If it’s good enough for Madge, it’s good enough for me…

We all fall down from time to time, I should know my excuse is not a black cape but Meniere’s. I didn’t see the Brit Awards live, I was doing my proud Mummy duties in Sheffield for my rising rugby star. Obviously I heard about it before I got the chance to see it.
It amazes me that some people can actually suggest the whole incident at the Brit Awards was a publicity stunt – like our Madge needs anymore publicity – please! The woman is fifty six years old and simply incredible. I was never really a fan when she burst on the scene in the early 1980s. I was very much into Queen, Dexys Midnight Runners, Soft Cell and Human League et al. Now I appreciate her as an artist and a woman. Her longevity in the business is not a fluke, it’s down to sheer hard work and determination to succeed and that, I can certainly relate to.
If only I had had the courage and support back then in 1982 to pursue writing as my career. BUT, and it’s is a pretty big BUT. I don’t think I would have written as I write now. Life experience is invaluable and really adds depth to writing – Sam Smith is testament to that! I also had not read enough books back in 1982 although one book I read back then did have a profound effect on my life. On the 29 August 1982 Ingrid Bergman died on her sixty seventh birthday. I read one of the many biographies that had been written about the formidable woman. She was inspiring. Unfortunately I didn’t have the confidence, the belief, the courage or the support to follow my dreams and I did what most of us do and accepted a life that wasn’t me. 
Meniere's Syndrome Meniere’s changed all that and I am so glad, in a warped way, it happened to me. This week has been a bad week for me – illness plus Meniere’s makes for a very frustrating and depressing time. It makes me question what I am doing and why. I succumb to other peoples' nonsense that I should get a ‘proper’ job and that would end all my problems along with silencing the nasties. IT WOULDN’T. All it would do is put me back in a situation where I am forced to take time off for Meniere’s or for the children when they are sick. It would mean Wes would not be able to be in the academy at Sheffield. The fact is, unless employers change their attitude towards unseen illnesses, flexible childcare and working Mums, working for someone is not a viable option at this time. The bottom line is I don’t want to work for anyone else. Twenty years of lining someone else’s pockets is enough for me. It might be hard now but to achieve success we have to make sacrifices. I’m not giving up in spite of outside pressure to do so. If the haters can’t understand that, then that’s on them not me. I want to inspire people to not give up and have a go even when it seems impossible, you can find a way if you want it badly enough. I’m starting with inspiring my children.
I have some bridges to build this week because my illness has prevented me from doing things I should have done but I can’t help that. I have to accept Meniere’s is a debilitating illness that can strike at any time. I control it the best I can but so many do not or DON’T WANT to understand the illness. Each time it strikes, I fall… just like Madonna. Each time I recover, I get back up, dust myself down… just like Madonna. Sadly that is where the comparison ends!
Giving in to pressure and giving up IS NOT AN OPTION. Don’t you dare even consider giving up on your dreams!
Writing
Yesterday I sat and wrote 6242 words and typed them up too. It was the most successful day of writing so far. There’s nothing more inspiring than a pep talk from your children reminding you why you started and more importantly why you should continue. Support is double edged and priceless when it is.
This latest draft is different from the other projects I am working on. There is an element of mystery in the story but the book is essentially about how small actions can change many lives in an instant. I am writing this blog quickly so I can head back to this book, that’s how motivated I am about this story.
Beyond the Lies
Sorry to all those readers who are eagerly awaiting the sequel. I wasn’t happy with some of the draft so I am in the process of the edit. I promise you it will be worth it.
Beyond the Past

Rumour has it Russell Crowe may be interested in buying a stake in Leeds United. His money would be better spent making Beyond the Past a film especially as we share a common love for rugby league which provides the backdrop to the story - #justsaying.

The first three chapters are available FREE on my website
PhD
When I finished my degree I was short listed for PhD funding. Out of hundreds of applications I got down to the last nine but alas tripped at the last hurdle – bit like Madonna. Anyway, funding is available again and I have decided to go for it. It is something very close to my heart and a personal goal of mine. I am confident I can do this on top of everything – sleep will be the first to be forfeited!
I look back on last week and being ill didn’t actually slow me down that much. I need to accept I am not wonder woman, I have two fabulous boys to guide through life and all the mundane stuff for the house, finances, etc and I still managed to do all the above. It was also Wes’ birthday this week. Where did seventeen years go? I am super proud of him and the young man he has turned into.

It is time to stop giving myself a hard time and stop listening to the negative people who probably only do a fraction of what I do in a week anyway. 
It really doesn’t matter how many times you fall, only the rising up COUNTS.
RIP Mr Spock
One of the icons of my generation passed away this week. RIP Leonard Nimoy. You helped inspire a generation of space lovers.
During writing this, I have watched Liverpool FC beat Manchester City. What a match! Great game, great goals but most of all fabulous football. It was a HUGE result and gave me goose bumps.
Finally, I want to leave a thought or a plea with you. Just remember, 



Everyone makes mistakes but few own them.  
OWN YOUR MISTAKES, YOU ARE ONLY HUMAN.
Have a fabulous week everyone.




 


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