Chris Rodell's Blog, page 31
September 21, 2018
The why & how of my brand new signature -- it's legible!
(678 words)
I heard what by now are familiar compliments from robust audiences this week in Mt. Pleasant and the South Hills of Pittsburgh.
They said I was witty, eloquent, composed and other gushy compliments that would convince my family everyone who comes to hear me talk is either shit-faced or susceptible to mass hypnosis.
But of all the heady praise — and I’m on a bit of a roll
I heard what by now are familiar compliments from robust audiences this week in Mt. Pleasant and the South Hills of Pittsburgh.
They said I was witty, eloquent, composed and other gushy compliments that would convince my family everyone who comes to hear me talk is either shit-faced or susceptible to mass hypnosis.
But of all the heady praise — and I’m on a bit of a roll
September 13, 2018
10 great life quotes for graduating seniors
(676 words)
Our oldest daughter is on a quest to find the most insightful quote to illustrate her character in her HS year book. She asked me for advice because she understands the old man is full of quotes.
At least that’s what I think she thinks the old man is full of.
But I surprised her when I told her to buzz off. I knew she’d instinctively ridicule any of my suggestions and
Our oldest daughter is on a quest to find the most insightful quote to illustrate her character in her HS year book. She asked me for advice because she understands the old man is full of quotes.
At least that’s what I think she thinks the old man is full of.
But I surprised her when I told her to buzz off. I knew she’d instinctively ridicule any of my suggestions and
September 10, 2018
Thinking of getting plastic surgery to resemble Arnold Palmer
(661 words)
I wonder if people would think I was taking things too far if they knew I was thinking about plastic surgery to make me look exactly like Arnold Palmer. That way I could skip the sometimes tedious bits of me telling stories about Arnold Palmer and vault right into the role of being Arnold Palmer.
I think it’s what Palmer would do. He held nothing back.
Today would have
I wonder if people would think I was taking things too far if they knew I was thinking about plastic surgery to make me look exactly like Arnold Palmer. That way I could skip the sometimes tedious bits of me telling stories about Arnold Palmer and vault right into the role of being Arnold Palmer.
I think it’s what Palmer would do. He held nothing back.
Today would have
September 4, 2018
What I, duh, think about when men start talking about cars ...
(650 words)
I’ve discovered a delightful coping mechanism when I find myself inescapably stuck in the middle of a conversation that bores me to tears.
Yes, when the boys start talking about cars, I start thinking about sex.
Bawdy sex, sweet sex, fast sex, slow sex. I think about sex in the bedroom, sex on the beach, sex in the hot tub, sex in the back seat and sex behind the “
I’ve discovered a delightful coping mechanism when I find myself inescapably stuck in the middle of a conversation that bores me to tears.
Yes, when the boys start talking about cars, I start thinking about sex.
Bawdy sex, sweet sex, fast sex, slow sex. I think about sex in the bedroom, sex on the beach, sex in the hot tub, sex in the back seat and sex behind the “
September 3, 2018
Summer tweet round-up
I used to do a monthly Twitter round-up and for the 5 or so years I was doing them I never once heard a reader say, “Man, I really look forward to those monthly Twitter round-ups.”
But that’s not the reason I went, yikes, 5 months without a round-up. Blame Twitter. It used to be mental jujitsu to try and craft an interesting sentiment in a mere 140 characters. But about, yes, 5 months
But that’s not the reason I went, yikes, 5 months without a round-up. Blame Twitter. It used to be mental jujitsu to try and craft an interesting sentiment in a mere 140 characters. But about, yes, 5 months
August 28, 2018
How Latrobe's Great Banana Split Fest had me thinking of Ohio's Great Beer Heist
(707 words)
Val and I had such a wonderful time at the Great American Banana Split Festival I vow to no longer refer to it with my snide alternative.
That being the Great American B.S. Festival.
But the Latrobe festival, now in its 6th year, is becoming a rousing success. A highlight for us was the Yellow Tie Gala at the Latrobe Art Center.
One of the festival organizers told me
Val and I had such a wonderful time at the Great American Banana Split Festival I vow to no longer refer to it with my snide alternative.
That being the Great American B.S. Festival.
But the Latrobe festival, now in its 6th year, is becoming a rousing success. A highlight for us was the Yellow Tie Gala at the Latrobe Art Center.
One of the festival organizers told me
August 21, 2018
UPS time management standards I ignore
(693 words)
So there we were, one of the world’s most efficient men answering questions about hyper-time management from me, one of the least.
It was just the UPS guy and me. I kept trailing in his busy wake asking one thing then another like I was a 6-year-old on “Take-Your-Son-To-Work” day and the UPS guy was my old man.
Does he ever get a break?
“No. They monitor our every
So there we were, one of the world’s most efficient men answering questions about hyper-time management from me, one of the least.
It was just the UPS guy and me. I kept trailing in his busy wake asking one thing then another like I was a 6-year-old on “Take-Your-Son-To-Work” day and the UPS guy was my old man.
Does he ever get a break?
“No. They monitor our every
August 10, 2018
Taking the kids on the train to NYC
(717 words)
We’re four hours into an eight-hour train ride to New York City and I’m once again reminded of the late John Clouse, for years The Guinness World Record holder for World’s Most Traveled Man.
He’d been to something like 364 of the world’s 365 countries, islands and territories.
For me, he was the World’s Most Entertaining Story Source.
Anytime an editor would summon me
We’re four hours into an eight-hour train ride to New York City and I’m once again reminded of the late John Clouse, for years The Guinness World Record holder for World’s Most Traveled Man.
He’d been to something like 364 of the world’s 365 countries, islands and territories.
For me, he was the World’s Most Entertaining Story Source.
Anytime an editor would summon me
August 6, 2018
Am I a celebrity? Uh, nope ...
(646 words)
The question is being asked with enough frequency I figure it’s time I address the issue.
Am I a celebrity?
I am not.
A celebrity is someone of enduring appeal, someone of ample means and name recognition, a unifying element capable of dominating pop culture. A celebrity is, oh, say, for example, hmmm, Arnold Palmer? He died worth about $800 million and has a popular
The question is being asked with enough frequency I figure it’s time I address the issue.
Am I a celebrity?
I am not.
A celebrity is someone of enduring appeal, someone of ample means and name recognition, a unifying element capable of dominating pop culture. A celebrity is, oh, say, for example, hmmm, Arnold Palmer? He died worth about $800 million and has a popular
July 26, 2018
Time to change town name from Youngstown to Palmerville
(560 words)
Because it would lure ample tourist dollars to a needy destination, I’m proposing we rename Youngstown, Pa., …
Palmerville!
Youngstown, pop. 314, was founded in 1800 by the Young family of pioneers back in 1800.
Like nobody would have found it in the next week or so. Heck, I can’t be sure but I think the local Taco Bell opened in 1804.
And what kind of pioneers
Because it would lure ample tourist dollars to a needy destination, I’m proposing we rename Youngstown, Pa., …
Palmerville!
Youngstown, pop. 314, was founded in 1800 by the Young family of pioneers back in 1800.
Like nobody would have found it in the next week or so. Heck, I can’t be sure but I think the local Taco Bell opened in 1804.
And what kind of pioneers
