Pam Charles's Blog, page 16

Whatever happened to integrity, dignity and common decency?

I may have to get on my soap box a little this week – well actually, a lot. A few things have really bugged me this week no more so than Black Friday! A concept thought up by big business to market their products in an ‘artificial’ sale, well that’s my definition of it anyway. It frustrates the hell out of me that the majority of people fall for it, exactly what retailers are hoping for. I was so embarrassed and to be honest, ashamed of those people that were willing to fight over televisions and other goods just to grab themselves a ‘bargain.’ Let’s be frank, retailers could quite easily knock their prices down and attract more customers all year round, not just playing on the mad consumerism that Christmas has become. Maybe a step backwards to look at the bigger picture is required.
This happening, in the same week as Good Morning Britain launches their meal donation campaign with the food banks and Trussell Trust, made it even harder to stomach.  I find it really repulsive that normal, hard-working families are forced to use food banks to feed their families because of the minimum wage and zero hour contracts yet people are fighting over televisions! What is the world coming to? 
It’s exactly the same with the NHS. How can the NHS fund pills that reduce the appetite for drinking alcohol yet can’t fund some cancer treatments? No-one has a choice with cancer!! The world is turning upside down and the wrong way round. I have little faith in most political parties and politicians. There are some really exceptional MPs that fight for their communities and to make this country a better place BUT the majority of them are career MPs, using it as a stepping stone for bigger and better things. That is what we should be addressing. Are we all so blinded by the media and what we are told is good for us, that collectively we cannot stop all the spin and lies we are told? We all have a responsibility to take a really good look at ourselves, our communities, our country and our world. It is so easy to pick out political scapegoats –  immigrants, benefits cheats - yet we never stand up and actually make the politicians, media or businesses accountable for their actions. Let’s face it they are the ones that control our lives.

They don’t fool me at all. The government announced this Weekend £3 billion for the NHS. My first question was where is it coming from? My second was, if it is there, why wasn’t it being spent in the first place before we hit crisis point? And my third reaction was I bet it is not new money at all, it’s just a ploy to make us all think of how great our government are. YOU DON’T FOOL ME!!! 
Whatever happened to integrity, dignity, accountability and common decency? 
I grew up with Star Wars and absolutely love all the films. My nickname is R2D2 (all body no legs, apparently!). Isn’t it a great shame that people tried to make the trailer an issue about race. It never, ever crossed my mind when I saw the trailer that the storm trooper was black. NOT ONCE! And why? Because not once I have ever thought any one of us is different, better or superior! We are all human beings, shouldn’t that be enough?
The biggest lesson I have learned this year is how some adults behave is truly despicable, yet these people are the one’s teaching our future generations. I do wonder what sort of world my children’s children will have by the time they are parents themselves. Let’s hope I have taught my children enough to use their right as a human being to address the imbalances in the world.
Now I have that off my chest, I can move forward and pick the next book project. I have ten to choose from and I thought it would be easy to pick but I love them all. I have whittled it down to three and I may have to close my eyes and stick a pin in one of them to choose – I mean in the paper not my eye!

 UK Blog Awards
I am so overwhelmed with the support I have received for this blog. I’m happy to discuss any topics constructively and your feedback has been amazing. The closing date for the blog awards is Wednesday 3rdDecember. The links are below if you wish to make an old woman very happy (well, I’m not that old, am I?)

The blog is entered into two categories:



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Beyond the Past



I hope you all have a fabulous week, filled with lots of love. Enjoy your preparations for Christmas but remember


It's only ONE DAY - Be awesome


The first three chapters of Beyond the Past are posted on my website to give you a taster 
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Always look at the brightside of life... even when it seems impossible

An insight into how my mind works. I was on the school run this week and passed an alleyway that was closed recently due to a dispute that resulted in a stabbing. Driving along, I started thinking what would you do if you inadvertently got caught up a crime that had absolutely nothing to do with you? Now I have three characters, a setting and a new novel outline. Who says the school runs are a waste of time!!


Menieres 
When I was diagnosed with Menieres in 2007 I was told it would become progressively worse. For the last seven years, it has been bearable but the episodes have been becoming more frequent and more severe. The dizziness I can cope with as it only occurs when I look up to the skies and lay down, two activities I do not do very often! This last month has been truly horrendous. The buzzing in my ears is so loud some days I find it hard to hear anything else and the pain has become unbearable at times too. In fact, some days I have used all my energy just to carry out day to day functions such as getting out of bed and maintaining a ‘normal’ routine for the kids. The pain makes me impatient, miserable and very tired.

It is not the physical symptoms that really bother me though. I am used to pain and can work through that. What bothers me is the frustration, the feeling of overwhelming uselessness and the loss of confidence. The latter is particularly difficult. I am afraid I can’t hear what people are saying to me and then I am afraid I will give them the wrong reply or appear rude and ignorant. That probably sounds totally stupid but it is true. I finally decided to go seek help and have been referred for a hearing test. It was so reassuring to have a doctor who was sympathetic and understood what I was saying. There was no strange looks or fobbing me off like before.
The trouble is when you are feeling so unwell, even little obstacles feel like mountains to climb. On Monday my car developed a fault – the spring had broken. Everything in our lives revolves around us having transport – both boys go to village schools, Wes’ academy place, Lucas’ football and that’s before we get to the day to day functioning as a family. The broken spring was a catalyst for me uncoiling – quite literally. I broke down in floods of tears. It is not the boys’ fault I have this horrible illness and I don’t want their quality of life to suffer as a result of an illness lots of people, including myself, don’t understand. Monday was a bad day, the worst I have ever had and there were times on Monday I thought I couldn’t do it anymore. People just don’t understand!!
The car was back on Monday night but is still not right. Tuesday I woke up and was determined I was going to beat this and crack on with my plans for world domination! I wrote down everything I needed to do (memory loss is a part of trying to control pain). I dropped the boys at school and had a plan of action. Why I plan anything, I really don’t know. Wes rang me at 9.30 to say he was being sent home from school because of incorrect footwear, the same footwear that had passed an inspection the day before. That one phone call, hearing Wes upset that he would miss a day’s lessons just sent me over the edge. IN A GOOD WAY. It made me realise these boys need me. I went into school and constructively confronted the teachers. I eventually got to see the head of 6th form and put our case to them. We made a brilliant team and I was so so proud of how Wes handled himself, so grown up and reasonable.
The result of that meeting was he was allowed to return to his lessons and the dress code has been changed to accommodate our sensible approach. More importantly, the student’s learning will no longer be interrupted by needless exclusions. I couldn’t be happier.
After that, my head returned from the dark place it was in. A couple of years ago I reached the last nine candidates for funding for a Phd but I didn’t get it. I started thinking I wanted to try again. This time I wouldn’t look for a Phd to fit into but would come up with my own study plan and then start looking for funding. Another dream could be fulfilled if I work hard and try. So I am going to try. I already have a subject and have started reading around the subject. At the moment I am only planning and thinking but it is doable and I can still continue to write fiction.  If I get funding I can still support Wes’ dream and do something that will benefit us all in the future. It seems a sensible win win to me.  Watch this space….

My lesson this week – life is what it is at the moment in time. Giving up is not an option so working out what will work within my limitations is my priority NOW and that challenge is exciting.
Beyond the Past
Sales are okay but not as well as I expected but I will keep plugging away. Now the sequel is written, Beyond the Lies, I need to get it edited and submitted. Once that is completed, I plan to work on making them both screenplays. When the publishers first read the manuscript of Beyond the Past, I was advised it would make a good television programme and that they would help me with that. Unfortunately I have now been told the production companies will only look at scripts. So guess what? I don’t take no for an answer anymore. I believe they will make great TV shows or even a movie and you know me by now, if it’s possible I am going to have a bash at it! One step at a time!
UK Blog Awards
I am so overwhelmed by your support for my writing and my blog. As a writer you do want validation for your work and right now you have given me that in abundance. Thank you because it inspires me to work harder and become a master of my craft.


The blog is entered into two categories:



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Lifestyle Vote Now







When you have voted you will receive an email confirmation. Please, please vote. It would mean so much to me.
Rugby League Academy
It is so exciting to be able to help Wes follow his dream to become a rugby league player. Pre-season training has started and he is buzzing. It is what he expected and much, much more. Seeing him so excited and motivated makes me very proud. He gives 100% in every session and I know that because he stinks on the journey home!!




Mr Fluffington and his Feathers
Lucas is working hard on his book project and it is great to see him channelling his imagination into a book. A chip off the old block - maybe. A bright, young, spirited child – definitely.
You see, we have so much to look forward to and so much to work hard for. The illness, twittertrolls, bullies and prejudice are insignificant in comparison to our achievements and aspirations this year and in the future.

You can beat the odds and be what you want to be if you have the drive and determination to succeed. I choose to live this life!! If I ever won the lottery we would still live this life albeit with a new car and money to support our dreams and aspirations.

It's okay to be different - Be awesome


The first three chapters of Beyond the Past are posted on my website to give you a taster 
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Lots of love 

Tough Times… but still determined

Well I have to confess this week has been incredibly challenging. It’s not that we had any major disasters but lots of little frustrating matters that made me have a few Mario Balloteli moments – “why always me!” You know one of those weeks when you question why you are even bothering because everything you touch seems to lead in you taking a further ten steps backwards!! Lucas was in pain from his burns, the printer decided that it wasn’t going to work anymore, the iron kept stopping working and I would have been happy if my ears had exploded! I desperately need some money coming in and the financial pressure is tough to bear. It makes it worse when you are on your own because you have no one to moan to, or is it at? But do you know what? That’s life. I could give up, get jobseekers and look for a ‘normal’ job but then Wes would have to give up his dream in the academy and Lucas would not be able to go to the village school he loves. I am working incredibly hard and I know that you can’t do that without the rewards soon following. No matter how tough it gets I am determined to keep going. I have come so far and I know success is just around the corner. Failure or giving up are not options and no matter how frustrating it is at the moment, once the break finally comes I will know I did it and did it from the depths of despair. So now I have that off my chest and have some great news….
I HAVE FINISHED THE FIRST DRAFT OF BEYOND THE LIES. 
At last I hear you all cry. I know it has taken me a while but I wanted to be happy with it. And I am, well I am now. I finished it on Wednesday evening but there was something nagging at me. Something that was missing. Scrubbing the floor (yes! I hate housework!) on Saturday, the missing piece came to me. Now I have the pleasure of editing. For my first two books, I have kept the original draft with no amendments. One day they may worth something (Okay there is a tinge of Yorkshire sarcasm in that).

I wrote Beyond the Past with no plan, no pre-conceived ideas or an outcome. The only two things I was certain of was the main character would be named Annie and rugby league would  be featured. In fact, I never intended to write a mystery/thriller/crime book. It just worked out that way. It's funny what fate decides.


I decided before I got onto my next novel, I would sort the house out, sort Christmas and build my admin business up. After less than a week though I am itching to start writing again. I have ten outlines for novels which is a really strong position to be in. I just need to keep going, oh and decide which storyline to choose. This is definitely what I would like to do for the rest of my life. 
UK BLOG AWARDS 
Thank you to everyone who was patient enough to keep voting for my blog. Please keep the votes coming in. It is frustrating the website kept crashing but over 2500 votes were cast on the first day – that has to be celebrated!! I can live in the hope they were all for me x PLEASE PLEASE would you vote for this blog and ask your family and friends to too. The blog is entered into two categories:



Arts & Culture Vote Now

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When you have voted you will receive an email confirmation.
REMEMBRANCE DAY
On Armistice Day I went to the service at local village church with Lucas and all his school.  I was immensely proud of them all. They were so impeccably behaved showing great respect for the occasion but it did make me think of all the people that didn’t stop to observe the two minutes silence. TWO MINUTES!! That's all!

At least the council were not empty bins like in John Bishop’s village! It is a sad day when we can’t just give two minutes of our time to pay our respects to selfless people.
Okay I am going to make our evening meal, the boys favourite dish – Beef stew & Dumplings. All that is missing is the snow!!
Have an amazing week in whatever you do. This week I have so much to do and pre-season starts for Wes at Sheffield Eagles Academy. Very exciting times

It's okay to be different - Be awesome


The first three chapters of Beyond the Past are posted on my website to give you a taster 
FOLLOW ME:

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Lots of love 

VOTING LINKS - UK BLOG AWARDS 2015

Thank you all for your patience this week. We managed to crash the UK Blog Awards website with the sheer volume of votes. The website is back up and running now. To make it easier I thought I would post the vote links here.

The blog is entered into two categories:



Arts & Culture Vote Now

Lifestyle Vote Now







When you have voted you will receive an email confirmation. Please, please vote. It would mean so much to me.

I'm a very lucky lady - broke, dizzy but lucky!!

I had an amazing evening on Thursday at Sant Angelo's in Wetherby. Regular readers will know this is a fabulous Italian restaurant in Wetherby. It was Barry White and soul legends tribute night - music that is right up my street! Lilvinny Robinson has an amazing voice and his fabulous choice of songs brought the lively crowd to their feet. One of my all time favourite songs (and I mean one. I have hundreds of them and will write a blog about some of them soon) is Otis Redding, Sitting on the Dock of the Bay. I don't know why but whenever I hear it, it makes me smile regardless of the mood I am in. Its a singalong song (that comes with an apology of whoever has heard me warbling!) until I get to the whistling section which I can't do - I blame the gaps in my teeth! I was over the moon when Vinnie included this song and his version was incredible. It made my night.

As always, the food, the people and the atmosphere were truly exceptional. I would also like to say a special well done to the new waiters who looked the part and never stopped smiling. It's a tough job pleasing everyone but they lived up to expectations. They made us feel very welcome. Watch out Luigi!! You know you're getting old though when the waiters look so young.

It was a much needed couple of hours break. I drove and didn't drink yet I woke Friday morning with the world's worst hangover - Menieres reminding me it was still there, unfortunately. So I had an enforced rest day on Friday which is particularly frustrating for me. I knew I could catch up over the weekend when Lucas was away at his Dad's house, or so I thought!

You see, this is where single parenting meets career progression with a big, massive, even huge, BANG!  Lucas burnt his hand Saturday evening in an unavoidable accident (pulls a disapproving face!). He came home to Mummy for some much needed first aid and Mummy love. Poor baby, he was in so much pain and I finally settled him at 4am Sunday! Bang went another day. Whilst it's frustrating, the most important job I have is as a Mum. That's my priority. Yes I want to write hundreds of books, build my administration business up, write blogs and throw myself into work but I can't always go full steam ahead. Instead of beating myself up, like I used to, I shrug my shoulders and say, "That's life!" I know in years to come I will have the best of both worlds - two very well adjusted young men who are compassionate, hardworking and honest AND my new career. In the meantime I cherish and nurture both. If people don't like, understand or appreciate that, TOUGH! Being a parent is a privilege not a right!

UK Blog Awards My blog has been nominated in two categories. You can vote via the links below from Monday the 10th November 2014. I would really appreciate it if you could take the time to vote and ask friends, family and colleagues if they could vote too.

Arts & Culture Vote Now

Lifestyle Vote Now


Beyond the Past
I have no real idea of how well my book is doing but I do know that everyone who has read the whole book has loved it and what's more, they are nagging me for the sequel. All I can say is please be patient. The second novel is fast paced and international. I'm nearly there.

I love being able to travel from Leeds, Lulea, Stockholm, Marbella and London - I hope you will love it

You can read the first three chapter of Beyond the Past FREE on my website



Guest BlogI am currently working on a guest blog and will post the details here once I have finished it.

Thank You
I am a very lucky lady! Broke, dizzy but lucky. I want to thank everyone who got in touch this week to provide me with such positive feedback about the blog. It blows my mind that I received over 1,000 views last week.


The fact that people are taking time to read it is fabulous - that you like it is a massive bonus xx

The highlights of this week have been helping Lucas with his Guy Fawkes work and the exceptionally lively debate Wes and I had on the way home from Sheffield on Friday night.The topic ? Democracy, Capitalism and communism!! Loved it!

Rugby League UpdateWe are really looking forward to 2015 and the new rugby league structure. It's complicated but I believe it will help the game grow and now it's beginning to feel real for us too. Wes has a team meeting next Thursday then pre-season training starts. All of us are excited at the prospect of the new exciting chapter in Wesley's life.

Lest We Forget  It's all too easy to get bogged down in our own little lives but let us not forget the selfless people who make the ultimate sacrifice to protect the lives we lead. Please spare a thought for all those who lost their lives and those whose lives have been changed forever because they chose to serve their country, regardless of which country, religion or war.

It would be great if we could all live in a world of peace, no war and without judgement of others. I live in hope!



 It's okay to be different - Be awesome


The first three chapters of Beyond the Past are posted on my website to give you a taster 
FOLLOW ME:

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Lots of love 

This Yorkshire rose is finally rid of those thorns...

I am a Yorkshire rose. I have blossomed, wilted but now I am in full bloom once more! 
I admit I have made mistakes, I’ve apologised when I’ve been wrong and I’ve picked myself back up more times than a blooming yo-yo (clean comparison!). I’ve failed but then not given up. Wes once said to me that I have lived at least four lives already in my lifetime and now I am on my fifth. It is very true.  All I want to do is teach the boys that it is perfectly okay to get things wrong and perfectly okay to adapt and change to the circumstances this wonderful life presents to you.
The truth is, Menieres and nasty, manipulative bullies have severely affected my self-confidence and self-esteem. I have found it really hard, almost impossible at times to leave the house and speak to people. In fact, sometimes it has taken all my resolve just to leave the house let alone speak to anyone!
Just after my degree my confidence was very good. I managed to get over all the past traumas and had started to learn to live with Menieres. Unfortunately my confidence took a severe beating when I deflected trouble from Wes by taking some terrible abuse from a twitter troll who was a parent at the rugby club. Ultimately Wes was forced out of the club but their master plan of getting him out of the scholarship failed miserably and now, as you know, he has his academy place and working hard, as he always does. At the same time this was happening, I was gripped with the worst episode of Menieres I had experienced and they knew I was too! I almost gave up. I really wasn’t well, I was fighting a losing battle and I was exhausted. I still don't understand why I attract people who are friends to my face but evil towards me behind my back. Thank goodness past experience taught something didn't feel quite right. It was actually their paranoia that gave them away. You see everything I posted on social media was, according to them, a dig at them. Nothing was ever about them because I thought they were friends. Clearly not! Even after I blocked them,they still insisted my timeline was about them! Arrogance is so unattractive.The lies that have been told and believed by people who don't know me!

Once I'd uncovered the truth I didn’t leave the house for weeks and I certainly stopped going into Wetherby. I wilted!! 

BUT, and it’s a big BUT. The support we received from Sheffield Eagles and the rugby league community, and the knowledge I had beaten off more intelligent opposition pulled me through. I got the Menieres under control, we moved to a new, more welcoming rugby club and my determination to beat the demons was stronger than ever.  I dragged myself out and made a point of going to Wetherby. Slowly but surely my confidence started to rebuild and I started to bloom again. Then Catherine at Sant Angelos offered to host my book launch. That one act of generosity meant so much.
I always question what I am about to do. I have always believed I am not brave enough to commit to something without hesitation. This was so true when it came to writing a blog.  I really wasn’t sure to put myself out there. What if nobody reads it? What if I get trolled? What if I can’t write anything interesting? The old Pam would have given up at that point. I would have talked myself out of it. I am so glad I ignored the old Pam! Isn’t it funny how you get older but newer at the same time?  This rose chooses to bloom and therefore I become newer as I get older. Nearly 10,500 views really, really humbles me.  
Look at me now!! My book is selling. I have made some amazing new friends and the boys are thriving in all aspects of their lives. This blog, the one I wasn’t even going to write, has now been shortlisted for a National UK Blog Award and I couldn’t be more excited. I am so so proud of myself. Me! Little old me! What a year 2014 has been for my lovely ‘non-conventional’ family. Do you know something? We deserve it! We have worked incredibly hard and we are going to celebrate our successes whether people like it or not. Quite frankly I have made a breakthrough. I no longer care! 
To those who have watered me, provided me with warmth and sunshine  - thank you from the bottom of my heart.  To those few people who judged me without knowing me, berated without justification and became an expert on my life - thank you for motivating me to prove you wrong. You’ve helped this Yorkshire rose to grow even stronger.  We can all be roses in a fabulously blooming garden. Just believe in yourself but more importantly BE YOU.
Beyond the Past

I love to hear that people have really enjoyed reading my debut novel and thank you for your feedback. Feel free to leave your feedback on Amazon or my website www.pamcharles.com
I am just tidying up the last chapter of the first draft of Beyond the Lies. It should be finished this weekend HOORAY!!! I then have ten outlines to choose from for my next novel.Decisions, decisions.
Thank you to each and every one of you for reading my blog and supporting me on this new journey. I am confident that moving forward will be positively perfect, well as perfect as this wonderful life can be.



HARD WORK, PERSISTENCE, MOTIVATION & CONFIDENCE ARE IN ABUNDANCE HERE


The first three chapters of Beyond the Past are posted on my website to give you a taster 
FOLLOW ME:

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Lots of love 

FEAR + GUILT = CONTROL

This blog comes with a warning …. These are my observations of life. I do not and will never prescribe to the notion that there is a right way of bringing up a child or a right way of living your life. I won’t judge or ridicule you for your choices. I have my principles and I have learned over the years that people can pretend to be one thing and clearly are something else. But that’s okay, they have to live with that. The biggest aspect of life is getting to grips with the fact that life experience makes us ALL DIFFERENT.  No one has the right to tell you how to live your life especially not an elected government or the media but they do every day!
We are all born the same, YES the same with no pre-conceived ideas of what is expected of us and what we can expect from life. This is the basic principle I apply to my parenting. Every child is a blank canvas. 
The Thatcher years had a profound affect on my life and the way I live my life now. I saw hard working folk lose their livelihoods, I saw whole communities torn apart, I saw police being used against communities and I saw the injustice of people being allowed to die by the very people that were there to protect and serve. I witnessed the media used by the State to instil fear into the heart of our communities. We have all seen the horrific sex abuse scandals now coming to light. FEAR is a form of control used by terrorists, oppressors and by governments and public figures who do not want an educated electorate who ask intelligent and probing questions, exactly what we have a duty to do in a democracy. If any of these acts by the State had occurred in other countries, the UK and UN would have stood against that State but why did we let it happen here?
History always repeats itself and it is happening all over again. FEAR is at the heart of control again but this time it is not the miners, the workers but terrorism, illegal immigrants, the benefits cheats and parents. They are our modern day scapegoats. The ones being blamed for the failings of our society but the real issues are never challenged. The ivory tower squatters look down with indignation.
Parents are blamed for poor attendance in schools, for youths hanging out outside shops, for the lack of results in examinations and let’s face it the list is endless. GUILT is another form of control. Let’s face it we are made to feel guilty from the moment we have children. We are told what we should be doing, how we should be doing but never why we should be doing it that way. The hypocrisy of it all it not wasted on me. For example, on one hand we are told we don’t spend enough ‘quality’ time with our children then school term time holidays are made illegal and we are fined even for hard working parents who work in professions where holidays can only be taken during school term time. CONTROL.
Once you start to question why, you open up a whole new world. Once you start to challenge what society expects of you, you start to learn that fear and guilt can be overcome through freedom of choice and knowledge. That is the crux of my parenting. I challenge my children to challenge me in a non-aggressive, constructive way. It helps them to understand the importance of making the right decisions, the reasoning behind those decisions and democracy. In addition, they help me grow. Just because I am an adult and their Mum, it doesn’t mean I make all the right decisions. I get it wrong and I admit that to them and apologise when I do. 
I believe all children are not immune from suffering neglect. Neglect is a strong word and usually associated with lack of money but for me the worst type of neglect is lack of time and even worse than that, replacing lack of time with material objects.  TIME is the most precious gift you can give a child. Time to listen, to play, to understand them and to educate them.  If you don’t invest time in bringing up your own children, then how do you expect them to understand morals, hard work, integrity, what is right and democracy? So next time your child asks you a question. Stop whatever you are doing and LISTEN, listen to understand not to reply. I speak to people who have lost their children and they tell me their biggest loss is not having more time with them. 
My priority is my children. I want them to grow up understanding what contribution they can make to society, not just for themselves. I want to TEACH them to be better human beings, to participate in the debate and not allow others to instil FEAR, GUILT and therefore CONTROL in their lives. It is extremely tough fighting against the tide but it is a fight I will continue until I have no breath left in my body because to me, it is important. I won’t say ‘yes’ if I disagree, I won’t accept if it is wrong and I won’t let others bully me into their ways but that does not make me arrogant or sociopath. It saddens me to see people too scared to have their own opinion.  I choose to make my own decisions – to live without control, to be free.
Children have to be allowed to be children yet we have to teach them how to survive in, let’s face it, a cruel world. The key to life is balance (which is pretty ironic for a Menieres sufferer). Don’t feel guilty about the choices you make but make your choices for the right reasons and take responsibility for your choices and their consequences.
This probably makes our home life sound like a permanent classroom but it is far from it. We talk, a lot but it is in the context of the life around us, particularly injustice because it happens to us on a regular basis. Adults behaving badly help me to reinforce our family values. However, injustice teaches us lessons and makes us strive harder to achieve our goals and I am so proud the boys have grasped that. If I had to sum us up in one word it would be resilient. People fail to understand this family has developed a resilience to turn adversity into positivity. We laugh, we cry, we kick, we scream but in the end we know who we want to be.
As adults we should lead by example and that includes every single one of us including, no especially, those who have been trusted with representing us in local and central government. I admit I have nothing but contempt for career politicians and people who abuse their public position for their own personal gain. It is my right to challenge them without fear of reprisal. Just think how many vulnerable people would have been saved from a life of torment if we had all challenged and not turned a blind eye! 
I believe political correctness was invented by people who wanted to hide the real issues of society. Issues like prejudice, bullying and radicalisation only exist because as a society we have not been allowed to discuss them – FEAR+GUILT=CONTROL. One sided views lead to radicalisation and prejudice, the very thing the media relies upon in this country. FREEDOM and KNOWLEDGE are only feared by those who want to control us through fear and guilt. Stand up, take charge and change lives. I am, and I am confident my children will too. All of you that sit there and say ‘I want to inspire,’ ‘I want to change the world’, ‘I want a better life’. Change ‘I want’ to ‘I can’ and then back it up with ACTION. I challenge you to do that TODAY. 
I know there will be lots of people that read this that have experienced the same 1980s that I did but then there will be others that vehemently disagree. That is okay. That is what democracy should be about. We should be able to have these conversations without fear of rebuke, without being made to feel guilty and without fear of being bullied. That is democracy and that is living the dream. 
I am very proud of my children and proud of myself for being a parent that will inspire my children to challenge and change the world.
Writing I was hoping to announce I had finished the first draft of my second novel but the truth is I have been busy sorting out the house finances and looking after a poorly Lucas. In between that though I have been writing and the draft will be finished this week, definitely!!
I also have another idea for a novel, which I planned out this week and can’t wait to start this project too! Right now time is not my friend – haha. Anyone who watched Marco Pierre White (originally from a place about three miles from me) on Masterchef Australia will understand this.
Well I am off to do some more writing now and I am thankful for the extra hour today. I hope you all have a great week and MAKE THAT CHANGE!!!

  HARD WORK, PERSISTENCE AND MOTIVATION ARE IN ABUNDANCE HERE


The first three chapters of Beyond the Past are posted on my website to give you a taster 
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Lots of love 

I’m on it…

Apologies for the blogs being hit and miss recently but I am in full writing mode and so close, I mean agonisingly close to finishing the first draft of Beyond the Lies. I put myself under so much pressure when I really don’t need to. I have no publishing deadline for this second novel although there are quite a few people eagerly awaiting the next instalment, if only life didn’t get in the way! It has taken me twice as long to write this book with valid reasons. I have had to combine writing this with the marketing of Beyond the Past which was my very first, full length novel. When I wrote Beyond the Past the only plan I had was the main character would be Annie and the book would feature rugby league. In fact, it didn’t even start out as a crime, it started as a romance but quickly turned into a crime thriller.
This new book is purposely different. I have planned this one. Although the plan detail has grown organically during writing, the planned timeline has remained consistent throughout. This is a conspiracy crime so continuity is vital. The timeline incorporates all the characters, all the timelines had to match and be realistic. In addition, I don’t know about you but I expect a sequel to be better than the first. Serves me right really!! Now, I have to put into practise what I have complained about for years! I am confident, however this sequel is a knockout.
Like with any new profession, you only get better the more you do it (Probably what Annie and Mark think too!!!). I already feel my writing is improving and my confidence is growing (at long last!). Nobody is perfect at anything and we can all strive to be better.
One thing that did spring to mind this week – in all the years of reading, I can honestly say I never thought about how the authors struggled in their writing careers until now. At the moment I am literally working for nothing so I am hoping my hard work pays off before I am too old to enjoy it. I also read books in a different light wondering what the author’s motivation was to write a specific novel – hazards of the job I suppose! I have also read lots of authors’ blogs this week and don’t feel as isolated or as much of a lunatic anymore (ha ha) especially when I read this - it really made me smile.
Wetherby Library Author Talk
On Tuesday I had the pleasure of talking to a lovely audience of book enthusiasts at Wetherby Library. Wetherby is the local town that features the police station DCI Fisher and DS Davies are based at. My only previous talk as an author was at Wetherby High School when I discussed inspiration and motivation. The presentation slides for that talk are available on my website.
Anyway, I spent most of Tuesday feeling really nervous and worried it would be a flop or no one would turn up. Of course, neither happened and it was a delightful evening which actually went too quickly! I hope everyone that attended enjoyed the evening as much as I did and thank you to all the staff at the library.
Now I have my first author talk under my belt, there is no stopping me! If you would like to book an author talk, please contact me via my website 
Goodreads
Congratulations to Tracey (from Arizona, USA) and Wendy (Ontario, Canada) who both won copies of Beyond the Past. The books are on the way to you. I look forward to receiving your constructive feedback shortly.  Come over to goodreads and join me
Before I go, I just want to tell you this. At the 6thform this week, Wes was set a task, along with his peers to find out how stressed out they were. A number of questions were given rankings from 0 to 10 and then the totals were added up at the end. If you scored less than 50 you was under stressed and over 50, over stressed. Because Wes scored under 50, his tutor told him he runs the risk of not being motivated and being  a lazy adult, this is to a child who trains three times a week, does all his homework, exceeded expectations on his exam results, is flying through his A level work and plays football when he can. Apparently, he reached this score because I don’t put any pressure on him at home. Why should I pressure him? As far as I am concerned, parents should NEVER EVER  need or want to put pressure on their children. Encourage them and support them but never push them to the brink of being over stressed! What a ridiculous notion. Let’s face it I can’t be doing too bad a job with the success both boys are having. I can’t get my head round why stress, or lack of it, is a measurement of motivation and success. The simple fact is I have taught both my boys to manage stress through being able to talk to me and I also know when the boys are stressed and deal with it with them. Pressure my boys, my eye! (I don’t like to swear on here otherwise I would!!).
What concerns me more than the exercise being carried out in the first place, is the fact that once they identified the stress levels, no counselling or support was offered to the students that were over stressed. Yes they were given childline’s number but really?!? Now that is worrying.
Next week I will definitely finish the first draft of Beyond the Lies. Once this is done, I then start the task of a full plot and evidence review. Then the joys of editing. In the middle of this I will be back on social media pestering you all. Have a fabulous week everyone.  HARD WORK, PERSISTENCE AND MOTIVATION ARE IN ABUNDANCE HERE


The first three chapters of Beyond the Past are posted on my website to give you a taster 
FOLLOW ME:

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Menieres Madness

I live with pain every day. Some days it’s a dull ache other days it feels like my ears are going to explode. The buzzing drives me to distraction especially when trying to listen to people in crowded places. BUT the worst part of this unpredictable illness is the frustration of not being able to do the things you want or need to do.
Monday started off with me writing over 10,000 words in one day. I was so pleased with myself. I had a plan for the week after spending the weekend nursing Lucas through yet another stomach bug caught at school. The amount of letters I get home from school telling me I’ not allowed to send my child to school until at least 48 hours after any sickness yet someone must be sending their child in because my cops for it every time! Anyway I should know by now that planning a week is futile. Monday night I started to feel ill and by Tuesday morning the floors were moving. Thankfully Tuesday was a training day but instead of completing tasks, I spent the whole day laid up. The sensation of everything moving around me is truly unnerving. I can’t do anything until this phase passes. It is really depressing - the noises, the ground moving and the sickness! I have no choice but to succumb to it which is even more depressing because I’m a fighter and don’t like losing. I did try and do the ironing and managed the school uniform, just. I worry about the boys on the bad days but I needn’t do. They are so understanding and considerate.  They do like being at home doing their own thing which is probably just as well.

Wednesday was better. I thought great the ground is still so I cracked on and got lots of work done. I’d managed to get to page 402 of the sequel, promote Beyond the Past, unblock the sink, finish the ironing and do the washing. That is me taking it easy! I am so grateful the boys completely understand the illness, regrettably some adults are totally ignorant to it. I do thank my lucky stars that it could be much worse.
Today is Thursday and it’s not a good day. I have the mother of all hangovers (without drinking) and the words are jumping around the page but I don’t want to spend another day doing nothing. I want to crack on and finish the sequel. I have readers waiting for it and I want to finish it so I can start on my next project.
All I can say is thank goodness for writing because without it I really don’t know what I could do. The illness is bad enough but each time I have an episode it erodes away by self-confidence and self-esteem. It makes me feel inadequate and weak. I get so cross with myself because I can’t go at one hundred mile an hour and do everything.  It’s also bloody tough to keep going but I won’t let it beat me. I don't want your pity, sympathy or understanding, just your awareness of a disease that affects people worldwide. I was disappointed to receive some unwanted advice telling me I shouldn't discuss my illness as it would put people off and lessen my chance of finding a partner. It astonishes and saddens me that this sort of bigotry and prejudice exists. Guess what it is advice I will choose to ignore thank you.
Writing has been such a liberating experience. It’s let me work when I can’t move, it has helped me come to terms with my past and it has given me the opportunity to meet some truly fabulous people. Do I want my life to be different? NO. I’ll live with the illness if it means I can do something that I truly love.
One thing that cheers me is up is hearing the boys saying thank you for all that I do for them and both show their gratitude almost every day. Lucas is especially vocal and thanks me for being here for him – like I’d be anywhere else! It is so important for children to feel loved and supported. They need to know they live in a safe and happy environment. I believe a child is likely to be more independent if they know they have a safety net and I am theirs. I don’t believe in the sink or swim attitude of some parents – lazy parenting! It makes me laugh when they moan that youngsters are paying too much attention to the X Factor, pop stars and overpaid footballers but are unprepared or unwilling to become effective role models to their own children.

Lucas and I watched the Pride of Britain awards and we discussed all sorts during the programme. We discussed the bravery and selfless acts but we also discussed politics – yes politics with an eight year old! He wanted to know who Ed Miliband was which then started a full discussion of the parties and their ideals AND where the Queen fits into the whole process. He was brilliant and asked some very clever questions. I love spending time debating issues and discussing life with both the boys. I can see a few screwed up faces reading this BUT knowledge is power and education is not just about what is taught in the classroom. It is my responsibility to discuss life with them and ANY topic is available for discussion. It keeps me busy researching if I don’t know the answer immediately!
Author Talk
Tuesday 14th October 2014 6 -7 pm I will be giving a talk at Wetherby Library, discussing my journey as an author so far. You are all very welcome to attend this free event.I will also be signing books. See my website for details or facebook.







You can purchase the book from :



Amazon UK  
Amazon US
Kindle
Pegasus 

 
OR ORDER FROM YOUR LOCAL BOOKSHOP.

The first three chapters are posted on my website to give you a taster 
 New Ideas
Last week I spent some time reading other author blogs. I realise how fortunate I am to have had my very first novel published in a relatively a short space of time from completing it (just two years!). There’s lots of examples of authors writing lots of novels for decades before they even get that glimmer of hope of being published. I don’t underestimate my achievement one bit nor do I take it for granted. I am within a whisker of finishing the first draft of Beyond the Lies and I’m so happy with how it is shaping up. As a huge fan of books one thing I hate is reading a sequel that does not deliver the same punch as the first so I have taken my time in writing this one – sorry to those waiting for it but I promise you it is worth the wait x
After finishing the sequel I need to decide on my next project. Another great storyline came to me last week and I quickly scribbled the outline of it. I just can’t work fast enough at the moment. Lucas and I are still working on his first book and I have to say it is very enchanting. He is very clever.

Have a great week, what's left of it. Make the most of what you have and go get what you would like... YOU CAN DO IT! Enjoy your weekend x

There’s always hope…

It’s been an incredibly busy two weeks, professionally and personally. After months of dredging up the past and forgiving myself for the horrible mistakes I have made, I am ready to move forward. I have even found myself thinking of dating again – I never thought I would ever say that again but third time lucky, maybe? Internet dating is an absolute no, no for me, especially as one of my future crime novels will feature the pitfalls of it (shudders at the thought!). The trouble is, outside of running the kids everywhere I don’t go out and there my master plan of finding a partner in crime fails miserably before it has even started. You never know, they say love turns up in the most unexpected places. We shall see. For now I shall keep creating my leading men rather than living with him – there are a thousand pluses to that statement!


I’m writing this while enjoying a cream tea at Roundhay Park – honest I don’t get out much. The sun is shining and only the gentle cool breeze gives away the time of year. Still on a high from the book launch, I am also delighted to report Kindle sales have increased in the UK and in, drum roll please, the USA! Me! Little ME! My book is out there in the world. My book is being read in places I can only dream of visiting. I know one thing, I will get to New York and Washington before I die, along with seeing a NRL game live in Australia.
Last Sunday was our last rugby league game of the season. Where has this year gone? Usually, we are ready for a break – all rugbyed out! But not this time, well not me. Wes probably doesn’t share the same sentiment with his sore nose and black eye from the last game but I’m sad its over and it could be the last game he plays for the Hawks – a short spell indeed. The Rugby Football League decide next week the Academy format for 2015 and it is very likely it will be a new system next year. We are waiting the news before we can plan to move forward. Whatever happens his future looks great and as a parent that’s what I hope for.
What next?
Well, I spent two days carrying out a full plot review of the sequel just because I woke up at 3am in a blind panic that the continuity was all wrong and that I’d got one of the characters visiting a prisoners when he himself was in custody – sounds like an episode of Soap! Do you remember Soap? Anyway, I hadn’t – the prison visit occurs before the incident he is arrested for. Panic over. Serves me right for doubting myself. Old habits die hard. I can’t say much more, I don’t want to give anything away. I am very, very close to finishing the first draft of this book now, hence the 4.30am starts – I write better in the morning.

My biggest decision when the draft is finished, is which storyline to choose next. All of them excite me… decisions, decisions.
GoodReads Giveaway
A huge thank you to all 714 people who took the time to enter the competition. Congratulations to Wendy Holland of Ontario, Canada and Tracey Trafford, USA. Your signed books will be on their way to you shortly.

You can purchase the book from :

Amazon UK  
Amazon US
Kindle
Pegasus 
OR ORDER FROM YOUR LOCAL BOOKSHOP.

The first three chapters are posted on my website to give you a taster 




This is my book trailer providing details of the plot.



Author Talk
Tuesday 14th October 2014 6 -7 pm I will be giving a talk at Wetherby Library, discussing my journey as an author so far. You are all very welcome to attend this free event.I will also be signing books. See my website for details or facebook.
Well, I’m off to pick the boys up now (actually I’m finishing this off sitting in the car outside school – every minute counts!)

Good luck to all the teams in the Championship Grand Final at Headingley this week – gutted Sheffield Eagles didn’t make it but there’s next year. Good luck to the Rabbitohs in the NRL Grand Final, which is typically on at the same time as the Formula One – thank goodness for Sky Plus!
Until next time… stay safe and have lots of fun.