S.R. Crawford's Blog, page 91
May 9, 2017
You’re Not Allowed to be “Not Fine”
Does anyone else remember a time when you’ve been feeling crappy for ages, but then suddenly you start to show it and you confess that you’ve not been feeling great for a while and then your friend or whoever says, “why didn’t you tell me?” Well, the obvious answer is because we’re not allowed to be not fine in this society.
Because not fine is an inconvenience.
Not fine means you can’t function properly.
Not fine means people need to look after you.
Not fine means you’re unstable.
Not fine means you’re vulnerable.
Not fine means you’re weak.
Not fine means you’re no longer any fun.
Not fine means you’re not you.
And who in their right mind would want that, right? So we go on pretending we’re fine when we’re not.
Well, I’m about to break the mold. I AM NOT FINE.
#SorryNotSorry
I’m not fine, and I might not be for a while. I’m not fine and I’m saying it now with trembling lips and watery eyes. I’m not fine and I’ll tell you what that means for me…
It means I find it difficult to do some things, but I’ll try to do them anyway.
It means life is getting to me right now, but I do know it will get better.
It means I’m human because sh*t happens to all of us.
It means I have emotions.
It means I am trying to be better and achieve better and that is a hard and tiring road.
It means I want you to hold me sometimes.
It means I want you to say “I don’t understand fully, but I hear you and I’m here for you whilst you go through this”.
It means I feel lonely even when I’m surrounded by people, because dark feelings can do that to a person.
It means I want you to keep asking me to do things even if I always say no, and I do apologise for saying that.
It means I’m trying.
It means I’ve felt good before and will feel good again but I recognise that right now I don’t feel good in myself, and it hurts and it frightens and it drains.
It means I want and need more from myself or from the world.
It means my lens, my focus has shifted and all I see is ugliness right now; which also means I need you to help me see the beauty again.
It means I’m fighting, and I’m in like the hundredth round in the ring and I’ve lost so many rounds and my face is all bloody but god damn it, I’m still standing, even with buckling knees.
So don’t be scared when someone says they’re not fine. They’re allowed to be not fine and so are you. SO ARE YOU. Not fine doesn’t equal doom. Not fine doesn’t mean depression for life. Not fine doesn’t mean medication for life. Not fine doesn’t mean you’re crazy or weak or stupid or a failure.
Because it takes so much strength to not be fine and still trot on. It takes so much strength to not be fine and admit it. So, be stronger than the rest and don’t be afraid to speak the words.
May 8, 2017
Beginning of Mental Health Awareness Week
Don’t forget to rethink Mental Health this week (and even after it, people) due to Mental Health Awareness Week 8th-14th
For me, Mental Health doesn’t just mean “mental illness”. They’re different. Mental health includes all of us. We all have the ability to have strong and weak mental health just like with physical health, it’s simple.
So care about your mental health as much as you do your physical (perhaps even more so). For poor mental health means a poor life. And, of course, you may succumb to mental illness when you’re not conscious of your mental health, too.
Then, in terms of mental illness, don’t be so closed-minded. Just because you don’t suffer from an illness doesn’t mean that illness isn’t important. Reach out, care, research and try to understand what you don’t understand. Speak out and support one another.
The world could be a better place with a simple shift in mindset about things like mental health, so be smart and give a damn.
Thank you.
#MentalHealthAwareness
#MentalHealthMonth
My self-help book is only £1.99 for this month to support mental health awareness.
Thought Capture
No one is good at everything but everyone is good at something. So find what you’re good at and use it to full capacity so that you live to your full potential.
And don’t be disheartened when someone is better than you at something. That’s their skill and you have other ones, simple.
Thought Capture
I really needed to see the people I saw yesterday. I needed that dose of motivation. I’ve had life breathed back into me again. As scary as it always is, I need to make the right decisions to better myself and my life or suffer – simple. And with the right people around me, I will have the positivity and motivation to succeed. One day at a time, one step at a time, one right decision at a time…
May 7, 2017
Thought Capture
Does anyone else hate being called cute! Like to be called cute when you’re an adult is just patronising, especially by someone younger than you! Am I right? Or am I overreacting?
May 6, 2017
Thought Capture
Yesterday I looked at myself in the mirror and was like “yaasss you look great” and now today I’m feeling self-conscious like I made a mistake.
Urgh.
Thought Capture
It’s a shame that more people engage with a superficial post about my new hair, than they do with a post about mental health awareness- something that matters to all of us…
May 3, 2017
May 2, 2017
Haiku
Alarm Bells:
You, stop pressing snooze. (5)
Wake up, your life is out there. (7)
Your future, it waits. (5)
May 1, 2017
Thought Capture
Social media is supposed to be a good way to market your work. But is it though? I feel like it’s just a bunch of people yelling into a void saying, “buy my stuff” and then it’s “no, you buy my stuff” then “no, buy mine! *throws book at the person through the screen*”
So does it really get us anywhere anymore?
