Santa.
That they first had to see me didn’t faze them one bit.
Then there were the faces of the adults. They seemed to go through what I guess you could call the Five Stages of Celebrity Disappointment.
For me, the most indelible memory will be the faces of the children. The bright faces shown with joy, hope and cheer. They’d braved temperatures in the high teens to see Santa.
That they first had to see me didn’t faze them one bit.
Then there were the faces of the adults. They seemed to go through what I guess you could call the Five Stages of Celebrity Disappointment.
November 27, 2018
Knitting quilts for homeless vets
(707 words)
I always feel like a failure when I resort to sarcasm in response to any question from the family innocents who should by now know everything about me and my recreations.
But that’s what happened this spring when I was departing for a weekend with some cheerful reprobates I’ve known for decades.
She wanted to know what we’d be doing the weekend, and she asked it in a
I always feel like a failure when I resort to sarcasm in response to any question from the family innocents who should by now know everything about me and my recreations.
But that’s what happened this spring when I was departing for a weekend with some cheerful reprobates I’ve known for decades.
She wanted to know what we’d be doing the weekend, and she asked it in a
November 23, 2018
Some stuff that's made me cry; some stuff that hasn't
(778 words)
When you read that I CRY, I’m not talking blubbering. My composure remains intact. The last time I was that out-of-control bereft was January 12, 2004, the day my father died. I was devastated. Cried like a baby for hours.
I loved that man and, geez, he died owing me $50.
What some guys won’t do to get out of paying up.
This is true. The only other time I remember
When you read that I CRY, I’m not talking blubbering. My composure remains intact. The last time I was that out-of-control bereft was January 12, 2004, the day my father died. I was devastated. Cried like a baby for hours.
I loved that man and, geez, he died owing me $50.
What some guys won’t do to get out of paying up.
This is true. The only other time I remember
November 21, 2018
Boston big shot tells me about his plants; I tell him about mine
(547 words)
Whatever regard you have for me may be diminished by my confession that last week I was rude to a friendly stranger.
Now, I was raised better than that. I was taught to be friendly to my fellow humans no matter his/her/other’s race, creed, religion or political leanings. And in these fraught times that last one takes gargantuan restraint, doesn’t it?
In my defense, the
Whatever regard you have for me may be diminished by my confession that last week I was rude to a friendly stranger.
Now, I was raised better than that. I was taught to be friendly to my fellow humans no matter his/her/other’s race, creed, religion or political leanings. And in these fraught times that last one takes gargantuan restraint, doesn’t it?
In my defense, the
November 6, 2018
Do NOT vote (& magically delicious thots on Lucky Charms)
• I have a contradictory message today. It is simple: DO NOT VOTE! None of you. Stay home. Make love. Binge watch “Ozark.” Clean the basement. But do not vote! Do not vote because I already did and if you don’t then the chances of all my candidates winning increases by one.
• Would you drive an elderly neighbor to the polling place if you knew she was pro-Trump? Or if she voted for
• Would you drive an elderly neighbor to the polling place if you knew she was pro-Trump? Or if she voted for
