Lisa Jacobson's Blog, page 39

Not Just Any Burger: The Delicious Herb and Cheese Burger

I love holidays!

The colors, sounds, decorations, and of course, the food.

When I was a kid, sometimes we would spend our time at the beach for the 4th. My grandparents had a beach house in Rockaway, Oregon, and when we had the opportunity to drive to the coast, we made sure to never miss that spectacular firework show (If you haven’t seen it, you should!).

But most of the time, we stayed home.

My dad would drive my brother and I down to the general store to pick out some fireworks, and we would have a fairly normal evening at home. Sometimes we ordered pizza, and sometimes my mom cooked, but we would always end the evening with a simple firework show in our driveway, just as it was getting dark. But once it was dark, out came the sparklers, which was always my favorite part!

I didn’t always understand the significance of this holiday as a kid. I knew we celebrated it because our Country had won its freedom. From who or why I didn’t really know, and if I’m being honest, I didn’t quite care because it was sooooo long ago!

I just wanted to light fireworks, watch fireworks, roast marshmallows, and stay up late.

But now that I’m an adult, I care more.

A lot more.

And I want my kids to care, too.

I want them to appreciate the history of our nation, to be patriots, to want to stand up for historical American values, honor the soldiers who leave their homes and still continue to fight for us, and to show love and empathy for the families affected by that sacrifice. I want my kids to understand and appreciate what it means to be an American, and that many countries in the world – even today, in 2015 – do not enjoy the same freedoms we do.

Now, onto my favorite part. The food.

I figured since the 4th of July is such a classic holiday that I had to share a classic recipe with you.

It doesn’t get any more classic than a burger.

But this is not just any burger – this herb and cheese burger is exactly what your Freedom Fiesta needs. It is juicy and moist and stuffed with the most delicious herby cheese mixture you ever did taste. You don’t even need condiments to make this burger taste better.

It’s simple and the kids can help. In fact, when we make these burgers, our eldest daughter always assists my husband.

This Independence Day, get your family involved with the cookout and thank the Lord for our country’s freedom. It is such a gift that so many other countries don’t have the chance to experience, and one that was hard-won for us.

“Be strong, and let us use our strength for our people and for the cities of our God, and may the LORD do what seems good to him.” 1 Chronicles 19:13

~ Chels {Catz in the Kitchen}

Print Herb & Cheese Burgers Author: DK Cookbook for Girls Recipe type: Entree Cuisine: American Serves: 4   These beef patties are stuffed with a cream cheese, herb, and garlic filling and served on a freshly baked Kaiser roll for a completely delicious and juicy burger! Ingredients 1⅕ lbs lean ground beef 1 small onion, finely chopped or grated 4 tbsp fresh parsley, chopped 3 oz cream cheese, softened 1 clove garlic, grated 2 tbps fresh chives, chopped extra-virgin olive oil for brushing 4 Kaiser rolls Salt and pepper Green leaf lettuce leaves Tomato slices Instructions In a large bowl, mix together the beef, onion, and parsley and a little bit of salt and pepper for the burgers. Divide the meat into 8 equal portions and flatten into rounds. (A great chance to use that burger press if you've got one.) In a small bowl, mix together the cream cheese, garlic, and chives. Place a quarter of the mixture onto 4 of the burger rounds. Place the other 4 burger rounds on top and pinch together the edges. Mold into 4 burger patties. Chill for 30 minutes. Brush the burgers with a little bit of extra-virgin olive oil and broil for 8-9 minutes on each side (or if grilling outside, grill for about 6 minutes per side) or until thoroughly cooked through. Serve with Kaiser rolls and french fries. #version#















Author informationChelsia Rief

Chels is a born-again believer who dreams of living with all four seasons in Central Oregon. She's a wife and stay at home mom to her three vivacious kiddos whom she home schools. When she's not schooling or chasing after her munchkins, she enjoys reading, bubble baths, and finding clothing/kitchen treasure at thrift stores. But more than all of that, she finds refuge in her kitchen where she and her husband can be found cooking and baking up a storm for their family and friends. You can read more about her culinary endeavors at CatzintheKitchen.com.

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Why Our Kids Need Us to Make the Most of Summer {& Step Away from the Screen}

Summer is about wonder.

I grew up knowing summer to be the pungent smell of saltwater air that envelops the east coast oceanfront towns.

We spent only one week per year at the beach, but my memory of those weeks overshadows swim lessons and day camps and bike rides to the neighborhood pool. Grains of sand embedded themselves in the seat of my bathing suit all summer as a reminder of the week when we rode the waves of the ocean until my mom called us in for dinner.

The summer after I asked Jesus into my heart, I couldn’t wait to get back to the beach — it was as if the air was thinner there.

I could talk to God more freely sitting on the sand floor (that He made) and under the intangible sky (that only His hands have touched). He’d been there all along, but this year I wanted to hear from Him.

Everything was brighter that summer.

Unscheduled Memories

When I was fifteen, we hiked to the top of the Adirondack mountains, right up through the clouds and we took pictures that turned out fuzzy because we were shrouded in by them. As I type, I can still feel in my bones that last stretch when I really wanted to quit and then how quickly I forgot it when we saw the view from the top. The altitude pressed in on my lungs but I could breathe Him in up there.

I realized there that the noise below had competed.

I knew it was time to leave the ministry (one with which we’d been involved for nearly ten years) when I landed by a pool of gurgling water in the Virginia woodside. Years previous, God had led me to Genesis 2:25 (gasp!) to whisper to my heart that I would marry this no-more-than-a-friend, Nate, when I was alone and sprawled out on a blanket at Beaver Creek. And a decade later I felt the sovereignty of His leadership while we prayed while wrapped in summer’s evening musk for our daughters — who were under the same sky but on another continent.

My best memories were unscheduled and often happened outdoors.

I barely remember holding the honors diploma over which I spent four years sweating or how it felt when I finally got that A in calculus. I’ve never re-read what people wrote in my yearbook. Throughout my life, my sweetest encounters with Him have been in those pockets of His creation that didn’t include a scrolling feed or an off button or an A+.

“The heavens declare the glory of God,

    and the sky above proclaims his handiwork.” Psalm 19:1

(“Earth’s crammed with heaven,” says Elizabeth Barrett Browning)

The Beauty of Summer

And the beauty of summer is that it’s permission to put a grand ol’ pause on the high-speed chase of a world that’s skulking after our hearts and the hearts of our children (those hearts that were created to imbibe Him slowly and over years).

It’s permission to practice putting a grand ol’ pause on the parts of our minds that have slowly begun to believe that a successful life is a jam-packed schedule, an instant tap into what’s happening RIGHT NOW, or soaring test scores and first place trophies.

It’s permission to find pockets of His wonder — for us and for them — that won’t show up on a feed.

Summer is sand-filled bathing suits and the dirt from yesterday’s weeding still underneath your fingernails. It is His beauty in the interruptions and the freedom that comes when our control and our order is trumped by holy distraction.

It’s stopping to notice His handiwork in a one-hundred year old tree.

It’s her head on your shoulder, just before you planned to tuck her in, asking the question that the canopy covering of night has made safe for her still-shy heart to ask. It is the butterfly that landed right smack dab in his hand and slowed your family walk to a halt.

Summer is catching fireflies in our nightshirt after bedtime.

It’s where we see that letting go of schedules and lists and even the necessary order for running a home opens our eyes to the rushing wind of His Spirit.

Summer is the unplanned – not what was interrupted but what did the interrupting. Summer is a chance for me and my children to see Him and His Holy Spirit, anew.

Our God is a God of seasons and summer, for me, is an early (inviting) taste of finding Him in the unexpected. Our fingernails are dirty and we’ve brought half the beach’s sand home in our car, but I’m finding the wonder of God outside my four walls and too-limited flesh and praying they’ll do the same.

Taking Gulps of His Wonder

Let your children climb high trees this summer and swim in waters too deep for your mama-fears. Take a break from expectations you’ve had of their output or external success and ask Him what His dreams are for them. Unplug your computer and let that inbox get bloated while you hike up your shorts and catch crawdads in the creek up the road from your house.

They need to see you taking gulps of His wonder — outside of your norm — to learn that His Spirit is more inviting than a screen.

Bake cookies after bedtime and watch for shooting stars.

Hold them tight and let them watch you let go a little bit.

Summer is for falling in love with our God, anew.

Summer is for holy undoing and His holy reclaiming of the parts of our hearts that find Him outside of our technologically-oriented and driven world.

(Take your children with you as you give your twenty-six and thirty-four and fifty-five year-old heart permission to find Him in the great pause of summer.)

Sara Hagerty

(This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

Sara Hagerty is the author of Every Bitter Thing Is Sweet: Tasting the Goodness of God in All Things.  “This is one of the most beautiful books I’ve read in a very long time. Sara Hagerty is a particularly gifted writer (she has the most lovely writing style!) and her story touches the deepest of places. I found myself stopping many times while reading and just staring off as I pondered the truth of what she had to say. Inspiring, convicting, and touching. I highly recommend this book!” ~ Lisa Jacobson

 

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Author informationSara Hagerty

Sara is a wife to Nate and a mother of five whose arms stretched wide across the expanse between the United States and Africa. After almost a decade of Christian life she was introduced to pain and perplexity and, ultimately, intimacy with Jesus.

God met her and moved her when life stopped working for her. And out of the overflow of this perplexity, came her writing, both on her blog and in her book – Every Bitter Thing Is Sweet, just released via Zondervan.

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When Your Heart Is Troubled: 3 Scriptures to Settle Your Soul

My heart is troubled.

Aching, really.

And I wish it wasn’t so.

Because I want to walk in faith and not worry so much.

To be unshaken by my present circumstances and undaunted by today’s challenges.

And yet here I am troubled in spirit and unsettled in my soul.

Longing for Home

You probably know that we care for my mother-in-law and that she and Dad have lived with us for the past 17 years.

And how I love her.

And how much she means to me.

And how she suffers from Alzheimer’s and hardly recognizes who we are anymore.

It has become increasingly difficult to care for her – not because we don’t want to –  but because her condition continues to deteriorate.

Among other things, she has this strong impulse to slip out the door and start walking out into the hundreds of empty acres that surround our property. Packing her fuzzy, pink slippers with her as she’s heading off to heaven.

God has called her and so she’s heading Home with her heavenly slippers tucked neatly under her arm. 

And she gets fairly irate when we try and stop her.

Even downright feisty.

I suppose I’d get irate too, if you stood in the way between me and heaven.

Yeah, I think I’d get good and mad and put up a fight.

So, you see, we just don’t know how much longer we can handle her.

Yet I gave her my word.

Several years ago I took her sweet hands into my own and looked into her eyes.

And I promised that we would always take care of her.

Always.

But what do you do when you can’t keep your promise? And what will we do when can no longer keep her here . . . when all she longs for is Home?

What then? 

A Troubled Heart

And you, my friend.

Maybe you don’t have your Mom taking long walks toward Heaven nearly every chance that she gets.

Maybe you’re worried about your marriage.

Or anxious for your children.

Or wondering how it’s possibly going to work out with your finances.

Maybe it’s poor health or difficult relationships or your stressful job.

And it deeply troubles your soul.

So what then? 
Call on the Lord. 

In my distress I called upon the Lord;

    to my God I cried for help.

From His temple He heard my voice,

    and my cry to Him reached His ears. ~ Psalm 18:6

Sometimes we forget that we can call on the Lord Almighty, Creator of the Universe, and we try to solve our problems all on our own. Crazy, to think we could forget such a thing.

And yet we do.

We look to ourselves for the answers, as if we could figure it out. Without Him.

But His Word says that our cries reach His ears. He is listening! He hears us and we can call on Him.

Anytime. Day or night.

So cry out to Him.

Trust in the Lord.

To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul.

 O my God, in you I trust;

     ~ Psalm 25:1-2a

We can have confidence that our God is watching over us. None of this catches Him by surprise. Not our sorrows and not our circumstances.

He is good and kind and powerful.

Put your trust in God and He will not fail you. 

Wait on the Lord.

Wait for the Lord;

    be strong, and let your heart take courage;

    wait for the Lord! ~ Psalm 27:14

Right now. That’s when I want my problem solved. I want to know the solution today.

But Scripture tells us to “wait for the Lord.” Not rush ahead and try solve the issue this very minute. We can quiet our souls, knowing that we are safe and well in His hands.

Wait on the Lord. He is able to deliver you. 

It Is Well With My Soul

Last night, before turning in, I checked on Dad and Mom to see if they were doing alright. I found them sitting there at the kitchen table holding hands and singing their hearts out to old gospel tunes. One right after the other.

Could see Dad with big tears in his eyes. Big sweet tears.

It was one of those rare moments when Mom knew who he was and that he was her faithful, loving husband.

And she knew that their time on earth was growing short.

And they talked about tying a rope to each other, so that when one went . . . the other could follow.

And I wished it was like that.

But it’s not. So here they are, waiting on the Lord.

And if they can do it? So can I.

And so can you.

Call. Trust. Wait. 

Be strong and let your heart take courage. 

In His grace,

 

*I’d be grateful if you prayed for dear Patricia, if you think about it. And I’d be glad to pray for you too, if you want to leave your request in the comments below. 

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Author informationLisaOwner at Club 31 Women

Lisa is the happily-ever-after wife of Matthew Jacobson and together they enjoy raising and home-educating their 8 children in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. She's also rather fond of dark chocolate, French press coffee, and deep friendships (though not necessarily in that order). She encourages women to embrace the rich life of loving relationships and the high calling of being a wife and mother. Lisa is the author of 100 Ways to Love Your Husband and her husband is the author of 100 Ways to Love Your Wife. They are also the authors of several children's books, including a winner of the C.S. Lewis Silver Medal for Children's Literature.

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My Top 5 Picks: What to Read This Summer

I love summer.

Love, love, love.

And you want to know why?

Okay, I’ll tell you.

First of all, I am a sunshine girl. All the way.

Some of my other family members might wilt and complain about the heat of summer. Not me. I bask in it.

And I love the slow mornings and taking our coffee out on the patio.

And I love eating fresh-picked blueberries and homegrown tomatoes from our garden.

But you know what else I love?
Reading.

For hours and hours on the front porch swing.

Or on the shores of the lake while the kids splash and swim.

Or in my camp chair while the rest of the family goes hiking and exploring.

You might say I have a Reading Problem.

So for any of you who have a similar problem?

I’ve got some wonderful recommendations for you!

(This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

My Top 5 Picks for Summer Reading

Here they are in no particular order….

Hiding in the Light: Why I Risked Everything to Leave Islam and Follow Jesusby Rifqa Bary. Wow. This is some story! Written by a young woman who came to Christ as a teenager after having been raised in a strict Muslim home.  Rifqa offers a very powerful testimony of the kind of faith we are all called to walk.  Her amazing story is well-written, gripping, and inspiring. Available here.

The Unveiled Wife: Embracing Intimacy with God and Your Husband by Jennifer Smith.  The Unveiled Wife is like no other marriage book I’ve read. I’ve not encountered such a raw and honest portrayal of the deep pain and difficult struggle that can go on in a young marriage—-even one that is committed to Christ. And yet what beauty is revealed when God slowly, gently reveals His purposes and His healing in their relationship.  So much love and hope offered in these pages! Available here.

Flash: The Homeless Donkey Who Taught Me about Life, Faith, and Second Chancesby Rachel Anne Ridge. So you’re wondering why you’d want to read a book about a donkey this summer? Just trust me on this one. It’s sweet and it’s funny and it’s poignant. I laughed aloud in some places and found myself unexpectedly tearing up in others. Besides, I fell in love with this donkey before the book was half way through. And I never thought I’d say that! Available here.

Every Bitter Thing Is Sweet: Tasting the Goodness of God in All Things by Sara Hagerty. I know. I’ve mentioned this book before. I read it for the first time last fall and read the entire thing in one sitting (on a long cross-country flight). I’m telling you, I could hardly put it down. I’m reading it again this summer, this time more slowly and look forward to savoring the beauty and truth found in this gorgeously written book. Available here.

Through Gates of Splendor: The Event That Shocked the World, Changed a People, and Inspired a Nation  by Elisabeth Elliot. As you might know, Mrs. Elliot recently went Home to be with her Savior and there were heartfelt tears here in our household. I met Mrs. Elliot over 20 years ago and enjoyed occasional correspondence with her over the years. Even when she was too ill to write herself, her husband Lars would write on her behalf (by hand!) and I treasure both her wisdom and her words.

If you’ve never read her book, Through the Gates of Splendor, or if it’s been a long time since you did, I highly recommend this incredible story of the adventures – and ultimate sacrifice – of five young couples ministering down in the jungles of Ecuador. Their story has had a profound impact on our entire family. Available here.

I hope you enjoy these books as much as I have this summer!

Now off to the porch swing to read . . . . .

*And what are you reading this summer? Please share any recommendations you might have for us!

Blessings,

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Author informationLisaOwner at Club 31 Women

Lisa is the happily-ever-after wife of Matthew Jacobson and together they enjoy raising and home-educating their 8 children in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. She's also rather fond of dark chocolate, French press coffee, and deep friendships (though not necessarily in that order). She encourages women to embrace the rich life of loving relationships and the high calling of being a wife and mother. Lisa is the author of 100 Ways to Love Your Husband and her husband is the author of 100 Ways to Love Your Wife. They are also the authors of several children's books, including a winner of the C.S. Lewis Silver Medal for Children's Literature.

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Encouragement for Weary Penny-Pinchers

I am frugal by nature and generally enjoy the challenge of saving money and living on a tight budget.

But every now and then, I simply get weary of it all.

Needing to carefully analyze whether every purchase is a good buy leaves me feeling exhausted, and I get frustrated that our finances (or the lack thereof!) control so much of what we can and cannot do.  Sometimes I even feel like being totally irresponsible and blowing money on something ridiculous “just because.”

Whenever I am on the edge of burnout, there are several things that I have found beneficial to do to refocus and renew my energy for living frugally.  And since we all seem to deal with “budget burnout” one time or another, I think you’ll find the helpful as well!

ENCOURAGEMENT FOR WEARY PENNY PINCHERS
1. Remember Why You are Saving

Why are you pinching pennies?  What is it that is motivating you to live frugally in the first place?

Is it because you are working at paying off your student loans?  Is it so you can stay at home with your children?  Are you saving up to replace your older car with a newer one?

For us it’s been a variety of things.  When we first got married it was so that we could purchase a house and pay it off as soon as possible.  Once our house was paid off, our motivation to live frugally was simply that we could have more to share with others in need.  Now our goal is to get my husband through college without going into debt.

Reminding yourself of what you are working towards and thinking about that goal can be helpful to refocus and make it a little easier to do the hard work of sacrificing.

2. Take a Break

You know how a vacation can leave you feeling refreshed and ready to face the busyness of life again?  Sometimes it’s helpful to take a short vacation of sorts from being frugal too.

I’m not suggesting that you spend your money carelessly and rack up debt on your credit card.  Rather, I simply recommend you take a short break from being intently focused on saving to allow yourself the chance to relax and refresh a bit.

One of the ways I do this is to take a break from using coupons.  I’m an avid coupon user and it’s one of the main things that allows us to have a $200/mo. grocery budget, but it also takes quite a bit of time and energy too!  So when I start feeling that exhaustion and burned out feeling creeping in, I’ll slack off on couponing for a couple of weeks.  It doesn’t necessarily mean that I won’t use any coupons during that time, just that I’ll not be as aggressive in my deal shopping. For instance, instead of going to 3 stores those weeks, I’ll just pick the one that has the best deals and shop there.

3. Count your Blessings

Take a moment and write down 20 things that you are grateful for.  Or make it 40!  Focusing on those things instead of how frustrating your tight budget is doesn’t necessarily change your financial situation, but it can change your outlook.  And sometimes that is all that we need to help refocus ourselves and keep us going!

4. Splurge a Little

I know it might sound surprising, but one of the things that I have found helpful is to allow myself a small splurge when I’m feeling burned out with budgeting.

You know, something we don’t typically do like enjoying an evening out for dinner, buying a new book that I’ve wished I could read (I rarely buy books of any kind, let alone new) or grabbing a bouquet of fresh cut flowers at our local farmer’s market.

Yes, it may set us back a tiny bit in getting ahead financially, but something about relaxing a little like that usually gives me an incentive boost and helps me feel like doing the hard work of saving again.

5. Prioritize

While I love saving money, I’ve finally realized that I need to prioritize when it comes to choosing how to save.  As we had more children and I got busier, some things just didn’t provide enough savings for the amount of time that they took to do or the benefit of doing them wasn’t great enough.

For instance, making my laundry detergent was fairly easy to do and saved quite a bit of money.  But over time, due to our extremely hard water, it felt like it wasn’t really getting our clothes clean any more.  So I decided that for now, making my own detergent is just one of those things that isn’t worth doing and I instead focus my energy on finding other ways to save.

What about you?  What do you find helpful when you are dealing with budget burnout?   

~ Lydia, ThriftyFrugalMom

Lydia is a God loving, committed wife and stay-at-home mom of 3 who loves encouraging women in all aspects of homemaking. She and her family enjoy the adventure of living in the city near the beautiful Amish country in Pennsylvania.  She is also the blogger behind Thrifty Frugal Mom where she loves sharing easy, from-scratch recipes, inspiration for successful homemaking and lot of great money saving ideas!

You can also find Lydia on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest!

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What Makes Marriage Strong and Beautiful: A Few Things You Might Not Know

Love is a complicated infrastructure.

A thing you are either building up or letting fall into decay.

What makes it strong are the deeds done in the everyday walk of life.

What makes it beautiful is two unique people coming together and making their own unique kind of love.

It doesn’t come from textbooks or formulas, or to-do lists.

You’ve probably seen my parents from afar, either online here or maybe speaking at a conference somewhere. But I’ve lived around them for a long time, so in case you were wondering . . .

Here are a few things you might not know about my parents’ love:
They talk about everything.

Even tiny, inconsequential things.

Sometimes I wonder at them as they sit chatting away about a subject that seems to be of little importance. They mull it over, and in between second cups of coffee, they look at it from their different angles.

It’s a slow process, and I must confess, sometimes, as an observer, I grow impatient. Why talk about the small things of life? Schedules? Planning? Little worries and concerns?

And then it came clear to me one day . . . that to them, this was sharing life.

There are so few mountain top experiences in this life, and they could not wait at the bottom hungering for them.

They find their love, on Monday and Wednesday, and the week-end.

They make their love talking about the smallest of things.

They live their life confiding the tiniest thoughts.

They like going everywhere together.

Even to tiny, inconsequential places.

Again, this seems to me to be taken somewhat too far.

Going to feed the chickens? Let me come with you! Going to work in the garden? I’ll come.

No matter how small the destination happens to be – either of them is usually willing to tag along. It could be a trip to Home Depot, it could be to Costco. It could be to the tree nursery, or to the bank.

And all this takes place in little, dry, dusty Central Oregon.

But by their attitudes, you’d think they were going out for a round of champagne kisses.

They love touching each other.

Even in tiny, inconsequential places.

Dad and Mom like touching each other. Of course, since there are eight of us kids pretty much always around, they have to keep it toned down. But it seems to me that little touches are a thing too. Maybe brushing the back of a tired head, or stroking hair that’s gone a bit flat at the end of the day.

Sometimes I see them touching – without touching – by a look. It’s really understated most of the time.

It’s a slow burn of love, and it keeps on from day to day.

They take care of each other’s hearts.

Even in tiny, inconsequential ways.

If Dad is feeling worn out, Mom will often encourage him to go do something she knows will help him relax. Sometimes mom is feeling stressed,  and you’ll hear dad telling her to retire earlier than normal in the evening.

If one is down, the other will hurry to support. It’s like a friend thing.

Sometimes I get the feeling that they are just best friends. Not so much just lovers.

And, yes, in case you’re wondering, they argue.

And they get mad at each other . . . even sometimes for tiny, inconsequential things.

But all that never lasts long.

Their love is not perfect. It’s something much sexier than that.

It’s real.

With love,

Savoury Jacobson

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Author informationSavoury Jacobson

Savoury is the oldest daughter of Matthew and Lisa Jacobson. She is a young, Christian blogger who loves talking about new things with old souls. Her main passion is to inspire people to live free in a world that would put us all in chains. She has many interests ranging from classical music, to politics, to travel. She loves to think and write, but even more than that she loves to do. You can find more of Savoury over at her travel blog LiveFree.

You can also follow her on Instagram.

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How To Teach a Tween Who Already Knows It All

I don’t know everything.

That’s a fact.

However I do like to think that I know more than an 11 year old.

Apparently that’s become questionable. I have an 11 year old…

and she doesn’t always believe me!

She is indeed a very gifted, intelligent and knowledgeable girl. With a little time and very little guidance she can figure most things out on her own. She has always been able to do that and lately, “I know, mom,” has become one of her favorite phrases.

I am convinced that she has known how to walk and talk since day 6, she just needed to wait for her legs and mouth to catch up!

In fact, I have a very vivid memory of her being obviously frustrated as a 5-month old. She just would not stop bellowing a tearless, yet ferocious cry. This was not just a once in a while occasion, this was sort of her way of life.

Unpredictable, inconsolable, adorable, delightful and persistent!

Beyond the obvious—a diaper change, sleep or food—I could never fully figure out what she needed, what went wrong or how to fix it.

Welcome to motherhood. 

Was It Just Me?

As a new and fairly young mom, I just did not know what to do with her. Surely something was wrong. It had to be.

So I did what I had to do.

One day we hoped in the car and went for a 2 hour drive back home to my family. When we arrived I handed my unhappy baby over to the capable hands of my aunt and immediately found an empty bed and crashed—I needed a nap! Shortly after, I awoke to the oohs and ahhs of a delightful 5-month baby girl. I was so confused.

Was it just me, her mother, that she didn’t like?

My sweet aunt must have recognized the look on my face because she looked up at me and said, “This baby girl is going to be just fine. Nothing is wrong with her, she just knows what she wants and can’t wait to tell you what to do!”

At the time I did not quite know what to do with that information. Eleven years later however, I completely understand what she was saying.

This girl of mine knows exactly what she wants…even when I know better!

Now that she is learning to express herself verbally, think logically and behave rationally (mostly), I find myself trying to balance between a few things.

Between her strength as an amazing young woman and my authority as her mom.

Between her desire for control and God’s call for obedience.

Between her need to express herself and my desire to just fix it.

I am learning how to give her the knowledge I have, but the freedom she needs to process it.

She needs to own her growth.

There is no doubt in my mind that God is writing a beautiful story with her life and one of the hardest challenges I face as her mom is giving her the space she needs to grow in His wisdom and understanding.

Giving Your Tween the Space Needed to Grow
So how do you handle giving your growing tween what she needs regardless of what you know?

Here are 4 tips that are helping me daily:

1.  Do more than you say– even when she doesn’t want to listen, she sees you. Let your life and your actions show her what to do.

Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth. ~ 1 John 3:18

2.  Ask her questions that you don’t need answered. Ask her questions that cause her to think about what she knows about God and pray that it leads her to seek Him for understanding.

Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance. ~ Proverbs 1:5

3.  Seek Wisdom– we just need it. Always.

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. ~ James 1:5

4.  Remember Who She Belongs To.  She has been His and will always be His. He created her just the way she needs to be to fulfill the purpose and plan He has for her life in His Kingdom!

Psalm 139:13-15

For you formed my inward parts;

you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wonderful are your works;

my soul knows it very well.

Blessings,

~ Wynter Pitts, ForGirlsLikeYou

********
For Girls Like You: A Devotional for Tweens

Tween girls have access to an unbelievable amount of media and information with just a simple click of the remote or mouse. Every outlet they turn to attempts to subtly influence their worldview…and what they believe about themselves directly affects how they live.

Wynter Pitts, founder of For Girls Like You magazine, gives girls a new devotional showing them a correct definition of themselves, opening their eyes to God’s truth and the differerence it makes in their lives. Each daily devotion includes a prayer to help girls apply the lesson. ~ from the Publisher

(This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

Available here: For Girls Like You: A Devotional for Tweens 

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Author informationWynter Pitts

Wynter Pitts is the author of the newly-released, For Girls Like You: A Devotional for Tweens. She is also the founder of For Girls Like You, a ministry to girls that includes a print magazine. She has a drive to introduce young girls to Christian values so they can walk passionately and boldly. A native of Baltimore, Wynter resides in Dallas, Texas, with her husband, Jonathan, and their four daughters.

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What More Can You Ask For In A Husband and Father? {& Peanut Butter Butterfinger Pie}

As soon as I saw him interact with his younger brothers and sisters, I knew, I just knew, that one day he was going to be a great dad.

Wait, I take that back.

I knew that one day he was going to be an amazing dad to any future kids he had.

I was just hoping they would also be mine.

But back up. I wasn’t even married to him, or engaged for that matter. I had only known my now husband for about a month then, and already I was dreaming about marrying him and starting a family someday!

Lucky for me, he felt the same way.

But I’m not sure he felt that way a month after we had known each other. He took his time promising himself to me, while I was ready to jump right in and marry him, like yesterday and at 19 years old.

There was only one problem.

I had been informed by one of my doctors that it would be difficult to nearly impossible for me to have children.

Crazy In Love

We met in June, two weeks after I graduated high school. In January Josh told me he loved me for the first time. By April we were engaged and married by August.

I was 19 years old and he was 18 years old.

Just little baby newlyweds all goo-goo eyed and crazy in love.

Three weeks after our honeymoon, a nudge of intuition pushed me to buy a specific kind of test, you know…the kind that tells you if your life is going to change dramatically in about nine months?

I had planned on taking the test on my lunch break, but when my mother-in-love walked into the building where I worked, my inability to keep a secret got the better of me, and I told her my suspicions – she in turn encouraged me to take the test right away. So I did.

Right away a pink line indicating that I was going to be a parent popped up and my heart nearly burst.

I was pregnant. I was pregnant with his child.

We were going to be parents, and I would finally get to see him with a little tiny baby cradled in his arms…an image that has been prominently glued to my memory, an image that makes my heart leap and almost burst at the thought.

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! ~ Psalm 127:3-5

Three kids (two daughters and a son) later, I still feel the same way as I did when I watched him first interact with his siblings. But now my heart skips a beat because I see him laughing, playing, comforting, and training them, not to mention teaching and showing them the love of Christ.

What more could I ask for in a husband and father?

Peanut Butter Butterfinger Pie

It’s our church’s Father’s Day tradition of serving all the men pies after our Sunday service (they serve us breakfast on Mother’s Day).

My husband is kind of crazy about any kind of peanut butter dessert so I generally try to make something that I know he specifically will enjoy. This Peanut Butter and Butterfinger pie is definitely one of those, and if the father of your children is anything like mine, I promise that he will enjoy this pie for Father’s Day, too.

*What are some of your Father’s Day traditions?

~ Chels {Catz in the Kitchen}

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Print Peanut Butter Butterfinger Pie with a Pretzel Crust Author: Chelsia Rief Recipe type: Dessert Serves: 10   Sweet and Salty is the theme of this creamy peanut butter pie. With chunks of Butterfinger and a salty pretzel crust, it's the perfect dessert to serve this summer. Ingredients 1 pkg (8 oz) cream cheese, softened ½ cup sugar ¼ cup creamy peanut butter 2 cups Cool Whip, thawed 12 (fun sized) Butterfinger candy bars, finely chopped ½ cup hot fudge topping, melted 2 cups crushed pretzel crumbs 6-8 tbsp butter, melted Instructions Pre-heat oven to 250 degrees. In a food processor, process pretzels until they are fine little pieces. (You do not want a true crumb. You want the pretzel to still have some of it's former shape.) In a saucepan or microwave safe bowl, heat butter until melted. Use 6 tablespoons of butter if you want your crust to be crumbly. Or 8 tablespoons if you want a slightly firmer crust. Combine pretzel crumbs and butter until completely incorporate and pour into a 9-inch pie plate, make sure the bottom is evenly covered and the crumbs go up the sides. Bake the pie crust for 10-12 minutes. Remove and place on wire rack and allow to cool. Finely chop 9 of the fun-sized candy bars, reserving 3 for topping the pie. In a large bowl of your stand mixer using the paddle attachment, combine cream cheese, sugar, and peanut butter and beat until blended. Add whipped cream and the chopped Butterfingers and beat gently on a low speed until evenly distributed. Pour the peanut butter batter on top of the baked pretzel crust and gently, using a spatula, spread the mixture until it is evenly spread over the crust. Add the hot fudge topping to a microwave-safe bowl and heat for 30 seconds. Stir. It may not be completely melted after 30 seconds, so heat for an additional 10 secs, stirring after each interval. Gently pour and spread the hot fudge topping over the top of the pie, gently spreading the chocolate around, but leaving about a ½-inch space around the edge of the pie. Chop the remaining 3 Butterfinger bars and scatter the Butterfinger crumbs over the chocolate. Refrigerate for 6-8 hours before serving. #version#















Author informationChelsia Rief

Chels is a born-again believer who dreams of living with all four seasons in Central Oregon. She's a wife and stay at home mom to her three vivacious kiddos whom she home schools. When she's not schooling or chasing after her munchkins, she enjoys reading, bubble baths, and finding clothing/kitchen treasure at thrift stores. But more than all of that, she finds refuge in her kitchen where she and her husband can be found cooking and baking up a storm for their family and friends. You can read more about her culinary endeavors at CatzintheKitchen.com.

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Creating a Romantic Refuge in Your Very Own Home {& Giveaway}

I am a hopeless romantic.

You might not guess that when you first meet me because I’m so terribly practical.

You can ask my kids. They’ll tell you.

Practical to a fault.

I make lists, organize the spice cupboard, and draw up chore charts.

Practical things. 

So you might not see that underneath all this sensible exterior, I have this rather romantic heart.

But it’s true.

I love beauty and elegance and adventure.

Flowers and art.

Quiet conversation and holding hands.

But I’m afraid these things don’t necessarily line up with our Real Life.

The one where we have 8 kids, the health challenges of his parents, and the pressures of work deadlines.

Bills to pay and errands to run.

Basically, just plain, everyday unromantic life takes over.

Or, at least it would if we let it.

But a few years ago I decided that life is too short and our relationship is too important to let that happen.

So I determined to create a romantic refuge in our very own home.

A sweet spot that the two of us can slip off to whenever we get the chance.

And then I make sure that this chance happens.

Sometimes it’s right before dinner when he arrives home from work.

Or maybe after the kids are in bed late at night.

In the summer months, it’s likely to be in the morning before the heat of the day sets in.

So you see, the “when” hardly even matters—all you need is a where and that is totally up to you!

And that’s also where all the fun begins . . . .

A Romantic Refuge
It takes less to create a Romantic Refuge than you might think. All you need is . . .
A place to sit.

Two chairs or a couch will work. In the summer, we have a couple of chairs designated out on the back patio. In the winter, it’s a cozy spot near the fireplace. We even have a sweet corner in our bedroom now for when we desire more privacy from the children. (Yes, that makes 3 “Romantic Refuges,” but this number grew over time.)

Touches of beauty.

Now don’t get stuck on this one because it takes sooo little to make a small space lovely. Truly. All you have to do is to make sure it’s clean, neat, add a few bits of beauty and voila! romance. Pick out some flowers, a pretty picture or two, and throw in a darling pillow and you’ve got it!

And loving conversation.

We have certain “rules” of what we can – and cannot – discuss in our Romantic Refuge. For instance, this is not the time to talk about our finances, or the children’s misbehavior, or problems at work. That is saved for another setting. Because this is the place where we talk about us and dreams and good things.

*Bonus tip: Do NOT put pressure on your guy or this will take all the fun out of it for him. You don’t even need to tell him that this is your “romantic refuge” because he might misunderstand and feel pressure to “perform.” Instead, simply entice him with a warm smile and something special to eat or drink. Communicate that there’s no agenda, other than enjoying being together.

We Still Do Giveaway
So you’re ready to create your own Romantic Refuge?

Wonderful! Because I’ve got a surprise for you.

Remember how I mentioned  adding a “darling pillow” earlier?

Well, I have a total thing about pillows. If you ever come over to our home, you’ll see that I’ve got them scattered just about everywhere: bedroom, living room, patio—you name it!

And today I’m offering a giveaway for 3 of these very romantic, We Still Do pillows from Ever Thine Home!

I love this beautiful reminder of our promises to love each other . . .  for the rest of our lives.

A perfect start to a romantic refuge!

Ever Thine Home

Ever Thine Home is a lovely holiday and home collection begun by Barbara Rainey and a part of Family Life.  Not only am I thankful for their faithful ministry to families, I’m inspired by their beautiful offerings for the home. So you can imagine how thrilled I was when they offered to join me in this giveaway!

More here: Ever Thine Home

*And, as an additional gift to Club31Women readers, they are offering us a 10% discount on all items (which are reasonably priced, I might add!).  Just use the code: Club31ETH when you check out.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

I can hardly wait to hear how your Romantic Refuge turns out!

Blessings on you both,

 (This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

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Author informationLisaOwner at Club 31 Women

Lisa is the happily-ever-after wife of Matthew Jacobson and together they enjoy raising and home-educating their 8 children in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. She's also rather fond of dark chocolate, French press coffee, and deep friendships (though not necessarily in that order). She encourages women to embrace the rich life of loving relationships and the high calling of being a wife and mother. Lisa is the author of 100 Ways to Love Your Husband and her husband is the author of 100 Ways to Love Your Wife. They are also the authors of several children's books, including a winner of the C.S. Lewis Silver Medal for Children's Literature.

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Those Little Things That Speak Big Volumes of Love

I’ve determined that my husband Ted has a foot fetish.

Okay, maybe “fetish” isn’t the right word. Perhaps “preoccupation” or “fixation” better applies here.

When I mentioned this to him the other day, he looked confused.

Foot? Fetish? Huh? Yep, his expression said it all.

That is, until I explained. Suddenly this confused look of his was replaced with one of understanding. You see, I reminded him how often matters of feet make him feel loved.

Take, for example, the matching of his freshly washed socks. In our twelve plus years of marriage, this is one action that he’s consistently responded to with an enthusiastic “You love me!”

But that’s not all.

As quirky as it may be, Ted likes me to touch his foot with my foot in the morning before I get out of bed. To him it’s a nonverbal reminder that “We’re good. There isn’t anything strained between us.” It helps him start the day freshly reminded that I love him.

And, if I really want my hot-footed husband to remember that he holds my heart, I grab a bottle of lotion and rub it on his feet while we Netflix binge watch in the evenings. Nothing like a foot massage to communicate to Ted that I’m still glad that I’m his wife.

What about your husband?

Perhaps he doesn’t have a “fantastic foot fetish,” as Ted now calls it, but I have no doubt there are little things that speak big volumes of love to your man. If nothing immediately comes to mind, perhaps it’s time to sharpen your inner Sherlock Holmes skills.

How can you do that? How can you strengthen those powers of observation?

Well, let’s get a bit scientific and look at four ways you can train yourself to be an expert in the ways of your husband.

1.     Observe

According to an article by Time, seeing and observing are not the same thing. It’s one thing “to see” or, as Dictionary.com notes, “to perceive with the eyes; to look at.” It’s another thing to “observe” or, as this trusty online resource explains, “regard with attention, especially so as to see or learn something.”

How can you make sure that you’re not simply seeing your husband, but actually observing him? You can do this by teaching yourself to focus your attention on the right details. This is where #2 comes in.

2.    Record

One way you can focus on the right details is by taking field notes. It might seem silly to pull out a notebook to write descriptions and maybe even draw pictures – you know, if you’re the artsy type – of the ways you notice your husband feels loved, but it’s something that Family Life President Dennis Rainey actually recommends. He encourages:

Become a student of your spouse. Make a list of things that communicate love to your mate and write it in something permanent that can’t be easily lost or forgotten.

3.     Analyze

Next, you can continually analyze your data. What do your notes tell you about the ways your husband feels most loved at this point in time? Is it when you speak affirming words to him? Perhaps it’s through acts of service, or maybe physical touch. Look for patterns or common threads. You know, perhaps things like feet.

4.     Test

Finally, make it a habit to regularly test out what you’re learning. Come up with hypotheses based on your observations and put them into action. Have fun determining “If I do _____, then my husband feels loved.”

In an article at ThrivingFamily.com, Dr. Paul C. and Teri K Reisser note:

Your school days may be long behind you, but you never need to stop learning. Careers, hobbies, parenting – life is full of opportunities to grow and gain new knowledge. Unfortunately, there is one subject that far too many adults stop learning about: the person they married.

Let’s not be those adults.

Instead, let’s be wives who are experts in the ways of our husbands. Wives who can confidently determine whether or not our husband has a “fantastic foot fetish.”

Ashleigh

(This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.)

 Team Us: Marriage Together

by Ashleigh Slater

Like a conversation with a true friend, this book is open, real, and honest. Ashleigh invites you inside her heart and home to humbly share wisdom gained from experiences she and her husband walked through. Here you’ll find solid teaching that is gentle, yet poignant, with a touch of humor, showing how to trust, to love freely, to keep no record of wrongs…and the many other ways of living that make for a rich, fulfilling marriage. We highly recommend this book for couples of any age. ~ Matthew and Lisa Jacobson

*You can read my full review of Ashleigh’s book HERE: A Book Review – Team US Marriage Together

Ashleigh Slater is the author of the book, Team Us: Marriage Together (Moody Publishers). As the founder and editor of Ungrind Webzine and a regular contributor at several popular blogs and websites, she loves to combine the power of a good story with biblical truth and practical application. Ashleigh lives in Atlanta with her husband Ted and four daughters.

To learn more, visit AshleighSlater​.com. You can also find her on Facebook or follow her on Twitter at @ashslater.

 

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