Pam Charles's Blog, page 14

Great Mums make the perfect role models

The greatest VOLUNTARY (in most cases) job in the world. The most influential job in the world. The most rewarding job in the world!! Never, ever underestimate what YOU can achieve as a Mum – the ultimate role model! Happy Mother’s Day to you all, everywhere in the world. Being a Mum (or Mom) is the BEST JOB IN THE WORLD!




 Junior Sport
Someone said to me this week that a bad volunteer is better than having no volunteer. Really what planet do we live on? You wouldn’t ask King Herod to babysit would you????

Is a bad volunteer better than NO volunteer?  Where junior sport is concerned NO NO NO! It is a question of standards and safety and maintaining those high standards. DBS checks (the replacement for CRB checks) do not assess the suitability of a person to volunteer around young people. These are some examples of what I have witnessed over the years of being involved in junior sport:
Parents assaulting players when the players are childrenVerbal abuse of referees by parentsA coach being called a paedophile by an opposition playerTwo coaches physically fighting on the pitch.Mass brawl including players and parentsA coach telling under 8s they were a disgrace and he was ashamed of them just because they didn’t win a game.Parent threatening to kick an opposition players (a child) head in because he tackled their sonCoaches teaching under 10s to sledge the opposition.Players biting other playersPolice called following a parent attacking a child The amount of parents that complain that they are having to suffer standing on the touchlines when they could be doing other things!! Really?? There’s nothing I love more than watching my boys having fun.
These are ACTUAL events I have witnessed over ten years of being involved in junior sport. The shocking thing is the majority of the incidents have not actually involved the children playing the sport. The majority of the incidents have been coaches, touchline managers, club officials all of which are also PARENTS. How about leading by example? 

My son has been racially abused and targeted by teams on so many occasions. Whilst its heart breaking to go through I have always trusted the disciplinary processes to deal with the matters. Sadly, for whatever reason some people are allowed to continue with their abuse without action being taken against them. I think I have a theory for this. Volunteers are needed for sport so anything practically goes. THAT IS NOT RIGHT.

We all sign up to the Respect campaign – we have players, parents and officials codes of conduct yet very little is done when things go wrong. It is time we weeded out the trouble causers and say ‘thank you but goodbye’. That is when you truly get a terrific junior sport environment. We should have a zero tolerance approach to any kind of bullying but especially from adults on children. We should be checking if people are suitable to be role models for children. I see so many adults absolutely knocking children’s confidence and not building them up. There are so many terrific volunteers who work tirelessly, selflessly to provide a safe, happy and nurturing environment but that is undermined by those who refuse to follow the rules or put the children first. Many terrific volunteers walk away because they won't get involved in the loutish behaviour.

It is fabulously rewarding to be a volunteer and the majority of people who get involved work tirelessly and really do put the CHILDREN first. However, there is a small minority that spoil junior sport and prevent children from flourishing in what should be THEIR environment.

As the new rugby league season starts, I ask, NO I beg that people just behave themselves. These two images appeared on Facebook this week and they perfectly sum up how I feel about junior sport.
LET THEM PLAY AND HAVE FUN!


I also ask junior clubs, the league management and the governing bodies to remember not everyone is cut out to be a suitable role model for children OR even work around children. A zero tolerance approach will push the sport forward and make it available to every child.


If you would like to volunteer, please ask yourself if you can follow the guidelines set down by the sport, if you have the right attitude to work with young people, if can you inspire young people to flourish AND more important of all, can you ensure children HAVE FUN!

We had our launch night for the Academy on Friday and the presentation reminded me of why I love rugby league and why the rugby league family is so important to me. The sport has given me so many memorable moments in my life. Wes begged me to let him play the sport and I did. Look where it has led to. Sheffield Eagles is a wonderfully, family orientated club with the right ethos that fits us as a family. The sport isn’t just about what happens on the pitch, it’s how my young boy becomes a respectful, fully grounded and considerate human being. That is why I want my boys to be in the sport and why I have fought tooth and nail to ensure the sport is not blighted by bad behaviour from adults that should, quite frankly know better. Be the one that your child is proud to have on the touchline. Be the one that sets the example for fair play and sporting behaviour. 

I'll put the soap box away now


Mid-week, I had a great chat with someone who doesn’t really know my life story and how I became a writer. It was great because, without them knowing, they inspired me to keep going just by their own enthusiasm and encouragement. 

It’s tough being a single parent especially when it was not by choice. You constantly question whether you are doing the right thing. Speaking to this person and sitting in the Academy meeting on Friday, gave me such reassurance that I am absolutely doing the right thing. Then, yesterday came the ultimate affirmation. Lucas gave me a cuddle and said thank you. I asked him what the thank you was for and he said it was for being a great Mum, a best friend and someone that listens to him and stands up for him. He said, "you lifted the weight off my shoulders." He always knows how to reduce me to a quivering wreck. He also made me a video clip of his favourite moments together. Truly inspiring. NO MORE DOUBTS.

Writing

I’ve done so much this week, focusing on editing Beyond the Lies. I’ve also decided to have a go at writing a screenplay rather than a book. I have a manual and some free software. I’ll let you know how I get on.

I’ve also found a Masters course at the local university. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Beyond the Past is selling well. You can read the 1st three chapters FREE here. Links to buy the book are:

Pegasus Publishers
Amazon UK
Kindle
Amazon US

Or you can order from your local bookshop. The ISBN number is : 978-1-84386-789-0

Lots of work to do this week and a plan for once! Wonder if the plan will be followed, I doubt it!

Have a great week and enjoy every moment of your life. If you are lucky enough to be a Mum (Mom), give yourself a huge pat on the back and have a great day. You are simply the best role models your children could ask for.






 


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Happy Mother's Day

The greatest VOLUNTARY (in most cases) job in the world. The most influential job in the world. The most rewarding job in the world!! Never, ever underestimate what YOU can achieve as a Mum – the ultimate role model! Happy Mother’s Day to you all, everywhere in the world. Being a Mum (or Mom) is the BEST JOB IN THE WORLD!




 Junior Sport
Someone said to me this week that a bad volunteer is better than having no volunteer. Really what planet do we live on? You wouldn’t ask King Herod to babysit would you????

Is a bad volunteer better than NO volunteer?  Where junior sport is concerned NO NO NO! It is a question of standards and safety and maintaining those high standards. DBS checks (the replacement for CRB checks) do not assess the suitability of a person to volunteer around young people. These are some examples of what I have witnessed over the years of being involved in junior sport:
Parents assaulting players when the players are childrenVerbal abuse of referees by parentsA coach being called a paedophile by an opposition playerTwo coaches physically fighting on the pitch.Mass brawl including players and parentsA coach telling under 8s they were a disgrace and he was ashamed of them just because they didn’t win a game.Parent threatening to kick an opposition players (a child) head in because he tackled their sonCoaches teaching under 10s to sledge the opposition.Players biting other playersPolice called following a parent attacking a child The amount of parents that complain that they are having to suffer standing on the touchlines when they could be doing other things!! Really?? There’s nothing I love more than watching my boys having fun.
These are ACTUAL events I have witnessed over ten years of being involved in junior sport. The shocking thing is the majority of the incidents have not actually involved the children playing the sport. The majority of the incidents have been coaches, touchline managers, club officials all of which are also PARENTS. How about leading by example? 

My son has been racially abused and targeted by teams on so many occasions. Whilst its heart breaking to go through I have always trusted the disciplinary processes to deal with the matters. Sadly, for whatever reason some people are allowed to continue with their abuse without action being taken against them. I think I have a theory for this. Volunteers are needed for sport so anything practically goes. THAT IS NOT RIGHT.

We all sign up to the Respect campaign – we have players, parents and officials codes of conduct yet very little is done when things go wrong. It is time we weeded out the trouble causers and say ‘thank you but goodbye’. That is when you truly get a terrific junior sport environment. We should have a zero tolerance approach to any kind of bullying but especially from adults on children. We should be checking if people are suitable to be role models for children. I see so many adults absolutely knocking children’s confidence and not building them up. There are so many terrific volunteers who work tirelessly, selflessly to provide a safe, happy and nurturing environment but that is undermined by those who refuse to follow the rules or put the children first. Many terrific volunteers walk away because they won't get involved in the loutish behaviour.

It is fabulously rewarding to be a volunteer and the majority of people who get involved work tirelessly and really do put the CHILDREN first. However, there is a small minority that spoil junior sport and prevent children from flourishing in what should be THEIR environment.

As the new rugby league season starts, I ask, NO I beg that people just behave themselves. These two images appeared on Facebook this week and they perfectly sum up how I feel about junior sport.
LET THEM PLAY AND HAVE FUN!


I also ask junior clubs, the league management and the governing bodies to remember not everyone is cut out to be a suitable role model for children OR even work around children. A zero tolerance approach will push the sport forward and make it available to every child.


If you would like to volunteer, please ask yourself if you can follow the guidelines set down by the sport, if you have the right attitude to work with young people, if can you inspire young people to flourish AND more important of all, can you ensure children HAVE FUN!

We had our launch night for the Academy on Friday and the presentation reminded me of why I love rugby league and why the rugby league family is so important to me. The sport has given me so many memorable moments in my life. Wes begged me to let him play the sport and I did. Look where it has led to. Sheffield Eagles is a wonderfully, family orientated club with the right ethos that fits us as a family. The sport isn’t just about what happens on the pitch, it’s how my young boy becomes a respectful, fully grounded and considerate human being. That is why I want my boys to be in the sport and why I have fought tooth and nail to ensure the sport is not blighted by bad behaviour from adults that should, quite frankly know better. Be the one that your child is proud to have on the touchline. Be the one that sets the example for fair play and sporting behaviour. 

I'll put the soap box away now


Mid-week, I had a great chat with someone who doesn’t really know my life story and how I became a writer. It was great because, without them knowing, they inspired me to keep going just by their own enthusiasm and encouragement. 

It’s tough being a single parent especially when it was not by choice. You constantly question whether you are doing the right thing. Speaking to this person and sitting in the Academy meeting on Friday, gave me such reassurance that I am absolutely doing the right thing. Then, yesterday came the ultimate affirmation. Lucas gave me a cuddle and said thank you. I asked him what the thank you was for and he said it was for being a great Mum, a best friend and someone that listens to him and stands up for him. He said, "you lifted the weight off my shoulders." He always knows how to reduce me to a quivering wreck. He also made me a video clip of his favourite moments together. Truly inspiring. NO MORE DOUBTS.

Writing

I’ve done so much this week, focusing on editing Beyond the Lies. I’ve also decided to have a go at writing a screenplay rather than a book. I have a manual and some free software. I’ll let you know how I get on.

I’ve also found a Masters course at the local university. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Beyond the Past is selling well. You can read the 1st three chapters FREE here. Links to buy the book are:

Pegasus Publishers
Amazon UK
Kindle
Amazon US

Or you can order from your local bookshop. The ISBN number is : 978-1-84386-789-0

Lots of work to do this week and a plan for once! Wonder if the plan will be followed, I doubt it!

Have a great week and enjoy every moment of your life. If you are lucky enough to be a Mum (Mom), give yourself a huge pat on the back and have a great day. You are simply the best role models your children could ask for.






 


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International Women's Day ... we can all do IT

I don’t even know where to start with this week’s blog. My mid-week blog was the most personal one I have done, yet is was by far the most popular. So how do I top it?
Well, first of all a huge big thank you for all your support for the boys and me. I wrote it to get the truth out there and stop all the lies. I love rugby league and the rugby league community. It is an amazing family to be part of but like all families there are always the few jealous, vindictive members that want to spoil it for everyone else. These are the people that should be ashamed of themselves, bringing the fabulous game into disrepute. Children in junior sport should ALWAYS come first and some adults should only be allowed in that environment in the hope that they learn from the ethics of the sport. 
Wes is lucky enough to be playing for a truly professional, family orientated rugby league club. If he makes a successful career out of it, then it will be a bonus but not the end of the world if he doesn’t. He has, with my guidance, put himself in a very strong position not just in the sport, but in his academic success too. He is in the driving seat and from where I am sitting, in pole position.
International Women’s Day Hopefully, one day we won’t need this day. Equality is about being equal, not superior.  This weekend I watched the BBC film, Pride. The film is set during the 1980s miner’s strike, a subject very close to my heart. It follows the story of the support, financial and physical, given to the miners from the Lesbian and Gay community. It is an incredibly powerful and moving film for me for many reasons. Firstly, it brought back very strong, deep rooted feelings of injustice and wrongdoing by the government on ordinary, hardworking communities. Secondly, it showed the blatant bigotry, prejudice, injustice and inequality of our society. Sadly, my gut feeling is we have gone backwards in the last five years fuelled by biased media and phobia driven by and under the excuse of austerity. It saddens me that I feel I am living in 1980s Britain again.
We shouldn’t need to fight for equality, for the right to earn a living for a decent, equal pay but we still do have to. Keep fighting!
I despise any person, man or woman that puts people down due to their own life choices. It says far more about the aggressor’s inability to accept and embrace diversity and equality. After all, we are all just human beings renting a space for a short time on this planet. This is how I see all of us…


I celebrate International Women’s Day because I’m proud to stand up for equality and being a fair human being.
Life Goals
Now I have found my voice and my life, I want to pursue all of MY ambitions. My next goal is to achieve a PhD then go on to hopefully become an academic at university. I love research, books, knowledge and learning new things. I’ve always looked up to academic staff in awe but never felt I was good enough to be up there with them, even though I reached the last nine for funding on my first attempt in 2011. The time is now right for me to have another go. NEVER GIVE UP!
Writing
It’s funny but the busier I am, the more I get done. This is what I’ve been up to this week, in between hospital appointments, rugby training, home management and all the other things us single parents do.
SHORT STORYThis is for a competition. It is written, edited and ready for submission this week. You have to be in it to win it.
OUT OF THE DEPTHS OF DESPAIRThis is a new draft I am working on. I don’t want to give too much away other than to say this is a mystery/romance and I have fallen in love with the main characters. Very strong feeling about this one.
FROM BEHIND THE PAINTED SMILEThis is the next crime novel including DCI Fisher, following on from Beyond the Lies. It is set in Wetherby. Four unexplained deaths lead to an unexpected psychopathic killer. Watch this space!
BEYOND THE LIESAs you know this is the sequel to Beyond the Past. I honestly think I have put myself under too much pressure with this sequel. I’ve spent too much time worrying about it. There was something missing AND I’ve found it, STARING me in the face! Well actually, it woke me up in the middle of the night. Now I can now change the draft, well after the PhD proposal, short story, Mummy duties – I think you get the idea!
I finally, truly believe I have my life and more importantly, myself now. I’m ready to kick on and even, hopefully meet my soul mate. It’s taken forty plus years, two failed relationships and listening to people telling me ‘not a chance’, ‘you can’t’, ‘you won’t’, ‘you’re an idiot’, ‘know your place’, for me to realise ‘I can, I will, just watch me…’
The balance of power has shifted and I did that! You can too…





 


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Setting the record straight – Caring Mum NOT Sociopath!

This is a very personal post but needs to be said. If you are lucky enough to have children you will know how important it is to protect them. Children are precious human beings and should be treated fairly and with dignity. I am writing this post to highlight that I am not the sociopath I have been labelled to be and that many people have been drawn into a lie.
I have tried to ignore it for the best part of a year but every time I write something, I am subjected to further abuse and gossip. People locally and especially in the lovely market town have been told I am some sort of stalker or sociopath. People have blocked me on social media and believed the lies about me and it has caused so much distress. I can’t go into town without someone making me feel like I have done something wrong. All these rumours have been started and spread by one woman and made much worse by the people who accept what she says without foundation or hard evidence. People who have never met me, have already formed a negative opinion of me.
It all started when Wes was offered a scholarship place. Prior to that we were all friends or so I thought. 
I put out a request on Facebook for a final reader of my debut novel. She answered and said she would be happy to do it. Against my absolute instinct I agreed but that was fine. The book had been through three edits and proof readers. Days passed and I heard nothing. In the end I emailed her to check how she was getting on. My Mum was present during the conversation. The woman said and I quote, ‘If I had a red pen I would scribble all over it.’ I wasn’t surprised at all at the reaction and almost accepted this would be the answer, before it came. Instincts told me something was not quite right. That was fine. I explained that I was confident the book had been edited and proof read sufficiently by professionals and not to worry about it. I suggested she waited until it came out on the screen. As far as I was concerned that was the end of it. How wrong I was. I carried on as usual and pressed ahead with the book publication.
The rugby presentation night came and it was a fiasco. Apparently sitting with my parents rather than her was a direct result of me being annoyed about the comments of the book. It couldn’t have been further from the truth. All night the ‘group’ were coming over asking if Wes was okay even though they had already spoken with him. It was like they wanted him NOT to be okay. My parents were disgusted by their behaviour. The same coaches had already told him he was not good enough to make it and was only an average player without the coaches’ son at his side. When this was addressed later in front of the junior secretary, the coach denied EVER doing this even though my parents had witnessed it too. It was almost as if they did not expect us to turn up and was shocked when we did. Every training session, Wes was alienated by the coach and was constantly asked when would he be leaving? We had no intention of leaving. Yet, at Hoyland Vikings, during the game, the coach shouted to all the players ‘follow Wes’ lead’! Yet, according to them, he wasn’t pulling his weight. The poor kid didn’t know whether he was coming or going.
Then the abuse really started. We were due to go to Center Parcs with the group but I was ill with Menieres. Stress contributes to the illness and combined with stormy weather it was really debilitating.  I explained we couldn’t go to Center Parcs because of my illness and gave good notice to sort out a refund or someone else going in our place. I offered to find someone to take our place but that was declined. Any alternative I offered was met with opposition. I wrote to Center Parcs but I wasn’t the lead name, they wouldn’t speak to me. When I approached the woman she said she had spoken to Center Parcs and they wouldn’t help. When I spoke to them again, they did confirm there was no insurance taken out and they had not had any enquiries. 
Little did I know that whilst I was receiving lovely emails in response to mine, this woman was going onto social media under an alias and absolutely trashing me. I have copies of all the tweets. Just by chance, a mutual friend told me to look at a Twitter account and said that may be of interest to me. They also told me these group of women were intending to ‘break me’ at Center Parcs – what did this mean? Apparently it involved alcohol! Perhaps spiking drinks? With my medication and being alone with two children this would have been ridiculously dangerous. When I looked at the twitter account the abuse was devastating. These women were supposed to be my friends. I was accused of lying, of faking my illness and other things. She even trashed my sons. All the tweets are available for everyone to see. They have since been deleted but copies of them have been kept and can be retrieved by twitter. The timing of the tweets coincide with the email timings.
Obviously there was no way we could go to Center Parcs once these were uncovered. As a woman on my own protecting my two children, there is no way I would put them in harms way. I offered to pay the balance of the account but she wouldn’t take the money. With hindsight I should have just paid it but I was discharged from the debt by her email. She went on Twitter and told everyone I owed her money. She also said she hadn’t sued me for the money because of the kids even though I had an email confirming she didn’t want the money. Thus legally ending the matter. Unfortunately this was not the end of it and we received abuse usually after training or game day. Wes turned up to training and the matches. Twice they tried to get him thrown out of the scholarship but we had kept them fully informed of how we were being treated and they were really supportive.
I saw the woman in town and didn’t speak to her, simply because I was not going to have a blow up in the centre of the busy shopping area. She text me later and I called her out on the tweets. Again copy of the text messages are available. She denied any knowledge of ever writing anything about me at all until I told her the account name and the tweets in question. Suddenly she became the victim. She said it was her way of venting yet the emails had never indicated there was anything to vent about. The abuse then became even worse. I had already blocked her, reported her to twitter but none of it was doing any good.
One evening, after training she tweeted that a spoof account had been set up in my name. I reported it to the police. The next morning all these tweets and information had been deleted from her account. New accounts were set up. That was the end of it I thought.
Oh no the abuse continued. The woman told everyone to block me on social media and took to social media to say her business had been affected by it all and she was suing me. Prior to this, she had posted a facebook status advising the business was quiet due to her concentrating on renovations of the house! 
They desperately tried to get Wes out of the team but he was not quitting. This woman even posted a team photo on her facebook page EXCLUDING Wes from the team. We were disgusted at the blatant attempt to intimidate and single out a child. This is against ALL child protection rules. We had done nothing wrong. When I tweeted they wouldn’t get us out of the club, they decided to get the club involved. The club did not investigate anything. We had a meeting with the junior secretary and coach and Wes was asked to stay. The junior secretary asked Wes to stay! The junior secretary complained that Wes had not been passing on information from scholarship training that the team would benefit from. Whenever he mentioned scholarship he was talked over or ignored. After discussing the situation with scholarship and Wes, we emailed that we were staying. Wes did not want to be pushed out.
I then emailed the junior secretary to advise her of Wes’ extraordinary behaviour at the Wyke game when he almost certainly prevented a club fine. Wyke had praised Wes’ behaviour that day. We thought everything was okay and turned up for training and matches. It had been agreed the only person who would contact the scholarship would be the junior secretary.
The woman’s abusive tweets rumbled on. She led people to believe I was stalking her and got people to block me even though they didn’t even know me. I had serving officers assisting in this offence and even a prime time journalist. On top of this, the information was passed through the town and I was treated unfairly by people who believed she was the victim and I was this crazy sociopathic liar. She even discussed whether DVLA were aware of my illness!! That is how personal and scary it got for me. 
Four days before Wes was due to take his GCSEs, on the Friday evening I tweeted what a great, peaceful week we had had. An hour later I received an email from the junior secretary of the rugby club advising me Wes was no longer welcome on the team as he had not played the game the week before but turned up to watch it. You see, he wasn’t allowed to play that game for his amateur club. That weekend he had taken part in the scholarship game and had come off injured with a bust nose. These are the governing body rules:


Had he have played he would have been banned and fined by the governing body. In spite of Wes ringing the junior secretary and advising of her of the rules, she still saw fit to return his playing card to the governing body without a disciplinary hearing or a right to answer the absurd and very wrong allegations. Interestingly, there was a status on facebook later that evening that confirmed the junior secretary had acted upon advice from this woman. I don’t think either the woman or the junior secretary thought about the consequences of their actions on a teenage boy. Thankfully Wes is level headed and has a great support network around him. I dread to think what this sort of pressure from adults could do to another child.
The scholarship advised they would help us appeal against the expulsion but we felt four days before his exams didn’t leave us time to deal with the matter in a way that would not affect his studies. We had to concede.
I reported this to the sports club via the website and never had a response. I sent a copy of confirmation of the RFL rules again to the club recently and again I have not had the courtesy of a reply. 
I want people to know that this woman is a mother and a child welfare officer who failed to protect my child, culminating in his inappropriate and illegal expulsion, four days before his main exams. There was absolutely no justification for lying about a child and expecting a child to break governing body rules. If he had broken the rules, would they have expelled him from the club for breaking the rules? It does make you wonder.
In addition to her business account, she also has three alias accounts. The names have not been put on here as I don’t want her to receive trolling like she has done to me. All these accounts have been blocked but she somehow can still read my stuff. The only reason I have checked these accounts is to gather evidence for the police and the defamation of character case. I have followed all the police advice. It’s not a question of stalking this woman, it’s a question of collecting evidence for the case.
The abuse still continues and it has to stop. Whenever I write a blog, tweet or update a status, apparently it is having a go at her. IT IS NOT. My blog is about me and my new life as an author. I have evidence of all her trolling for anyone to freely look through. I have nothing to hide at all. I have three public accounts on twitter @beyondthepast1 @charlespr2d2 @bblue_eyes. No tweets have been deleted.
The insults, lies and defamatory statements have to stop. The fact that people’s attitude around the town has changed towards me is devastating especially on the false words of a woman that cannot bring herself to say sorry for being caught out lying. The advice I received from the police confirmed that very often once truth is exposed, further abuse follows. How right they were. I suspect this will raise the threat level of abuse again but I need the truth to be out there.
If the lies about me don’t stop I will have no alternative but to seek recourse. I don’t want to bring negative publicity to the town I love. I do want an apology, not for me but for Wes.
The truth is I love the town and most of the people. Wes was deprived of staying with the team he had dedicated his time to because of this stupid vendetta that started when he EARNED his place in the scholarship. Lucas was just starting to play rugby league and was deprived of playing. In addition they have withheld his registration card so until two years have passed, he cannot play rugby league. How bad is that?  An 8 year old! Two boys, who love a sport, deprived of playing it locally because of one woman and her vindictiveness. Thankfully the football club is run very professionally and encourages participation in the sport.
I really didn’t believe adults still behaved like they were in high school until all of this. How wrong and naïve I am. How sad this all started when a boy worked hard enough to be recognised for his talents. 
All I ask is that people make judgements on other people not from gossip or misplaced malice but from facts and from meeting that person face to face.
Best wishes

If it’s good enough for Madge, it’s good enough for me…

We all fall down from time to time, I should know my excuse is not a black cape but Meniere’s. I didn’t see the Brit Awards live, I was doing my proud Mummy duties in Sheffield for my rising rugby star. Obviously I heard about it before I got the chance to see it.
It amazes me that some people can actually suggest the whole incident at the Brit Awards was a publicity stunt – like our Madge needs anymore publicity – please! The woman is fifty six years old and simply incredible. I was never really a fan when she burst on the scene in the early 1980s. I was very much into Queen, Dexys Midnight Runners, Soft Cell and Human League et al. Now I appreciate her as an artist and a woman. Her longevity in the business is not a fluke, it’s down to sheer hard work and determination to succeed and that, I can certainly relate to.
If only I had had the courage and support back then in 1982 to pursue writing as my career. BUT, and it’s is a pretty big BUT. I don’t think I would have written as I write now. Life experience is invaluable and really adds depth to writing – Sam Smith is testament to that! I also had not read enough books back in 1982 although one book I read back then did have a profound effect on my life. On the 29 August 1982 Ingrid Bergman died on her sixty seventh birthday. I read one of the many biographies that had been written about the formidable woman. She was inspiring. Unfortunately I didn’t have the confidence, the belief, the courage or the support to follow my dreams and I did what most of us do and accepted a life that wasn’t me. 
Meniere's Syndrome Meniere’s changed all that and I am so glad, in a warped way, it happened to me. This week has been a bad week for me – illness plus Meniere’s makes for a very frustrating and depressing time. It makes me question what I am doing and why. I succumb to other peoples' nonsense that I should get a ‘proper’ job and that would end all my problems along with silencing the nasties. IT WOULDN’T. All it would do is put me back in a situation where I am forced to take time off for Meniere’s or for the children when they are sick. It would mean Wes would not be able to be in the academy at Sheffield. The fact is, unless employers change their attitude towards unseen illnesses, flexible childcare and working Mums, working for someone is not a viable option at this time. The bottom line is I don’t want to work for anyone else. Twenty years of lining someone else’s pockets is enough for me. It might be hard now but to achieve success we have to make sacrifices. I’m not giving up in spite of outside pressure to do so. If the haters can’t understand that, then that’s on them not me. I want to inspire people to not give up and have a go even when it seems impossible, you can find a way if you want it badly enough. I’m starting with inspiring my children.
I have some bridges to build this week because my illness has prevented me from doing things I should have done but I can’t help that. I have to accept Meniere’s is a debilitating illness that can strike at any time. I control it the best I can but so many do not or DON’T WANT to understand the illness. Each time it strikes, I fall… just like Madonna. Each time I recover, I get back up, dust myself down… just like Madonna. Sadly that is where the comparison ends!
Giving in to pressure and giving up IS NOT AN OPTION. Don’t you dare even consider giving up on your dreams!
Writing
Yesterday I sat and wrote 6242 words and typed them up too. It was the most successful day of writing so far. There’s nothing more inspiring than a pep talk from your children reminding you why you started and more importantly why you should continue. Support is double edged and priceless when it is.
This latest draft is different from the other projects I am working on. There is an element of mystery in the story but the book is essentially about how small actions can change many lives in an instant. I am writing this blog quickly so I can head back to this book, that’s how motivated I am about this story.
Beyond the Lies
Sorry to all those readers who are eagerly awaiting the sequel. I wasn’t happy with some of the draft so I am in the process of the edit. I promise you it will be worth it.
Beyond the Past

Rumour has it Russell Crowe may be interested in buying a stake in Leeds United. His money would be better spent making Beyond the Past a film especially as we share a common love for rugby league which provides the backdrop to the story - #justsaying.

The first three chapters are available FREE on my website
PhD
When I finished my degree I was short listed for PhD funding. Out of hundreds of applications I got down to the last nine but alas tripped at the last hurdle – bit like Madonna. Anyway, funding is available again and I have decided to go for it. It is something very close to my heart and a personal goal of mine. I am confident I can do this on top of everything – sleep will be the first to be forfeited!
I look back on last week and being ill didn’t actually slow me down that much. I need to accept I am not wonder woman, I have two fabulous boys to guide through life and all the mundane stuff for the house, finances, etc and I still managed to do all the above. It was also Wes’ birthday this week. Where did seventeen years go? I am super proud of him and the young man he has turned into.

It is time to stop giving myself a hard time and stop listening to the negative people who probably only do a fraction of what I do in a week anyway. 
It really doesn’t matter how many times you fall, only the rising up COUNTS.
RIP Mr Spock
One of the icons of my generation passed away this week. RIP Leonard Nimoy. You helped inspire a generation of space lovers.
During writing this, I have watched Liverpool FC beat Manchester City. What a match! Great game, great goals but most of all fabulous football. It was a HUGE result and gave me goose bumps.
Finally, I want to leave a thought or a plea with you. Just remember, 



Everyone makes mistakes but few own them.  
OWN YOUR MISTAKES, YOU ARE ONLY HUMAN.
Have a fabulous week everyone.




 


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Plot & Character Development, oh and a forgotten FIVE letter word…

Sorry does seem to be the hardest word…for some. When Elton sang those words, “Sorry seems to be the hardest word” I don’t think he would have anticipated just how rare the word would become in the English language. Why is it, when people do wrong and do get caught red handed, they don’t hold their hands up, admit it’s a fair cop and say that underused word – SORRY? Just pause for moment and think of all the recent wrongdoings – Hillsborough, Rotherham, expenses, tax avoidance, and NHS problems – wouldn’t the world be a better place if we just held our hands up and said sorry. It may not make everything right but it would be a start and it is NEVER too late to start.



It totally sickens me that instead of saying sorry, some people try to cover up THEIR mistakes with abuse and blaming the victim. Even worse though are those people who decide to share their wrongdoing by bringing innocent people into the situation, who in good faith believe the lies because the person is so convincing or they don’t know the victim. People can be very persuasive and manipulative when they want to be. However, lies can only be sustained for a short space of time and ultimately the truth comes out. I’ve brought the boys up to understand that making mistakes is perfectly okay and part of growing up. As human beings we learn from our mistakes – or at least the majority of us do. BUT a lie or cover up is far, far worse than the initial mistake.

I found this article a while ago that might explain why some people find it hard to say that five letter word. It is worth a read. I don’t know why people can’t admit they’re wrong? I admit if I get things wrong – the boys will testify to that. I’m not immune to making mistakes but I will say sorry, if it is warranted.

http://thenarcissisticlife.com/the-narcissist-blames-you/

Do yourself and human nature a favour – stop lying, stop hurling abuse, admit your mistakes, say sorry and move on. Quite often an apology is enough. If not legal action will rectify the situation. It really is not hard to say sorry.

Plot and Character Development
In writing, the part I struggle with the most is … CHOOSING NAMES. Pretty ironic when both my boys are named from the movies. Wesley is named after the cheeky character in Moonlight Bay and Lucas George – well I’m sure you can guess who he is named after! Yes, the formidable George Lucas who shaped and massively influenced my obsession with space exploration. I still get goose bumps when I think of the day back in 2001 when I stood on the viewing platform at Kennedy Space Center. Sorry, mind wondered there a bit. Anyway, my nickname is also R2D2, apparently because I have no legs – I do have but short ones!


Anyhow, I struggle with character names at the first idea stage. When I have a new idea, I need to scribble it down as quickly as possible. Menieres has resulted in my memory not being what it used to be so it’s important not to interrupt my thought process with trying to think of names. So at this stage, the characters become man1, man2, woman1 – you get the gist. Once the whole idea is formulated and on paper, I can go back through and take out what doesn’t work, add in new ideas and details, and add character names. The names are so hard – one of the villains in Beyond the Lies was originally Jimmy Saxon but there was already a James in the storyline so he became Tommy because it sounded a rogue name – sorry if I’ve offended any innocent Tommy’s out there.


When selecting names, I try to match the name with the type of character I want them to evolve into or if I need a multi personality character, I choose a name like Catherine so it can take the form of Catherine, Cath, Cathy, Kate or Katie. I have no idea if any of this is making sense or ‘normal’ but by now you know I don’t do ‘normal’.


The character names may change again once the rough draft is completed. This is because I may decide that the character has evolved into someone they were not at the initial ‘naming’ stage so I will change it if it is not right. I am sure you are reading this thinking does she ever finish writing and editing – yes I do, only when I am happy with the outcome. I am not afraid to put my work through the mill, I didn’t with Beyond the Past and that is a lesson learned.




Plot development is part contrived and part as it pans out. With Beyond the Past I had no plan, nothing. I just simply wrote. However, I am a planner. I’ve been organised all my life especially in my former life as an Insurance Broker. I have a professional attitude to writing and want to take it forward and learn. I love to learn. So I have now developed a system of planning and developing an early plot. To be fair, the plot CAN, DOES and almost certainly WILL change during the course of the first draft.


Plots and ideas can come from anywhere. For example, the plot for one of my books developed from driving to school one afternoon. I had been in the house and heard the sirens and helicopters but it is quite a common occurrence where we live – I don’t think it’s any different to anywhere else these days. Anyway, when I drove to school, an alleyway was cordoned off by the Police. Apparently someone had been stabbed. That got me thinking, what would happen if your DNA somehow was found in that alleyway and you had no alibi. Hence the start of an idea. By the time I had travelled one mile I had the twist and turns of a plot in my head. This was the occasion when I wrote the idea on the back of a Tesco receipt – I have small handwriting thankfully. Now I keep a notebook with me at all times!


As you can see, ideas can come from anywhere and develop into a plot line. From there, the character names are devised and the first, very rough draft begins. I’m actually writing two drafts at the moment – ambitious but I love both storylines and they are very different. I am also editing Beyond the Lies and marketing Beyond the Past. Busy but happy.


This week, I am more focused than ever and eager to move forward with my plans. I have lots of letters to write, meetings to attend and in between them I will be continuing to write. If you have ever fancied writing, have a go. What do you have to lose?

Have a great and safe week. Be kind, thoughtful and look after yourself. Don’t forget I’m here to chat, just use the links below:




 


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How do you write?

I know it’s been a good week when I have written my blog by Thursday and only have to edit it and post it on Sunday. I also have not one, but TWO new book ideas. How was your week?
I am always interested to learn how best-selling authors write, what their thought process is and what advice they give to aspiring authors like me. As you all know by now, I don’t do generic advice. We all are different and I LIKE DIFFERENT.
 So how Do I write?
With a pen! And paper of course.
Ideas
A book starts with a tiny little idea usually when I least expect it – in the middle of the night or driving or sitting outside school waiting for the boys. Driving has its obvious problems in scribbling down the idea! I’m always scared I will forget it before I get chance to put the idea down on paper – a curse of Menieres I’m afraid! In the very early days, outside school I have been known to write ideas on the back of Tesco receipts. Now I’m more organised and keep a notebook in the car and beside my bed.
Ideas can literally hit from anywhere – a conversation in a supermarket, a news story even a line from a singing I am belting out whilst alone in the car – yep, much easier alone than listening to the boys begging me to stop, whilst their ears start to bleed! Some of the ideas will never make print but some will absolutely develop into full blown stories. Two ideas this week have really caught my imagination – two at once! Like buses! I am equally excited about them so much so I’ve put other projects on hold to concentrate on these.
Synopsis and Characters
Once I have an idea, I scribble it down without character names using things like Man 1, Man 2, Woman 1. Girl 1 – you get the idea! This is because I can’t think of new names quickly enough to match the flow of the idea. Once I’ve written the draft synopsis, I go back and add the character names. By the time I have finished, I have a full written synopsis and character list. Then I can start my favourite part, writing the story.
The Draft
Drafts are rough and I mean VERY rough. I always write my drafts by hand. I write every day and sometimes all night too. The beauty of writing is being able to balance it between the boys’ needs although secretly I get very frustrated at having to break off for the school runs (shush don’t tell them!). 
I can write anywhere – car, cafes, restaurants, at rugby training. I don’t mind noise, I switch off and get into the plot. In fact, people often complain I have ignored them but I simply haven’t heard them. Having tinnitus has helped me to zone out noises otherwise I would be completely insane by now, although I am getting there slowly but surely!
Once the draft is completed, I walk away from it for at least one month, maybe longer if other projects come along. Beyond the Past was written in nine months, it was my first. Beyond the Lies has taken longer due to other projects and marketing work. As I have become more comfortable with my style and my new life, and taken advice from greats like Stephen King, I do intend now to aim to complete the first draft in three months. There’s nothing like a challenge to motivate you.
Nothing is ever perfect first time – remember that. No one ever needs to see your first draft. However, I am keeping my very first drafts of all my novels so I can amuse myself in later life.
Editing
My books go through several edits before I even consider letting anyone see them, apart from my sister who has seen the manuscripts in their roughest form.
I am very self-critical and harsh. I am my harshest critic! At least four edits are done before submission:

-          General read through checking continuity and plot-          Spelling/ grammar-          Plot edit – add some bites of intrigue, delete insignificant parts-          Fine detail edit-          Final read through before submissionOnly when I truly believe I have done the best I can do is it sent away. Oh, and I have my sister edit it too. 
I don’t care who you are and how critical you are, you still need a neutral pair of eyes.
Full details of my work can be found on my website. 

Links for Beyond the Past are on the top right hand side of this page.
EAT, WRITE, EDIT, REPEAT – NO SLEEP!!
How was your week?
This week, Wes went to London to an English Language conference. Armed with money, lunch and an anti-terrorist risk management strategy (I kid you not! Former Insurance Broker + neurotic mother + spy film addict = lecture!), he had an interesting time although the interest was not in the conference! Anyway he came back safe and sound and was not impressed by London at all! True Yorkshire Lad.
It was really heart-warming to hear how much a lovely, young lady is loving her new found interest in reading. She admitted she never realised how enjoyable it could be – a lesson for all of us.
This coming week is the half term break so I will work early, early mornings before the boys surface from their pits. I get more done in the school holidays. We play together but they have time to do their own thing and that is when I work. I am very lucky.
We are having a couple of days out in between jama days. We are going to see the Big 6 movie, I’ve heard it is excellent and then a day trip to the Bradford Industrial Museum. Lucas is currently studying Victorian Times at school so I thought I would take him as part of a holiday project we are doing. I haven’t been to the museum since I was at school, so I’m excited too. 
I hope you all survive half term, if it applies to you. Have a fabulous week and let me have your thoughts, I love receiving all of your comments. If you are thinking about having a go at writing – WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

p.s. I've left the soapbox at home this weekend - so many news stories that have rattled me but best calm down first - so the PINK soap box may make its return next week.


 


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How do you read?

I was going to give writing the blog a miss this week. The easiest things in the world include sitting and agreeing with everything someone else says or allowing people to walk all over you without redress. I hope you all know me by now to know that is not me at all.  By sheer compliance you lose your own identity and principles. I have strong beliefs and will call out injustice and lies. That is who I am. Ann Williams of the Hillsborough Justice Campaign taught me that, along with standing up for your children.

Whether people like it or not is irrelevant really. I decided when I became a parent that, no matter what happened, I would always listen to my children and fight their corner if they needed it. I’m not perfect but I am really proud of the relationship I have with the boys and they tell me everything, and yes make me blush at times! Maybe some information a mother shouldn’t know!

There will always be critics, even more so if you put yourself out there BUT stand by what you believe in. Wes reminded me of this when he was faced with a harsh lesson of inequality this week and he handled himself admirably and with so much dignity. People can lie and they do. People can slate you and they do. So what? It’s because they don’t understand your journey and their journey doesn’t compare to yours. I will continue to fight for the lies that have been told to be uncovered and retracted. The only people that disagree are those that have lied anyway. Stand by your own beliefs and convictions and you won’t go far wrong.

The wheels fell off my week last week - quite literally as my car had to be returned to the garage a number of times resulting in lost working hours which was incredibly frustrating, especially when the work I had done was pre-emptive work before anything did go wrong. The old saying ‘don’t fix it if it ain’t broken’ certainly applied. I almost blew a gasket, I mean ME not the car! Anyway by Wednesday lunchtime I was back on the road and happy.


How do you read?


I’ve taken a break from writing this week to spend time with the boys and to read. I did update my website which you can view here. Since starting to write, I have read less even though advice to new authors suggests you should read more. The trouble is while I’m reading, I’m not writing and while I’m writing, I’m not reading. And on it goes…

I’d be interested to know if any other authors changed the way they read books after they started writing themselves. My reading experience has totally changed. Not the books I choose to read or authors but the way I read them. I now have a greater appreciation of what goes into creating characters, plots, sub plots, the drafting, the re-writing and then the editing. I had not appreciated the amount of work that went into one book before now.

I appreciate the language used and the simpler the language, the more the admiration. It is a true art to draw people into a story with very simple languageI love the character development and often think how the author came across the character. Was it based upon someone they knew? Did the nasty, evil characters start as that or did it develop later? When I started writing Beyond the Past I didn’t have a sinister character, by the end of it I had half a dozen!I love the plot development and appreciate how hard it is to work that plot. I can see the pivotal moments and I do imagine if I had written the book, would I have thought of the same outcome.I am always looking for an underlying plot. Did the author write in the little clues and sub plots during the first draft or after they had written the ending?If it is a Stephen King, James Herbert or John Grisham book, I try to imagine if they had to force the words out or did they flow out in the same way as they did when they began writing. Does the writing show they struggled?
Yes, I really do think of all of this! It’s a wonder I actually manage to finish the book and understand its plot. Well actually, it is the authors themselves that keep me enthralled. I am in awe of their talent. The power of the word!
After I have read a book, I go back and look at readers’ reviews. Yes I am backward in more ways than one!! I don’t read reviews to determine whether I buy a book. I read it because it’s from one of my favourite authors or I like the sound of the blurb. Oh, or I like the book cover. Yes I do think the cover is important. That’s probably why I loved the cover of Beyond the Past the moment I received the proofs. It amuses me how we all have different interpretations of books. I will leave a HONEST review but won't slate or berate an author. That's not me. If I really don't like something I would rather not leave a review than knock someone's confidence.


I do have a kindle but there is nothing like the smell of a new book, holding it and turning the pages. I try to get as many tangible books as possible, finance permitting. I like to support my fellow authors especially now I know how blooming exhausting it is to write, market and for pittance!

I have just finished reading John Grisham The Summons. I love John Grisham, he is my go to writer when I need reassurance and comfort. Two days of living in the south states of the USA and I feel much better. I am determined to move down my reading list in 2015 and I have such a wide selection to choose from.

This is part of my current reading list:

John Bishop – How Did All this Happen?
Peter James – Not Dead Yet
Harry Leslie Smith - Harry’s Last Stand
Ann Cleeves – Dead Water
Laurence O’Bryan – Manhattan Puzzle
Benedict Martin – Charlie Robot
Berlie Doherty – Street Child
Stieg Larsson – The Girl who kicked the hornet’s nest
Stieg Larsson – The girl who played with fire
S J Watson – Before I go to sleep


I’m sure I have forgotten some but this is a start. Street Child is my youngest son’s current class reading. I like to read the books they are reading so I can help him with his homework plus he is so impressed when I can talk to him about it – extra brownie points for me!

Reading John Grisham this week made me realise how much I love reading and I am determined to read these books and more this year. After all I am entitled to a short break each day, aren’t I?


This week I’m going back to editing Beyond the Lies. Well, actually I am re-writing some sections of it. There is too much in it and parts of it I don’t like. I’ll let you know how combining writing and editing with reading other people’s work goes.


Let me know what you like to read…

Goodreads Competition Congratulations to Natasha Dowse in winning a signed copy of Beyond the Past. It is on its way to you. 


Let’s hope this week is less stressful than last week.  Very best wishes for the week ahead.





 


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Time to drop the labels - WE ARE ALL HUMAN BEINGS

Hindsight is a wonderful thing!
Do you know what? I should always go with my instincts. I wrote Beyond the Past as a romance then changed it half way through to a mystery then it was classed as a crime book, well actually romance/crime. I should have gone with my gut and classed it as a romance but you live and learn. I fell into the trap of listening to people who I thought were ‘experts’ in the book world. I’m not arrogant enough to think I know everything but I should trust my instincts.
This got me to thinking – AGAIN.
I hate genres, labels, categories or segregation. I’m sorry if that offends people in the world but I do. We are our own worst enemies. Who set the boundaries in the first place? Who said one particular book should be this way or that way and crime shouldn’t have romance in and romance shouldn’t have crime or mystery in? I must not have got that memo.
Why is it we are so obsessed with labelling everything? Not just books but people too. One thing that really drives me insane is, if we are an equal opportunity society, why do we ask for people’s religion, race and sexuality on forms? Surely by doing this you are immediately segregating people! If all is equal then it doesn’t matter. 
We need to stop trying to put everything in neat little boxes and labelling them. The books I write I want people to enjoy. I can honestly say I didn’t give the genre too much thought with this first book, I wish I had but when you don’t think labels are ‘the norm’ you don’t put them at the top of your priority list. However it is an extremely useful lesson I have learned and thank the reviewers for pointing it out. I will think carefully about the categories of my future books.
Over the years I believe we have become so set in being trained that everything has to belong to a certain group or they are out casts to society – ironically, another label! Just think about this for a moment. From the minute we are born we are labelled, through school - labelled, in work - labelled and even in death! 
When people talk to me about how society should be I politely ask them to explain to me ‘the norm’. Why do we constantly measure ourselves up against this ‘norm’. Why are we told to conform to the ‘norm’? Nothing good EVER comes out of trying to compare one person’s life with another. For example, I don’t drink, the money I have is spent on my children and I resent going out spending £80+ on one night out. On the other hand I have friends who moan if they are stuck in on a Saturday night with their children. Which is the norm? In my view neither of us are wrong, we are just different. We should celebrate difference not run in the opposite direction or throw insults or demean people just because they don’t follow the same path as ourselves. We should embrace that people choose different paths and that doesn’t make them wrong. 
I am a strong believer that books, people, attitudes, behaviour cannot be labelled and that the ‘norm’ does not exist. For example, it is the ‘norm’ for some people to criticise, berate and ridicule people yet in our house it is the 'norm' to be supportive of all in whatever field they choose. Likewise, in our house we don’t believe we have more rights because of the colour of our skin or because generations of our family were born here in Leeds.  Whenever I hear the media use the phrase ‘third generation Muslim’ it makes me so cross. Someone born in England is English, THAT simple. Their religion is IRRELEVANT. Likewise the label ‘single parent’ which is used in a demeaning manner in the world. Why? By the very definition it means the parent has taken responsibility for their child, not abandoned them. Surely the criticism should be pointed to the non-existent parent? The one that abandoned their responsibility. As a human race we are so quick to pass judgement without looking at the real issues or circumstances and that leads to inequality and prejudice.
This is my point. As a human race we allow labelling, segregation, stereo typing. Out of that comes prejudice, followed by some with hatred. I really don’t think we have learned much from the atrocities of seventy years ago. Until such time as we accept we are wrong in attaching labels we will never be in a position to tackle prejudice, racism and radicalism. In my opinion, political correctness, along with injustice and fear of being able to speak openly have contributed to prejudice, bigotry and racism. They are not the sole causes but they have contributed to it. The only way to eradicate these from society is being able to openly discuss and debate the issues. It is a human race, global issue NOT separated by borders, language, race or religion. 
I was watching Sky News this week as I often do when I am writing – usually as background noise. The ordination of Libby Lane was on in the background. I counted in the space of three minutes the reporter mentioned the world ‘female’ sixteen times!! Now here is where I have the issue. For equality to stand, we need to stop using words like female or male as description. Libby Lane is a Bishop. She’s worked hard, made lots of sacrifices in her life to get where she is but NEWSFLASH – ALL BISHOPS do regardless of their gender!! She will never be known as the Bishop who gave her all for her faith but as the first FEMALE Bishop! LABELS!


Politicians argue religion causes wars. It is not the religion that causes the war but the intolerance of some to accept other peoples’ beliefs AND the actions of some to IMPOSE their beliefs on others rather than accepting difference. Politicians have a responsibility in all that is wrong in the world too as we all do.  


In order to stop sexism, racism, homophobia and all that is holding us back as a human race, we first have to make a conscious effort to drop the language. Then take positive action to recognise people as people not as LABELS, educate our young on this basis and then, only then we may start to redress the inequalities and prejudice.
Prejudice and inequalities are often based on ignorance and what we are told to believe. I will never forget the image of a child of no more than six (maybe younger) throwing a Molotov cocktail at the police in Northern Ireland. When a reporter asked him why, he looked at him with total disbelief and said ‘because they are scum.’ Or the picture of a very young football fan with his middle finger stuck up pointing at the opposition supporters. Who teaches them? They aren’t born with this deep rooted hatred.
Education and open debate are the way forward. Let our children debate ISIS and their beliefs, however uncomfortable we feel. Let our children debate racism and prejudice because if we don’t, there is a real danger they will believe all the hype and rubbish that is written in the media and online and fear breeds prejudice. It is time we took control of this. I made the conscious effort as a parent to openly discuss these issues with my children. Wes is studying Nazi Germany and the Holocaust in his ‘A’ level History and it has been a real eye opener for him, as it was for me when I studied it. Knowledge is power and most governments are happy with an apathetic electorate that believe everything that his spoon fed to them. We are all responsible for challenging government policy and trying to change the world and not just by voting on election day. I also feel it is my responsibility as a parent to arm my children with the knowledge to combat prejudice and inequality.
Having said all this, I do have to say I was very close to quitting this week. Life is an uphill struggle for all of us and not made any easier by prejudice, circumstance and all the other things that are thrown at us. I have had to do a lot of soul searching to decide whether this life I am trying to forge is worth the criticism and the sheer brutality of some people. However, the boys need me AND why should I give up trying to change my career just because people have a different idea of what is the ‘norm’. I am not giving up because the world is against me, or so it seems sometimes. I will continue to educate my boys to be tolerant, embrace difference, diversity, fight for truth and justice and above all have respect for all human beings including themselves. Just imagine the sort of world we would be leaving behind if we all did this for our children. This is how I hope my children see their fellow human beings:

Never underestimate the power of knowledge and books. I take for granted the freedom I have to choose the books I read and the education I have had and my children are having. I want to contribute to changing the world, as an author, a mother but most of all as a human being.Personal Goal
This week, I am working on a small, personal project and have an open day at a local university for a possible Phd study. Watch this space...


Back to the books  I took a break this week from writing because I had a real crisis of confidence. I am glad to say I am back and will be writing lots and lots this week.

I hope everyone has their best week EVER. It's a new month, so make it count.




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Thank you Mr King... I can call myself an author...I think!

Last week was not a particularly great week for me. Lucas is having a really hard time with a mystery illness at the moment. It's such a worrying time but he is under the care of our wonderful NHS and we will in time get to the bottom it.

When he is off, I do try to continue to write but always around his needs. By the end of the week though I get really frustrated and upset with myself because I haven't done as much I wanted to do. I really have to stop beating myself up and remember I am only ONE human being.

Last Friday saw the first anniversary of the release of Beyond the Past. I can not believe where the year has gone and more so what I have done in that twelve months. In 2014 I faced my ghosts and in 2015 I intend to be a Ghostbuster (Yes cue the 1980s movie theme music. "I ain't afraid of no ghosts!"). I couldn't find the photograph of Wes and I with the Ghostbuster car in Florida, taken pre-Menieres. All my past insecurities, worries and people who have treated me badly have been left in 2014.

If you would like to read the interview I gave on the first anniversary of being a published author, it's here.

GoodReads Giveway 

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Goodreads Book Giveaway Beyond the Past by Pam Charles Giveaway ends January 31, 2015.
See the giveaway details at Goodreads. Enter to win To thank you all for your support I  am running a free giveaway of my signed book. This one is UK only (sorry, money is always tight after Christmas). Beyond the Past is my debut novel which was published on the 23 January 2014. Just click to enter. Good Luck


The first three chapters of Beyond the Past are posted on my website to give you a taster 
This weekend, I read an article by Stephen King - 22 lessons on how to be a great writer - read it here.  It gave me so much heart, encouragement and confidence. So much so I have printed it out and keep it on my desk. Without knowing it, I have been doing the twenty one of the twenty two points but I do need to work on finishing a draft in three months. Whilst knowing I have something in common with such a master of his trade, it may not help me sell any more books but it does provides me with enough confidence to know I am on the right track. After all, Mr King's first book was turned down by publishers and later went on to sell over one million copies. There is HOPE for all of us.And before anyone twists my words, I am in no way comparing my novice writing to such a great writer!

Beyond the Lies
Followers will know this is a sequel to Beyond the Past and is in my editing stage before I release it to the publishers and editors. This book has taken longer than I wanted but I wanted to get it right. The hatchet job is going well. There is no greater critic than yourself.

Facebook Groups

I want to say a huge thank you to the readers and contributors of all the book and author groups that I am part of on Facebook and the parents in the parenting blogging groups. Writing is a solitary business and it has to be in order for you to create. Having fellow writers and readers on hand to help thrash out queries, give and receive advice and have a laugh with, is priceless. Never under estimate the effect one positive comment can have on lifting someone’s spirits. I love receiving constructive comments and feedback and you lovely lot never disappoint. 

This week I have been asked what’s the one lesson you have learned over the first twelve months of being an author? I have actually learned so much but without doubt the one thing I have done is grown a thick skin. As a writer, as in life you need to weed out constructive, well-meaning criticism from the nasty, vindictive, green eyed monster criticism. Not everyone that smiles at you, wishes you well! I’m following Mr King’s advice and primarily writing for myself. Not everyone will love what you do.That's okay by me.


From Behind the Painted Smile

I started this and then started again. I aim to finish the draft in three months, subject to marketing, childhood illnesses and everything else that is thrown at me – obviously if I can fight ghosts I can find anything!

Rugby League

So the new era of rugby league starts at the beginning of February and I have to admit, I am really excited about it. I was never a fan of the franchise system and love a good relegation battle, obviously as long as my team is not in it!! Lots of you have asked how Wes is doing in the Academy and I am happy to report he is working hard and loving every minute of it although he has said this week, if he doesn’t make it in rugby league, he would like the opportunity to play NFL!! I’d love the opportunity to spend some time in the US but I have a feeling it won’t be for a long time yet.

The Academy games start in March. I’m looking forward to seeing them play and the road trips, even the one to Swansea! It’s been a long pre-season. Good luck to everyone in rugby league this year but especially the Sheffield Eagles’ teams (Yes I am biased!).


New Book Idea

You never know when the new idea will come to you and whether that first tiny seed is big enough or strong enough to grow into a full story. That is a huge problem when you are trying to set timetables for your writing. However it is a problem I can definitely live with!! So I spent the whole of yesterday writing a synopsis for another new book idea, that's why the blog is late. I don't have a title yet. As usual I have fallen in love with the characters and if I follow the advice of three months per draft I should be able to write four books this year. YEAH RIGHT! In my dreams and maybe if I could lock myself away which will never happen! With the current state of affairs – Menieres, single Mum and chauffeur – I’d be happy with two books per year and marketing of the other books. I have to remember I may be a ghostbuster but I’m not Wonder Woman.
Harry's Last Stand
I am currently reading this. One thing we mustn't EVER lose sight of is the sacrifice millions made for our freedom. We all take our lives for granted. My job as a Mum is to ensure that my children remain humbled and understand what sacrifices others made for them to have a the life they have today. Harry is a true hero to me. 
Well, I'm off to meet my new deadline. Have a fabulous week and enjoy every moment of it.



 


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