Lisa Jacobson's Blog, page 36
September 2, 2015
Happy Anniversary to Us {23 Years Told in Pictures}
I began sobbing the moment he asked me to marry him.
And I don’t mean sweet tears cascading down my cheeks either.
I mean the big ugly cry. Choking, hiccuping, fluid-running-out-my-nose-and-eyes kind of cry.
Not that I should have been shocked. We knew six days after we met that we were going to get married.
But when he actually proposed to me…to say that he wanted to spend the rest of our days together?
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4 Kinds of Talk that Will Save Your Marriage
We’re skipping church because we’ve been gone all weekend.
We’re watching it instead, online, Pastor Mark Hughes’ Church of the Rock, and we’re watching a sermon on marriage on separate couches, while our boys climb all over us. Trent and I look at each other across the room and sigh, roll our eyes and there’s a splash of sunlight on the floor, falling from the sky. Just a splash but it’s enough to make the room feel warmer.
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August 31, 2015
How One Woman Can Fight Poverty {& Make Her Family Rich}
It wasn’t how he planned to spend his day off, on a summer afternoon –under the covers with a rolling stomach.
But there he was, so I kept going upstairs to check on him and kiss his forehead.
“What am I smelling?” he asked.
“Jell-O,” I said.
He turned five.
“What kind of Jell-O?” he asked.
“Red.”
“Oh, red.
Continue reading How One Woman Can Fight Poverty {& Make Her Family Rich} at Club31Women.com
August 30, 2015
4 Ways to Escape the Trap of Emotional Divorce
Have you ever found yourself feeling:
“I’m just so mad, so hurt—again. I’m not going to share my heart with him anymore. He doesn’t understand. It is too painful. We’ll live in the same house but he can do his thing and I’ll do mine.”
Most of us, if we are really honest, have felt this way about our husband from time to time.
I call it falling into the trap of emotional divorce.
Continue reading 4 Ways to Escape the Trap of Emotional Divorce at Club31Women.com
August 27, 2015
A Great Way to Make New Friends {& Chocolate Zucchini Bread}
There was a point a long time ago when I was outgoing and I made friends easily.
And then…I wasn’t anymore.
I just kind of changed, and that kind of transition from outgoing girl to non-outgoing girl was not without its set of challenges.
I think the biggest hindrance I found to the change was my ability to make friends, particularly girl friends.
One of the issues I run into A LOT is misinterpretation.
When I’m put into a situation where I don’t know anyone and I’m feeling insecure, I get pretty quiet end usually just stand there and listen to everyone else talk and don’t say a word. I lack the confidence to put my thoughts and opinions forward and to contribute to topics.
The misinterpretation comes when people observe me being quiet and take it as me being…snobby.
That’s certainly not the impression I want to leave with people at all, but, sadly, I’ve heard on more than one occasion that it was someone’s first impression of me.
Not an easy pill to swallow.
When we moved to our new neighborhood a few months ago, I was excited at the possibility of finally making some friends with other moms. But, of course, on the flip side, I was also completely anxious at the idea of figuring out how to start a conversation and get to know someone!
I figured in the end, the best way to get to know someone was to take baby steps. Thankfully, we’ve had several garage sales on our street and that has been a great way to dust off my anxieties and put myself out there.
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” Philippians 4:6
The only other way I could think of for me to naturally “to put myself out there” was to bake. I tend to gain confidence when I’m in the kitchen, and cooking and baking is a very natural way for me to show an interest in someone else.
I made three loaves of chocolate zucchini bread for my neighbors one afternoon recently, and today I’m sharing that recipe with you, which is super simple and really yummy!
I think the thing for me to keep on the forefront of my mind when I’m feeling burdened by something is that there is no magic wand to make everything perfect and wonderful.
Friendship is a lot like baking; it takes time, patience, and love. But in the end, you (and they) will be blessed by the fruits of that labor.
Print Chocolate Zucchini Bread Author: colagal for Allrecipes.com Serves: 1 loaf (about 12 slices) Looking for a way to use up zucchini from your garden? Look no further, this chocolatey, rich, loaf has got tons of flavor and looks gorgeous too, with all the pops of green from the zucchini. Your family will gobble this down! Ingredients ½ cup butter, softened 1 cup sugar 2 eggs 1 tsp vanilla extract 1½ cups all-purpose flour 3 tbsp baking cocoa ½ tsp salt ½ tsp baking soda ½ tsp ground cinnamon 1 cup grated zucchini, unpeeled ½ cup semi-sweet chocolate chips Instructions Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a loaf pan and set aside. In a large mixing bowl, cream the butter and sugar together. Beat in eggs and vanilla. Combine the flour, cocoa, salt, baking soda, and cinnamon into a medium sized bowl and gradually mix into the creamed mixture. Stir in the grated zucchini and chocolate chips Pour into greased loaf pan and bake for 60-70 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean when inserted into the middle of the loaf. Cool for 10 minutes before removing from pan and transferring to a wire rack to finish cooling. Wrap leftover slices of the loaf in plastic wrap to keep fresh. #version#
Author information
Chelsia RiefChels is a born-again believer who dreams of living with all four seasons in Central Oregon. She's a wife and stay at home mom to her three vivacious kiddos whom she home schools. When she's not schooling or chasing after her munchkins, she enjoys reading, bubble baths, and finding clothing/kitchen treasure at thrift stores. But more than all of that, she finds refuge in her kitchen where she and her husband can be found cooking and baking up a storm for their family and friends. You can read more about her culinary endeavors at CatzintheKitchen.com.
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August 26, 2015
Two Powerful Forces That Drive Your Teen’s Activities
I have a ridiculous love of apocalyptic movies, so I watched Tommy Lee Jones in Volcano.
Because of course a volcano is going to erupt in the middle of a city. In great heroism, though, Tommy Lee creates a new path for the lava, so it goes to the ocean instead of destroying the metropolis.
It could happen.
I think teen souls are like hot lava that is going to flow. You can’t put a cap on their lives and keep them contained, but you can take powerful, heroic actions to direct where they’re going.
I have an 18-year-old and a 21-year-old, and they are everything I ever hoped they would be.
They love and serve Jesus.
They’re honest, hard-working adults who are pleasant to be around.
I’ve been trying to put my finger on how this happened, so I could share some practical advice with you.
Something I think we did well was to steer our kids in the direction we wanted them to go using the tools of permission and funding.
The Power of Permission
My son was a senior this past year, and he and his friends started scheming about making a big road trip after graduation.
Can you imagine how not excited we were about that?
But then one of the moms suggested that instead the group go to Hawaii and help a small church with their Vacation Bible School.
My husband and I were thrilled with this idea, so we gave Caleb our blessing to go do this Vacation Bible School, on a small island in Hawaii that is spiritually impoverished. He and his friends had a fun time playing in the ocean, but they also made a difference in the lives of little kids.
We started when our kids were very small –giving a hearty yes! to any activity that would benefit our children’s growth in their relationship with God and with godly people.
We signed permission slips and drove them to events and volunteered where we needed to.
We encouraged them to go hang out with good people at good activities.
The Power of Funding
We’re people of modest means, living a middle class life. We drive old cars and have more month than money. But we have used what money we have to direct the activities in which our kids have participated.
We paid over $300 apiece so our kids could go to Creation Festival, which is a three-day Christian concert and speaking event.
We paid for the kids to go to camp.
We paid for them to go to retreats.
We paid for them to go skiing and ice skating and backpacking with people of good character.
We spent money investing in their talents. We paid for voice lessons and bought guitars. My daughter is 21, and I keep buying her art supplies, to encourage that amazing gift she has.
Just about any activity comes with a price tag, so we showed our kids what was important to us by writing checks to fund a good life.
One thing our kids learned was that we loved to say yes.
We would give an excited, “Yes!”, with money to back it, when they chose excellent activities that honored the Lord.
They knew we would make personal sacrifices to help them live well. They also knew it pained us when we did, for some reason, have to say no.
So parent, be encouraged that you have great power in permission and funding. Are you using that power to funnel your child down a good path?
Blessings,
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Christy FitzwaterContributor at ChristyFitzwater.comChristy Fitzwater is a writer and pastor’s wife living in Kalispell, Montana. She has a daughter who is married and a son in college. Christy enjoys when the days get shorter and the weather bitter cold, so she doesn’t feel guilty about not going outside. Days where she can just read books and write words all day. She writes to help people know God, and you can read her personal blog at ChristyFitzwater.
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August 24, 2015
How Do you Know If God Is Truly Enough For You?
“Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”
Psalm 73:24-25
All throughout my Christian life I have heard that “God is enough”, and I agree.
But the longer I live as a Christian the more I have to admit that it’s very easy to agree with that statement intellectually, but really hard to make it connect to your heart. There are inumerous things clamouring for my attention, affection, and time.
So how can I know if I am living as if God is, indeed, enough?
1. Experience Contentment
Don’t you wish you could walk into any store, look at any magazine, or even browse pinterest and walk away feeling completely content with what God has given you? I do.
But reality is sometimes different.
One of my particular weaknesses are kitchens. I have to avoid pictures of beautiful kitchens because looking at them leaves me very discontent with what I have at home.
I believe everyone wants to be content, but finding it and maintaining it are rarities.
We want a nicer home, newer clothes, and different furniture. We want more time with our spouses, less time cleaning, and fewer errands. I dream of the day when I can start my morning without children staring me awake and asking for breakfast before I am even fully conscious.
The person for whom God is enough will be content.
How do we get there? We have to come to see and embrace the fact that there is nothing on earth that can compare with the treasure we already possess in God. With God as our father, Christ as our Savior, and the Holy Spirit as our helper everything else we may lack will seem small and insignificant in comparison.
We deserve nothing, but we have so much. Whatever we do possess in this world is grace upon grace.
2. Great amount of Joy
If God is enough then we will be a joyful people.
The one who understands what it means to be forgiven of all sin and be reconciled to God, and that their soul is secure in Christ, can experience hurt, loss, heartache, devastation, illness, and death and still be joyful in the midst of tears.
When God is enough you trust that His plan is best and his control over all things perfect.
You can rest in the fact that his vengeance against all evil is forthcoming and all things will be made right. This knowledge should make us smile more and sing louder.
Joy is a mark that God is enough.
For under the loss of all things—you possess all things still. The immortal God is yours! And in him you have all—and need no more. ~ Edward Dorr Griffin (1770-1837)
3. Christ is your Safety
Just like children who run to their parent for everything, so we should run to our God for all things and in all circumstances.
When we are afraid, when we are in need, when we worried, when we are confused, when we are exhausted, when we want to grow in our faith, and even when we are happy and content, we should seek safety in Jesus Christ. There is spiritual danger in every circumstance and if God is enough then our hearts will draw us to Jesus wherever we find ourselves. Our running to Jesus is a communing with him through prayer and the Scripture.
We will know that our hope in all things is found in knowing Jesus Christ.
Be a rock of refuge for me, a strong fortress to save me! For you are my rock and my fortress; and for your name’s sake you lead me and guide me;
Ps. 31:2,3
4. God’s Word is your favorite book
We all say that we love God’s Word, but does it show in our lives?
If God himself is our portion then His Word should be our treasured possession. It should not be a religious artifact that collects dust on our shelves, nor a seldom read book only accessed when the mood strikes. Our Bibles should be well-worn and well-known because in it God reveals Himself to us through poetry, narrative, prophecy, epistles, and prose.
Reading it should be first on our to-do list, meditating on it should become a constant, singing it should be our delight, and talking about it should be anything but boring.
I know that God is all I need, that He is enough, but words and actions, my priorities and thoughts often tell a different message. God has given me all I need for life and godliness (2 Peter1:3).
He has given me Himself.
He is enough.
Let’s Talk:
What can cause you to doubt that God is enough? How do you fight against this lie?
Blessings,
Jen
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Jen ThornContributorI grew up in Germany and spent a few years as a missionary kid in Africa. I ended up at Moody Bible Institute where I met my husband and best friend. We have been married 16 years and have 2 boys and 2 girls. I love theology and have a passion to help women take their walk with God to a deeper level. You can find Jen on her blog,
JenThorn.com.
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August 23, 2015
Sometimes Love in Marriage Comes Down to the Smallest of Things
How can one jar of peanut-butter cause so much trouble?
No kidding, that’s what I wanted to know too.
Because apparently it was A Big Problem and he made that quite clear.
My husband was fed up with the sticky, slimy mess dripping down the sides of the peanut-butter jar and insisted we put a stop to the madness.
“Why can’t we keep this jar clean?! There’s no reason we should live like this and it’s driving me nuts!” He didn’t yell, but I could tell by his tone that he really meant it.
Oh, but there was a very good reason as far as I was concerned and protested against his somewhat ridiculous request.
Actually, there were eight good reasons. You see we have these things called children and one mother can’t be on top of everything!
Why so unreasonable? So demanding?
Now on his behalf, I have to tell you that my husband is not a complainer.
He doesn’t make negative remarks about my cooking. He doesn’t complain about having to throw on his robe in the morning and search for the essential items in the laundry room (oops! meant to fold and put those away…). He’s even good about patiently sitting in the car and waiting for me to get out the door. And that can be a pretty long wait sometimes.
But the goopy peanut-butter container? That just about does him in.
So how many of you moms can I count on to side with me on this one?
I mean, we have a bunch of kids and they all make their own peanut-butter sandwiches. Even the three young boys. Let’s face it – it’s a sticky, slimy world we live in.
And I basically communicated to him . . . .
Sorry. But that’s just the way it has to be.
That we were going to have to learn to live with it. That he was asking the impossible. And I left him in the kitchen feeling quite justified in my defensive and huffy response.
Except for one thing . . . .
Epiphany in the Parlor
I left the kitchen to recover and regroup in our front sitting room – our “parlor” as we call it and my very favorite room in the house.
It’s a special place.
The Parlor has pretty pillows, a tea tray, and a clear glass (yes, that would be GLASS) coffee table.
The kids are not allowed to eat in this room.
Or have their electronic gadgets.
No Legos, dirty socks, or rollerblades are permitted in the Parlor. Happy sigh.
I love this room.
Now wait! Are you beginning to wonder how it is that I can keep an entire room looking pristine even though we have all these children? With a glass coffee table, no less??
Well. It’s because it’s important to me, of course. Really important.
But I can’t keep the peanut-butter jar wiped down?
Right.
Yeah, that’s the question that got to me too.
You see, I have this tendency to take my priorities very seriously. And this room is one of those.
Not only that, but when the rest of my family do their best to keep it the way I like it?
It makes me happy.
I feel respected.
Maybe even loved.
I know. It’s a small thing. So maybe you don’t see why it’s a big deal to me.
But it kinda is.
If at all possible.
So maybe I don’t understand why all the fuss over the sloppy peanut-butter jar.
But if it’s important to him?
Makes him happy?
Feel respected?
Maybe even loved…?
Then I can do this small thing.
In fact, I’m determined to have the cleanest peanut-butter jar in town.
And if you ever find yourself anywhere near our area, I hope you’ll stop by ’cause I’d love to make you a peanut-butter sandwich. Or have that youngest son of ours make you one. He makes the best.
But there should be a nice place for you to sit in the parlor.
And you’ll be sure to admire the amazingly spotless peanut-butter container, won’t you?
Because he sure does.
He likes it that way.
But better than that?
He loves me.
Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. ~ Philippians 2:4
In His grace,
*Parlor photo is with thanks to Allison Harp
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LisaOwner at Club 31 WomenLisa is the happily-ever-after wife of Matthew Jacobson and together they enjoy raising and home-educating their 8 children in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. She's also rather fond of dark chocolate, French press coffee, and deep friendships (though not necessarily in that order). She encourages women to embrace the rich life of loving relationships and the high calling of being a wife and mother. Lisa is the author of 100 Ways to Love Your Husband and her husband is the author of 100 Ways to Love Your Wife. They are also the authors of several children's books, including a winner of the C.S. Lewis Silver Medal for Children's Literature.
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August 17, 2015
One Simple Way to Lighten the Load for Your Small Child
Maybe you find it strange.
That I would even think this way.
But I’m going to tell you anyway . . . with the hope that you somehow understand.
So are you ready?
I don’t like ordering for myself at a restaurant. Not if I can help it anyway.
You can ask my husband and he’ll tell you. He knows because I usually ask him to order for me.
And do you want to know why?
It’s not because I don’t have an opinion.
It’s not because I’m weak or don’t know my own mind. Or tastes. Or whatever.
It’s just because I find that I have to make decisions ALL DAY LONG. And it’s exhausting.
I have to decide what I’m going to wear. And I have to figure out what all we need to do today. I have to decide what goes on the grocery list and how many errands I can squeeze in between appointments.
Also, how I should respond to that one email, make that other phone call, and how I’m going to get everyone . . . to every place that they need to go. On time and, preferably, in one piece.
And what to make for dinner tonight (the worst!).
So you see? If I’m so lucky to have a dinner out with the Man-I-Love, then I want to be freed from making one more decision.
To simply sit there and be served. It’s really nice.
Because you know something about making lots of decisions?
It’s a whole lot of hard work.
But I’ve noticed this recent trend in mothering where we’re encouraged to allow our young children to make all kinds of decisions. To give them choices and plenty of them.
Do you want the blue cup or the red cup?
Do you want grapes or bananas or cheese for lunch?
What do you want to wear today?
Do you want to play with this toy or that one? Watch this show or the other one?
Do you think you’re ready for bed yet? (Please…)
And so on and so forth.
So if I (a relatively mature grown-up) find it exhausting making so many decisions day after day? What do you think that does to our young children?
That’s a heavy weight for their small shoulders to carry.
And while I’m all for children learning to make decisions – as it’s truly an important life-skill – we need to be careful we’re not asking their little shoulders to bear the weight of so many decisions.
Rather than “empowering” our children (umm…is that what we’re really after, anyway?), I find that it leads to discontented or insecure children. And sometimes both.
So let’s lighten the load for these little ones.
Just hand them the blue cup and serve them grapes and cheese for lunch. Smile brightly and teach them to respond cheerfully in return, “Thank you, Mommy!”
Then, after you’ve read a short story or two, let them know it’s time for their nap. You don’t even need to ask if they’re tired or ready.
Why? Because you’re the mom.
And you wisely know what’s best for your young child and he or she can learn to trust you in this.
Then maybe . . . just maybe when your child wakes up well-rested, you can ask if the two of you should bake something special for dessert that night?
Because that’s an easy decision to make, don’t you think?
Now the only question is what to make…..? 
August 16, 2015
For the Wife Who Feels Unloved: 3 Loving Steps to Take
For 24 years, I have been happily married to a man who cherishes me. So when I write for Club31Women, I have the perspective of a healthy, fulfilling marriage.
Often I hear from readers, though, who say, “What about me?” There are many women who are struggling in marriage and who feel unloved and not cared for.
Let me start by saying I’m sorry, sister. I’m really sorry for your wounded heart and for the struggle you’re having.
Will you let me write to you from my experience as a pastor’s wife and also as the wife of a licensed professional counselor? My husband and I have known a long line of unhappy wives.
One thing I know is that you cannot change anything on your husband’s side of the relationship.
You can only control your side of things and exert influence through your own actions, so let me offer three steps you can take that have the potential to transform your marriage.
Three Loving Steps for the Wife Who Feels Unloved
First, you must believe the gospel of Christ.
Paul says, “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” (2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV)
Christ can make people new, so pray that Christ will step into your husband’s life and make him a new person with a new heart that can love you. We cannot go inside our husband’s hearts and make him into a new person. Any wife who has tried to change her husband knows this is futile. Only Christ can change the heart of a man.
If you stop believing that your husband can change, that means you’ve stopped believing Christ has power to change people.
So wives must remain hopeful in Christ.
Second, settle in for the long haul and be willing to wait on the Lord.
“Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!” (Psalm 27:14)
How long will you have to wait before God works in your husband’s life? I have no idea. I know a friend who waited decades before her husband chose to follow Christ and their marriage started to improve.
Waiting requires a backbone of faith. You’ll have to be strong and take heart.
Imagine the silent message you are sending to your husband as you wait, though. You are quietly saying to him, “I will wait for good to happen in your life. I will wait for you to know the love of God. I will have patience while Christ works in your life.”
Third, you need to show respect for the man.
In Ephesians 5:33, Paul says, “The wife must respect her husband.”
Must.
This command is wonderfully separate from a woman’s emotions and also separate from a man’s actions. No matter how you feel and no matter how he acts, you are to show him respect. Have you been obedient to this command from Scripture?
Do you speak to him with respect? Do you talk about him to your friends with respect? Does your body language convey respect? Do you serve him with an attitude of respect?
It is possible that your purposeful actions of respect may well be the first step in his heart warming toward you.
So, if you’ve been unloved by your husband, turn to Christ and have hope. Take actions over which you have power, and live in faith that God will honor your efforts and take care of you in every way.
Blessings,
Christy Fitzwater
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Christy FitzwaterContributor at ChristyFitzwater.comChristy Fitzwater is a writer and pastor’s wife living in Kalispell, Montana. She has a daughter who is married and a son in college. Christy enjoys when the days get shorter and the weather bitter cold, so she doesn’t feel guilty about not going outside. Days where she can just read books and write words all day. She writes to help people know God, and you can read her personal blog at ChristyFitzwater.
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