Pam Charles's Blog, page 7

Happy Yorkshire Day

It's Yorkshire Day today. I am very proud to be a Yorkshire lass. It is an amazing place to live and I am thankful of my heritage. It also makes a breath taking backdrop for novels.
I had a breakthrough this week. I really believe the last ten years have been about letting go of the rotten; accepting life's lot and Meniere's and re-focusing my life and energy on new dreams and aspirations. Life is for living and I intend to make every day count. After shaking off everything and everyone who has brought negativity into my life, I did go through a period of 'how will I cope' alone. Sometimes clinging on to things means you suffer more than living alone. In spite of my ears being terrible this week, I have focused on setting new goals. We are surviving, just the three of us and in fact, we love the peace and lots and lots of laughter.
Over the coming months, we will be moving house, Lucas will start his last year at Primary School and Wes starts at University. I have lots of projects on the go with some new exciting plans for our future. To think what we have been through over recent years, we have done pretty well, not only to stay sane but actually to stay positive and know better things are just around the corner.
Unfortunately, I could not secure funding for my PhD in time to start it this September BUT I have accepted an unconditional offer to study a Masters in Information Technology this year. On top of that, a part time job has appeared that is right up my street and will tie in perfectly with my new goals. If I'm successful, it will be the first step towards our better life and one positive step to my ultimate goal in life. 
I will continue to write but, quite simply, it is not paying the bills yet. None of my life has gone to plan but so far, thankfully, the many changes and adaptations have led onto better and bigger things. For that I am truly grateful. If the part time job comes off, it will work harmoniously with the degree and my precious little family. It will also be a major step in my Meniere's recovery, enabling me to be out and about in the 'real' world again. If it doesn’t come off, I still have my degree, my writing and my gorgeous family. I'm sure you can see why I feel so happy at the moment. I have choices, hope and we are in a much stronger position than we think or give ourselves credit for.
This is the first time in the last decade, I feel in control of life and of Meniere's. It has been a very slow, agonising process but I can cope with the symptoms, the pain and the acceptance of my pace of life. More importantly, I can define my future by working around Meniere's and stop it from hindering my progress. This is mainly because I have taken control of what and who can influence my life and ultimately my stress levels.
Let's face it – sometimes, life is a blooming struggle and a right pain in the a***. It can also be… magical, exciting and what you make of it. I choose to dream big and back it up with hard work and persistence. This is my life and MY DREAMS. The next chapter is going to be even more amazing than the last. 
Most of all, I'm going to stop being so hard on myself and allow myself to enjoy the magical moments we are creating. My PhD will still go ahead – so if you know of anyone who would like to sponsor a hardworking Mum, showing her boys hard work pays off, please direct them my way. I will look after them.
 #KEEPCORBYN 

On Saturday, I was very brave (fellow Meniere's sufferers will know what I mean). I went out alone. I joined the thousands of people who congregated at the Royal Armouries to hear Jeremy Corbyn speak. I helped out on one of the Momentum stalls and it was great fun. I got the pleasure of speaking to lots of people, young and old. People had travelled miles and miles for the event and I spoke with people who had voted Tory, Lib Dem and for the Greens at the last General Election. I had goosebumps listening to how enthusiastic people were at the prospect of what they saw, as new ideas and policies. It was really heartwarming to see the reception Jeremy received but even more heartwarming to see Jeremy Corbyn take the time to stop and speak with the two policemen on duty. 



Whatever the media, establishment and rebel MPs day, if you can, get to one of his events and listen to his speech. I defy anyone to find a more genuine, honest and determined man. 

Don't believe for one moment these events are full of militants and trouble causers. These events are attended by genuine people who are fed up of working hard and not getting anywhere. I ask you to give him a chance. 


Have a great week - it's the first day of a new month - a perfect time for you to set your new goals. Have fun
Much love
 

Words have consequences…

The world has a habit of making you feel an abject failure if you don’t have a marriage, mortgage, car and 2.4 children. The stereotypes are like knives, drawn and shoved deep into our consciences from the very early stages of our lives. This would be okay of course if everything in your life was in your control – a bit like Stepford wives. In reality you have little control in many areas of your own life. 

This week has been incredibly tough for me. I've gone through a Meniere's loathing week, angry at having no 'normal' job with a regular income. Twenty years I worked hard, paid my taxes and now get no assistance for the disease I did not want or ask for. I feel conned and very frustrated. I work so hard to get us out of this Meniere's induced rut. It's not for the want of effort, I can assure you. I push myself to the limit and beyond, yet can only hope my hard work will bring us much needed success sooner rather than later. I cling onto hope as, I suspect, many millions of us do.

The rhetoric induced hatred across the world has not helped my positive state of mind either. I have written about this before but I am going to continue to bang on about it until we start to make some very serious changes. We, as a human race, have to stop using labels and stop categorising people. It's a horrible human psyche and we can only blame ourselves for its creation. Just think for a moment…take half a day of yours from last week and think how many times you used labels to describe individual human beings – 'that boy', 'that woman', 'that disabled man', 'that OAP'. Then add the extra descriptions you may use and even worse…think of the descriptions you would not use but others would use freely. Can you actually, clearly and categorically say you have never, ever used a label that would cause offence to the person you are describing? How many use labels to purposely cause offence? Or, to purposely cause harm?
Credit: unknown
Why don't we just cut it out? Cut out the language – for example stop the description 'Muslim man' as we wouldn't say 'Christian man', would we? I am very aware of the language I use and sometimes I may offend someone without the intent. Unfortunately, there are people out there that do want to cause offence.  MPs and people in the public eye really need to think before they speak. Their language has consequences but all too often they offer soundbites or in some cases purposely use defamatory, racist, homophobic and derogatory language that is deeply offensive and divisive. The division becomes a green light for some to inflict harm and misery on fellow human beings. 
WE HAVE TO STOP THE CYCLE OF HATE. Public officials have let the vile genie out of the bottle and we, the decent human beings are left to find a way of eradicating it. It starts with the education of our children, an education that must include tolerance and humanity. We must speak out about prejudices and we must urge our public officials to stop stirring the hornet's nest.
I do find it hard to forgive Cameron, Johnson, Farage,Trump and the media outlets for their part in this grotesque change in language but I have to forgive them otherwise the hatred will escalate. They are incredibly insensitive and naïve to think they have played no part in the rise in hate crimes. They need to accept and acknowledge their words have had far reaching consequences. Over the last six years we have seen many sections of our communities demonised by these people. It is hard to accept I worry about my son being attacked because of the colour of his skin – IN 2016!! 
Hatred will not bring about any change. We should all take a step back and think about our actions, our words and our role in changing the world. I am pleading to every single human being – be kind, thoughtful and think before you speak. Open your hearts, instead of your mouth. Look past the labels society forces upon us. Your words and actions will have consequences.
Just as hatred breeds violence and insecurity, love and kindness can bring peace and harmony – the key is whether we have the will to make that change. We need to let this Government and world leaders know division and demonisation of fellow human beings is unacceptable and we will no longer tolerate it. 
It is up to us decent human beings to shine the light of hope on this dark world.
I am going to continue to work hard and fight for a better world for my children and every other human being and I hope, you are with me too.
Have a fabulous week and please, be kind.

The world is well…BROKEN

We desperately need world peace!!!
I remember how terrified we were of the IRA when we were growing up yet its seems less frightening now than the attacks being orchestrated today. To go out on a bank holiday and be attacked whilst enjoying your family time is beyond comprehension. I cherish our family time and it fills me with sickness and dread to think an attack on our lives can happen at any time or anywhere. My heart goes out to all those affected by the atrocities all over the world and the first responders who deal with the immediate aftermath. Surely now is the time for peace.
Let's be totally frank - the World politicians are not listening. Where have we heard that before? It is not cowering to terrorism if you review your foreign policy in order to keep your citizens safe. I worry about the mentality of some of the people in power and their apparent lack of morality and humanity. I also worry about the rise in far right groups and the adopted acceptability of racial abuse we are seeing globally. It's been a really tough week for me but do you know what? My boys and I are safe and healthy. In a world of madness, terror and selfish indulgence, I am thankful of what and who I have around me. Life could always be better but at least we have life. My determination to help fix our broken world is the greatest it has ever been.
Broken Democracy
When did the Labour Party become a party that:
does not respect and uphold democracy?has MPs that are more than happy to write vile abuse about the elected leader on social mediaallegedly scours through social media to see if key words are used so they can ban membersimposes a blanket ban on meetings – ON MEETINGS! Can you imagine if the Tories cancelled democracy…oh wait…we have an unelected PM and ongoing investigations into electoral fraud.deserts the most vulnerable in society to participate in a farce of coup rather than holding the Tories to account.deserts the whole country post EU referendum to take part in self-indulgent bullying.has to have a meeting to discuss whether a democratically elected leader should be on the ballot paper.and THE BIGGEST SIN OF ALL…in my opinion –taking money for membership under false pretences; claiming if you part with your hard earned cash, you can vote in the leadership election. THEN, in what appears to be a breach of contract, exclude those new members or advising them 'it's okay, if you want to vote you can cough up an extra £25.' This is supposed to be a socialist party upholding the right to vote, to equality and fairness. £25 is a weekly shop for some families! They should not be excluded from democracy on the basis of cost. I have my vote but it doesn't mean I approve of the action and would leave my fellow supporters high and dry.
What gets me the most is – we are ALL supposed to be on the same side. I look at Jeremy Corbyn and wonder where he is getting his strength from. I'm exhausted and a wreck. I can understand people throwing in the towel under such injustice but that's not me. This is a matter of principle. It is not about the party or the leader – it is much more important. It is about fighting for our voices to be heard and respected. You would have thought it was a given, bearing in mind it is our votes that puts the MPs into the Westminster bubble. This whole sordid affair has confirmed many things to me but the most striking of all is, the lack of respect MPs have for voters and party members. These MPs don't seem to realise that every activist and Labour party member is also a voter and the voice of the party at grass root level. They talk to friends, family and residents. People are sick of working hard and getting nowhere. 
The behaviour of some MPs on social media is beyond contempt. Their blatant hatred for the leader of the party is overwhelmingly obvious to the point that you see why any attempts to talk were futile. If they were an employee, they would be facing grounds of dismissal for gross misconduct. 
It is time we were listened to and our MPs returned to serving their constituents not business or themselves. I'm not a #TrotsRabbleDOG – I'm just a single Mum, bringing her boys up to understand the importance of looking after the vulnerable working hard to achieve our success. I work incredibly hard but life is a struggle. I am not a rebel rouser (well it depends how this is defined I suppose) – I just want equality, honesty, decency, fairness and democracy. It is not too much to ask for. 
Whatever your views are, please bear in mind that rights have been fought for over centuries. There are always people who will try and suppress the struggle by any means necessary. All I ask is you do not fall for the vile tactics – read up and make a judgement based on the facts. You may be surprised what you learn about people, you once admired, in the process.
#Prayfor…all of us
Before the Iraq War in 2003, probably late 1990s, I read an article by a University lecturer about the effects in the middle east should Saddam Hussein be eliminated. It was a stark article that has stuck with me. It warned of the factions within the country and how, without proper control, these factions would rise up against each other and they would rise against who they saw as their aggressors, the Western countries – USA, UK, Europe, etc. 
It went on to say Hussein was a ruthless Dictator but if you took him out, the full extent of the damage could be catastrophic. I opposed the Iraq War based on this information and the fact that I don't believe any country has the right to dictate who the leader of another country should be. No one asked the Iraqi people what they wanted or needed. We bulldozed in, caused catastrophic loss of life then didn't have a plan of how to handle what followed. 
The response to terror attacks by Governments and Politicians – let's bomb Syria even more. HAVE WE NOT LEARNT ANYTHING? It is time the UN did its job and started to look at ways to bring about peace. I'm a realist, I know it won’t be easy – an understatement but what is the alternative? More bombings, more wars and more terrorist attacks on innocent people trying to make ends meet and live their lives. 
Weapons of Mass Destruction – Trident
We invaded Iraq as the Government believed Hussein had Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMDs). Let's take a step back for a moment. Who are we to decide who can have and can't have deterrent systems – although I do dispute Trident is a deterrent system. I have had this debate many times with people and pose the following points:
Why are we spending billions on a deterrent system that will not and does not protect us from the risks we face today, for example terrorism or cyber-attacks? We don't spend billions on cures for diseases on the off chance there may be a pandemic in the future.Who says we have leaders responsible enough not to trigger these WMDs – Donald Trump & Boris Johnson spring to mind!Triggering Trident is fatal! They are not a deterrent. Who says we can have WMD and dictate to the rest of the world they can't? The arrogance is beyond comprehension. We should be leaders in eradicating WMD.I have yet to find anyone who can convince me spending billions on something we will never use makes sense when we have children in poverty, a NHS on its knees and disabled people having £30 per week taken from them. 


Don't blame fellow human beings
Don't blame immigrants, refugees and migrant workers. They are not the ones who have brought about wars, changed laws and withdrawn funds from local communities. Wars have to be paid for and that is where our hard earned tax is going. Don't let them fool you anymore. The shortages of school places, the waiting lists for housing, the NHS and the lack of public services is not about a population boost – it's about a political ideology siphoning money from communities into corporate funding of banks, wars and MPs' expenses!
We need a change in the world order but the powers don't want that. They don't want us to be educated, organised and determined to make a better world. It does not suit their agenda. We can change the balance of power through democracy and using our vote wisely. That is why they lie, provide misinformation and when all that fails, they want to eradicate democracy.
We don't need violence, abuse and tempers flaring. We need calm, level headed negotiation and debate. We need people in power who are prepared to listen to the views and will of the people. We need people in power who will take on the biased media, the corporations, the bankers and the war mongering politicians. 
Whatever your nationality, race, gender or religious belief – we need to all stand together and support leaders, like Jeremy Corbyn and change the world order. We humans are amazing when we have the will to stand together and make change.
As I write this, the words of John Lennon's Imagine ring in my head. I may be a dreamer, I am definitely not the only and if you join us, we can all be ONE. 
Much love 

LIES...LIES...and more LIES

This is going to be a long post…I need to get this off my chest. Buckle up…enjoy the ride…or not!

Anybody remember Eddie Murphy and the film Trading Places? If you do, you will remember the Duke Brothers gambling for $1. Well after the events following the EU referendum, David Cameron and Boris Johnson are the UK equivalent of the Dukes. Every day more lies are uncovered and I feel they have gambled with taxpayer's money, jobs, pensions and our children's futures. For what? £1 or a Euro? Either way, both have inflicted immeasurable damage on this country then walked away from it! They have caused a vacuum, a division so deep, increased hate crime by unprecedented levels then just walked away smiling, with their offshore accounts intact. It is, they are, a total disgrace.

People who voted leave have called me a pessimist, I'm unpatriotic and a traitor to my country. Let me set this straight – I have faith in the majority of people – human beings across the world BUT I have no faith in politicians who have the task of negotiating new deals with the EU and other countries around the world. We have already been demoted to the 6thlargest economy and I am convinced our politicians have damaged our diplomatic and negotiating powers across the globe.

Imagine, you own a business and advise your best supplier, "Sorry but I've decided to look for a new supplier because, quite frankly you are a corrupt, money grabbing, bureaucratic lot and I no longer trust you but until I negotiate a new deal can you let me have my current terms." Not only that, we'll make them wait as long as we can because it suits us, regardless of how it affects their business. What do you think that supplier's response is going to be?  I know what my response would be – unprintable I'm afraid.

One piece of advice I was given at school was to always question the motive and source of any information you receive, before you act on it. I have never trusted the media – EVER and Hillsborough, Orgreave and other life events have proven I was right not to. Everybody gets sucked in by stories though. We are only human after all. However, if a doctor or a solicitor gives you advice, you accept it as they are professionals and have greater knowledge than you. If a teacher imparts knowledge to a student, the student accepts the information as accurate based upon the stature of the teacher. So, when a Member of Parliament speaks, imparts information we should be able to accept it will be accurate, right? Regrettably, not anymore. 

The EU referendum uncovered some very unpleasant, hidden traits within my country that makes me so ashamed and embarrassed. These are totally against the principles I have instilled in my boys.

Politicians on both sides vehemently lied to get their own way, making it acceptable to lie!Politicians on both sides vehemently pressed the issue of immigration, giving the green light to a group of people to be racist and incite racial hatred. The politicians HAVE incited racial hatred and that is a criminal offence in the UK but I bet, they won’t be prosecuted. The media definitely played their part too.The aftershocks have sent 172 MPs on a witch hunt, which was pre-meditated and reported in the Telegraph 2 weeks prior to the referendum blaming Jeremy Corbyn for the Brexit result. I'll come back to that. Delaying Article 50 demonstrates there is no plan for Brexit. The Government could have, and should have, planned for every eventual outcome. It is poor management not to have the plan in place. Any business will tell you – before you make a major change, you carry out a risk assessment. It is common sense to see the impact of any change.  By delaying article 50 they are showing the world we are incompetent. In addition, while they dither, they are putting businesses and jobs at risk. My theory, for what it is worth, is they know invoking this article will send the markets into freefall. Not only that – businesses will have to make the decision of whether they stay within the EU and move their operations out of the UK. When this happens, the Bank of England may have to use QE to prop the markets up – where is this money going to come from? If that happens I can't see there being many savings from leaving the EU. Immigration is NOT the culprit of a shortage of housing, low wages and lack of public services. GOVERNMENT CUTS & AUSTERITY ARE. Ask yourself this – how come money is suddenly available to bail businesses out because of Brexit? They tell us they can't just print money and we have to bear cuts yet suddenly they can. It ALL LIES.
The only time Cameron actually fulfils on a manifesto promise and he creates CHAOS.
Jeremy Corbyn

As I said earlier, the attempted coup by 172 MPs was orchestrated prior to the EU referendum. I was very vocal in the EU Referendum making it very clear that I would not be supportive of Jeremy Corbyn standing on a platform with Tory leaders or indeed, Tony Blair. I didn't stand with either campaign due to the lies and racism. In fact, you'll see from earlier posts, my deep concern of how this referendum was being played out.
I agreed with Jeremy's policy not through blind faith but through common sense and hours of research. I do not like the EU but I don’t like our Government either. We need to change the balance of power from Governments being heavily influenced by business to Governments that hold businesses to account and represent the people who elect them.

No system of Government is perfect – none. However, from speaking to people after the referendum, it has become clear that some voted to leave to get rid of Cameron and/or because they were sick of people in suits dictating where money was spent and they never saw the benefit of that money, especially in Labour heartlands. These areas have seen the most savage of cuts.

JUST REMEMBER – Jeremy NEVER lied.

Labour lost the general elections in 2010 and 2015 before Jeremy became leader. Voters cried out for an alternative, the doorstep message was very clear 'you are all the same'; 'they don't listen to us'; 'they'll do what's right for them.'  The 172 MPs have absolutely displayed these traits this week – the traits so emphatically rejected by voters. Their total disregard for democracy and the horrific bullying they have displayed is everything I despise. Lies, Bullying, intimidation and lack of respect for democracy – FROM THE MEMBERS OF PARLIAMENT ELECTED TO UPHOLD THE OPPOSITE OF THESE!!

That is why I am angry about it all. I love the Labour Party – I have brought my boys up on their core values. I have been a wreck this week, watching these people tear apart decent, honest human beings. I HATE LIES, I HATE BULLYING AND I HATE DISHONESTY. None of which you can accuse Jeremy Corbyn of. The establishment is rocked by people being aware of the lies, of questioning those lies and holding our politicians to account. The lies the media have been involved in have been off the scale – see my twitter and facebook accounts for some of them.

This is not about one man. This is an attack on democracy. It is a nasty, vindictive case of corporate bullying, the worst case I have ever witnessed. There is a clear procedure for a new leadership challenge but they won't pursue it because democracy is only important to them if it achieves the results they want! I know when I was at school, that was dictatorship not democracy.
Jeremy is a decent, honest man – one of the few politicians who has consistently shown he is in Parliament to make the world a better place for everyone – and definitely not just the 1%!! I am urging anyone who is against bullying, who wants to bring honesty back into our politics and who wants real life chances for their children, to join the Labour Party. Over the last week, over 60,000 have joined. PLEASE I want a better world for all children in the UK.

Above all of this, personally, it has been a desperate week, having found out there is no funding for my PhD and we have to vacate the property we have lived in for 12 years. It's been an incredibly stressful, Meniere's ridden week but I'm still standing – just. I still have hope in my heart. At least it all happened in the same week!
Please, to all my fellow EU citizens - we are not all self-serving, racists -  in fact, very few exist. I am sorry these people have crawled out of the woodwork and I can assure you they do not speak for me and my family.


In this next week, the media and these MPs will continue to spout lies about Jeremy Corbyn because the Chilcot report is due to be published. This is the report that will provide answers over the Iraq war. I hope the families of those who lost their lives serving, get the answers they are looking for but also, I do hope it highlights why it is important to have a pacifist at the helm not self- serving war hungry hypocrites.
Much love and peace

A PLEA…. From a MUM

I know I state the obvious but it has been a terrible, terrible week. Innocent people have been murdered going about, getting on with their own lives. The truth is – I am heartbroken. Heartbroken for the victims and their families and friends whose lives are changed forever.  I am totally gutted the UK and USA have become countries where division and hatred have flourished to a point extremists can actively promote and exact their hatred on innocent victims. 
Human nature means some people, with certain characteristics, will always take things to the extreme – we are fooling ourselves if we think otherwise. However, decent human beings know the boundaries and don’t cross those boundaries – knowing they violate common decency and, in some cases, the law. 

I have taught my boys to be honest, tolerant and to fight for social justice and equality. It's been tough because I have swum against the tide of feeling, even within my own circle of friends and family. I feel angry and deeply hurt that the very people elected to represent these same values are undermining me and the majority of decent human beings. I also feel a sense of responsibility for allowing this hatred to happen! I didn't vote for the ones who seek to divide us but maybe my voice has not been loud enough to drown out the hatred and vile intolerance. Maybe I have not done enough to stop this from happening. Yes – I have debated until hoarse, attended demonstrations, meetings and campaigns BUT somehow I feel I have not done enough to make this world a safer place for my children and other children across the globe. 

Extremism MUST be met with love, kindness and reasoned debate. Silence does not work but neither does resorting to their kind of name calling. All us decent human beings have to now SHOUT louder and unite to ensure we achieve peace and stability. A world where our children can go out, have fun, explore and return home safely, fulfilled, excited from experiencing life. I want a world free from extremism and war. 
Some will read this and scoff – we can't achieve it! WE CAN and WE MUST!
I have become increasingly ashamed to be British. We, as a country, are at a crossroads – please, please let's choose the right path.
My tribute to a wonderful, inoffensive, tolerant and courageous Jo Cox will be to continue her fight to bring about a better world, not just for me or the boys but for all of humanity.

A TOAST...to the FUTURE

It's coming up to the fifth anniversary of the day I began to think about writing my first novel, Beyond the Past. On paper, it seems like an incredibly long amount of time. In reality, it feels like only yesterday. So much has happened during this time. I'm not going to lie, it has been a very tumultuous period – more downs than ups, if I'm honest. Has it been worth it?  Too right it has!
When I started that first novel, I was not just a complete novice at fiction writing but totally naïve about how people would react to my change in career and how cut throat the book world actually is. I cannot believe how many obstacles I have had to kick and crush to get where I am today. I'm not where I anticipated I would be but I am in a much better place than the day I started. I have an awful lot to be thankful for.
I never thought this blog would ever be read let alone be as popular as it has been. I started it to log our new life for our future family generations. It is hard to remember all the events, good and bad but I want my children and grandchildren to be able to look back and know that you can overcome adversity and follow your dreams. I don't expect everyone to understand that but it matters to me.
 Who'd have thought, five years ago I would have a successful blog, a published book, two pieces out in the marketplace, another work in progress and I would be delivering talks in schools. Little old me! 

I have learned so much about the industry, my craft, the marketing, the dishonesty, the exploitation of writers and artists and about myself. I am not the person I was five years ago AND that is a good thing…why? Because it proves DEVELOPMENT. I am a great believer in continuing to learn and better myself. No new career or success is achieved overnight. It takes time, dedication, self-belief (in between the self-doubt) and a whole lot of hard work to make a success of anything in life. I have learned to be flexible, resourceful, patient and resilient. More importantly, I have learned to trust my gut instinct and not the noise other people want to make. MY LIFE, MY RULES. 
A first draft is great satisfaction BUT it is only the beginning and a very rough plan of the final product. I rushed publishing Beyond the Past due to personal circumstances but now I have learned to take my time; to craft work that I am happy with – at least 98%; I'll never be happy 100%...ever.
Standing by your own beliefs and actions does attract some undesirable attention but it shows great strength to stand alone in a world that is determined to box you into a category or label. I suppose I would like my ultimate legacy to be 'I defied all labels, low expectations and ridicule. I got there…eventually.'
Whilst I wait for the market to respond to my current work, I have lots of planning to do and lots of new ideas formulating – this is what happens when you say 'no more drama' – not in the writing sense! What will be, will be. My children are healthy and happy and we ALL have great things to look forward to.


The Nanny

150 pages into the script and I've torn it up…well not literally but I've started again, which is a common occurrence for me. I LOVE IT EVEN MORE NOW – the characters are stronger, the story line bolder and the backdrop is perfect. It was just, well, in the wrong order. I've recently spent time watching television dramas, particularly how they are put together; the moves from scene to scene; the sequences, etc. I'm super excited where this story goes. The Troubles in Ireland have always fascinated me. As I have always said, 'one man's terrorist, is another man's freedom fighter.' Before anyone is offended, I am not condoning any forms of violence whatsoever. I do want to make sure I do this story justice. I think I am on the right road.
My tip to any new writers – don't be afraid to tear it up and start again. Only accept what you are truly happy with.
From September, the writing will be part time to my studies but not for long. More reading…more research…more discovery. I am a very lucky lady.
EU REFERENDUM
I tell you, it's a miracle our television is still in one piece. Only two weeks to go! I'm so ashamed at what this campaign has degenerated into, from both sides. The blatant lies, fear and racism has been astounding and post referendum, regardless of the result, there will need to be some serious repairs required to certain peoples' reputations. Or, rather, they have finally shown their true colours. 
The EU is like the rest of the world, riddled with fraudulent, unfair and unequal capitalism but whether we are in or out, that will stay until we can fight against it. Here's the thing – if we leave, the power will be transferred to the Brexit Ministers who I deeply mistrust with the NHS, workers' rights and contract negotiations. They can do a lot of damage in four years.The main reasons I want to stay in the EU :

Take away the borders, labels, languages and we are all the same. Human Beings.  I want my children to understand the importance of cooperation, diplomacy and peace. We can't fight environmental issues and be eco-friendly alone.Extremism only survives through fear and war. Together we can end extremism, alone we can't.For all the negativity of the EU, we must remember all the good it has done, least of all the peace it has achieved with our neighbours.But most of all, I want to be a part of a greater world – standing shoulder to shoulder with our closest neighbours to fight for fairness and equality against greed, manipulation and tyranny.
My advice to anyone – Do what you believe is right but whatever you decide, PLEASE VOTE.
JordanF1 F1 testing
Right, the weekend is about to start. We're off to the NSPCC dream car event this weekend; some much needed 'petrolhead' family time… oh and it's the Grand Prix too… oh... and it's the start of Euro 2016. EXCITED!

Have a safe, fun and happy weekend. 

Positively re-focused

Just a quick post today – I don't want people to get the wrong impression that I do this full time. It's amazing when you cut out all the noise and negativity and re-focus, how much work you can get done. Not only that but the new ideas start flowing again. Every cloud has a silver lining – you just have to find it and focus on it. Last night, a very strong new book, or script (not decided yet) idea developed. This thriller is about a respectable businessman who uses the internet to troll and commit a series of crimes. It is in its very, very early stages of development – a side of A4 notes stages. It is so exciting to create new characters, locations and relationships.
Website
I have neglected my website a little recently, well actually a lot. It's tough keeping up with writing, admin, new ideas, editing, proofreading, marketing and web design. I spent yesterday updating and re-writing the pages. I love coding – I know I'm a geek - there is a great sense of achievement when the coding works. Obviously the downside is when it does not work! It has to be so precise; only one character out and the whole thing may not work. I suppose it ties in with the whole creativity theme for me. The thrill of starting with a blank page and creating something from just a small seed of an idea. The sense of achievement is immense.
You can view my website here.
The Nanny
As with all my writing so far, the starting point does not always make the finish line. Sometimes, I write what comes into my head, then go back and shuffle the sections around to increase the intensity or impact. I then have to go back and insert sections to make it all make sense. It works for me. Self- assessment and reflection are vital tools to grow, not just as a writer but as a human being. One of the exciting aspects of writing is, starting with an idea and absolutely having no idea where you will end up – a bit like life really.

I had a wonderful birthday on Wednesday, thoroughly spoilt by my little family. I am so grateful for our time together. Life is way too short to not appreciate what you have. They motivate and encourage me, as I do them. Together, we are moving forward into new exciting chapters of our lives. Are you with us?
Have a great weekend. Next week Wes is back at school – final push on the 'A' level exams.  Lucas has an extra week off. His school saves all their training days for one week – helps with cheaper holidays. Unfortunately, it is only a good thing when your children go to the same school but as I have learned, you can't please everyone. Anyway, Lucas and I have some really lovely mummy/son time next week – in between the Xbox and my writing! Then it will be only 6 weeks to the main summer holidays – where is this year going?
Please…
NEVER stop dreaming… NEVER stop learning and most of all…NEVER stop loving.

Moving on…cutting out the noise

After the horrors of this past week and picking myself back up AGAIN, I have spent five hours this morning doing research and submissions. It's not even eleven clock but I love early mornings. It is so peaceful.
I admit I have had thoughts of giving up this week – 'why bother?' Well, why should I? Why should my boys suffer because of other peoples' lies, bullying and abuse? So, we have had a 'conscious uncoupling', which is the only way we can move forward and not keep going through this hellish rollercoaster. You can't change other peoples' behavior but you can stop it affecting you.
I am more than happy to admit I am perfectly imperfect. Every life is a work in progress – it sounds corny but it is true. I desperately want to succeed in life so I can give the boys the lives they deserve. I don't want to be on the scrap heap. I have overcome so many obstacles and have more life to look forward to. You're either with me or not. If you're not with me…PLEASE leave now.
EU REFERENDUM
Signing my postal vote, actually brought great relief. I love politics but this campaign has been dirty, disgraceful and incredibly arrogant. I'm embarrassed how us Brits must be coming across to our EU friends. Believe me, these people do not speak for me. The EU is not perfect but I love being a part of a multi-cultural, fair and humane Europe.
PhD 
I received an email this week, from the funding council, confirming my research is well within their funding remit. BUT – and there's always a BUT – there are a number of obstacles I have to work through – STORY OF MY LIFE!
If anyone has any useful advice, it would be greatly appreciated.
STREETWISE
I've submitted this work now…fingers crossed.This is the outline of the script:
Logline:          In a dark world of unimaginable pain and tragedy, angels and heroes emerge as shining beacons of hope. All is not lost. Genre:            Drama – North of England, 2015. Outline Life's path can change at the blink of an eye or the detonation of a bomb. In Leeds, Rob Kennedy should have been planning a wedding, not a funeral. Consumed with guilt and grief, suicide seems his only option to end the perpetual nightmare. A single of act of kindness saves him from himself.In Birmingham, Georgina Harding escapes the pedophile ring, after being imprisoned by her mother's new partner. At fifteen, living on the streets is a safer option.In Manchester, Jonathan Maitland is released from prison and begins searching for his traitor of a wife, after she assisted the police to secure a conviction against him. This time he was determined to end her life. Three lives worth saving, yet their paths are about to cross with potentially lethal consequences.
If you happen to be in film, TV – please, please HELP – not that I'm desperate like.
As you can probably imagine, my head has not been in my writing this week – I'M BACK… back taking on the world – one word at a time.Follow your dreamsMuch love 

Moving on…

After the horrors of this past week and picking myself back up AGAIN, I have spent five hours this morning doing research and submissions. It's not even eleven clock but I love early mornings. It is so peaceful.
I admit I have had thoughts of giving up this week – 'why bother?' Well, why should I? Why should my boys suffer because of other peoples' lies, bullying and abuse? So, we have had a 'conscious uncoupling', which is the only way we can move forward and not keep going through this hellish rollercoaster. You can't change other peoples' behavior but you can stop it from affecting you.
I am more than happy to admit I am perfectly imperfect. Every life is a work in progress – it sounds corny but it is true. I desperately want to succeed in life so I can give the boys the lives they deserve. I don't want to be on the scrap heap. I have overcome so many obstacles and have more life to look forward to. You're either with me or not. If you're not with me…PLEASE leave now.
EU REFERENDUM
Signing my postal vote, actually brought great relief. I love politics but this campaign has been dirty, disgraceful and incredibly arrogant. I'm embarrassed how us Brits must be coming across to our EU friends. Believe me, these people do not speak for me. The EU is not perfect but I love being a part of a multi-cultural, fair and humane Europe.
PhD 
I received an email this week, from the funding council, confirming my research is well within their funding remit. BUT – and there's always a BUT – there are a number of obstacles I have to work through – STORY OF MY LIFE!
If anyone has any useful advice, it would be greatly appreciated.
STREETWISE
I've submitted this work now…fingers crossed.This is the outline of the script:
Logline:          In a dark world of unimaginable pain and tragedy, angels and heroes emerge as shining beacons of hope. All is not lost. Genre:            Drama – North of England, 2015. Outline Life's path can change at the blink of an eye or the detonation of a bomb. In Leeds, Rob Kennedy should have been planning a wedding, not a funeral. Consumed with guilt and grief, suicide seems his only option to end the perpetual nightmare. A single of act of kindness saves him from himself.In Birmingham, Georgina Harding escapes the pedophile ring, after being imprisoned by her mother's new partner. At fifteen, living on the streets is a safer option.In Manchester, Jonathan Maitland is released from prison and begins searching for his traitor of a wife, after she assisted the police to secure a conviction against him. This time he was determined to end her life. Three lives worth saving, yet their paths are about to cross with potentially lethal consequences.
If you happen to be in film, TV – please, please HELP – not that I'm desperate like.
As you can probably imagine, my head has not been in my writing this week – I'M BACK… back taking on the world – one word at a time.Follow your dreamsMuch love 

A Blatant Lie

Sorry to all my followers but this needs to be said in my words…

I am deeply saddened and incredibly hurt that I am being accused of refusing to give my Mum a lift to the hospital to visit my dying uncle. This is A BLATANT LIE. From this lie, I have suffered vile abuse and now been excluded from my Dad's 70th birthday celebrations. I am truly heartbroken.

I am putting this on my social media sites to offer people the TRUTH – especially those who have been sucked into this lie. I have practically locked myself away to avoid confrontation and abuse, just because of a lie. I have to protect my children and I can't do that if I am ill through stress. Sadly, they seem hell bent on continuing to cause trouble. So let me be clear. I NEVER refused to help; I NEVER refused a lift. NEVER! 

Stop the lies and move on with your lives. You can be as outraged as you like for this post but you will not stop me speaking the truth and you will never take away our future happiness.

Much love
Pam