Chris Rodell's Blog, page 33
February 28, 2018
Tweets of the Month
Every time I think the Tweet well has gone dry, a burst of fresh creativity — at least by my sketchy standards — prevails. See, I try to post only the best, ones I think would be worthy of inclusion some future “Crayons!” volume. It’s just one of the ways I’m unpresidential. And I’m fine with that. So’s he, I’m sure.
Looking forward to Spring!
• Reports that many in America have
Looking forward to Spring!
• Reports that many in America have
February 16, 2018
In '89 I was auctioned off as one of area's most eligible bachelors
(613 words)
It was during our annual family viewing of “Groundhog Day” that I shared a recollection I’d for unfathomable reasons long concealed. It was during the giddy scene near the end where Bill Murray’s “Phil Connors” character shows just how rewarding life can be when we devote our days to pure altruism.
He saves a man from choking. He bestows newlyweds with Wrestlemania tickets.
It was during our annual family viewing of “Groundhog Day” that I shared a recollection I’d for unfathomable reasons long concealed. It was during the giddy scene near the end where Bill Murray’s “Phil Connors” character shows just how rewarding life can be when we devote our days to pure altruism.
He saves a man from choking. He bestows newlyweds with Wrestlemania tickets.
February 1, 2018
Hip questions on Tom Petty death report
(342 words)
News that the great Tom Petty died from an accidental overdose closes the book for many who are satisfied that this answers all the relevant questions. Petty, 66, was self-medicating to alleviate chronic pain resulting from a broken hip.
So that’s that, right?
Wrong. I’m restless over what to me is the key unresolved question.
How did Tom Petty break a hip? I can’t
News that the great Tom Petty died from an accidental overdose closes the book for many who are satisfied that this answers all the relevant questions. Petty, 66, was self-medicating to alleviate chronic pain resulting from a broken hip.
So that’s that, right?
Wrong. I’m restless over what to me is the key unresolved question.
How did Tom Petty break a hip? I can’t
January 31, 2018
A covfefe of January's best tweets
Follow me at 8days2Amish! Or don’t.
Either way, I hope you’re all ready for the Big Day. Yes, only two shopping days till Groundhog’s Day! Punxsutawney, here we come! Or not.
Have a great day!
• Astronomers calculate earth is 93,000,000 miles from sun. I stepped outside today and, I swear, it felt more like 93,000,002.
• You shouldn't be allowed to demand U.S. impose order
Either way, I hope you’re all ready for the Big Day. Yes, only two shopping days till Groundhog’s Day! Punxsutawney, here we come! Or not.
Have a great day!
• Astronomers calculate earth is 93,000,000 miles from sun. I stepped outside today and, I swear, it felt more like 93,000,002.
• You shouldn't be allowed to demand U.S. impose order
January 24, 2018
Saved from indoor Siberia by The Big Bazoo!
(701 words)
Hardships endured by our ancestors included fetching well water, shoeing the family horse and having to be vigilant for hostile native Americans on the midnight dash to the outhouse.
A hardship for our children involves having to leave the room to charge the phone when all the living room outlets are occupied.
So it was a modern sort of hardship last week on one of the
Hardships endured by our ancestors included fetching well water, shoeing the family horse and having to be vigilant for hostile native Americans on the midnight dash to the outhouse.
A hardship for our children involves having to leave the room to charge the phone when all the living room outlets are occupied.
So it was a modern sort of hardship last week on one of the
January 10, 2018
My medical bills, issues & the $10,000 DAT scan
(735 words)
Mary had a pleasant, patient phone voice, non-antagonistic and experienced in knowing if I got TOO testy she could always pass the buck.
Or bucks — $820 of ‘em to be precise. That’s how much anesthesia cost for the August removal of half my thyroid gland and a potato-sized (non-cancerous) lump.
I’m contesting the fee because I never asked for anesthesia and would never
Mary had a pleasant, patient phone voice, non-antagonistic and experienced in knowing if I got TOO testy she could always pass the buck.
Or bucks — $820 of ‘em to be precise. That’s how much anesthesia cost for the August removal of half my thyroid gland and a potato-sized (non-cancerous) lump.
I’m contesting the fee because I never asked for anesthesia and would never
December 31, 2017
Happy New Year! Best tweets of '17 ...
There’s a practical reason behind compiling my 8days2Amish tweets on a monthly/annual basis: makes it easy to harvest them for new “Crayons: Deluxe!” edition. That’s what I did in September. The ones that made it into the new book — 1,001 items — are in bold.
Happy New Year!
• I may be misjudging the man, but I suspect every time Trump leaves the White House he steals a towel or two.
Happy New Year!
• I may be misjudging the man, but I suspect every time Trump leaves the White House he steals a towel or two.
December 29, 2017
#MeToo: What happened in '85 in Athens, Ohio, when I grabbed a girl's ass
(795 words)
Like most men in this #MeToo year I’ve done some soul-searching about whether I ever mistreated a woman in pursuit of cheap sex.
Did I ever put my hands on a woman in a unwanted way sure to offend? Did I ever grope or otherwise sexually harass a female?
In fact, I did. I once grabbed an unsuspecting young woman’s ass.
I used her. Just not in the way you might think.
Like most men in this #MeToo year I’ve done some soul-searching about whether I ever mistreated a woman in pursuit of cheap sex.
Did I ever put my hands on a woman in a unwanted way sure to offend? Did I ever grope or otherwise sexually harass a female?
In fact, I did. I once grabbed an unsuspecting young woman’s ass.
I used her. Just not in the way you might think.
December 28, 2017
Scaramucci becomes 2nd most prominent celeb to follow @8days2Amish
Anthony Scaramucci surprised me on Tuesday by becoming my 1,673 follower at 8Days@Amish. He becomes my second most prominent follower, a distant second to the fabulous Holland Taylor.
I brag about Taylor. I’m one of only 444 people the beloved actress follows. So Taylor is discriminating, as well as tasteful. I’ve always enjoyed her acting, her persona, her friendships with folks like Tom
I brag about Taylor. I’m one of only 444 people the beloved actress follows. So Taylor is discriminating, as well as tasteful. I’ve always enjoyed her acting, her persona, her friendships with folks like Tom
December 21, 2017
Story of the roofer who was wasp stung up the nose and 14 other mostly seasonal/political observations
I was sipping suds last week with a friendly roofer who in the course of our conversation told me the single most horrific sting story I’ve ever heard. He was nailing a tarp to an old lady’s roof when his hammer nearly nailed a wasp. He missed, but the wasp wasn’t relieved at the narrow escape. No, it was pissed. It reacted like the Randy Quaid fight pilot character in “Independence Day.”
