Pam Charles's Blog, page 15

a year ago today... how time flies

my 1st anniversary interview

My experience of Social Media – the good, the bad and the downright ugly!

Well last week was a busy old week for us. My youngest had to have some blood tests which turned out to be a farce resulting in a visit to the LGI. It is so frustrating when a full day is taken up because someone can’t do their job but that’s life I suppose.

Most of my work was editing Beyond the Lies. I must admit I am doing a hatchet job on the draft manuscript. The results are going to be awesome.  
Lots of news issues this week have got me thinking – I know, very dangerous for all! I was thinking how intolerant and unsympathetic we have become. But have we? Is it that we spend too much time concentrating our efforts on highlighting the bad rather than celebrating the good? Should we not be celebrating our differences as that is what makes us all unique? Isn’t it strange how two people can read the same sentence and interpret the message in completely different, unique ways? I’m not sure ‘strange’ is the right word really. Anyway, this thought process led onto a whole series of ideas including what makes an expert and how do we know whose opinion to trust online. Yep, this REALLY is how my mind works. Most of you will know that I have experienced the good, the bad and the downright ugly on social media, especially twitter. So, I thought I would give you my take on it – warts and all. 

As an aspiring author/ writer (whatever the correct job description is) social media is an invaluable tool. It has connected me to so many people and places I would never have imagined reaching. Whether we like it or not, we all seem to be drawn in to the social media circus eventually. I started using social media in 2009 after being dragged kicking and screaming into the virtual world by fellow students on my university degree. I was subjected to ironic ridicule as a computer student not partaking in this ‘new’ phenomenon. To me it seemed another marketing campaign to suck us in to buying goods and services we really did not need. Oh, how wrong I was – well maybe partly.

Now, I openly admit I was naïve back then. I expected everyone to act responsibly and be themselves. I had NO IDEA at all, people would set up bogus accounts and aliases, and to me, Trolls were the big ugly monsters that hid under the bridge in Billy Goats Gruff! And SPAM, was from a tin!!

What do you use social media for?

There are many uses and I doubt that the founders of the programs imagined they would be used the way they are. To categorise I would say these are the main uses – entertainment, debate, meeting people, business networking, business marketing, sharing information, trolling, venting and spamming.

I had no idea social media was used for business until I expanded my horizons and started writing. I thought it was all friends have a bit of a laugh with each other, which I believe Facebook, Twitter and others were intended for. I primarily use Facebook and Twitter for a number of reasons but I also used LinkedIn, Instagram, GooglePlus and Pin Interest. If I had more time I would use others. 

I do like LinkedIn but find it hard to navigate sometimes, probably time constraints are my biggest hurdle. It is a completely different experience to the other sites and I enjoy the business discussions and it is my go to site for ‘expert’ advice, although I do still check the authenticity before accepting the advice. Facebook and Twitter are my ‘entertainment-come-friends-come-networking-come-debating’ sites. Google plus I use to promote my blog.

The GoodWithout doubt, as in life, there are some very genuine, lovely people on social media who are working hard to build their own business and their professional reputation. LinkedIn is by far the most professional – I’d be worried if it wasn’t! However, there are great people on Facebook and Twitter too. Lots of people I have got to know, really lift my spirits when I’m doubting myself and I have found some great sites to help with building my profile as a writer and a woman in business – some of my favourites are Jane Wilmott at Women in Business Mastermind, She Quality Matters Magazine, Wetherbyhour and Books Go Social, to name a few. These people are incredibly clever and generous with their advice and support. That is really what I love about social media – the majority of individuals I connect with provide advice and support, invaluable to anyone starting out on a new career path. By far my favourite part of twitter are the networking hours where like minded business people exchange views and ideas like #kprs #leedshour #yorkshirehour #wineoclock #promotingwomen #wetherbyhour. These are just a selection. There are lots more and are really worth a look at

Social Media is a heaven sent tool for all our fabulous charities – for raising funds and for vital awareness. Long may this aspect continue and may lots more benefit from it.
I have always said the Hillsborough disaster would not have dragged on 25 years if social media had existed back then. Freedom of speech and connecting people has massive advantages as well as pitfalls. That's important.
 The Bad Some people feel they have the right to call themselves ‘experts’, ‘gurus’, etc when really it is all only in the name. The problem with social media is anyone can call themselves anything. Caution is required. Everyone is not an expert but everyone has an opinion, whether they have the knowledge or not. It really frustrates me when Liverpool FC lose. Suddenly die hard Liverpool fans turn into enemies of the club and individual players. Why? I’m sure Shanks once said "If you can't support us when we lose or draw, don't support us when we win." On match days I stay away from Twitter! What I don’t do is force my views on other people, I don’t have the energy!

The Downright Ugly
There’s always one! Or maybe quite a few. 

BEWARE – if you met people in real life and they lied to your face, were rude, racist, arrogant, ignorant and gave you a false name, would you remain friends or associated with them? Then BLOCK THEM online. Sadly, there are people out there that pretend to be someone else, take on an alto ego and are downright rude and nasty – twittertrolls. They masquerade as people who believe their opinion is superior to everyone else’s and they are experts in everything especially your life.  I love a good debate but it has to be intelligent and no mud-slinging. Calling someone a name because you don’t agree with them is childish and social media does bring out the worst in some people.

These are the dangerous ones. The ones that have no boundaries or standards, online or in the real world. Like in the real world, cut them out of your virtual life, the tools are there. 

Very often it is not what you say but how you say it. I despise people who belittle, berate and hate people just because they can. No one has the right to throw abuse, no one! However, what I see as abuse, others see as entertainment. That, is when you know to shut them out completely.  Just think about this for a moment. There are 284 million active users of Twitter, of which 23 million are said to be not human! I’ll pause there for a second at the thought of the non-human users made me laugh out loud. 58 million tweets are sent per day or 9,100 every second.
(source http://www.statisticbrain.com/twitter...).

In reality we are all a very miniscule part of a huge entity – bit like the real world. This is perspective. With that in mind, I take most things that are written with a pinch of salt unless it’s illegal, defamatory or racist then I report it. Why? Because I would in the real world. I’m not perfect, I get it wrong sometimes but I do have a standard that I live by. I recognise not everyone shares the same values or have such high standards.I'm happy to walk away from those people as I would do in life.

How I deal with Social Media

I apply the same principles to the virtual world as I do to the real world. This is the basis of the safe online training I have given to the boys, although my eight year old is not allowed on the internet unless he is sat with me. Any new programs they have, I know the passwords to them all and I do check their accounts from time to time. I trust them but don’t trust everyone else and Wes trusts me enough to not have a problem in me checking his social media.

Since the lies of the 1980s, I am very cynical when it comes to the media and the written or spoken word and I apply the same principles to social media too. Before getting on your high horse or letting something distress you, think about these:
Who is it written by? Is it opinion or fact? Why and for what purpose was it written?Does it really matter?
This was my only advice to the boys when they started using the internet and watching news programmes or reading articles. You need perspective. Let’s face it, one fact can be manipulated to have a completely different meaning depending upon your point of view – look at our politicians for clarification! Ultimately it is your own decision and interpretation that will decide if you let that person’s opinion be heard and be valid. That is how I read social media.

The fact is you do not know who you are talking to online. Even if you think you do, you don’t, not 100%. Someone once wrote that a spoof account had been set up in my name. It was childish and ignorant BUT it did make me worry because anything could be written in my name. That disgusts me but just shows the lows some people will stoop to. After my horrific experiences on Twitter, I came up with a survival kit. 

My self preservation survival kit for Social Media

Be YourselfStay away from troubleDon’t believe everything you readDon’t believe everyone is as honest as you.Don’t be afraid to BLOCKBuild on who you are in the real world – don’t compromise yourselfOpinion is NOT knowledge or expertiseDon't write anything you wouldn't say out loud Report unsuitable content. We all have a responsibility.You can’t do anything about how someone interprets what you say.Check followers and following of the user – it really does give you an insight into their personalityKeep everyone’s intended uses in mind.If you wouldn’t put up with it in the real world, don’t put up with it in the virtual world.If in doubt, check it out

How do I weed out opinion from knowledge?

This is what I do, but I’m not an expert! In spite of the pitfalls, I still believe social media is a fabulous invention. I choose to be a part of the media circus and I accept some of the risks but I can reduce those risks myself.
 I stay clear of any accounts with no profile pictures, hidden content or questionable content. Check followers and following and check timelines for other posts and commentsIf I like someone’s post or article, I check them out. I google them and check LinkedIn. The chances are authentic people will ensure they can be traced. Facebook search them. I’ve found people hiding behind aliases on Twitter use the same profile picture on Facebook and their real name and real identity. BUSTED!If they have a website or blog – check them out. Ask them questions. Genuine people are more than happy to discuss their credentials with you.Cautious embrace – I enjoy social media but reserve the right to withdraw!BLOCK, BLOCK, BLOCK. 

Remember – everyone has an opinion, few have the knowledge or expertise. Putting yourself out there will attract criticism, even ridicule BUT don’t let it dull your sparkle. There are the few that will always spoil things for the many – that’s life!

This is my experience, my perspective and my way of coping with the virtual world. I am 100% myself online and I am proud of that. I would recommend to anyone to ABSOLUTELY use social media.

I’m sure there will be experts out there shaking their heads and questioning my sanity – trust me, I question it every day!

One last thought, I hope you’re not snoring by now. I choose to live my life my way and I choose to be different. If I don’t agree with someone’s opinion, expert or not, I will challenge it but the right way. If opinions were not challenged we would not have the technology or social media we have today – I’ll let you decide whether that’s a good or bad thing!

If in doubt, check it out!!
P.S. Well, I'm off now to do, guess what? Yes - social media scheduling. Have a great week  FOLLOW ME:

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For me, it is not JUST stormy weather…

First of all I want to pass my sincerest condolences to everyone affected by the events in Paris this week. As someone who has driven through those idyllic streets with my little boy as my co-driver, it is hard to contemplate how horrific and terrifying the atrocities must have been for the local people. We live in uncertain times but we ALL, each and every one of us - regardless of religion, background, ethnicity –  need to stand united for peace, tolerance and freedom. 

#JESUISCHARLIE #JESUISAHMED xxx 



Okay so this is new territory for me. Marketing a published book, editing a finished manuscript and writing the first draft of my third, yes my THIRD, novel ALL AT ONCE. Never, ever has time management meant so much to me. When I say time management, I mean making sure I don’t lose myself in my work and forget the world around me, not that there is ever any fear of that with my beautiful boys.
One thing I have learned during my new career change, is not to be too stuck in one way of doing things. The beauty of being self-employed is being able to make the decision of how you work.  I read a lot of information from other authors and specialists in the literary world but at the end of the day I work on what is comfortable for me without it constraining my development and learning.
I thought I would give you a brief update on my work this week 

Beyond the Past
This is my debut novel. Full links to purchase the book are on my website.

The links are on the right hand side of this blog, just above the book trailer. 
The Synopsis - In the height of his playing days, Mark Smith was a talented rugby player and the consummate professional. He was accused of raping a girl in a totally fabricated story that could have ended his career. It did end his marriage. He never found out the whole truth surrounding the allegations. Decades on, Mark is retired and works as a TV pundit. At a charity event, Annie Swift caught his eye. Slender and radiant, she lit up the room. Their relationship begins to blossom but out of the blue, Annie and Mark start to receive malicious texts, notes and being followed by a car. When Mark approaches the car, he is knocked off his feet. DCI Fisher, the investigating officer only realises the gravity of the case when they are run off the road in a horrific motorway accident. He requests assistance from DS Phillipa Davies, someone he had admired from afar after sharing a Christmas party kiss. Together they unravel the case and find they share a love for rough, playful sex. The extent of the twenty year conspiracy against Mark unfolds with disastrous consequences.
The first three chapters are FREE on my website

Marketing is really tough and time consuming but absolutely essential. There is no definitive way of approaching marketing the book and some days I do wish I had an agent who could guide me through this minefield. I have in the past, paid for marketing services but in all honesty they have not given me anymore than I have done for myself. I have made mistakes but who doesn’t when they are in a new line of work? Life is about learning from your mistakes and developing as an individual. I am moving forward slowly but surely.
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Goodreads Book Giveaway Beyond the Past by Pam Charles Giveaway ends January 31, 2015.
See the giveaway details at Goodreads. Enter to win
Beyond the Lies
I am currently editing the draft manuscript. My lovely publishers do have editors and it will be edited a number of times but I will only submit it when I am totally (well almost totally) happy with it. 
Editing is not just punctuation and grammatical changes, though they are important especially for a perfectionist. Equally important is adding those extra special twists that hold the reader’s attention. 
Although I had planned this novel, I never really knew the outcome until it was finished. This is the first draft which means the final submission to publishers may not resemble this version at all. In fact, I’m really pleased with the amendments I have made in the first twenty pages. Because I now know the outcome of the book, it is easy to change a few things to make the story more exciting and engaging. I think I get more excited at the first edit when I can finally the mould the story than I do with the first draft.  
I work on the basis that the very first draft is only a blueprint and the final version could be completely different. For this book, I have allowed my reliable critic to read the rough draft and I am hoping she will love the final version as much as she loves the draft. Only time will tell.
This is a sequel to Beyond the Past. The synopsis will be posted in a future post, when I have finalised it.
Behind the Painted Smile
I can’t quite believe I am writing this – Behind the Painted Smile is my THIRD novel and I have started it with a bang. This is DCI Fisher and DS Davies’ first major case after the Mark Smith and Annie Swift case. They are somewhat local celebrities in their own right. A body is washed up on the banks of the River Wharfe. It is the fourth body to wash up in Yorkshire rivers in as many months.  Harry and Phillipa have a serial killer on their hands. Will Harry head the inquiry or will it pass over him again? I have the basic outline of the murderer and the victims. The rest will develop as the storyline develops.
The Bank Holiday
This was a short story I wrote for the BBC Short Story competition. It was my first ever short story and I am currently working to change it into a script. I thought it would be good to practice on before I convert Beyond the Past to a screenplay.

You can read this on my website 


Wow, I have been busy this week, haven’t I? On top of this I have been to Sheffield three times and done lots of KeyStage Two homework! I did say I was going to leap into 2015 and I have certainly kept my word. I wonder how long I can make it last?  Well I got my answer on Thursday as the storms rolled in and everything turned into one, painfully frustrating go-slow. And on top of that the car developed a fault rendering it totally out of action and Lucas needed a blood test that turned into one big massive panic attack (him, not me) because the nurse stuck the needle in his arm and completely missed his vein! Oh the joys!!
Menieres  The storms cause a massive headache, quite literally for me. Over the last 12 months the Menieres has become more prevalent, which I knew it would but was hoping I could manage it without medication and I do, most days, to be fair. However, storms are an absolute killer for me. I can feel the pressure building in my ears and the back of my head. The tinnitus becomes louder and louder to the point that I want to scream. Then, after the physical symptoms comes the overwhelming feeling of uselessness and frustration. I know what I have to do, when I want it done by but the worst thing in the world, is your body not allowing you to do what your mind knows needs to be done. I sound like Captain Jack Sparrow!!
Imagine loud music playing in your head PERMANENTLY and you trying to sleep through it. That is what the tinnitus is like. Imagine being in a room of loud people and trying to hear the one soft voice at the side of you. I live with that every day. On top of the constant noise, then imagine having your worst ever hangover every day when you have not touched a drop of alcohol. I feel all this 24/7 when we have stormy weather. It is SO frustrating and quite frankly, depressing. As hard as I try the self confidence and self-esteem slips and I’m back to square one for a short while.  I want to lock myself in a room but I can’t because in spite of feeling like this, the boys rely on me to be their mentor, their bread winner and most of all their Mum. Thankfully they understand this invisible monster and are very good at adapting when I am not well. They know to come to me and speak to me rather than shout from another room – I simply wouldn’t hear them. 
I used to hide that I had Menieres, I saw it as some sort of flaw in me. I wouldn’t acknowledge the bad days and would try to carry on. Now I embrace it. I accept it is a part of me and Bob Marley was absolutely right when he wrote, “You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.” I don’t accept I have to live within limitations but I accept the limitations are there. Some days I can push those boundaries further than others and it may take me longer than most to get where I want to be but while there is a breath in my body and the boys need a role model, I will fight to achieve my personal goals.
Stay safe everyone and make every day count. 
Never take for granted your freedom, your rights and your life. 

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New Year but not a new ME…

Only last week I learned the extent some people will go to, to twist your words around. In desperation to start the New Year eradicating all the bad, I enlisted the help of a techy friend and it is handy having an honours degree in computing along with a curious mind. In the space of ten minutes we found multiple accounts set up by one person. It wasn’t hard even without the technology the authorities have. Those accounts have now been blocked but more will turn up, we know they will. There is nothing more I can do because I now have evidence to show that whatever I write my words are twisted. What I don’t understand is why they read my stuff. It would be like me reading all the articles by Nigel Farage! It would NEVER happen EVER, trust me.
Quite aptly this article appeared on the Sky News website and I can SOO relate to it. http://news.sky.com/story/1400239/paltrow-hits-out-at-women-who-twist-words. Whatever is said, whatever is done it won’t stop me from writing. 
This holiday I have had some amazing feedback and comments from you all about this blog and about my writing. This is not a hobby for me, it is my new chosen career. I could sit and wallow in the fact that this illness took away my career but I’m not. I am re-adapting and fighting to provide my boys with a decent life and upbringing. I am persistent and driven. I know what I want, it is within my capabilities so I will try. I have accepted that I could fail but the desire to succeed is greater than my fear to fail.
I hope you all had a safe, relaxing and happy Christmas. We had a very quiet one this year – by choice I might add. I decided I wasn’t going to spend the whole of Christmas Day cooking and missing out on spending time with the boys. In fact, Christmas Eve we went out for a lovely meal to Harvey’s Bar and Grill in Castleford which meant on Christmas Day none of us were really hungry. So instead of having our Masterchef homemade pasta competition, we played party games, playing cards and relaxed in each other’s company. You have no idea how much it means to all of us to just have time to chill. I know lots of parents will agree, every day is hectic but the extra burden of Christmas it overwhelming at times. For us though, with three times a week to Sheffield, football and all the other activities we are involved in, time at home together is a luxury.
This year we have not over indulged. I’ve had one glass of wine and two Southern Comforts in two weeks!! I know some people think we are boring but I didn’t want to start January ill and Wes is in the middle of pre-season training. It has done us all the power of good and we are leaping into to the New Year rather than crawling, kicking and screaming!
The boys were happy and that made me happy. New Year was much the same. No party for us, just four of us chilling and having a laugh. I will look back on 2014 as being a year when I found myself. That is PRICELESS.

GoodReads Giveaway
To celebrate the start of 2015 and the first anniversary of my first published book, I am giving away one signed copy to UK only readers.

Thank you for helping me to realise my dreams.



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Goodreads Book Giveaway Beyond the Past by Pam Charles Giveaway ends January 31, 2015.
See the giveaway details at Goodreads. Enter to win Full details of the book can be found on my website www.pamcharles.com
New Year’s Resolution
Have you set your New Year’s resolutions? I haven’t. My goals are simple – to carry on what I started in 2014. That’s it. I like the new ME. I like how I have grown over the last twelve months. I’m not perfect but I’m me – little, old me!
All I would like is a shot at success, hope for the future and peace. It’s not a lot to ask for but we are taking baby steps towards it. All too often I have chastised myself for not having a greater impact on my new career in just twelve months! I really DO need to give myself a break and a pat on the back from time to time. Not many new authors get their first ever book published and so soon after it was finished. I have done some work over the past two weeks but not as much. I do have a list now of what needs to be done in January but that is okay, at least I know where I am going.  

Steven Gerrard  I can’t go without mentioning my beloved Liverpool Football Club and the departure of a true legend, Steven Gerrard. For most of us oldies, we remember King Kenny playing and the day he retired. I have no doubt Stevie will be back at the club once his playing days are over. It has been a real pleasure seeing him grow and play. He has inspired both my boys to follow their dreams into sport.

I wish him and his family all the very best for the future and I know that taking every opportunity in life is a must even if it means making tough decisions other people do not like or understand.
Writing

This year starts with the major edit of Beyond the Lies. Although I finished it well before Christmas, I wanted to take a break away from it before I started the edit. I did this with Beyond the Past and think the distance in time is sufficient enough for me to be critical about my work – and yes I am over critical but that is a good thing in this instance.

I am also writing my third novel which will see DCI Fisher and DS Davies take on a new case three years after the Mark Smith case. It is ambitious but if you’re going to do something – CHALLENGE YOURSELF. 
Over Christmas I drafted another novel idea and like all the others, I love it and want to start it now. In fact, I have over twelve novel ideas – can you imagine trying to write all of them at the same time?? I haven’t set myself a goal in terms of the number of books I want to write this year, we shall see how the year pans out.
One other big project I have is to turn Beyond the Past into a script. I would love to script write so 2015 is the time to
add this to my skill set. On top of this I will continue to blog. 

I also need to find some other source of income in the short term to ensure we can survive. So if anyone out there needs a writer, researcher, blogger, decent, hard worker then let me know. The only term I have is working from home. 
I wish you all a very happy, prosperous and peaceful 2015 and look forward to getting to know you all much better. Start 2015 as you mean to go on. GET OUT THERE AND THINK BIG. You are capable of so much more…

The first three chapters of Beyond the Past are posted on my website to give you a taster 
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HAPPY NEW YEAR

Happy New Year to everyone. Thank you for your overwhelming support in 2014. I'm looking forward to growing with you this year.



I wish you all peace, success and happiness.

GoodReads Giveaway
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Goodreads Book Giveaway Beyond the Past by Pam Charles Giveaway ends January 31, 2015.
See the giveaway details at Goodreads. Enter to win To thank you all for your support I  am running a free giveaway of my signed book. This one is UK only (sorry, money is always tight after Christmas). Beyond the Past is my debut novel which was published on the 23 January 2014. Just click to enter. Good Luck

The first three chapters of Beyond the Past are posted on my website to give you a taster 
FOLLOW ME:

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www.pamcharles.com
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Lots of love

Lessons learned in 2014

Why would I want a house owned by the mortgage company, cars leased and never owned and a miserable, boring life where my only income is as a result of someone else's hard work? That's why some people are so bitter and twisted because they are stuck! They are unfulfilled. I speak from bitter experience.






That's the main lesson I have learned in 2014. I'm making my own choices and my own life AND teaching my children the real values of life. I may not have LOTS of material things and designer clothes but I have REAL values, fabulous children and peace of mind. Money can't buy them.




These are my lessons of 2014 :
1.      Never underestimate the bitterness of some people – driven through ignorance and  jealousy.2.      The positive motivation from the bitterness of some people is a powerful driving force to succeed.3.      Some adults are prepared to go to any lengths to stop CHILDREN from succeeding in their chosen field.4.      The positive motivation and solidarity of a family is more powerful than the lengths people go to, to stop a child from succeeding. It taught my teenager a very valuable lesson in life. 5.      There is an awful lot of adults that are so negative, bordering on nasty with no real justification.6.      The power of love and kindness is stronger than any negativity from adults.7.      Some adults never outgrow High School behaviour.8.      Self-development and improvement is vital for a fulfilled life. Don’t let other people’s failure to grow prevent you from blooming.9.      Never underestimate the power you hold to influence and improve the quality of thinking and understanding on future generations.10.  MY GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT THIS YEAR – is not the book being published, not the power of understanding my own life and mind, BUT to see my teenager develop into a well-grounded, compassionate, clued up and motivated young man. JOB DONE!

Some things I could have done better, some things I will change for 2015 but overall I made a start. I smiled a lot this year at other people's attempts to stop us from achieving our goals whereas previously IT would have de-railed us.
It has been an extraordinary year for us. My first EVER book published, independence, both boys doing really well, Wes gaining solid GCSE’s and earning his Academy place. I am bursting with pride but I know I am a work in progress. It may take a few more years for us to be self-sufficient but I have set my goals & I am on target. NO one can stop you if you really want it & are prepared to work for it. 2015 looks very bright and very exciting. I don’t think I have ever looked forward so much to a new year as I am now AND 2014 has been truly uplifting and empowering. I will always look back on this year as the year I took control of my life and saw my children grow more in one year than any other year. I DID THAT!! We are not that special, we just know what we want and we are prepared to work for it. You can do it too x



In 2015 the inquests will come to an end. I want to send all my love to the victims, families and everyone who was involved in Hillsborough. Anne Williams taught me how to stand up and be counted and that lesson has been priceless, no more so than this year. God bless to you all. Justice is coming...




Have you set your goals for 2015? Do it now NOT as a New Year resolution xx

I hope everyone had an amazing Christmas and the very best wishes from all my family to you all in 2015.  Let’s all work together to make the world a happier, tolerant and peaceful place.

The first three chapters of Beyond the Past are posted on my website to give you a taster 
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Merry Christmas

to all my family, friends - old and new - for your fabulous support this year. You have been amazing. Thank you my two boys for making my job so easy and for all your hard work this year. You are both truly inspirational.

I wish everyone peace, happiness, success and hope.



Looking forward to 2015.


The first three chapters of Beyond the Past are posted on my website to give you a taster 
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Peace on Earth… it’s in our hands, isn’t it?

Let’s be perfectly frank and honest here… this week has shown the worst of the world. No one, NOT ONE HUMAN BEING, can EVER justify the killing of an innocent child - or adult for that matter. My broken heart genuinely goes out to everyone affected by the atrocities in Australia and Pakistan. If any good can come out of these horrific events, it should be we all spend time with our children showing them how to become tolerant, dignified, decent human beings. There is too much hatred in this world.
What is wrong with everything? Is peace just too much to expect or wish for?
I don’t know about you but my general feeling of the world at this moment in time is, there are a lot of angry, selfish, nasty people about. You know the ones, they come in different degrees of nastiness and vindictiveness yet seem to be the ones that are too cowardly to actually stand up and be counted in a positive way. Acts of terrorism and sheer brutality grab the media attention but when Wes asked me this week what was wrong with people , after witnessing girls being horrible at his school, it highlighted that it is not just me that is getting really fed up of the degree of hatred and nastiness out there.
Another example was in an author’s forum this week which was discussing bad reviews and one in particular had upset an author, not because their work was criticised per se but the manner in which it was done. Constructive criticism is accepted from anyone who puts themselves out there. Unfortunately there is an alarming and current trend of terrible, abusive and quite frankly unacceptable comments that the keyboard coward (not warrior – warriors are courageous and fight for what they believe in) feels justified in writing online but undoubtedly would not say to the recipient’s face. I find it repulsive as I do when I read comments like ‘I pay for my season ticket, so that entitles me to say what I like to the players.’ OH NO IT DOESN’T! There is no excuse or justification for abuse, online or otherwise.
I know I keep harping back to this but it is about dignity, integrity and common decency. You can be honest without being abusive – may be this is a lesson that has skipped a few generations. The power of the word is even more potent now. Used constructively it is a gift. Used abusively, it is a dagger much more deadly than any made with steel! If I don’t like something that I know someone has put their heart and soul in, I would rather not leave a comment than leave something that would rock their confidence. I have received so much criticism and been labelled a ‘sociopath’ because I believe in giving out praise and positive comments. I guess that’s just me. I have compassion and decency for anyone who is willing to have a go.
Abusers are uneducated and unfulfilled. It is so easy to sit in judgement of anyone that is having a go at forging a life for themselves. A word of warning though – YOUR WORDS won’t stop them succeeding. You may wound them but the hurt recedes. Success comes from being driven, determined and persistent.
I have spent the first forty (plus) years of my life wanting validation, wanting people to love me and accepting ‘false’ love from people I should never have let into my life. Now, I have found my inner peace. I don’t need anyone to accept me for who I am. I don’t need anyone to validate what I am doing and what I am trying to achieve. I look at the boys and how they are all round, grounded individuals and how they are more clued up than most adults and that is my validation of being on this earth! I am happier than now I have ever been and I really don’t get upset anymore at someone else’s opinions – as I wrote last week we all have our own perceptions on life. 
This world would be a much better place if everyone was taught how to tolerate each other’s differences and I live in hope we can achieve that, if we ALL want it badly enough but we have to stand up and be counted. Imagine what we could all achieve if all of us good hearted, warm, talented, tolerant people joined forces and stopped evil from being dominant!
On a more individual level, just remember – it is not what you say, it is how you say it. If we all make that extra special effort to be nice rather than mean and cutting, we can start to make a real difference to the world.

For me, if you don’t like what I am doing, move on.  You are not being forced to read any of my work, my blog or my social media timeline. Leave me in peace and instead of being wound up by my achievements, get yourself out there and make a positive difference. 
To all my fellow human beings trying to make a difference – keep doing what you are doing. You are all forging your own life in your own way and hopefully improving yours and other people’s lives in the process. Maybe, we can all contribute to eradicate the world of misery and evil and bring PEACE.
As I approach maturity (don’t laugh!) I realise what this time of year has become and I don’t like what I see. Christmas as a child is so innocent and magical. As soon as you become an adult, it’s about shopping, presents, food, expense and it is NOT pretty and SO stressful. Christmas has had a total revamp in this household. I sat down with the boys and explained how I felt about the commercial side and the pressure put on us for one day. To my surprise (or maybe not) the boys agreed. So we restricted what we spent, what we bought and what food we have in the house. None of us will be over indulging. Our Christmas this year will be enjoying each other’s company and relaxing. There will be lots of pyjama days and lots of games – playing cards, board games and Xbox games – although I am rubbish at the latter! That is my inner peace. Knowing we have each other and we enjoy being a family.
I want to wish everyone a very special Christmas and a wonderfully exciting 2015. If you are thinking of starting something new – STOP THINKING, GO FOR IT. New Year, new opportunities.

For me, 2015 means writing my third book and learning how to use Final Draft so I can write screenplays and continuing to support the boys in their dreams. I am living MY dream. Thank you to everyone who has supported me this year. Let’s hope we can all find peace in 2015.

The first three chapters of Beyond the Past are posted on my website to give you a taster 
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You can’t please everyone all of the time…

Do you know why I love books so much? Because each one of us can read the same book and come out the end of it with a very different perception, opinion and experience. And why do you think that is? I think it is because of our own perception of life, our experience and our outlook on life itself. That’s my own personal opinion. Let me know what you think.
It is like life really and I have written about this a few times now – how our experiences in life can give us a ‘slant’, opinion or perception of life issues. I absolutely know I am a different person than I was twelve months ago. I am much tougher now and I think I understand life more. I am totally amazed how many adults do not understand the difference between being truthful and being abusive. I suppose it comes down to the contents of my blog a couple of weeks ago – integrity, dignity and common decency. You can throw poor education into the mix too. 
It’s great to see that Twitter have improved their blocking service this week, giving us all peace of mind whilst we are online.Caio #Twittertrolls
Menieres - #TreeSelfie
This week has been a bit of a nightmare because of the pressure the stormy weather puts on my ears. Challenging! I always know when I am about to have an episode. My head becomes really fuzzy and even the simple tasks become difficult. I forget what I am doing and find it hard to concentrate. This usually lasts a day but this week I had three days of it. After the fuzziness, comes the dizziness. I consider myself one of the lucky ones because I have only ever fallen over once and that was pre diagnosis. I take extra care during this period but it is very unnerving. My confidence slips to an all time low and then I get really frustrated with myself, start wondering why I am even bothering! But I do because I don't want to give in to IT and I want the boys to see that, even in adversity, you can be strong enough to overcome anything.  Luckily the 'dizzy day' was yesterday (Saturday) so I stayed in with the boys. All in all I have done pretty well this week, only physically losing two hours because I had to lay down. The rest of the time I have muddled through and managed to get some work done. 
I know my condition is getting worse. I am waiting for another hearing test. Whatever the prognosis, I could be in a lot worse a position. 
The Menieres Society’s facebookpage has kept me entertained during this time. Reading other peoples’ experiences and life stories has helped. In addition, the society has launched an awareness campaign, the #TreeSelfie:


This is my #TreeSelfie – I hate selfies. I blame the short arms !! (That’s my excuse anyway).




Your support would be amazing. If you also tag me on social media and will share and RT your posts.



  Writing
I was asked this week if I have made any mistakes in writing.  The answer is categorically YES.  BUT isn’t it better to make mistakes than not try at all? I certainly think it is. I also know that, thanks to lots of fellow authors and lots of other inspiring people, I am developing as an author each time I lift up my pen. Like with any new profession, you are going to make mistakes but you learn from them. Looking back, I would have done things differently but I didn’t know then what I know now. That’s life, isn’t it? 
The best decision I have made is to connect with other authors through social media and other Menieres sufferers too. Both sets of people have really helped me to develop and understand my new career path and my life. Very often you feel alone and when people are permanently beating you with a proverbial stick, you start to doubt yourself. It is only natural. However, it is much easier to continue on your chosen path if you know there are other people going through exactly the same process as yourself. Their words of wisdom and encouragement are priceless. They have taught me that you will receive criticism, some justified, some not so but don’t let it stop you from achieving your dreams. You will know which criticism is given for the right reasons and which has ulterior motives. I have learned to turn negativity into positive energy - to be better, bolder and braver. I’m really proud the boys have caught onto this too and it will help them through their lives. Don’t shy away from criticism, embrace it. 
I have decided to give myself a break this year. I will be doing some writing but from the 19th December until the New Year I am going to spend time relaxing with the boys. We have been through so much this year and literally haven’t stopped. It’s a good time to chill and recharge my batteries ready for the onslaught of 2015. 
Have a great week everyone. I am looking forward to the schools breaking up on Friday and the church service Friday morning. Stay safe everyone x

The first three chapters of Beyond the Past are posted on my website to give you a taster 
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Life is certainly what you make it…

I suppose settling for a life you don’t love would be the safest, most sensible and ‘grown up’ thing to do, or so we are led to believe. LIFE IS FOR LIVING. Opportunities don’t just present themselves, you need to make them appear. Day to day life is so incredibly hectic right now – training three times a week in Sheffield, writing, promoting books, writing websites, blogging and Christmas preparations and not to mention cooking, cleaning, bills, running the house – you see what I mean! It’s funny but the more I have to do, the more I am inclined to knuckle down and work hard. Less jobs means I postpone them. I never knew how important time managements skills would be but time is the most precious commodity.   In fact, this is the clock from my living room.It is wearing the Cat in the Hat, hat from Dr Zeuss and every time I look at it, it reminds me of the Grinch - mean, taking time away from me! (Yes this is how my mind really works!). Time is definitely not my friend at the moment but I do make the most of every minute I have, which is probably why by Friday evening I am on my knees!!  
The beauty of writing is it can be done anywhere and I do it, ANYWHERE! People often ask me how on earth I can write in noisy places such as the café at Sheffield University Sports Ground or crowded pubs. In truth, I switch off. If you talk to me when I am writing and I don’t respond, it is more than likely because I have zoned out. I do it all the time. For goodness sake, the boys play rugby in the house around me so I’m used to noise and dodging flying rugby balls!
This week I started writing my third book – THIRD. Can you believe it? It has a working title, ‘You Can’t Have It all’ but it will change, I know it will, because I’m not struck on it! Another crime thriller. It is DCI Fisher and DS Davies’ first case after uncovering the truth behind Mark Smith’s tormented life. DCI Fisher is awaiting a decision on yet another promotion and it is putting a strain on his and Phillipa’s personal and professional relationship. It will be set in Wetherby, the police station is based there but will feature lots of Yorkshire places. There will be a few surprises too!
Being on my own raising the boys and keeping us afloat single-handedly while trying to establish myself as a writer means I don’t get the opportunity to sit down and reflect on how far we have come in the last twelve months. It’s only when I am asked to sit and talk about it that I realise what we have achieved this year. On Friday I was a guest on Tempo FM’s Women’s Hour. Leading up to the event I had my usual nerves but honestly, I don’t know why I worried. I had a ball. Bairbre McKendrick was brilliant and made me feel so at ease that I quite literally forgot we were on air. I normally don’t like talking about myself, much prefer to talk about the boys but it was easy to discuss things thanks to Bairbre’s flawless interviewing techniques. I had an absolute ball. It was my first experience in a radio studio and I do hope it will not be the last.
Driving home, I had the opportunity to reflect on this year. It was only eleven months ago when Beyond the Past was released into the world. ONLY ELEVEN MONTHS! In that time, Wes turned sixteen, passed his GCSE’s, earned his place in Sheffield Eagles academy and has started his A levels with one eye on a University place. Lucas has turned eight, loves his football and scored a hat trick two weeks ago (which we are all so proud of, no more so than himself), surpassed all expectations in reading and Maths and started writing his own book. I have had my FIRST ever book published, designed and launched a website, had an official book signed (courtesy of Sant Angelos in Wetherby), had articles in local papers, appeared on local radio and launched an award nominated blog. I hardly recognise my timeline on all my social media sites. It’s packed full of authors, inspirational women, fabulous like-minded people as well as true friends who have supported my mad quest to follow my own path. Who said I wouldn’t make it?
I know I am really hard on myself but that drives me to keep going. I know I am a better writer now than when I started three years ago. I am super proud of the last eleven months. How we have all kept going when people did their best to knock us off course. I am super proud of my job as a Mum and of myself for overcoming some pretty high obstacles. Most of all I am super proud of how the boys have embraced our new life and how they have risen to the challenge of making the most of their own talents. 

I am not perfect and I know I have a lot of work to do and a lot to learn but I keep developing. That is what I want for the three us – to keep developing as a family and as individuals.  We’ve all made mistakes – some HUGE ones. We can’t change that but we can learn from them and grow as a result of them. That is what life is about!
My message to you all this week is :
Be yourself. Don’t be afraid to try, don’t be afraid to make mistakes and it is OKAY to get things wrong. HAVE A GO! Please, don’t sit there wishing. You WILL regret it, I’m sure.



BLOG AWARDS
Thank you to everyone who voted for my blog. The decision is now with the judges. I will let you know how we get on but I am truly humbled by your support.

  Have a fabulous week - Be awesome


If you are lucky enough to have a Christmas party, please enjoy it but keep yourself safe.


The first three chapters of Beyond the Past are posted on my website to give you a taster 
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