Pam Charles's Blog, page 9

My poor old heart

Well, what can I say about last week? L.I.V.E.R.P.O.O.L, Liverpool FC!!!! What a game against Borussia Dortmund. I have goosebumps again writing about it. I usually support Dortmund unless they are playing Liverpool of course. Lucas' favourite, non-Liverpool player is Hummels – he even named one of his teddies after him. Honestly, my poor old heart could not bear it. Oh, my poor neighbours… Lucas reckoned I could be heard in Liverpool… we are in Leeds, 204km (or if you're old, like me, 74.3 miles). It was an incredible night, definitely on a par with Istanbul. The team had assistance from the angels above. Onwards and upwards – with hope in our hearts.
 
Friday was a solemn day, the 15th April always is. It makes me so angry! I cannot imagine how the families and those affected by Hillsborough feel but justice is coming. Incredibly proud of all those who have fought tirelessly for the truth and justice – especially Anne Williams. #JFT96


Meniere's Madness
One thing Meniere's tries to strip you of is, self-confidence. It's a pain in the… It probably sounds ridiculous and over dramatic, but my worst fear is going out and having a drop attack and not being able to get home to the boys. The thought of it absolutely terrifies me, so much so I talk myself out of going places. It is so frustrating and makes me loathe myself for letting it get to me. Prior to Meniere's I used to love going out for days on my own – visiting museums and places of interest. I even travelled down to the French Grand Prix, accompanied only by Wes when he was six.  On Saturday, I got up for the F1 qualifying and couldn't decide whether I should stay in or go to the NHS march in Leeds. I want to be a part of the change and show the boys that you can change the world. By 9am, I had talked myself out of going – fear of being in the City Centre on my own, even though thousands were present! By 10.30am, bonkers Boris was spouting on the news about Brexit and I decided I was going to defy the demons and go to the demonstration. 
I am so glad I forced myself to go. Wes is eighteen and more than capable of looking after Lucas, although Lucas will tell you he is capable of looking after himself. 
For the last thirty years, I've been driving people mad shouting about cover-ups, media bias, economic policy failures and corruption. For most of that time, I have felt alone, shouting down a bottomless void! Now, I won't say I told you so…or maybe I will. The Labour Party has returned to my kind of party and my principles. As soon as I qualified to, I joined the writers' union – Writers' Guild of Great Britain. They offer so many great services and have negotiated excellent contracts and fees. Trade Unions have been, for too long, undermined but their work should not be underestimated. The media and establishment like to paint a negative, trouble making image of them; let's face it we only hear about them when there is a strike. Thatcher did a wonderful job in damning the trade unions. However, they carry out tremendous work, behind the warped headlines. I am so happy the Labour party has returned to closer ties with trade unions. We can work together for the greater good. Roll on 2020.
Anyway, I am glad I went to the demonstration. I met some lovely people, put the world to right and had a full blown debate with a gentleman about the woes of Leeds United. I came home as proud as punch, knowing I'd beaten the inner demons this time. I WON!! It was disappointing the media chose to ignore the demonstrations. We will still be heard.
Today, the school holidays are over. I've missed having the boys around but I've been incredibly busy cleaning their bear pits and writing. I think Lucas missed me too. This is what he did as soon as he came home…bless him.


Streetwise     When I'm writing a new story, after drawing up a plan, I just write and write. Some of it won’t make it beyond the first edit but I find it much easier to just write what flows out, then get rid of it afterwards. I'm sure it is not the most efficient way but it is effective.
Streetwise started out about Kate and her life since saving Rob's life. It soon became so much more with addition of Georgina, a homeless teenager who considers being on the streets safer than the life she has left behind. After Georgina, came Colleen, Kate's work colleague and volunteer at the homeless charity. Colleen is hiding behind a new identity forced upon her, to hide from the horrors of her past life. The changes to the focus of the story-line came about after I completed a Screenwriting course and after using beat sheets. I am more confident with the story now…editing continues.

Beyond the Past
Have you had the chance to read it yet? 

Would you like to review it for me? 

Read the first three chapters FREE on my website
Available from:
Pegasus Publishers
Amazon UK
Kindle
Amazon US
Or you can order from your local bookshop. 
The ISBN number is : 978-1-84386-789-0 


Right, I'm off to feed the boys. Don't let your inner demons stop you from pursuing your dreams. The greatest reward is the celebration of freedom. Have a fabulous week and stay safe.

JUSTICE FOR THE 96 #JFT96

27 years ago men, women and children left for a football match and never came home. 27 years of lies. Justice is coming. Ashamed of how long it has taken.  I'm proud to be a Liverpool supporter and even more proud of the spirit, fight and dignity of my Liverpool friends. Justice for the 96. #JFT96

Thinking of you all today and Anne xx

well...well...well...we knew anyway

We are still in the midst of the Easter school holidays and have really enjoyed the break. It will be a shock for all of us, when we have to return to our school routine.
Whilst being off resting (HAHA!), I have been re-decorating the house. Well, I've managed My kitchen wall artto finish the kitchen and am about to start on the dining room. It's the first time I've attempted ceiling painting post Meniere's and I have to say, it was a complete and utter nightmare…but…I DID IT. I even managed it without falling although I think I wore more of the paint than was actually applied to the ceiling. Nevertheless, I did it!
Last weekend, I actually had the chance to get out and drop some leaflets for one of our local Labour candidates. It's been over 30 years since I was last out there. THIRTY YEARS!!! I feel SO old. I was nervous going out; I didn't know anyone and I do worry about drop attacks. I almost bottled it until 'bonkers' Boris Johnson came on the television and reminded me of all that is wrong with this country. I'm glad I went and it was a lovely, sunny morning. I learned two things – firstly, I will never make a postman, fighting with the letter boxes; secondly, I think it should be made law that all UK households have a post box attached to the side of their houses – they are much safer…and easier!
This weekend, Meniere's permitting, I am hoping to join the demonstration in Leeds to save our NHS. I hope to see some of you there.
Put your hands up if you were not surprised in the least of David Cameron's tax haven dealings. I will say it – I TOLD YOU SO! Dennis Skinner has always been a hero of mine, since I heard in speak during the Miner's strike but he elevated himself to true legend this week with his 'Dodgy Dave' comments – he only said what we were all thinking! We love you Dennis.
I don’t understand why some voters want to justify Cameron's actions, particularly in light of the thousands that have died due to austerity and benefit sanctions. Sending wealth overseas is morally unjustifiable, unpatriotic and in Cameron's case, wholly and totally hypocritical. By avoiding paying a lawful tax, you ARE breaking the law. It also explains why capitalism is not working and why we are in the state we are in. As I understand it, and no doubt I'll be corrected if I'm wrong, the theory of capitalism is entrepreneurs set up business, make money which is trickled down into the economy through wages and new re-investment. However, we are now seeing capitalism as its worst – low wages, high profits and those profits leaving the country and hidden away by greedy, selfish individuals. It explains why there is no long term economic plan. No wonder Cameron and all his cronies fear John McDonnell and Jeremy Corbyn – the truth is about to be revealed and there is no place to hide. It's time for change and I can feel the political richter scale quaking by seismic proportions. You have my support for change and social justice! I can categorically say I find the who tax evasion/ avoidance scam repulsive. Someone is bankrolling terrorism too – if these secret havens exist, what chance do we have of any peace? I would much prefer everyone to have the use of a fully functional NHS, the sick and disabled be looked after and our children have an education system which gives them world leading opportunities.
The soap box has gone away now…please don’t cheer too loudly.
Beyond the Lies
The book is currently with the publisher's review team. This can take two to three weeks. You'll be the first to know…after me of course.    
Beyond the Past
Have you had the chance to read it yet? 

Would you like to review it for me? 

Read the first three chapters FREE on my website
Available from:
Pegasus Publishers
Amazon UK
Kindle
Amazon US
Or you can order from your local bookshop. 
The ISBN number is : 978-1-84386-789-0 

Streetwise
And so the edit continues…well, actually it is more of a re-write after my screenwriting course. The focus has changed…happy days. I am looking forward to sharing this with you.
The Nanny
You may recall this started as a screenplay but has now changed to a book. There was too much detail for it to be a screenplay. The characters are really strong and I want to be able to share their strength. I am living with these characters until the book is complete.
PhD – my next dream
Next week, in between finished the decorating and writing, I'll be looking for PhD funding – I have everything in place but the money! It always comes down to money. Unfortunately, I don't have an offshore account to dip into but I'm not giving up on my next goal.
LFC
Liverpool play Borussia Dortmund tomorrow at Anfield. This house is very excited and we would like to wish the club all the luck in the world. If we score and win, I'm sure you will hear us in Liverpool from Leeds. I'll apologise to our neighbours in advance. Did you know, Leeds is twinned with Dortmund but our love and loyalty will always be with Liverpool FC!
Friday, is the anniversary of the Hillsborough disaster. I genuinely and truly wish the families and all those affected had gotten the justice they so deserve by now. You are all in our thoughts and we stand with you and support your outstanding efforts. We send our heartfelt love to you all. Justice is coming. #JFT96

"You'll Never Walk Alone".


Lots of love

 

FANFARE PLEASE…no.2

BEYOND THE LIES…done.
Have you ever experienced an empty feeling when your children have gone on a school residential or when they go back to school after the holidays? Well, that is the feeling I get when I finish a writing project. I know, it sounds ridiculous but it is true. Beyond the Lies has flown the nest – independent and accomplished. It's done. Finished. Completed. I emailed it to Pegasus, my publishers and now await their edit. It's very exciting but for the next few weeks, it's finished and out of my hands. I feel a great sense of satisfaction and makes me very happy and relaxed. It is truly amazing what you can achieve when you eliminate drama and negativity.



Beyond the Lies - The full extent of the conspiracy to frame former rugby player, Mark Smith for rape over twenty years ago, starts to emerge in this romantic thriller. Even DCI Harry Fisher has no inclination his investigation will lead to the most elusive, yet prolific criminal mind of a generation.
It's the first week of the Easter holidays for us. I love having the boys at home. Yesterday, we ventured out and watched Batman vs Superman. The verdict: Lucas as terrified and it was certainly not what I expected at all. Mind you, I'm an old fashioned super hero type of girl. When you're brought up on 'shark repellent spray' Batman and Robin, you kind of want Batman to be, well… less sinister. The worst shock of all – Michael Caine is not Alfred!! Really, come on…he was the BEST Alfred EVER. Please!

Next week, Lucas and I are going to see Eddie the Eagle - I think Lucas will love it.
POLITICS
You may have guessed I'm a bit of a political freak – oh and very proud of it I might add. I love politics, history, debates and current affairs. I'm one of those that sit and argue with the television…well, not actually with the television but the contents being beamed into my living room. Let's all be honest…who really believes the UK Tory Government ministers pay their fair share of tax AND declare all their earnings? Come on…we weren't all born yesterday. It truly disgusts me when people take the moral high ground yet do the exact opposite behind everyone's back. If you're in public office, you have to accept you have to walk the moral tightrope as well as preach it. It is time for tax evaders, expenses fiddlers and everyone else breaking the law, regardless of the money you hide, are prosecuted. Thank you Jeremy Corbyn and John McDonnell for standing up in public office to serve the country not yourselves.
#JFT96
Today the jury retired in the Hillsborough inquests. I cannot ever imagine what these families have been put through. My heart fills with pride when I think of their fight, and how, in spite of everything being stacked against them, they never gave up. I am in awe of their dignity, integrity and determination to fight against the establishment. Bless you all. Justice is now just around the corner. I just wish Anne Williams was still here to see the outcome of her tireless, selfless work. My working class hero.
 WRITING
To think in 2011 when I wrote my first novel, Beyond the Past, I had not had any previous experience at fictional writing. I wasn't even sure whether I could do it. As an Insurance Broker, I had done lots of technical writing and academic writing during my degree but no creative writing. I could have given up a few times but I've persevered with it. I don't just want to write, I actually want to improve and learn the craft. For that reason, Beyond the Lies has taken longer. I am glad of the criticism that has been thrown at me because it drove me to go away and learn, the beauty of having a University education and researching skills. I've completed a screenwriting course and carried out lots of research and reading. The more I learn, the better I write, the more my confidence grows and the less I listen to uneducated critics. I am thrilled with the new version of Beyond the Lies and confident it is my best work so far.
Beyond the Past
Have you had the chance to read it yet? 

Would you like to review it for me? 

Read the first three chapters FREE on my website
Available from:
Pegasus Publishers
Amazon UK
Kindle
Amazon US
Or you can order from your local bookshop. 
The ISBN number is : 978-1-84386-789-0
Streetwise
Following my screenwriting course, I have devised a beat sheet and adopted some of the techniques I learned during the course. Now I have a revised plan and script that I am totally confident in.
What non-writers don't understand is. The first draft, second draft and even the third draft are not necessarily the final cut. I'm happy to make mistakes and happy to admit I'm not an expert or guru but a work in progress. I'm learning my new craft and enjoying every minute of it.




My advice to you is follow your dreams – work for them; fight for them and enjoy every minute of them. I know I am.

I'm proud to be a socialist…

I suppose it is so easy for some people to get sucked into lies and I guess some people find it easy to lie. I honestly don't know how some people live with themselves but then if you don't have a conscience, you don't have a problem with lies, deceit and hurting people with your actions. I'm not sure whether it's a conscious decision in their lives to behave in this way or whether their life experience and/or lack of decent role models, make them that way. Either way, it actually disgusts me when people go out of their way to hurt someone else.
I know I made a very conscious decision many years ago that I was, indeed, a socialist. All I want is true equality, honesty, integrity and social justice - surely it's not too much to ask for, is it? It was a VERY conscious decision and something I am very proud of. It makes me smile when people try to insult me with labels such as 'Marxist', 'Leftie' or 'Commie'. Actually, they are not insulting words to me so thank you very much. I would rather be the way I am than a self-centred bigoted capitalist. When you hit them with this response, they have no idea what you are talking about and, I suspect, they don't really know what a Marxist or Communist is either. 
My son asked me if I was a feminist. When I explained to him the meaning of the word, he smiled and replied, 'no Mum you're not.' I asked him why he thought that and his reply was, 'because you want everyone to be treated the same.' Nine years old and he has a greater understanding of the world than most adults.
It's been a terribly sad week with tragic events in Turkey, Belgium, Iraq and Pakistan. My heart goes out to all those affected by these horrific events and to the wonderful emergency services, saving lives has no borders. In the UK, the media frenzy has been truly sickening at times. Why give these disgusting low life's the airtime? That is what they crave! It's time we fought harder for peace and pressed for Governments to actively stop the manufacture and sales of arms. Regrettably, the sale of arms is big business which ultimately is more important than saving the lives of people who they are supposed to represent. How do they sleep at night?
Sports Relief
So Lucas' carrot cake won first prize in the bake off competition. He was chuffed to bits.










Those best ideas…
Well, I had this fabulous idea of taking the boys over to Blackpool for the day to blow the cobwebs off and fill our lungs with some fresh, sea air. Unfortunately, it resulted in a wipeout virus for me, over Easter. I am still suffering but actually don't feel spaced out today – not sure that is a good or bad thing! Thankfully, we had all agreed we wanted an easy, chilled weekend. It has been just that. Lovely family time. The Day Job...  Beyond the Lies
Is ready for submission.  I just want to check the synopsis again tomorrow… yes…check, check and check again. 

Beyond the Past
Have you had the chance to read it yet? 

Would you like to review it for me? 

Read the first three chapters FREE on my website
Available from:
Pegasus Publishers
Amazon UK
Kindle
Amazon US
Or you can order from your local bookshop. 
The ISBN number is : 978-1-84386-789-0  Streetwise
The re-write is going well. This is my wall plan!! I love it! It's very dramatic and such an important issue – homelessness
      The Nanny
It's been quite appropriate working on this in the week of the centenary of the Easter rising. The research into the Troubles has lit old flames within me. It's easy to write about a subject that absolutely fascinates you.
I hope you have all had a peaceful Easter weekend. I have four days until the boys have a two s school holiday. I'm looking forward to lots of early morning writing followed by Mum/Sons time – we are planning a trip to Yorkshire Wildlife Park and to see Eddie the Eagle – the movie not the man! What are your plans?

I'm sick of...

Picture credit: unknownI'm sick of being embarrassed by the blatant prejudice and racism occurring all over the world. It's hard not to be ashamed right now. The racism and prejudice is unprecedented in my lifetime and even worse as it is being stirred up by the governments and senior politicians. I just wish people would wake up andrealise that our enemies are not the sick, the disabled, the refugees nor immigrants. Too many people in power have gone down the route of scapegoating sections of society – have we not learned anything from history? Clearly not! But then again, many people are ignorant to past struggles. The decades of fighting for peace and equal rights have been eroded away and we are returning to being totallyuncivilised and barbaric. The real enemy of the UK is its own Government and their cushy 'friends'. 
I am sick of hearing the argument 'migrants keep our wages low.' NO! NO! NO! Government policies of allowing employers to ride rough shot over workers' rights keeps wages low; flooding the market with unskilled, uneducated workers after they leave an education system that has failed them, causes workforce problems. Treating young people with utter contempt doesn't build a future thriving workforce either. When will people sit up and take note at what these people are doing to our fabulous country?
I'm sick of hearing the NHS is failing.  We all contribute to the NHS so it is about bloody time we received the service we pay for! We have fabulous employees just a totally useless management and a Health Secretary who is too arrogant to listen to professionally qualified people.
I'm sick of hearing that Labour caused the financial crisis because of over spending. No, if you listen to economic experts instead of the right wing press, you will know the banks, capitalism and deregulation caused the crisis and it will go on, until we have someone in power who is prepared to forcibly stop the cycle.
I'm sick of people moaning about quantitative easing for infrastructure investment. It was used to prop up the whole banking system – a private sector – yet its frowned upon for national infrastructure schemes. Why? Investments in road and rail will encourage private business investment and encourage growth not stifle it. 
For those of you, like me that were around when Thatcher privatised the railways and energy industry, you will remember we were promised greater, private investment on infrastructure and cheaper prices due to increased competition. How did it work for you? In reality, we have high prices and the infrastructure is supported by Government money or levies that we are being charged! A double whammy we just accept! Imagine if the UK Government owned the utilities and the vast profits were re-invested into the NHS rather than lining the pockets of the fat cat CEOs and our bankers. Please think about it. Alternatives are always available.
It is time Governments take control away from businesses and start acting in the best interests of the people they are there to serve. It is our responsibility, each and every one of us, to hold them to account and not just at election time. Who's with me? Let's all make a better future for our children and their children.
Rugby League
Regrettably, the Sheffield Eagles' Board of Directors decided to disband the Reserves team which means Wes and all his team mates are left outside the sport they have dedicated so much time to. It is hugely disappointing but that is sport I suppose.  It was heart wrenching for me as a Mum especially when you've always made clear hard work pays off. I have watched Wes train so hard from August last year without a break, through the whole of winter and travel three times a week after long school days from Leeds to Sheffield. He has stayed totally committed even when it seemed his body did not have one ounce of energy left. To see so many young lads unceremoniously dumped from a tough sport was heart breaking. However, I was so proud of Wes. He took the decision well and was more concerned over the welfare of the distraught coaching staff. 

Wes is taking a few weeks off to assess his options. He has not had a break since the age of six. Sport is a cruel world and as much as I love the sport, this is another example of rugby league's youth system being an absolute shambles. Let's hope we can get some more forward thing people, like Mark and Ged, in positions of power to help future generations and save our sport. I crashed out Last week, I think everything came to a head. My body packed up. I was totally floored by some sort of virus. It wiped me and for the whole week I felt a really bad mother. Thankfully, it was just in my head! The boys are fine, more than fine. They looked after me really well. Now I'm back on my feet and the world better watch out…
Sport Relief
Lucas is taking part in a cake baking competition, cake sale and sponsored run. The theme for the cake competition was promoting a healthy lifestyle – a perfect contradiction I thought. So, we made carrot cake.
It was a lot fun, spending time with Lucas, doing what he loves to do. It's funny though… the helps stops once there is a call to wash up!






...BACK TO THE WRITING...
Beyond the Past

Have you had the chance to read it yet? 

Would you like to review it for me? 

Read the first three chapters FREE on my website
Available from:
Pegasus Publishers
Amazon UK
Kindle
Amazon US
Or you can order from your local bookshop. The ISBN number is : 978-1-84386-789-0
Beyond the Lies
This is finished! The delay in submitting it due solely to being out of it last week. I know people are waiting for it and I promise you it is worth the wait.
Streetwise
While I was laid up last week, I took part in an online University of East Anglia Introduction to Screenwriting course. It's always good to know if you are on the right track especially if you are self-taught. I really enjoyed the course and picked up some very useful tips. As a result, I have some editing to do to Streetwise as I wish to add some additional scenes. This is this week's project providing there are no fires to put out!


The Nanny





This follows Streetwise and is my next major project. I started this as a screenplay but have decided to convert it to a book. There are too many interesting characters that deserve more development and details description.
If this last few weeks has taught us anything, it is how uncertain the future really is. Make the most of NOW, in the grand scheme of things that is all we have control over anyway.Enjoy your week and be brave.

Haters are going to hate…

And there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. You could spend your whole life analyzing why some people are so vindictive and nasty but you won't ever understand unless you can climb into their head. NOW THAT is a very scary thought. Very scary indeed.
Some people will always be negative about you and take great delight in trying to bring you down. I can only imagine they are so unhappy in their own lives, their only way to express their frustration is to attack your attempts to succeed in life. You can be honest without being nasty – a lesson many adults need to learn. It should give us all hope. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and that is just what it is - AN OPINION. Over analyzing the haters deficiencies will not get you where you want to be.
I have had to grow a thick skin and ignore silly adults, hell bent on de-railing my quest to start a new career.  I learned people would go to any length to be malicious, regardless of the consequences, such as changing a review from positive to negative because I wouldn't engage in a discussion on facebook. Then, getting a friend of theirs from facebook to write a similar review – someone who writes ten reviews a day! Now, call me a cynic but I doubt anyone can read and review ten books a day and work! If you're going to try and deceive people, at least be good at it. Anyway, I was warned there were these type of people out there and I have put it down to experience; an important lesson on how NOT to behave. 
The world is such a mean place at the moment and Britain is no longer great in my eyes because of a vindictive and divisive Government. I don't understand how Ministers claim we are the fifth biggest economy in the world when they are persecuting the disabled, we have foodbanks and more children live in poverty. One Tory MP claimed nearly £3,000 per week expenses last year – A WEEK, total £144,792 in a year, over and above the salary received. The very same MP campaigned to have £30 per week taken off disability payments. Totally and utterly repulsive!
All I would like to see, is a fair and equal society. We don't want anything for nothing. We are not like that. We will always work hard to succeed and bounce back from the obstacles put in our way. However, it is really hard as a parent, to keep children motivated and hopeful, and convince them that hard work provides more choices when those choices are being eroded by a government that should work in our favour, not against us. This Government want young people to save, yet forces them into debt before they even earn a penny! I despair when Ministers discuss mental health issues when they are one of the direct causes for worry and anxiety in our society. Children get the rough end of any callous cuts – tax credits, student grants, VAT, parents taking on more hours so not around to bring their children up, teacher shortages, pressure of teacher targets, lack of NHS care… I think you get the message. 
Too much pressure is put onto families and, even if you shield your children, it is hard for them not to feel the effects of a reduction in money coming into a house or lack of money in schools, etc. 
Our future generations don't seem to matter anymore. If they work hard to go to University, they leave with a huge debt. On leaving University, if they are lucky enough to get a job, they pay tax and national insurance that is supposed to provide a free NHS and a welfare safety net, should anything untoward occur. Only to find, decades later, the safety net has been withdrawn by the government who decided they will shift that money away and bail out banks, those who directly benefit from the debts you have accrued! Ever wondered why we are forced into having bank accounts and discouraged from using cash?  And we wonder why mental health is at crisis point! Jeez, it is time we all woke up and realised it is ALL a big con and we are feed lie after lie. Anyway, I'll stop there as my blood pressure rises.
CAN I HAVE A FANFARE PLEASE…
Beyond the Lies
The full extent of the conspiracy to frame former rugby player, Mark Smith, for rape over twenty years ago, starts to emerge. Even DCI Harry Fisher had no inclination his investigation would lead to the most elusive, yet prolific criminal mind of a generation.
Is finally finished!! Yes, the sequel to Beyond the Past has passed my severe criticism!! I rushed publishing my first novel – I was broke, on my own and needed to kick start my career. We all have to start somewhere, right? Anyway, I'm still broke but live in hope of a better life. In the meantime, I am lucky enough to be able to do what I love to do.
The synopsis is almost completed and this project will be off to the publishers this week.
Beyond the Past

Have you had the chance to read it yet? 

Would you like to review it for me? 

Read the first three chapters FREE on my website
Available from:
Pegasus Publishers
Amazon UK
Kindle
Amazon US
Or you can order from your local bookshop. The ISBN number is : 978-1-84386-789-0
Streetwise  Here I go again… I have re-edited it! I know, I'm my own worst critic but fresh eyes after time away is a brilliant way to improve your writing.
The Nanny This started as a book, then I changed it to a script. Guess what? It's a book again. Scripts are great but the beauty of writing a book is the description and characters building – the devil is always in the detail. You never know, I may adapt the book to a script as a future project.
But I love you This is the working title of my latest idea about domestic abuse, highlighting the horrors for all family members. As with all my books, there is a twist! More coming soon…

Happy Birthday my superstar!!
My baby boy is officially a man this weekend, although in my mind he has been an adult for many, many years but he will ALWAYS be my baby. I am so proud of the man he has turned out to be and the world is a much better place with such a kind, determined, generous and thoughtful soul as his. At his request, we are having a low key celebration. I feel very honoured and privileged to be his Mum and his number one fan of course.





We've shared so many fantastic memories and laughs and many more to come. We have incredibly special relationship that I really cherish and never take for granted.






 
Well, it's time to kick this celebratory weekend off. Have a great weekend and I hope next week brings you all that you deserve.

 

Time you realised… you’re far from perfect

DON'T BE A LIAR...BE HONEST


Isn’t it funny how the only people who want you to let an injustice go are the people who stand to lose the most from the truth. Sadly, I’ve come to the conclusion they are born liars with very little or no integrity. Rather than admit they are like us – mistakes are NORMAL – they would rather spin a web of lies and catch innocent people up in it. The trouble is once you start down that road, it is hard to then do the decent thing and admit you lied. I can’t abide calculated liars.  Let’s face it, none of us are perfect, that’s what make the human race so interesting. We ALL make mistakes. Lying is a coward’s way out. I have no respect or time for any adult that cannot admit when they are wrong. Truth and integrity is everything. Ultimately, the truth will prevail and then more lies will have to follow to dig yourself out of the almighty hole you have slumped into. The thing is…I’m made of really strong stuff and I won’t let any self-centred narcissist get away with lies and why should I? Why should any of us?  #JFT96
Apologies for going AWOL this last couple of weeks but I’m just emerging from the worst ever attack of Meniere’s. Even after ten years, I was not prepared for it to take a further turn like it has recently. Now, I’m getting back to my normal! 
Massive congratulations to my fellow Liverpool FC fans. It is amazing what you can achieve when you stand together and don’t just accept what corporate bullies want to enforce on you. Power to the people!! We shouldn’t have to accept what is unfair and unjust. Obviously, this UK Government and corporate organisations believe they can get away with anything. Jeremy Hunt proved that with his pathetic handling of the Junior Doctors farce. You can’t impose new contracts on people and he knows that. I am 100% behind anyone that wishes to stand up to bullies and 100% behind anyone that wishes to fight for their rights and principles.We can make a difference if we work together.
Sport
We are back in the thick of it. Sheffield Eagle’s Reserves season kicks off on Mother’s Day and I can’t think of a better way to spend my day than supporting my baby boy, who will be by then a fully-fledged adult by the time the season starts. How old does that make me feel? Very, very old. How proud am I? Super proud. He has turned into quite a formidable adult who will not follow the crowd and just accept what he is being told. He has a voice and is not afraid to stand alone if it is the right thing to do. 
Lucas has struggled for the last six months, as he has for the last nine years, with winter colds, viruses and anything that is going around at school. Come March, he’ll suddenly change and will go through summer with next to nothing. ROLL ON MARCH. In spite of this he plays football and this year will be his first full year at cricket. I’m looking forward to a chilled afternoon at cricket matches.

On Friday, Wes and I went to the Sheffield Eagles first home game at the training ground at Sheffield Hallam University. Congratulations to the staff at the venue and the club. It was a great night. The atmosphere was brilliant and a triumph. I love that my son wants me there. That means everything.
Writing Beyond the Past

Have you had the chance to read it yet? 

Would you like to review it for me? 

Read the first three chapters FREE on my website



Available from:
Pegasus Publishers
Amazon UK
Kindle
Amazon US
Or you can order from your local bookshop. The ISBN number is : 978-1-84386-789-0
The biggest project by far has been the sequel, Beyond the Lies. I haven’t butchered it, I’ve murdered it and re-written it. I learned from my first book, to trust my gut instinct and I have this time. I don’t mind admitting, I’m loving the new version and I’m almost finished!! You will hear my CHEER – worldwide - when I put those fabulous words on the manuscript – yes you got it, THE END.
In between vertigo attacks I have managed to formulate some new story ideas and work on The Nanny. It’s tough but I wouldn’t change it for the world – well maybe for some cash coming in! BUT I’m not greedy.
I’m also working on a blog about socialism. I don’t understand why it is such a dirty word. Watch out for my take on it… Last week really did take the wind from my sails and knock my confidence. It takes time to build back up again from each attack. Please bear with me…
Please be kind to yourself - nobody is perfect and once you realise the mistakes you make are part of living life, you will have a greater inner peace and move forward with so much more positivity. I learned this the hard way...trust me.
Have a fabulous week 

Goodbye January 2016…

Well, our January has been super productive and in many ways a positive start to 2016. Lucas has been amazing, working so hard at school and really putting the effort in with his football and cricket training. Wes has been super stressed, mainly caused by adults stressing him out over his A Levels. I hate that – I get that they want them to do well BUT please, putting them under stress for your data is no way to get them to do well. It’s important they are focused yet relaxed. The brain does not work well when it is stressed – trust me, I know! Rugby pre-season training has been tough but he thrives in tough situations and that makes me super proud. Keep it up boys x
The month has been marred by two things for me:

Sadly, the number of people who we have lost that had such an influential part in my life – from David Bowie and his breaking down of boundaries; Alan Rickman for his undeniable talent and many others including today, Terry Wogan. It does make you sit up and take note of your own mortality. It has even made me more determined to keep going and leave my individual mark on the work, just as these icons of my childhood did.  The blatant racism and hatred that is engulfing the world. It is appalling politicians are stirring up divisions for their own sick agenda. We are all human beings!! Well, all us decent folk, who believe we are all equal regardless of race, religion, gender, ability. Labels are specifically designed to cause oppression. ‪#‎dropthelabels

PhD
Well, I did it. The application for and PhD proposal has been submitted. Why shouldn’t I try and fulfil this? Why? I’m sick of doubting myself or rather, sick of people putting doubts in my mind. The best way to silence your critics is SUCCESS. Whilst looking for my degree certificate, I found this - my outstanding achievement award.
The only obstacle is FINANCE – the story of my chuffing life! However, I am very resourceful and where there is a will, there is a way!


Writing
I’ve regained my focus and composure, instead of flitting from half-finished projects. Before Christmas, I was unwell and lost. Now, I have bounced back and could not be any more organised if I tried. I aim to complete six projects this year – we’ll measure the success at the end of the year.
Beyond the Past

Have you had the chance to read it yet? Would you like to review it for me?
Read the first three chapters FREE on my website
Available from:
Pegasus Publishers
Amazon UK
Kindle
Amazon US
Or you can order from your local bookshop. The ISBN number is : 978-1-84386-789-0

New Ideas
It is so frustrating… to get half way through a job, wake up in the middle of the night or be on a school run when a new idea hits you! I pray my Meniere’s sodden brain will hold the thought until I can write it down. I have, in the past, sat for a whole hour in a lay-by at the side of the road and written my new idea on the back of tesco receipts – honestly I have! That is how Streetwise started.
Like today – a new idea has been formulating all day from an article I read this morning. I’ve broken off from the ironing and from writing this blog, to scribble notes down. I literally have over thirty outline ideas and I really wish I had enough time to sit and develop them all NOW. I know I have to be patient but every new idea is super exciting. Patience is not one of my virtues and contrary to popular belief I do have a few.
Editing
Beyond the Lies. What can I say? It’s a blooming good job only one person, other than me of course, has read the original manuscript because it has been well and truly butchered. When I wrote Beyond the Past, I admit I was totally naïve and just wrote it, from the heart, no holds barred. The more I learn my new craft, I realise I made loads of mistakes and take little comfort in the fact that very famous authors write they made the same mistakes too. 
This new novel is better structured and actually demonstrates how much I have learnt over the past year.
My first novel was not perfect but you have to start somewhere. If you don’t try, how do you know if you can hack it? I’m not going to kick myself over the mistakes I made – there’s plenty of other people who will do it anyway! 
I keep editing, keep writing and more importantly, keep learning.
Right, I’m off to put the homemade lasagna in the oven. Make this week, the week you decide to follow your dreams.
Love you all.

When you’re drowning…swim harder and faster

In October, I had a complete meltdown. I was struggling with Meniere’s, my confidence was at an all-time low and I was struggling to keep my head above water. I was DROWNING. I couldn’t get myself out of the downward spiral. I was annoyed I felt that way which only made it much worse. However, what made it even worse was the incessant abuse and criticisms, based on lies and assumptions, made by people who claimed they knew me that then passed onto people who didn’t know me. Suddenly, complete strangers became critics of my life. All from lies and assumptions made from people who had never taken the time to really get to know me. It was totally ridiculous and should have been meaningless – it is now, but when you’re at rock bottom it is really hard to ignore. It really knocked my self-esteem to the point that I didn’t want to leave the house. 
Until, I exploded!! Oh, I definitely topped the Richter scale!! That day I realised keeping a dignified silence bred some of the assumptions and lies. That day, I decided to fight back – TO SWIM! Oh boy I am so glad I did.
I took professional advice, they helped me to regain some perspective. Irealised certain people will ALWAYS gossip, certain people will ALWAYS criticize you, certain people will ALWAYS hate what you do because it’s you doing it., Really, though, do they matter? I was letting these people influence my life by letting their spiteful, malicious behaviour control me and stopping my recovery and me living my life my way. I don’t EVEN know some of them!! They won’t be celebrating my successes with me. My professional help made me realise people hiding behind aliases on social media, with less than fifty followers, were nothing but trolls and meaningless in the grand scheme of my life and what I am trying to achieve for my family. Sometimes you need to take a step back and gain perspective. That is what I did and I am so thankful for the help I received. My focus is on my boys, my work and building a better future for my gorgeous little family.
I’ve made it crystal clear where I stand with the people that matter, they know who they are. The rest of the ‘no marks’ can continue with their silly games. I DON’T CARE. I have never felt inner peace like I have now. I have clarity too.  Since the turn of the year, yes in just twenty-four days, I have achieved so much. All the things that felt overwhelming have been dealt with and the Meniere’s is under control at present – hope I haven’t just jinxed it!!  I have cleared the back log of jobs and moved new projects forward – in 24 DAYS! 
So thank you to those who sniped, bitched and trolled me. You managed to knock me down and almost drown me. BUT – I SWAM! SWAM! SWAM! Our life is so much stronger and happier. We are more determined, more focused and more content than we have ever been.

Beyond the Past

Have you had the chance to read it yet? Would you like to review it for me?

Read the first three chapters FREE on my website
Available from:
Pegasus Publishers
Amazon UK
Kindle
Amazon US
Or you can order from your local bookshop. The ISBN number is : 978-1-84386-789-0


Beyond the Lies
The edit is so going so well. I am thrilled with the results so far and not far from moving to the next, dreaded edit of GRAMMAR and STRUCTURE! Oh, the joys! Nah I love it really.



Streetwise
I have entered this into the RedPlanet TV screenwriting competition. You have to be in it to win it. Fingers crossed.





UK Blog Awards
This week has been such a productive week. On Monday, the voting for this year’s UK Blog Awards opened. I am thrilled to be short listed in two categories for the second year running, up against some tough opposition.Lifestyle  & Arts and Culture Categories  
Voting is open until 9pm 25th January 2016. You can both on both categories once a day every day until the closing date.If you can spare a couple of minutes and vote.
Your support, as always is very much appreciated.



PhD

Well, I did it. I finally finished the proposal and submitted it. It was a confidence boost to get a response from one of the UK’s leading experts in this field saying the proposal was ‘concise and detailed…a strong application’.
2016 I will return to study. This is a very personal goal of mine and I desperately want to achieve a PhD…for me.
My life is not perfect BUT it is pretty close, especially now it is calm and peaceful. The three of us are so busy building our dreams, it is nice to spend our spare time as quality family time. We love being at home, playing board games and enjoying each other’s company.
Do me a favour, will you? Life is too short to let other narrow minded people to bring you down. Rant, rave by all means but still follow your dreams. Success is a wonderful way to simply say… “I told you so!”
Have a fabulous week and go get ‘em…your dreams I mean