Pam Charles's Blog, page 13

Attitude is everything

Grab a coffee, tea or your favourite tipple – this is a long one…
Well, it wasn’t a great weekend for sport. Sheffield Eagles lost, the debacle of the grand prix, not to mention the catastrophic meltdown of Liverpool FC. However, if you look at the bright side:
There were great performances from young players on both sides – Sheffield and London.Vettel and Ferrari gained second place – Forza Ferrari!!Liverpool FC have 11 weeks to turn it around (next year is our year, LOL). You see, every cloud has a silver lining! Attitude is everything! In sport, as in life, you can wallow in self-pity and misery or you can rebuild and refuse to let anything defeat or deflate you. I was reminded of this when twittertroll raised her ugly head again. Shame because I thought she’d grown out of her childish behaviour. This time though I did find it amusing that she had exposed herself to everyone and I hope now that they know this was all orchestrated by her. Sorry love but you have not broken our spirit or prevented us from pursuing our dreams. What it has done is reinforced my drive to continue to build my business, my books and my PhD but most importantly of all, to continue my parenting. I lead by example. Attitude is everything!
I have always taught the boys to be independent, strong, respectful, humble and most of all honest – honest with themselves and with everyone around them. I admit, it is not the ‘norm’ and I wasn’t sure how it would be received by other people but I am so glad I have stuck to my guns and so far it has and is, paying off. With being honest with yourself, comes the acceptance that you will make mistakes. The boys have been taught that mistakes are OKAY. Human beings have the ability to make mistakes and learn from them – well, most do. Accepting mistakes, apologising and learning from them separates the decent ones from the … well… dishonest ones. 
The proudest moments as a Mum have been when the boys have held their hands up, admitted their mistakes, apologised and moved on. Attitude is everything!
In order to teach this rare honesty, as a parent I have had to be honest too. I have always admitted mistakes to the boys and apologised for them. If I have been wrong in an argument, I have admitted to them I was wrong. I don’t see this as a weakness at all. The boys know adults are not always right! It is about a mutual respect. Very few people understand the dynamics within my precious family and I have been questioned many times and told ‘they are only kids’ or ‘they have too much say’ and the best one of all ‘when they get to a teenager, they will rebel.’ Really? The truth is the boys are human beings. Just because they are children, does not make them inferior. They need guidance, discipline and to be taught how to conduct themselves. That is my job. It is not my job to treat them like second class citizens or bully them because I am bigger and older. Wes and I agreed this week we do not need to justify the dynamics within our family. We are all happy, all pursuing our dreams, all working incredibly hard and all being honest with each other and more importantly, ourselves. Attitude is everything!
Bright Blue Eyes
I am currently re-writing my website and re-launching my business. When I received my three book publishing deal, I put the business on hold. Admittedly with hindsight, I rushed into publishing my first book. As a single Mum, the financial pressure is always a tremendous weight on my shoulders. Sometimes decisions are made for the wrong reasons but with good intentions. We all live and learn.
Bright Blue Eyes offers business support services to organisations that do not have the staff to carry out administrative tasks. Services are offered on a one off basis or on an ongoing basis, dependent on the need of the client.


















 My website is under construction but can be viewed here.
Follow me too:TwitterFacebook
Writing
I’m taking a break from writing to try and build up the family coffers!! Basically, I’m skint and need to keep my little family afloat – I’m sure that is true for many of us these days. My ideal would be to earn money from writing and that is my long term goal but it doesn’t pay the bills NOW. Until that happens, I will be writing in my spare time!

These are the part time projects I am working on:
Beyond the LiesI have taken so much time over the editing of this sequel because my confidence was dented with the publishing of my first book but I am confident this will be a great book when it is finished. Attitude is everything!
Behind the Painted SmileI really love this book. I don’t like to start too many projects but this story gripped me from the first idea. I have written approximately 10,000 words and the ideas are flowing freely. This is about a woman who turns to social media for company as she gets little attention at home. Her obsession with it turns into sinister acts that results in murder!
CharityThis is in essence a story about how several peoples’ tragic lives intertwine to result in something very special. This idea has been so strong that already I have 15,000 words written.
I really wish I could clone myself!! Who said single Mums sit in their pyjamas watching TV all day!!  Every week I realise how hard I work – hopefully I will see the rewards soon!
PhD
I am finalising the revised proposal this week. Please keep your fingers crossed that I can secure funding. This would be my ultimate dream come true.

My debut novel is still available:

Have you had the chance to read it yet? Would you like to review it for me?

Read the first three chapters FREE on my website
Available from:Pegasus Publishers
Amazon UK
Kindle
Amazon US

 
Or you can order from your local bookshop. The ISBN number is : 978-1-84386-789-0
Finally, I want to say this to everyone. BE NICE. It doesn’t cost anything to be nice and supportive. Being truthful is not the same as being mean or badly behaved. The old saying, ‘it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it’ is so true. If a child is told they are no good and won’t make anything of themselves, it is likely to happen. It truly saddens me that some people, especially but not exclusively women, put other women down. I’m all for being supportive and growing together. I am not in competition with anyone. 
It’s half term this week so I can start work early with no interruption for school runs apart from Tuesday when Wes is going into school for revision – SCHOOL IN YOUR HOLIDAY TIME. That is dedication. ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING.
Have a fabulous week and SUPPORT each other.







TwitterFacebook
www.pamcharles.com
LinkedIn

National Service is NOT required

National Service is not required to instill respect, honest and integrity in young people. Parents need to learn to TEACH their children from the moment they give birth. I blame the 1960s and the 'free spirit' attitude. All children are blank canvasses and bloody gorgeous ones at that. It is up to us as parents to turn them into works of art.

From the day I wanted to be a parent, I knew and understood it was MY responsibility to teach my children - not teachers, not society and certainly not the armed forces. It is a FULL TIME job - 24/7, 365 days per year.  It really saddens me to see children turning to crime and their parents defending their action as its not their fault for not being given the opportunities - NO! It's the parents fault for not creating the opportunities or teaching the children how to create their own opportunities. As a child I didn't get life. I was naive and believed everything people told me. I believed I was no good, wouldn't possibly be able to progress to where I wanted to go. What did I do? Believed them. Now I see it differently and I have made damn sure my boys are not dissuaded from pursuing their dreams.

What can I say? Lucas has declared he wants to be Prime Minister. Well, after he made sure someone else would be doing all the paperwork! Eight years old and he is already a political analyst. Mums and animals will be treated like royalty - GUARANTEED. He definitely has my blood and I'm immensely proud both boys have been so engaged in the general election - result aside, of course! I've spent their entire life instilling into them the importance of NOT having an 'I'm alright Jack' attitude. Sadly it appears we are in the minority but as far as we are concerned that is fine by us.

Lucas has decided he wants to help out in the next election campaign. Lucas-George - PM in the making!


This weekend I had an epiphany! Well actually it was more of an endorsement. An endorsement of my parenting skills. Although Wes' team narrowly missed out on a win, I was incredibly proud of his performance. It was a 'Rocky' moment. You know the one - young pretender gives his absolute all to try and inspire a win against the odds. He left absolutely nothing in the tank and was deservedly praised for it. Whilst his performance was admirable, it was his attitude that I was, and am, most proud of. He is one of the youngest in the group yet has the maturity to listen to advice and the confidence to speak out, in what could be a very intimidating environment. Most of all, I love his honesty. He owns his mistakes, learns from them and moves on. Lots of adults could certainly learn from his integrity.

Words cannot truly express my pride in both of them and in myself because in spite of people telling me I was wrong in bringing the boys up the way I have, I was right in sticking to my guns and not compromising my own beliefs. Children need to be respected, nurtured and helped along into adulthood.


Menieres
So, medication is supposed to make you feel better, right? WRONG! Since agreeing to try medication, I have felt so much worse. Some days I have been so bad that I have not been able to string a sentence together or even had enough energy to get dressed. It has been ridiculously hard to keep focus and keep going but I have,just. One thing I have learned this time is not to give myself such a hard time and expect to be able to go at 100 mph when my body can only manage 20 mph. I am going to try no medication this week and see how I feel by Friday.


The hardest part of Menieres is how much it knocks my confidence. Some days the floor moves like a ship and I am unsteady on my feet. Other days I can't hear what people are saying to me or even worse, I can honestly say I can't hear what is coming out of my mouth. It truly is a horrendous illness to cope with. Getting people to understand invisible illnesses is the biggest challenge in life.


Beyond the Past



Have you had the chance to read it yet? Would you like to review it for me?
Read the first three chapters FREE on my website






Available from:

Pegasus Publishers
Amazon UK
Kindle
Amazon US

Or you can order from your local bookshop. The ISBN number is : 978-1-84386-789-0 


Beyond the Lies
So I've decided to re-write it. I love my debut novel but it is just that. My first book. Like my boys, I like to learn from experiences and I have grown as a writer in such a short space of time. Instinctively I was not 100% happy with the first draft. It was only a DRAFT. Now the work begins again and I love what I have written so far. I will definitely be investing in a an editor - you live and learn.

Well, I am glad you are still with me. You have no idea how much your support means to me. I hope you have a wonderful week. This week we are in Sheffield four times but it is SOOO worth it.

Have fun...







TwitterFacebook
www.pamcharles.com
LinkedIn

May the force... be with us all

Last week was the first week I have not blogged since I started this blog. Every time I sat down to write the blog, something happened and I was called away to do something else. It is frustrating but you know, that’s life. I get to the end of the week and have no idea where my time has gone! Yet, I know exactly where it goes – divided between school runs, making fresh meals, running back and forth to Sheffield, attending rugby league and football matches and somewhere in between working on a PhD proposal and writing books and screenplays. I need to stop beating myself up and accepting I am not super human!!Two weekends ago, I travelled to Gloucester to watch the Hallam Eagles win by 54 10, playing some outstanding rugby league and scoring some great tries. On the Sunday we
were up early to attend the Knaresborough Celtic football gala with Lucas. I have to say it was probably the best run gala I have ever been to. I know how exhausting they are to organise, but the weather was kind, which is always a bonus in the UK.
If hard work alone paid off, I’d be a blooming millionaire, still there are more important things in life than money.
In between the two matches and travelling, I write and edit. That is how I manage to get my work done and the 5am starts! In fact, the busier I am the more I get done. Do you find that too?
Menieres
Just after Christmas, I was referred to a Specialist because my symptoms were worsening and the periods of incapacity were getting longer. As usual by the time I got to see the Specialist the symptoms had subsided. I have never met such an arrogant man in all my life and trust me I have met a few over the years! He didn’t listen, he wasn’t remotely interested and decided it was not Menieres and I had migraine!! His diagnosis sent me in a spin (sorry, couldn’t resist it!).
Bearing in mind I lost my job because of Menieres and have spent seven years depriving myself of certain foods and drink, I was totally floored at first then angry. I had thousands of questions but went through a period of thinking I must have imagined all the pain and suffering. Anyway, I went to see my GP and he apologised profusely and referred me to another Specialist. After extensive tests, and not just one quick test like the first Specialist, it has been confirmed that I have bilateral Menieres and after seven years of resisting, I now have medication and am going for tinnitus therapy – the name conjures up all sorts of witty comments! I am so glad of our NHS and the brilliant doctors. There’s always ONE!
Tour De Yorkshire

This weekend the Tour De Yorkshire passed through, right by our house. I was SO excited. For about twenty years the Tour De France has been on my bucket list and I was so excited when we had the Grand Depart last year. The only trouble was I was in Cumbria for the rugby league when it happened. Sod’s bloody law!! Anyway I got to witness the Tour De Yorkshire this weekend and it was fabulous. Lucas was a little taken aback at the speed of the riders but he was super happy when we managed to get a photograph of Sir Bradley Wiggins – Lucas has kept his sideburns since 2012 in homage of Sir Bradley!










PhD
This is such an important development for me and I received great feedback for the first draft proposal. Now I am working on the amendments. The funding, however, could take some time! Story of my life!
Writing
I have decided the best time to write for me is at 5am! The first two hours before the chaos of school commences is definitely the most productive. The clear skies and sunshine has been a boost too (although where has it gone?)
I have lots of projects on the go at the moment and in next week’s blog I am going to give you little teasers… I know I’m good that way!
Beyond the Past
Have you had the chance to read it yet? Would you like to review it for me?
Read the first three chapters FREE on my website






Available from:

Pegasus Publishers
Amazon UK
Kindle
Amazon US

Or you can order from your local bookshop. The ISBN number is : 978-1-84386-789-0

Election 2015
As the UK election is two days away I can’t go without adding my two penneth worth. People constantly chastise me for talking about politics and how I feel about my own country. Why shouldn’t we talk about it? That is so English! Or in my world … ye olde English! I want to debate issues. Too many people sit and moan yet do nothing. For me, not voting is a SIN, a criminal act. As far as I am concerned there is a clear choice – have a government that ensures the few succeed or one that encourages working people from all backgrounds to succeed and support those who are unfortunate enough to have lost their livelihood for whatever reason. I am super proud of our National Health Service and people seem to forget that it is in the forefront of research and development in the world in so many areas of health. 
I know who I am and what I believe in. Sneer, look down on me, call it ‘class envy’ or what you like. I am proud to fight for those less fortunate and still try to better myself. I believe that the problems with ‘benefits’, ‘tax avoidance’, ‘bank bonuses’, ‘look after number one philosophy’ all stem from Thatcher’s idiotic policies of the 1980s. Cameron is just finishing what she started – when few benefit at the cost of the many, it is not a democracy!!! Why should the individual business leaders cream off millions when their staff are interns, working for nothing or on zero hour contracts? You can still succeed with an ethical outlook. So shame on you all! The government is there to protect and serve ALL - it certainly does not feel that way!
It is time we talked about POLITICS – it’s time we teach our children the values of the NHS, education and a society that has the common decency to look after EVERYONE not the privileged few. 
Food banks in a modern society are scandalous especially for WORKING families. It’s real, it’s happening in my beloved country whilst MPs spend obscene amounts of money on CHAMPAGNE. Why is that right? The right wing press are despicable and Sky News has been switched off in our house otherwise I find myself shouting at the television.Anyway, I’m off my soap box now.
May the 4th saw Lucas start to watch the Complete Saga for the first time. I was so excited as it is my favourite collection of films EVER. When they finally released the story behind Darth Vader, I booked tickets for Wes and I. In great anticipation, we sat there. At the moment which ALL was revealed, Wes was desperate for the toilet – yep, I missed it!!! So glad it came out on DVD.
Well, that’s me and if you are still reading, thank you… you are a superstar. May the force be with you…


Have a great week everyone







TwitterFacebook
www.pamcharles.com
LinkedIn

SO proud of the RL Family

It was incredibly tragic on Sunday to hear of the death of a young rugby player.  RIP Danny and my sincerest condolences to his wife, his 5 month old twins and his family and friends.

Well done to Steve Ball of the RFL for setting up a justgiving page. I don't know why everyone is so surprised at the response from the rugby league family. I'm not. We take our sport for granted and the people within it. Yes there are things that drive us to distraction BUT when it comes down to standing together, ignoring club colours, we do it so magnificently.

If anyone can please donate at Justgiving 

Thank you

xx

Keeping your eye on the prize…

Hello again. How has your week been so far? I don’t mind sharing that this week I am struggling. Struggling to balance life, struggling to sleep, struggling financially and struggling to keep the boys balanced and healthy.
Parenting
We don’t do diets in this house, we do healthy eating plans. Wes and I have low carbs, high protein diets and my youngest has a balanced diet even more so since he has had these mystery symptoms that are even baffling the professionals. Honestly, he has had nose bleeds, pins and needles, serious bouts of exhaustion and loss of concentration. My instincts have always led me to believe it was not medical but to do with lifestyle. However, he is active, not overweight and generally happy and very bright. 
Every other weekend and once a week he goes to his Dad’s house. Obviously I’d discussed the health issues with him and explained the new healthy eating and regular exercise. I thought we were on the same page. Monday evening I went to the doctors to discuss results. Everything is fine apart from the nose bleeds and pins and needles that had reappeared on Sunday evening in spite of a couple of weeks, nearly a month symptom free!
Monday evening I asked for a list of what he had eaten over the weekend. What I was advised totally shocked and actually devastated me. I had spent more than six months worrying about my little boy and had spent time at the doctors and the specialists at the LGI, who, incidentally, were fantastic. After analysing the food he had eaten, these were the results. Bearing in mind I have done the estimations very conservatively.

Fat Sugar Salt Recommended 35 12.6 2 Friday (1 meal only) 110.5 86.5 3.99 Saturday 77.4 103.2 3.666 Sunday 50.7 93.6 0.2328
I admit I cried from anger, frustration, disgust and fear. Talk about feeling like a bad mother!!

So the first part of this week and not for the first time, I have educated my son on the importance of healthy eating, not dieting! Some people don’t understand the difference apparently.  Ten years ago I would have vehemently opposed any discussion about lifestyle with a child and it certainly is not the responsibility of an eight year old to ensure he is eating properly but when you’re hitting your head against a brick wall, you eventually have to try a new direction.
I highlight this only to demonstrate the risks children face and in spite of me watching what he eats and how he lives his life, his health was at risk.  I feel like the Gestapo!  I am not popular at the moment but it has to be done to prevent serious illness. I guess the biggest lesson is don’t give up on your instincts. Apparently I am a nag – guess what? This nag is not stopping!! Let’s hope this is the end the bouts of illness but it won’t be the end of the worrying - that lasts a lifetime. The other lesson is – giving life lessons to children does not let up. It’s been an uncomfortable start to the week but some issues can’t be ignored. Days like this I know I am very much on my own, swimming against the tide or in my case... a blooming tsunami!Obviously this has distracted me from work but if it saves him from long term illness, it is worth it.
Rugby League
On a lighter note, we had a mammoth journey to Valley Cougars on Saturday to watch Wes play for Hallam Eagles. Wow, what a journey! Not helped by the M50 being closed all day which forced a detour south to the Severn bridge then back up to Treharris.
Still, I think it was worth the journey. Thirteen young, rising stars competed, and I mean competed, against seventeen GROWN men, sixteen after one of the men decided he would stamp on Wes. Although they narrowly lost 14-16 to last year’s league winners, they all worked hard and did the club and themselves really proud. This weekend we travel to Gloucester after spending Tuesday night watching the reserves at the Dewsbury Rams. That is Saturday taken care of and Sunday Lucas has a football tournament. 
It looks like 5am starts for me for the foreseeable future just to fit everything in. It is a good job I can work anytime, anywhere – is it too early for Martini?? (if you was not alive in the 1980s you may not get this!)
Writing
What has made this week even more frustrating, is the list of projects I need time to sort out. Time is the rarest commodity in our house, money being the second!
I am editing my next book, have started another but the biggest work has been on the PhD proposal revisions and scriptwriting. The latter is something I have wanted to try for a while and two of my current stories are developing more for the screen than a book but I wouldn’t rule out the latter!! The way I roll, I suppose!
I am looking forward to the day when I am earning some money from writing so I can employ someone to help me. For now though, I have accepted that writing and following my new career path is my second priority behind my children. I put myself under so much pressure to do everything I need to do. I won’t give up in spite of the lack of support from people. It is not being deluded or stubborn, it is being a human being who refuses to accept the ‘norm’ and give up on what is right for my little family.
Introducing you to Beyond the Past

The book is set in Yorkshire featuring local cities and towns - Leeds, Harrogate, York and Wetherby and centres around rugby league.  Main Characters
Annie Swift - Elegant, funny and very strong. Mum of two rising stars in rugby league. Mark Smith - Ex professional rugby league player, now a pundit on television and radio. Matt Swift - Annie's eldest son, plays rugby league professionally for Leeds. Ed Swift-Brown - Just breaking into professional rugby league, Ed is on loan to London then signs for Leeds to realise his ultimate ambition of playing alongside his big brother.Garry Pearce - Mark's best friend. Played rugby league together from amateur under 8s to professionally for Wigan and Great Britain. Louisa Smith -Mark's ex wife and mother to their only child Sophie. DCI Harry Fisher -Senior Investigating Officer in the case. DS Phillipa Davies -Mother of two children, Phillipa is very bright. Harry specifically asks for her to be assigned to the case not just for professional reasons.Andrea Collins - Annie's Mum and confidante.Charles Collins -Annie's father and Matt and Ed's hero. 
Opening pages
Just past the Halifax junction on the M62, Mark Smith noticed a car tailing him. It had been there for about three miles. After recent events, he changed lanes a few times, the car followed. Annie sensed his anxiety and watched him cautiously looking through his mirror. Suddenly the car overtook them and lingered at their side. Mark looked across to see the driver but the tinted windows prevented any identification. He slowed down, the car slowed down. The cat and mouse antics went on for a couple of miles.
"Annie! Ed! Keep your wits about you. Annie ring Harry and let him know. When I slow down see if one of you can get the registration number," Mark instructed.
Annie's heart was pounding but she was more concerned she had one of her precious boys with them. Ed wasn't at all fazed. He was watching Mark intensely. Mark braked suddenly and the car skidded to the left. It was enough for Ed to take a note of the registration number. However, the car slowed down and pulled in front of them. Mark was forced to brake hard to avoid a collision.
Annie Swift's life flashed before her eyes. She'd not had an easy life; her first marriage was violent and the only good thing to come out of it all was her eldest son, Matt. Oh God! Matt she thought. He was on the verge of re-signing a contract to play Rugby League for his home town, the club she had supported as a child with her grandpa. She didn't want her life to end now! Her mum and dad needed her, her boys needed her and most of all she'd finally met someone she could grow old with, who loved her unconditionally and made her happy at last. Life had been cruel but it was worth the heartache to have such beautiful boys and now a new partner. She had come through so much and was finally in a good place in her life. It was inconceivable it could end now. 
"Shit!" Mark shouted as he swerved out to the middle lane. As he tried to overtake the car, it too increased its speed. Then, without warning the pursuer swerved into the middle lane, again Mark's defensive driving avoided contact but this was getting really scary. Annie was shouting down the phone to DCI Harry Fisher. 
Ed turned to Mark. "Mark keep calm you are doing great. I think we should try and get off the motorway at the next exit."
Annie interrupted, "Harry suggested that too. I am going to put the phone on loudspeaker so we can tell him what's happening."
Just as she said this, Mark managed to manoeuvre past the car. He was an ex professional rugby player, not a racing driver' He put his foot down and was doing ninety-five mph when the car came right up behind him. There was no getting away from it. Mark was shaking but was trying his best to get them out of trouble. 
"The next junction, junction twenty-four, is coming up. I'm going to let him pass us and then slip off the motorway."
DCI Fisher's voice bellowed, "Mark, listen to me, do not do anything stupid! Stay within the law, we will be there shortly. The motorway police are three minutes away and the helicopter five. Stay calm but do not, I repeat do not speed." 
Mark realised it was stupid trying to outrun the car. The shaking subsided a little as he reduced his speed to seventy. The car overtook him again but this time re-joined his lane and slammed on again in front of him. Annie and Ed screamed and Annie lifted her hands to her face. Mark swerved again and braked but it was not enough. The passenger side front wing clipped the rear of the car in front. It spun the BMW out of control and into the central reservation. The airbags activated. 
For what seemed an eternity the three of them said nothing. Annie could hear the faint sirens of the emergency vehicles. The searing pain from her leg was unbearable.
"Mum!, Mum you okay?" She recognised Ed's voice.
She tried to speak but the words wouldn't come out. She nodded but wasn't sure if her head actually moved. The pain was taking over, it was so, so intense. She could hear Ed and Mark's voice and a strange distant voice calling her name, she recognised it was Harry but couldn't understand why he was there. She passed out.
Ed and Mark walked out of the mangled mess and sat in an ambulance close by. Both shocked, Ed had a small cut on his left cheek and on his hand where a splinter of glass had hit him. It seemed a very strange situation to him. He was sitting calmly in an ambulance whilst the scene outside was pandemonium. None of it seemed real. It resembled a scene from a Bruce Willis blockbuster.
Read the first three chapters FREE on my website

Available from:

Pegasus Publishers
Amazon UK
Kindle
Amazon US

Or you can order from your local bookshop. The ISBN number is : 978-1-84386-789-0 



Have a great week everyone







TwitterFacebook
www.pamcharles.com
LinkedIn

Positively positive… NOW

Crushing the negativity and inner demons
Well, I suppose I better start with the excuses of why I am so late blogging this week… well not really excuses. It’s been a full on week. The boys are on holiday, I’ve been working on lots of projects, sorting the house out and yesterday was the 26th anniversary of Hillsborough which is always a day of reflection for me.

Down to business. Do you ever bite the bullet and set wheels in motion then spend time convincing yourself you are not clever enough or people won’t take you seriously? I do and it drives me insane. It most definitely is my life challenge and believe me I have come so far from how I was even three years ago. It is probably the one single thing that has held me back in my life. I fight it every day, thankfully it is becoming less overwhelming and more of a driving force to push myself out of the comfort zone. It has also driven me to ensure the boys do not suffer from self-doubt yet remain humble and thankful. 
Isn’t it funny how we subconsciously rebel against our own childhood experiences? I never felt I had support to follow my dreams and was too easily talked out of them. My ideas were always met with, at best, apathetic enthusiasm and that is looking at it optimistically! Unfortunately, surrounding myself with the wrong people meant I gave up and accepted a job and career path that was predictable and ‘normal’. Being diagnosed with Menieres was the catalyst for change. It led me to analysing everything in my life including my relationships.
Unknowingly, I had surrounded myself with people who were happy for me to have clipped wings. I only have myself to blame but it is much easier to just go with the flow. It’s not right but it’s much easier. THIS WAS NOT ME! I am fighter, always have been since being born with the umbilical cord wrapped around my neck at birth. I had become everything I despised. 
Breaking the Mould
It is tough breaking the mould. I understand now what some many wise people were trying to tell me years ago. I wish I had understood back then. To physically and mentally stand up against the ‘norm’ and finally take the plunge into your own life is scary, lonely at times but courageous and rewarding in ways you can never imagine.
I fight every day to maintain my standards, my principles. I want my boys to be brought up to understand equality, freedom, right and wrong, the importance of truth, honesty and integrity. Most days I am swimming against the tide and it is exhausting. The easiest life would be to concede my beliefs and go with the flow. I understand why people settle for this, I really do but it is not me. BEEN THERE – GOT THE SCARS! I am always being told, “You do what you want anyway!” As if making my own choices is the worst thing in the world. Those people, though, are the very people who tried to clip my wings.
We are all a blank canvas that changes through choices, experiences and time. I am my OWN person. I live within my own standards and within the law. That is all people should be concerned with. Everything else is my business.
I no longer surround myself with the wrong people. I no longer do things through duty – that’s not being unsociable, it is being true to who I have become. It is so gratifying for the penny to drop and peace reigns over my lovely little family.
PhD – A whole new level
The PhD is the most selfish thing I have done in my life. It is my own personal goal but I think we, as a family, are now in a position for me to do this. I have discussed it at length with the boys and their unequivocal support makes me so proud. It makes my decision even easier but no less daunting.
The boys are strong and independently minded. That is and will always be my greatest achievement although my work is not complete yet. It is rewarding to be able to influence, not control; to nurture, not stunt their growth; to guide them rather than force them. Life is not all sweetness and roses, I know that more than most. The boys need to understand that but also need to know the world can be a magical, wonderful place with some extraordinary people doing amazing things, however small that positive contribution is. The greatest gift given to a child is the ability to be a decent human being, devoid of prejudicial judgement. It is not easy! 
Never underestimate a parent’s role in the shaping of future generations.
Writing


In between researching and drafting proposals, I have been editing my work and writing new material. Oh and I have submitted some short stories for publication. There’s no limit to what you can do once you surround yourself with positivity and eliminate most of the negativity.






Rugby League
Last week I watched two fabulous games of rugby. Wes played in the home game in which they won 54 22. It was a great performance and my baby seem to come of age right in front of me! The second was Sheffield Eagles v Leigh Centurions. It was great to watch it with Wes and we had great fun. The last five minutes sealed the loss for the Eagles but the result did not in any way reflect the Eagles’ performance.



#JFT96
Tuesday 15th April 2015 was the 26thanniversary of the Hillsborough disaster – TWENTY SIX YEARS OF FIGHTING FOR JUSTICE! Ninety six children, men and women lost their lives and hundreds, if not thousands of other lives were changed forever.
I am in awe of all the families and survivors who have fought all this time for truth and justice. Anne Williams lost her son on the fateful day. Anne fought tirelessly until she lost her battle with cancer on the 18th April 2013. Anne is my hero. Someone who showed unimaginable determination, humility, dignity and fortitude to carry on even when the establishment slammed doors in her face. A true, working class hero who showed me how to be a formidable Mum. RIP Anne – justice is coming.






TwitterFacebook
www.pamcharles.com
LinkedIn

‘Doh!’ vs ‘Wow!’ Moments

Life according to Pam Charles : Learn from the 'Doh!'. Relish the 'Wow!'Menieres Madness
I am not very good at accepting that Menieres means I do have limitations. Nearly every day I am reminded of the awful symptoms but I use them as a driving force to prove that I am strong and can overcome anything. It is not surprising then, when I am really ill, I beat myself up for not being able to be strong and conquer it. That’s when the overwhelming feeling of hopelessness takes over. I literally have to give myself a massive kick up the backside to get past those moments but I inevitably do. That is my daily battle and that is why I am less concerned now, more than I have ever been, about silly high school behaviour. I definitely have an intolerance to people who want to waste a moment of their lives slating other people for trying, or being racist, a bigot or just plain ignorant.
My illness has been my driving force to my own personal goals and success. I found a great article this week on Facebook that tries to explain ‘brain fog’ and how to deal with it. This is the article. I suffer from brain fog more and more and it is so frustrating. I walk into the kitchen to put the washing out and end up preparing the night’s tea; I go to the petrol station to check the tyre pressures and put petrol in and I can’t tell you what happens when I go to the supermarket!! Needless to say I don’t come out with what I need unless I have a list. My life is now an ENDLESS bundle of lists. I cope with brain fog by making lists - appointment times, bills I have to pay and when, shopping, outstanding jobs to do. Inevitably there are times when I forget appointments and to pay bills. I used to beat myself up about these things but now I accept it is a p
One thing that does strike me though is my ability to remember the research and learning that I do and I genuinely believe this is what has saved me from going completely insane (I know I am partly insane – it helps to get through life!). Focusing on research work and reading has helped me overcome some of the dark days. No one close to me understands this invisible illness. I have had to find my own way of dealing with this. I think I have and my next big adventure of studying for a PhD will, not only enhance my career prospects once the boys can take care of themselves but it will also help me concentrate on a goal that in turn will take away the Menieres madness.
There is always an overwhelming pull for us all to be like someone else – you should dress this way, you should look that way, you should be this, you should be that!! WHY? My life became much more peaceful when I decided to be ME. I am not here to impress anyone, I’m here to leave my mark on the world whether it be within the boys or my own work. That is how I live my life. Some people don’t like that but do you know? I DON’T CARE. 
I am probably in a minority to say (like on so many aspects of life I suppose) I am fascinated by the election campaign. It is so interesting watching the media so blatantly biased towards the right. It has always been present but it appears to be more blatant than ever. What angers me though is the blatant smear campaigns. Quite clearly Nicola Sturgeon is a threat to the right wing and so instead of having a clean fight, they try to smear her with a ‘leaked’ memo. Who are they trying to kid? Really?
My view is simple: a system that only rewards the top 1% of a population, is not a system of Government, it is a tyranny. Whether we like it or not, Governments are elected and we have our say in that. If we don’t vote (and that’s what they hope for) we don’t have our say. It frustrates me when women in public services say they are going to spoil their ballot paper. Really? What does that achieve? Stand up and be counted – that is what life is about, isn’t it? People ask me who they should vote for. That’s none of my business. I vote for my beliefs. If you share my beliefs you will do the same, if not you follow your own instincts. Just, please don’t moan and not participate. I think if you follow me on social media, it is pretty clear which side I fall on.
PhD Study
I have spent most of last week researching and putting together my PhD Proposal. I am so much more alive when I have a book in my hand whether it be fiction or fact. I do hope I can secure funding as this study already means so much to me.Writing

Beyond the Past is selling well. You can read the 1st three chapters FREE here. Links to buy the book are:

Pegasus Publishers
Amazon UK
Kindle
Amazon US

Or you can order from your local bookshop. The ISBN number is : 978-1-84386-789-0 

I have had a lot of enquiries this week asking me the best way to start out and market written work. I don’t like giving generic advice as I am always aware that what works for one does not necessarily work for another. I am, however happy to share and discuss my experiences so far. 
Firstly, can I just say that in spite of endless hours of research, of working on understanding the publishing industry, I am still astonished at the number of sharks out there that are prepared to lie, cheat and steal to make money! If I was Prime Minister I would definitely look into regulating the book industry. I thought I went into this with my eyes wide open and was still duped. A definite ‘DOH!’ moment. To counter balance this though, there have been lots of ‘WOW!’ moments and in a future blog post I will share all of those with you.
Anyway, my point is – be careful out there. Whatever you do, watch for fake people and fake promises. Don’t depart with your hard earned cash until you are 100% convinced you will not be fleeced – I was 99.5% sure and it still happened.
I wrote Beyond the Past without even thinking about how I was going to market it or even how I was going to get it into print. I JUST wanted to write! It was only when the work was finished and I became single again, I thought I would test the water and give it a go.
My steps to being published: 
 I wrote and edited the book I gave my sister the task of reading and editing the book. She did a grand job.Researched the market – Literary Agents; Publishers; Self-publishing optionsResearched the dos and don’ts of publishing!!Researched the other options of websites such as Authonomy.Wrote a synopsis and cover letter, the latter was a nightmare!Picked out a batch of Literary Agents and pitched my book to them. It was totally demoralising getting no response. A ‘no’ was better than nothing as nothing to an eternal optimist means ‘maybe’.I received one constructive response and I am eternally grateful to that Agent who gave me pointers on how to improve my pitch and the story. He would have taken it on but his employer didn’t like NEW writers.I took on board his comments and made changes. Chapter three became Chapter One. I did a full edit againSent out a further hundred or so requests and nothing!
This approach clearly was not working. I almost gave up. You know, it is hard desperately trying to overcome an illness, look after two boys alone and still keep faith in yourself. I had some very dark days during that time. I didn’t want to give up!! I knew I could do something to leave my mark in the world beyond being a great Mum.
I had a ‘WOW!’ moment one morning driving home from the school run. I remembered when I was fifteen I read Ingrid Bergman’s biography. When she went to her first audition, she was knew she had to stand out from the crowd. At the audition she jumped on the staged, startled the judges and left. She got the part.
  My changed approachI set up my own website – after all I had just graduated with a first class honours degree in computingSet up my own social media sites and started connecting with fellow authors, publishers and agents.Attended local networking groupsStarted this blogStarted writing guest blogs and articles.Contacted local pressMade a conscious decision to make my blog personal so people could learn who I was as an artist and human beingI started to build my own audience and it workedPaid for advertising that didn’t work – Doh! I threw caution to the wind!!! I started telling people what I had done. It is not the English way at all but I adopted it nevertheless. I remember reading somewhere that if you believe in yourself, others will too. So that is what I did. The positivity, the ‘Wow’ from people far outweighs the negativity. The ‘Dohs!’ definitely don’t have it.
After eighteen months of hard labour, I managed to have my book published.
MY ADVICE : PROMOTE YOURSELF
I did all this for one thing – to provide for my family. I do not regret in anyway having a go. I would have regretted not having a go. I am the first to admit my writing has improved ten-fold from Beyond the Past and if I was writing my debut novel now, I would do things very differently indeed.  Personally, I think I have done remarkably well in the last two years to stay sane (well not become any more insane), learn many new skills, learn a completely new industry, raise two fabulous boys alone, fight off a progressive illness AND define who I am as an individual in a world that does constantly want to change you.  Just had a ‘Wow’ moment then, when I was taken back to David Cassidy singing ‘How Can I Be Sure?’.
People may scoff and scorn but let them. You’re moving forwards, are they? Never be afraid to step out of your comfort zone because then the ‘Doh!’ moments are dwarfed by those amazing ‘Wow’ moments.





It’s funny how I sat down with a little seed of an idea and it has turned into this blog – LIFE IS FOR LIVING, with or without Menieres. Whatever you do this week - do it with passion, perseverance and a huge smile on your face.







TwitterFacebook
www.pamcharles.com
LinkedIn

Happy Easter

Happy Easter to all my friends and followers.

Twitter
Facebook
www.pamcharles.com
LinkedIn
    Beyond the Past




Beyond the Past is selling well. You can read the 1st three chapters FREE here. Links to buy the book are:

Pegasus Publishers
Amazon UK
Kindle
Amazon US

Or you can order from your local bookshop. The ISBN number is : 978-1-84386-789-0 

It just shows to go you!

Role Models
So because you earn £100,000s a week, it makes you a role model? So because you are a sports, movie or TV personality you MUST be a good role model, right?
At times, it's a very warped world we live in. We see examples of it every day and its one epidemic that needs reversing. Our own Prime Minister chooses to defend a man suspended (now sacked) from his job for physically assaulting a colleague on the same day a retired police officer admits he has lied for over a quarter of a decade. Where is the sense of perspective now? Surely a senior officer should be regarded as a role model? Clearly not.
In fact, in my own little world these are just examples of human beings, being well … human or inhumane in some cases. Role models should begin at home - US PARENTS. It is our responsibility to create the sense of perspective and lead by example. I have no expectations of any sports, movie or television personality being perfect or being perfect role models. They are only human! Plain and simple. HUMAN. They make mistakes, some apologise, too few in my opinion. Others make money from their notoriety but essentially they are like us – well, maybe not because I would never dream of punching, stamping, biting or intentionally lying. However, the media rarely pick report on the fabulous stories of kindness and thoughtfulness like yesterday's All Stars Match at Anfield. They are only humans and we all do bad and good, mainly good things. When things do go wrong, they are lessons to teach the children how not to behave.

I choose to teach my boys about humanity:Know no one is perfectKnow everyone makes mistakesIt is okay to make mistakesOwn your mistakesLive by your OWN standards and don't compromise them Apologise or accept any apologyForgive but don’t forget what it taught you.
Rugby League
I always start out on a game day thinking I have tons of time to kill between the drop offs, travel and the game. Loads of time to write, edit and research. It never works out that way so part of this blog is written in Nottingham and the rest in Leeds!
I love being a part of this great sport in spite of the few that try to ruin it. We do have a fabulous rugby league family. Every game day reminds of this from Wes going through his game day ritual to the drop off at the club or the pickup point for the away games. At home games, I write before the kick off. For away games, I usually travel alone which means I can play my ‘old’ music and sing along as loud as I want without moans from the boys and calls of ‘wartime music’ being played. They are very cheeky! This week it was a 1980s reunion CD so plenty of Queen, Kim Wilde, Human League, Madness, etc.
Going to Nottingham was a trip down happy memory lane.
Memories of NottinghamSo many happy times in so many cities – the British Rally Championship at Clumber Park in the snow; showing, or trying to show the boys how to fire bow and arrows in Sherwood Forest; the D H Lawrence Museum; Lucas’ first trip to the WWE at the Notts Arena;
I love Nottingham and even more so now the boys had a great win.
Setting Goals
There were three goals when I was diagnosed with Menieres and lost my job. These were:
1.       1stClass Honours degree – CHECK2.       Becoming a writer and having a book published – CHECK3.       Gain a PhD – ongoing

This week I am in discussions to achieve my third goal and I have a supervisor in place and ready to work with me. Subject to funding, I should be pursuing my third goal very shortly. I can’t tell you how excited I am. Not bad for a working class single mother with Menieres!! 
I am working on my next three goals – well actually I know what they are but will wait until I have my PhD to publish them.


Beyond the Past




Beyond the Past is selling well. You can read the 1st three chapters FREE here. Links to buy the book are:

Pegasus Publishers
Amazon UK
Kindle
Amazon US

Or you can order from your local bookshop. The ISBN number is : 978-1-84386-789-0 



Beyond the Lies
The edit is in full swing and I am really excited about the outcome. Watch this space…
Scriptwriting I never know whether to call it scriptwriting or screenwriting. I am currently studying and writing a script at the same time. It is really interesting how learning a new art puts a very different perspective on films and dramas. I am loving this new challenge.





When I look back at the work I have managed over the last week I am really satisfied, but exhausted!! The To Do list is growing though!!  I truly am living my dreams and it is only going to get better.
Have a fabulous week everyone. The schools break up this Thursday for Easter so no school runs for two and a half weeks. That makes me HAPPY too.

 
Just a mention : Congratulations to my lifelong team Ferrari for the magical win yesterday. I had goosebumps when the combination of the German and Italian national anthems were played. A new era has begun. #KeepingfightingMichael.



I always welcome your feedback and comments. Have a fabulous week. You can follow my news and events on my website.







TwitterFacebook
www.pamcharles.com

LinkedIn

WRITER, EDITOR, MARKETING EXECUTIVE, BLOGGER & SUPER MUM

I’m a happy, peaceful, hardworking writer, super Mum and generally a good human being but always looking to improve.
Oh, I am such a space geek! Friday’s eclipse was so incredibly exciting for me. Stargazing Live has been enthralling too but let’s face it Dr Brian Cox could make party manifestos sound interesting, right?
Friday set the tone for the weekend. This week it felt like the planets had finally aligned too. Peace has descended on my gorgeous family. Honestly, you have no idea what pressure we have been under recently, from multiple directions. However, we feel we can see the light at last.

Saturday was an incredibly busy but proud day. In the morning, Lucas played football and in the afternoon Wes made his debut for Sheffield Hallam Eagles. I spent most of Saturday freezing to death on the Siberian touchlines – okay it was Wetherby and Sheffield but boy it felt like Siberia! Words could not do any justice to the pride that overflowed from my heart.

I admit, when I saw the opposition at the rugby league game, they literally cast a shadow over me like the Dementors in Harry Potter or the eclipse. I was petrified my cute little boy was playing against these giants. Actually, I don’t know when it happened but my little, cheeky boy has turned into a stropping, young man who did not look out of place or miniature at all. In fact, he held his own magnificently and just to give me that usual heart stopping moment, his first involvement was to tackle the biggest MAN on the pitch. This boy, now man has NO fear.

It’s the start of a fabulous, hopefully long journey and I feel so privileged to be a part of it. The boys inspire me to follow my dreams.

If, no when, I become a successful writer, I would love to set up a fund that helps finance scholarships for young people who would otherwise be deprived of the opportunity to follow their dreams. You certainly can’t put an economic price on striving for your dreams.

WRITING – LEARNING ON THE JOB  I can’t wait for the day when I can pay someone to edit my work. My publisher edits it but I like to edit it and re-edit until I am happy to submit it. In all honesty I would probably edit my work before I let an editor see it anyway. So it does beg the question, do I need an editor? Of course I do, I’m not perfect and no one can 100% edit their own work.

I have learned new editing techniques and requirements since publishing my first novel, Beyond the Past. When you are learning on the job you have to accept you will make mistakes BUT mistakes are okay. That is how we develop as human beings. You will ALWAYS get people who jump on other peoples’ mistakes, ALWAYS. However, they are likely to be the ones that will never leave their comfort zone and obviously believe they are super human and immune from making mistakes. Let them get on with it! Concentrate on learning from your mistakes and you will develop.

FIRST DRAFT Unless you are super talented, and I never profess to be, the first draft will never be your final product. I hand write my books so that I can further edit when I type my work. Even after this first edit, I still consider this my first, rough draft.When I wrote Beyond the Past, I wanted it right first time, with everything in place and perfect. I was so naïve and put myself under so much pressure. Not now, in fact I laugh at myself so much. Thankfully, I learn very quickly.

Beyond the Past is selling well. You can read the 1st three chapters FREE here. Links to buy the book are:

Pegasus Publishers
Amazon UK
Kindle
Amazon US

Or you can order from your local bookshop. The ISBN number is : 978-1-84386-789-0 


BEYOND THE LIES  When I drafted Beyond the Lies, I knew it was not the finished product. This has actually made editing much more interesting. I know the ending of the book now so I can beef up the story and suspense throughout. That is very exciting.

The edits the book will go through BEFORE anyone in the business sees it include:



First, rough draft scribbled on paper then typed Spelling, grammar checksSearch and delete unnecessary, words like ‘very’. It’s interesting to find over 300+ ‘very’ in your work and be upset with yourself that you’ve used it that many times in 170,000 words only to find that the majority of them are actually part of other words like everyone, everybody, etc. I am such a dork sometimes.Print and dissect the draft. I mean crucify it!! Every piece of it is scrutinised.I have totally re-written some chapters of Beyond the Lies. I am so happy with the re-write. If I’m not happy with it, it won’t go out. A lesson learned the hard way.Once all the amendments are done, and I’m only a third of the way through Beyond the Lies at present, I go back and repeat steps 1 to 4.Final read through and my reader edits too.Then I may send it to the publisher.Step 8 will only happen when I am 100% satisfied – I am my harshest critic and I like it that way.

SCRIPTWRITING On top of all the editing work, I have my other projects I am working on, two of which involve scriptwriting. I want to add this to my skills, have another string to my bow and another option to pursue when the boys don’t need me anymore (Haha).

Out of the Depths of Despair has been retitled Charity. One word encompasses so many aspects of this work. Intrigued? Good x

This week I don’t have enough hours to cover the work I want to do but I will keep plugging away. I will be successful, I WILL! I’m working hard for our future, hopefully being a great Mum and role model along with way.

I really do believe that everything I have done in my past lives, have led to where I am today and I am NOW in the right place, doing the right thing. Being an author isn’t just about writing. You need so many more skills. What I have learned is to adapt my previous experience to my new career and this includes:

WritingEditing  ProofreadingMarketingLegal/contract workCustomer servicesPlanning and preparationPublic speakingResilienceTime managementSheer hard work and determinationWeb designSocial media managementBloggingChief negotiator, diplomat, fixerPA, receptionist, tea maker (most important job of all!)
I’m not special, I just don’t give up but boy do I really do all this ? No wonder I'm exhausted