Akosua Dardaine Edwards's Blog, page 19

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

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Published on February 01, 2024 14:32

Just Over Two Years Ago...

Allow your expectations of yourself and others be fluid instead of rigid. Raise them when you can; lower them when you must. Lisa Olivera

During the pandemic, I wrote a book called Now What? The Flipside, the process of writing supported me as there were days of silence and solitude. I was finally in one place where I could reflect and share lessons rather than working, travelling, and flying about the world.

With the previous books I wrote, I would sit and chat with my grandmother about life, get her perspective and experiences which somehow put me in a more centered place, and explained so much of how I operated in the world.

During the writing of this last book, my grand mother fell ill, and somehow I believed that she would live forever. As far as I could remember I have never seen her sick or bedridden my entire adult life. At 87 years old, she was a vibrant woman who still moved to her own beat.

When I went to visit her, the shock I received seeing her lying in her bed unable to do much more than talk. I was faced with the inevitability that she was indeed slowing down.

We discussed the new book. She was surprised that we did not go through our usual talks. Is it because I am sick she asked? I was so uncomfortable, I shifted in the seat, smiled that stupid grin and said no.

Weeks after the book was published , I still believed that she would regain her health and strength to come to the launch, to speak at them as she would usually do and support me on the Journey. That was not to be.

my grandmother passed away and I could not bring myself to do anything with the book. Just as she was passing I was falling into a relationship that would also change how I viewed so many things. The book remained on pause.

I felt guilty, I felt as if I had let myself and the other people on the project who had worked hard, down. The book remained without a launch because of all that was going on in my life.

The relationship ended - in a very turbulent and traumatic way which pushed the book further down my priority list. Imagine me, writing about self awareness and self help and could not even help myself out of this mess ( the story I made up)

Work up today to realize that its been over two years!

A true wake up call - no pun intended

The lessons have been impactful ;

1. what you created can live on and still make a difference

2. Taking time to grieve is ok - this is a process and as with all processes it takes time

3. Life brings up situations to guide you, reflect back to you where you are, pay attention.

Lisa Olivera sums it up nicely" I am working on making peace with when things don’t go the way I assume they’re supposed to. I’m working on releasing my expectations to make space to see the goodness even in what is lost. And I’m working on letting the process of making things matter more than the outcome of the making — on how I’m shaped and molded just by choosing to try. I’m grateful for the trying. I want to keep trying."

Peace and Blessings

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What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

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Published on January 29, 2024 05:41

What you run from will chase you

"What you run from will chase you" Danielle La Porte

Each of us, the hero of our own story, our own life, faces different earthly and spiritual challenges from which we learn lessons that allow us to evolve different and higher qualities of power.

Every challenge we face, all the stresses present an opportunity for spiritual learning in which we can gain insight into the use, misuse or misdirection of our personal power.

The aim is to be content about who we are rather than to always strive for that good feeling with a focus only on what we "have" and where we work. Until then, we will continue to focus on games and things we own rather than our inner power. We will measure our success by how much we control the external world and other people when what is most important is how we define what success is to us.

It starts on the inside, recognizing and believing that:

1, You have the power to design the life you desire - that does not mean there will not be challenges, the focus on your inner power and desire pushes you forward.

2. The challenges present the mirror - the mirror reflects what is inside of you that requires you to pay attention- no judgement.

3. Things are nice - everything in balance

Peace and Blessings

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What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

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Published on January 24, 2024 09:20

Dear Love, what would you have me know today?”

" Dear Love, what would you have me know today?” Elizabeth Gilbert

Love says I got you, I always have and I always will. The challenge is that you doubt. You want proof and evidence and even more than that you want everything in your way and your time.

I am patient and I work on divine timing - are you willing to accept this? And even if you are not, I will continue to have your back- always

Love says I want nothing from you but for you to know yourself. There is nothing for you to prove to me, not a thing. You don't have to compete, cajole, push, prove. Do your best in the moment.

Love says I do not judge you - perhaps you can follow suit? Mistakes, missteps, failures are part of the human experience and last I checked you are a human being. No one is exempt from those experiences. Love is how you transcend them. Love heals. Love transforms. Keep love in your life.

Love says today, show up with me, pay attention to the signs the Universe and have courage to take action and decisions that may be unpopular, illogical to the mind and takes you out of your comfort zones

I always got you! Believe that

Peace and Blessings

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What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

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Published on January 22, 2024 07:18

Proving and all that

How do we know when we’ve shaken the hunt for enoughness and are moving from deep-abiding sufficiency? I don’t think this question can be answered. It needs to be practiced. Chela Davidson

I have always had the desire to inspire others, I wanted to be the one others turn to when they required an extra does of motivation. I wanted to be seen, have my name in lights. My mother said that I told her at quite a young age that I will make her proud. The question I am now asking myself is when does it go out of balance and become an ego fest! When does it shift from wanting to make myself proud to gaining external validation? That yearning to succeed, to become "someone" can become a never ending spiral of reaching and reaching, rather than being in the moment.

I am now embracing that doing my best is enough

that showing up real is enough

that following divine guidance with courage is enough

Without having others tell me, show me, validate me.

It really is an inside job.

There is also me being caught up in what society thinks, says and expects- living in that space and wanting to prove, and be seen as special, different and by extension worthy.

What I have learnt is, when the balance is off it becomes an ego trip. When the intention to prove and dominate overrides being of service, the balance is way off. It shows up in my actions.

Being mindful is how we can pull back and remain present in love and in service.

Peace

Peace and Blessings

Akosua's Books

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

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Published on January 19, 2024 10:10

Events do not cause feelings

Events do not cause feelings. It is how we perceive, view, and think about events or comments that give rise to feelings. Law of Metaphysics

This weekend we resumed our second Sundays with the Nina Young Women's Leadership Program.

Every second Sunday we meet with the young ladies and chat about issues, have fun and build community. Yesterday I had a moment where I realized that I am many times not present and in the moment because of wanting everything to "be right", wanting everyone to "be happy" and not failing.. And in that state of mind, I miss so much of what is happening.

What happens moment by moment makes up our memories, our experiences. It shapes our perspective.

Wanting things to be right, perfect, make everyone happy - can be laced with fear and lack. We miss the lessons and the moment because we are in our heads.

What I have learnt is to

1. Do the work, be prepared then let it go - making everyone happy and pleasing them all is not your job.

2. Be present - stay in the moment, it is where the magic happens.

3. Expected the unexpected and handle it.

4. Our feelings are our own, they are also guides, they support our journeys once we pay attention.

Peace and Blessings

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What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

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Published on January 15, 2024 06:40

Special vs Worth

Life willcause somethings to have to pause. Sometimes life will slow us down and that isok. Nedra Glover Tawaab

I just retuned from a trip to Salvador de Bahia, Brazil. The calling to Brazil was an internal one, during the last year I have experienced so many encounters with different types of spirituality, I felt the need to be in a place where spirituality was entwined with the culture in an undeniable way.

Salvador De Bahia's culture is entwined with their Candomblé, it is undeniable.

There is an energy that I felt being there, the drumming, the music, the water (being on the coast) it filled me up and I knew I made the perfect decision going

I also had the opportunity to spend a lot of quiet time with Self and in that time mixed with the energy I learnt that there is a difference in focusing on being special and remembering your worth.

This lesson has led me to focus on knowing that I am worthy and valuable rather than believing I am special. Special denotes separation, comparing and judgement of self and others. Value is knowing that the Most High lives and walks in me and with meu, that there is a power within available to me at all times. Special is comparing myself to others. Worth and Value is bringing your gifts and talents to the world and serving a bigger purpose, you do not have to prove that you are worthy and valuable. You just have to know it and act from that place.

I am so grateful for this realization.

Peace and Blessings

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Published on January 10, 2024 15:29

what thoughts are you feeding yourself consciously or unconsciously.

The issue is not if you are a size 2 or 22, the issue is, what do you believe about your body and what thoughts are you feeding yourself consciously or unconsciously. Iyanla Vanzant

At the start of the year, a few of my friends have decided to make changes with their bodies, how they eat, how they move their bodies and how much attention they are paying to their health. The start of the year provides us with an opportunity to reset.

I jumped on board the train wanting to take the opportunity to reset. Of course, in doing so, I had to reflect a bit on my "why"

Am I willing to make this change part of my lifestyle?

Are my thoughts about my body healthy?

What is the motivation behind losing weight, and having a "six pack"?

When I answered those questions honestly and got out of ego's way, I feel pretty excited about going on the journey to being healthy. The focus is on a healthy lifestyle, eating foods that nourish my body and not putting unnecessary pressure on myself.

The focus is also on the thoughts I allow to feed me, this forms quite a huge part of the journey, what am I telling myself about my body, about food, and how do I respond to those thoughts.

Everything in alignment - thoughts, words and actions.

So, here we go...

The journey to a healthy lifestyle begins now

Peace and Blessings

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What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

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Published on January 06, 2024 15:50

January's Intention is Balance

Balance applies to our body, mind and emotions, to all levels of our being. It reminds us that anything we do, we can overdo or underdo. If the pendulum of our lives or habits swings too far to one side, it will inevitably swing to the other. You apply the Law of Balance by noticing your imbalances. Dan Millman

Look around you, the Laws of Balance operate naturally supporting the efficient running of the Universe.

Night and Day

Darkness and Light

Inhale and Exhale

Sunlight and Moonlight

Work and Rest

Hot and Cold

Life let's us know when we are out of balance and calls upon us to recentre ourselves. The challenge is that we must make the choice to do so. When we continue to live out of balance the consequences show up as illness, addictions, pain, and suffering in its many forms,

Balancing our lives takes practice, it takes stillness, it demands that we pay attention to our bodies, to our intuition, to our divine guidance which puts us in a better place live a harmonious life.

Anything is the extreme can have unhealthy effects (drinking, shopping, working, and on and on and on), my grandmother always said everything in moderation even moderation. I heard that all the time growing up and it meant nothing to me except that it gave her a pass to eat whatever she wanted without gaining weight, to have fun and live the life that she wanted. As I grew older I recognised that she was saying not to overdo and go to the extreme with anything.

Learning about balance also taught me that everything is temporary, while we experience highs in life, enjoy them in the moment. While we experience lows, this too will pass, take the lesson and use it for life's journey.

To understand and apply the laws of balance in your life will certainly assist in navigating how we experience the Journey.

And what is the great equalizer when we are out of balance? Love

Love centres us, Love of Self, Love of Community, Love of Life

The amount of love with which we allow our thoughts to be created and expressed is the key that balances our thoughts. It is also the key to listening as others share their thoughts with us. Anchored in love, we are able to listen to life's nudges without taking it personally.

Peace and Blessings

Akosua's Books

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love